My name's Rudeus Greyrat.
I was a grown man in my previous life, but in my current incarnation,
I'm an eleven-year-old pretty boy. Magic is my field of expertise. I can cast
customized spells without the need for an incantation, a trick that's earned me
quite a bit of recognition.
About a year and a half ago, I was teleported to a friendly place known
as the Demon Continent, thanks to a large-scale magical disaster.
Unfortunately, the Demon Continent happens to be on the other side of the
planet from my homeland, the Fittoa Region of the Kingdom of Asura.
Getting back was going to require traveling halfway around the world.
I promptly became an adventurer and began the long, hard trek back
home.
Eighteen months have passed since then. In that time, I made my way
across the Demon Continent…and now, I'm past the Great Forest as well.
***
Millishion is the capital of the Holy Country of Millis. Approaching it
from the Holy Sword Highway offers travelers a spectacular view of the city
in its entirety.
First, your eyes will be drawn to Gran Lake–a brilliant blue body of
water, fed by the Nicolaus River, which flows down from the Blue Wyrm
mountains. At the lake's very center, the great White Palace seems to float
above its waters.
Further along the banks of the Nicolaus, you'll spot two other
distinctive landmarks: the city's radiant golden cathedral and the shining
silver headquarters of the Adventurers' Guild.
The city that surrounds these remarkable buildings is laid out as neatly as the squares on a sheet of grid paper. At its outer edges, you'll notice seven
imposing towers, with vast green plains stretching out beyond them.
This is a place not only rich in majesty, but also in perfect harmony
with nature. No other city in the world is nearly as beautiful.
—Excerpt from "Wandering the World"
by the adventurer Bloody Kant
Now this was the sort of city you'd expect to find in a fantasy world.
I'd never seen a major metropolis with this much blue and green before, and
the streets were laid out in a beautifully clean grid reminiscent of Sapporo or
old Edo. The sight of it moved me in a way looking at Rikarisu never had. It
was beautiful.
"Oh wow…"
The girl sitting next to me—currently gaping open-mouthed at the view
—was named Eris. Eris Boreas Greyrat, to be precise. She was the
granddaughter of Sauros, lord of Fittoa. For some time, I'd served as her
personal tutor.
Eris was extremely ferocious by nature. While she usually did what I
told her, she was the kind of girl who'd punch a President in the face if they
ticked her off badly enough. The mere mention of sailing ships was enough
to make her cringe, though. She was prone to terrible seasickness.
"Hmmm."
The fair-skinned guy with the shaved head, also gazing at the city in
admiration, was our demon companion Ruijerd Superdia. You couldn't tell at
the moment, but his natural hair color was a vivid shade of emerald. It was a
trait he had in common with every other member of the infamous Superd
race. To most people in this world, green-haired demons were synonymous
with death and destruction. But while Ruijerd could definitely be dangerous
and impulsive at times, he was basically a kind old guy with a soft spot for
kids as far as Eris and I were concerned.
I'd never thought of these two as particularly romantic people, but
apparently they could recognize a beautiful thing when it hit them in the face.
"It's really something, innit?"
The last member of our little group was a man named Geese, who bore
a strong resemblance to a monkey. Geese was an adventurer by trade and a
good-for-nothing at heart; the sort of guy who got himself thrown into jail for
cheating at gambling. He wasn't a member of our party or anything, but he'd
asked to tag along with us to Millis, so we'd been traveling together since the
Great Forest.
I would have asked him why he was bragging about this place as if
he'd built it, but it was understandable now that I'd seen the view. I would
have done the exact same thing in his shoes.
"Yes, it's certainly something. But that lake is huge…doesn't that
cause all sorts of headaches during the rainy season?"
I was just being contrarian, honestly. I didn't want him getting too
smug. Still, I really had been wondering about this. That lake was at the very
center of the city, and in the Great Forest just north of here, they got three
months straight of torrential rain every single year. Surely that had some
effect on the weather here, as well.
"Heh. I hear it was a real nuisance way back in the day, sure," Geese
replied. "But now they've got the weather totally under control, thanks to
those seven magic towers. No way they'd drop a castle in the middle of a
lake otherwise. You notice how it doesn't have any outer walls or anything?
That's because the towers are protecting it with a magic barrier."
"No kidding. So, you'd have to take those towers down first if you
wanted to capture the city, huh?"
"Uh, don't even joke about that. The Holy Knights would toss you in
jail if they overheard."
"Got it. I'll be careful."
Geese went on to explain that so long as the seven towers stood, the
capital was safe from natural disasters and even disease epidemics. I couldn't
imagine how that worked, but it sure sounded convenient.
"Come on! Let's go already!"
Urged on by an excited Eris, our carriage began rolling forward once
again. The city of Millishion was divided into four districts.
To the north was the Residential District, where most of the blocks
were lined with family homes. There were some differences between the
areas where common folk lived and those where the families of nobles and
knights resided, but virtually every building in this district was a house of
some sort.
To the east you had the Commercial District, where most of the city's
major businesses were located. You could find some retail shops here, but
they tended to be small-scale operations; the district was mostly dominated
by larger enterprises. This was where you could find Millishion's blacksmiths
and auction houses.
To the south was the Adventurers' District, with the Guild
headquarters at its center. It was full of inns, bars, and shops catering to
professional fortune-seekers. It also had quite a few gambling halls and slums
where failed adventurers lived, though, so you had to watch yourself. For
whatever reason, the city's slave market was located here instead of in the
Commercial District.
To the west was the Divine District, home to many of the Millis
Church's ranking members. You could find the city's enormous cathedral
here, as well as a spacious graveyard. The Holy Knights of Millis were also
headquartered here.
Geese went over all of this for us in surprising detail as we drew closer
to the gates.
We ended up circling around the outskirts of Millishion before entering
the Adventurers' District. According to Geese, outsiders entering through a
different district were typically viewed with some suspicion and subjected to
more lengthy inspections. This city had some annoying quirks, from the
sound of things.
The moment we passed through the gates, we found ourselves
surrounded by chaos.
Millishion looked gorgeous from a distance, to be sure, but it didn't
feel that different from any other city on the inside. There were stables and
cheap inns clustered near the city entrance. A little further along, merchants
running open-air stalls hawked their wares loudly to the crowd. I could see
weapon shops even further along the central avenue. Presumably, you'd find
slightly nicer inns down the quieter side streets. Also, the shining, silver guild
headquarters was large enough to be visible right from the gates.
First off, we dropped off our carriage at a nearby stable. As it turned
out, they were willing to deliver our luggage to the inn of our choice for no
extra charge. That had never been an option in any other town we'd visited,
but in a big city like this, I guess you needed to distinguish yourself from the
crowd if you wanted to survive as a business.
Once we'd wrapped up at the stable, Geese turned to us and made an
abrupt announcement. "All right then, folks! I know where I'm headed next,
so I guess this is goodbye!"
"Huh? You're leaving already?" That was a little surprising. I'd been
expecting him to tag along to the inn with us, at least.
"What's the matter, boss? You gonna miss me?"
"Well, yeah. Of course." I knew Geese was just teasing, but I
responded honestly. We hadn't known each other very long, but he definitely
wasn't a bad guy. A traveling companion you got along with was a valuable
thing on long journeys like this. He'd made my life a lot less stressful for a
while.
Not to mention, with him gone, our meals were going to be a lot less
flavorful from now on. That seriously sucked.
"Aw, don't be blue, boss. We'll probably run into each other around
town one of these days, you know?" With a small shrug, Geese reached down
and patted me on the head. But as he turned to leave, Eris blocked his path.
"Listen up, Geese!" She'd assumed her trademark pose—arms folded,
chin jutting into the air. "You'd better teach me how to cook next time, got
it?"
"The answer's still no, little lady. Talk about persistent…" Scratching
the back of his head, Geese slipped past Eris, then glanced over at Ruijerd.
"Hey, you take care of yourself too, chief!"
"Good luck to you as well. Don't get up to too much mischief, all
right?"
"Yeah, I hear you."
With a little wave, Geese finally walked off into the crowd. Talk about
a casual goodbye. You never would have known we'd spent two whole
months on the road together.
"Oh, right. One last thing, boss!" Just before he was about to disappear
from view, the familiar monkey face turned back toward me for a moment.
"Don't forget to stop by the Adventurers' Guild soon, okay?"
"…Hm? Uh, sure!" We'd be going to the guild eventually, since we'd
need to earn some money. But why was he bringing that up now?
I didn't get the chance to ask any follow-up questions. As soon as he
heard my reply, Geese disappeared into the crowd.
***
Our immediate priority at the moment was finding an inn. This was
always our first order of business whenever we reached a new city.
Most of the inns in Millishion seemed to be located some distance
away from the main avenues, so we ended up wandering through side streets
for a while until we found a little cluster of them. After a quick look around, I
settled on a place called Dawn's Light Inn. The place wasn't too close to the
city's main streets, but it was a good distance away from the slums. The area
seemed safe enough. It offered all the amenities I was looking for, and
seemed to be priced to attract C- or B-ranked adventurers. The main
downside was that it didn't seem to get much sun, but I could live with that.
Once we had our room, the next step was to unpack and get ourselves
organized, after which we'd head out to visit the town's most important
locations—particularly the local Guild. If there was any time, we'd engage in
some idle sightseeing, then head back to our inn for a team meeting. That was
our standard routine at this point, at any rate.
"Couldn't we have stayed at a cheaper place?" asked Eris, looking
around the inn quizzically.
I had to admit, she did have a point, especially since I was always
lecturing her and Ruijerd about being careful with our money. At the moment, however, we had some financial breathing room. We'd been paid
well for the three months we spent on guard duty in Doldia, and the
beastfolk's head warrior, Gyes, had also given us a nice chunk of change.
Those funds added up to a bit more than seven Millis gold coins. We'd have
to earn more money here eventually, but in the short term, we could afford a
few modest luxuries.
"It can't hurt to upgrade every once in a while, right?" Sometimes it's
nice to sleep in a bed that's actually soft.
A quick glance over at Eris suggested she wasn't entirely convinced. I
went ahead and opened the door to our room anyway.
It was a neat, tidy little space. I appreciated that they'd already
provided us with a table and chairs in the far corner. The door had a
functional lock, and the windows came with shutters. It wasn't quite
comparable to the business hotels back in Japan, but by the standards of this
world, this was definitely on the nicer side.
Now that we'd reached our room, we had a few things to take care of.
First, our equipment needed its regular maintenance. Second, we
needed to take stock of our expendable supplies and make note of anything
we were running low on. Then it was on to drying out the beds, washing the
sheets, and a bit of general sweeping and cleaning. This was all totally
routine for the three of us by now, so we got to work without exchanging
words.
By the time we finished up, the sun was setting and it was getting dark
outside. This made sense, since we'd only reached Millishion in the early
afternoon. Still, we weren't going to have time to stop by the Guild today
after all…not that it really mattered too much.
After a quick dinner at the bar next to the inn, the three of us went right
back up to our room. Once we'd settled down on the floor in a circle, I
cleared my throat and got things underway.
"All right, I hereby call this Dead End team meeting to order. This is
our first meeting since we reached the capital of Millis, everyone! Let's make
it one to remember!"
I had to actually say "Applause, please," and smack my hands together
a few times before Eris and Ruijerd hesitantly followed suit. Honestly. Those two never failed to disappoint.
"Now then… We've finally made it this far, folks. That's a real
accomplishment."
There was some real emotion in my voice as I said those words. It had
been a long, hard slog getting to this point. We'd spent more than a year on
the Demon Continent, and a good four months in the Great Forest. Now, at
long last, we'd reached the region of this world where humankind resided.
The most dangerous part of our trip was behind us now. From here on out,
the roads would be well-maintained, and the terrain mostly nice and level.
Compared to what we'd been through previously, it should be a total
cakewalk.
Of course, in terms of sheer distance, we still had a very long journey
ahead of us. The distance between Asura and Millis was roughly one-fourth
of the planet's circumference. No matter how nice the roads were, we weren't
going to manage that in a week. In fact, we probably had another solid year
of travel ahead of us.
Given that, our biggest long-term problem would probably be financial
in nature. "For the moment, I'm thinking we should stick around in this city
for a while to save up some money."
"Why?" asked Eris, furrowing her brow.
It was a reasonable question. I tried to answer as clearly as I could.
"Well, we've made it through the Demon Continent and the Great Forest just
fine, but things tend to be much pricier in human territory."
I thought back to the market research I'd conducted on our way over
here. I never got the chance to poke around in Zant Port, but I still
remembered what most things went for in various parts of the Demon
Continent and in the small town we stopped at past the Blue Wyrm
mountains. Pretty much everything across the board was more expensive in
Millis and the Kingdom of Asura. This inn's nightly rate would have been
completely mind-boggling by the standards of the Demon Continent.
Humankind were a greedy bunch, evidently. We cared much more
about money than any of the other races did.
"The value of Millis currency is very high. Only Asuran coins are
worth more, as far as I know. That does mean everything is expensive here, but it also means that jobs at the local Guild will pay very well. Instead of
stopping for a week at every town like we did on the Demon Continent, I
think it's more efficient for us to stay here for about a month and save up lots
of cash all at once."
Once we had a nice pile of valuable Millis coins in our pockets, the rest
of the journey would go much more smoothly. They'd go a long way toward
getting us through the southern regions of the Central Continent.
"For one thing, we don't know how much they'll charge a Superd for
passage on the boat to the Central Continent, right?" I said.
Eris grimaced at the word "boat." Our previous sea voyage was a
miserable memory for her. I felt very differently, of course. My recollections
of comforting her while she was seasick continued to be a source of great
pleasure.
"All things considered, I think we should focus on earning money in
Millishion for a while, then head straight for the Kingdom of Asura. We
might not be able to do much about improving the reputation of the Superd
for a while, though… Is that all right with you, Ruijerd?"
"Of course," Ruijerd replied, nodding slightly.
I hadn't really expected him to object. At this point, I was helping out
with that because I wanted to.
Personally, I would have been happy to settle down here for a while
and devote some real effort to changing the public's opinion of his people.
Six months or a year of diligent work in a major city like this could have a
far-reaching impact.
That said, we'd already spent a year and a half just making it this far. I
didn't want to drag out this marathon of a journey even longer than
necessary. I mean, I'd been "missing" for eighteen months now, right? Paul
and Zenith were probably worried sick.
Wonder what they're up to right now… Oh, whoops. I never got
around to sending them a letter, did I?
I kept meaning to do that, but events were constantly conspiring to
distract me. It must have slipped my mind half a dozen times by now. Well,
no time like the present…
"Okay then. Let's make tomorrow an off day, shall we?"
This wasn't a new concept for us. I'd announced "off days" several
times in the past. At first, it was out of concern for Eris, but at some point, I
started calling them primarily for my own sake. The girl never showed any
signs of fatigue, and Ruijerd was the toughest man I knew. I was definitely
the weakling of this party.
Of course, I was much stronger than I'd ever been in my previous life.
I couldn't hold a candle to these two, but I was on the level of a typical
adventurer, at least. Physical exhaustion wasn't usually an issue.
Mental exhaustion, on the other hand? That was a different story. For
one thing, I still had some hang-ups about killing living things. The more we
went around slaughtering monsters, the more stress built up inside me.
I wasn't calling this particular "off day" out of fatigue, though. I just
wanted to make sure I didn't forget about writing that letter again. If we spent
tomorrow gathering information, checking out the Guild job list, and dealing
with all the other things on our to-do list, it was going to slip my mind yet
again. This time, I was going to take a day and finally get this taken care of.
"Are you feeling poorly again, Rudeus?"
"No, this one's a little different. I need to take some time to write a
letter."
"A letter?"
I nodded at Eris. "We should let everyone back home know that we're
okay, right?"
"Hmm…well, all right. I guess I'll leave that to you, then."
"Yeah. I'll take care of it."
Tomorrow, I was finally going to get this done. I'd take my time, think
back to my days in Buena Village, and write to both Paul and Sylphie.
Back when he shipped me off to serve as Eris' tutor, Paul warned me
not to send him any letters…but under these circumstances, surely he
wouldn't mind.
The odds of a letter reaching them weren't that good, of course. Back
when Roxy and I were corresponding between Asura and Shirone, it felt like maybe one in every seven letters we sent actually got through, so we always
had to send out multiple copies of the same message. I'd have to do the same
this time as well.
"What will the two of you be doing, by the way?" I asked.
Eris replied promptly and energetically. "I'm going to go slay some
Goblins!"
"Goblins?"
Wait, wait. Goblins? Are these the Goblins I'm familiar with? Like…
yellow-green guys, maybe half the size of a human, with the crude clubs? The
ones that always feature prominently in fantasy-themed porn games?
"Yep. I overhead someone saying they've got lots of them popping up
around here. That's exactly the sort of thing adventurers should be dealing
with, right?" Eris replied cheerfully.
To be perfectly honest, I'd heard a bit about them on our journey. In
this world, Goblins were basically thought of as a kind of vermin. They
reproduced rapidly and caused all sorts of trouble for people. They were
intelligent enough to communicate verbally, so they might technically be
classified as demonkind, but the vast majority of them lived like wild
animals. So when their numbers started getting out of hand, they'd typically
be exterminated.
"All right then. Ruijerd, can you go along with her and—"
"Oh, come on! I can handle a few Goblins on my own!" Eris
interrupted indignantly. The look on her face suggested she was more than a
little offended.
What was I supposed to do here?
Eris was a very competent fighter. And Goblins were E-ranked
monsters—not exactly a challenging foe. They didn't live on the Demon
Continent, so I'd never actually seen one, but from what I'd heard, even a
child who'd learned some basic swordplay could handle them, no sweat.
Maybe it would be slightly overprotective to have her take our
bodyguard along. After all, the girl could handle herself just fine against even
B-ranked monsters…but still. When a girl adventurer gets beaten by a
Goblin, that's an instant sex-slave bad end, right? I didn't know that much about the Goblins of this world, but that was definitely their whole deal back
in mine. And I mean, if I was the lucky Goblin who managed to knock Eris
unconscious, I'd certainly enjoy myself. Wouldn't anyone? Assuming they
were a little green monster, of course? I totally would. Just hypothetically.
If something that terrible happened to Eris the moment I took my eyes
off her, I'd never be able to face Ghislaine or Philip ever again…
"It's all right, Rudeus," said Ruijerd, snapping me out of my reverie.
"Let her handle this one alone."
That was unusual. Normally, he stayed out of these sorts of arguments.
For the last year and a half, Ruijerd had been giving Eris lessons on how to
fight all sorts of different monsters and enemies. His educational methods
were a little too obscure for me to follow, but she'd clearly learned a great
deal from him. If he was convinced she could do this, it was probably going
to be all right.
"Okay then. Don't get careless out there just because they're weak,
Eris."
"Yeah, I know!"
"Make sure you're well-prepared before you head out, too."
"Of course!"
"If things get dicey, just turn tail and run, all right?"
"Right, right! Okay!"
"And if worse comes to worst, just grab the little creep by the hand and
scream 'This Goblin's a molester!' at the top of your—"
"Oh, enough already! I can deal with exterminating some Goblins,
Rudeus!"
Whoops. Now I'd gone and made her mad.
To be honest, I was still a little anxious about this, but I'd just have to
put my faith in the judgment of our veteran warrior. "In that case, I'll say no
more. Good luck out there, Eris."
"Thanks!" she said, nodding in satisfaction. "Don't worry, I've got
this!"
"How about you, Ruijerd? What will you be up to tomorrow?"
"I think I'll go say hello to an acquaintance of mine."
That had to be the first time I'd ever heard him use the word
acquaintance. "You don't say? I didn't know you…had any of those,
actually."
"Well, of course I do."
From what I knew of his backstory, Ruijerd had been wandering the
wilderness all by his lonesome for quite some time…but after five hundred
years of that, I guess he'd probably run into a few people just by chance. It
seemed a little strange that one of those people would be living all the way
out here in Millishion. Then again, this was a huge city, so maybe it made
sense statistically.
"What kind of person are they?"
"A warrior."
Ah. Probably someone he rescued in the wilds of the Demon Continent
back in the day or something, huh? Well, one way or another, I wasn't about
to pry. I wasn't Ruijerd's father and didn't feel the need to interrogate him on
who he was hanging out with in his free time.
***
The next morning, Eris and Ruijerd headed out on their respective
errands, and I went out into town to buy paper, pens, and ink. I figured I
could take the chance to wander around the open-air stalls for a while until I
had a decent sense for what most things cost in Millis.
As it turned out, food was actually a good bit cheaper than it was on
the Demon Continent. Naturally, the selection was also much, much better.
There was plenty of fresh meat and fish available, and they even had a nice
range of vegetables.
The biggest single surprise was definitely the eggs, though. There were
lots of them, they were all freshly laid, and they were incredibly cheap. I'd
seen eggs for sale a few times in the Demon Continent, but those were laid by
monsters rather than birds. The idea was to make them hatch, let the baby
creature imprint on you, and then train it as you liked. Naturally, nobody ate
those things. They were way too expensive to turn into an omelet.
Chickens were a thing in this world, by the way. There had been a few
people who raised them back in Buena Village, and from the looks of things,
poultry was a major industry in Millis as well.
All of a sudden, I was dying to eat egg on rice again. I know, I know…pretty basic stuff. But c'mon! It's a nutritionally complete meal all in itself!
Sadly, while I had plenty of eggs available to me at the moment, there
didn't seem to be any rice or soy sauce to go with them. Bread was
apparently the cornerstone of the Millis diet, just like it was in Asura.
Rice did exist in this world, even if it wasn't for sale in the market
here. It was the staple food in the northern and eastern regions of the Central
Continent, and Roxy once mentioned that it was available in the Kingdom of
Shirone as well. They mostly used it as the base for something like fried rice
or paella, with lots of meat, vegetables, and seafood. Unfortunately, it
sounded like they didn't do poultry farming in Shirone, so eggs were
supposedly a rare commodity. Maybe the climate wasn't suitable for raising
chickens.
As for soy sauce, I'd never seen anything like it in this world. I once
noticed something that looked a lot like a soybean while paging through a
dictionary of plants, but it seemed possible that nobody had tried fermenting
them and making them into sauce yet.
No, no. Can't let myself get pessimistic! There were eggs and rice here,
right? In that case, there had to be soy sauce out there somewhere, too. I just
needed to look hard enough.
Someday, I'd collect all the ingredients and make my dream come true.
Even if the eggs were a bit unsanitary, detoxification magic could handle a
little food poisoning just fine.
Once I'd finished up with my quick survey of the local market and
purchased a basic stationery set, I started to make my way back toward the
inn while trying to figure out exactly what to put in this letter.
This was going to be the first time I'd ever written to Paul or Sylphie.
Should I start with my years in the Boreas household…? No, the important
thing was to let them know I was safe. Better to begin with our teleportation
to the Demon Continent.
Come to think of it, I had a lot to tell them about. I'd started traveling
with a legendary Superd warrior, met the Great Demon Empress, and even
spent three whole months in a beastfolk village.
Hmm. Were they even going to believe any of that? I'd tell them the truth either way, of course. But it seemed unlikely that
anyone back home would buy my story about receiving a magical Demon
Eye from Kishirika Kishirisu herself.
Speaking of beastfolk… It'd be nice to know if Ghislaine was all right.
She'd presumably been whisked off to some random corner of the globe, too.
Assuming she didn't get dropped in the middle of a volcano or something, I
had to think she was safe. The woman was a force of nature, after all.
How many other people were teleported, anyway? The wall of light
came from the Citadel of Roa, so it seemed possible everyone in the Boreas
estate had suffered the same fate as Eris and me. Hmm. That would be Philip,
Sauros, Hilda, Alphonse the butler…and all the maids, to boot. I felt like Old
Man Sauros could bellow his way through life just fine no matter where he
ended up, but still…
"Yeah, now I've got myself worried…"
Murmuring to myself, I turned onto a narrow side street. Millishion
had quite a few of these, as it turned out. The city layout looked neat and
clean at a distance, but as old buildings were knocked down and replaced,
dingy little alleys like this tended to open up between them.
Of course, everything was still aligned on a grid, so you didn't have to
worry about getting lost in some winding maze. That was why I'd decided to
take a different route back to the inn. It couldn't hurt to explore the city's
streets a bit. If I got lucky, I might stumble across some charming little
lover's lane or something. Our redhead had something of a violent
personality, but it seemed like she was capable of appreciating a bit of beauty
now and then. And if we stayed in this city a whole month, we'd probably
have time for a "date" or two. I could earn myself a few bonus affection
points if I found some nice spots to take her.
Just as I was getting lost in thought, I noticed a group of five or so men
moving quickly toward me from the other side of the alley. They didn't look
like adventurers, at a glance, but more like common street punks. Their
outfits seemed intended to intimidate. Just a bunch of rowdy kids, probably.
Still, it was kind of rude to spread themselves across a cramped little
alleyway like this. The polite pedestrian always left room for someone
heading the other way. A kid like me didn't need that much space, true, but at
this rate we were going to run into each other. They really ought to be approaching me single file and averting their eyes out of—
"Move it, kid!"
I instantly pressed myself against the alley wall.
Don't get the wrong idea, now. I just wanted to avoid any senseless
squabbling. I mean, they seemed to be in a very big hurry! And I wasn't. It's
not like I got out of their way because they looked kind of scary or anything.
Really, I promise! I ain't scared of no delinquents! Cross my heart and swear
to die.
Think about it, anyway. You can't judge a book by its cover, right?
They did look like a bunch of street punks, but for all I knew one of them was
actually some famous master swordsman.
If I'd gotten over-confident and objected to their rudeness, I might
have found myself getting sliced to pieces by the Nobleman of Fury, or
something. I mean, this was a world where a little girl on the verge of
starving in the street could turn out to be a Great Demon Empress, right? No
reason to get in a fight over nothing.
That was my initial conclusion, at least. But as they shoved past me, I
noticed that two guys in the middle of the group were carrying a burlap sack.
And there was a small hand sticking out of it. It seemed like they were
carrying off a kid—inside a bag, no less.
Again with the kidnappers?
This world had an ample supply of those, if nothing else. Criminals
were always snatching up children every chance they got. It wasn't a regional
issue, either; it happened everywhere, from the Kingdom of Asura to the
Demon Continent, the Great Forest, and the Holy Country of Millis.
From what Geese told me, kidnapping tended to be a very profitable
line of work. The world was mostly at peace right now, with the exception of
a few minor conflicts here and there. A few slaves did trickle onto the market
from the central and northern regions of the Central Continent, but that was
about it. And many, many people wanted slaves. That was particularly true of
the richer countries like Millis and Asura, where the wealthy upper classes
were constantly looking to buy people. Basically, the supply just wasn't large
enough to meet demand. Kidnapping victims fetched high prices on the
market, and as long as this was true, the issue was never going to go away. To eliminate the practice entirely, you'd apparently have to start a massive
war or two.
In any case…what now?
Given the number of men, we were probably talking about a
premeditated crime. It wouldn't be surprising if the kid in that bag was the
son or daughter of someone relatively prominent in these parts.
To be honest, I didn't really want to get mixed up in this. The last time
I rescued children from a gang of kidnappers, I ended up being taken for one
of the criminals and tossed into a jail cell. And that was only a few months
ago, so the memory was still painfully fresh.
Was I going to just leave the kid to his fate, then?
No, no. Of course not. There'd always be kidnappers out there, to be
sure. And this was bringing back some unpleasant memories. But none of
that justified looking the other way.
The first rule of team Dead End was "Never abandon a child in peril."
And the second rule of team Dead End was "Never, ever abandon a child in
peril."
Dead End was a team of good guys. We stood steadfast in the face of
evil; we rescued children every chance we got. And little by little, we spread
the good word about Ruijerd and the Superd.
I turned back and quietly followed the five men with the burlap sack.
***
My sneaking skills had apparently leveled up at some point. I guess
following Eris and company around in Doldia was good practice. The
kidnappers reached and entered their destination, a nondescript warehouse,
without so much as a glance in my direction. Pretty sloppy bunch. They
obviously needed to improve their sense of smell, for one thing.
The warehouse in question was located in a quiet corner of the
Adventurers' District, tucked away even further from the crowds than the inn
we were staying at. You couldn't see this place from the street; the only way to reach it was by squeezing through a narrow alleyway. There was no way a
horse-drawn carriage could get to it. It wouldn't even be possible to carry
anything bulky out. I wondered why the hell anyone would put a storage
facility in such an inaccessible location. The warehouse had probably been
built some time before the buildings that now surrounded it. Sometimes the
city planners can really screw you over, huh?
Not that it really mattered. Once I felt confident that the group wasn't
just stopping by, I moved around to the back of the building and used earth
magic to float off the ground, which allowed me to slip into the building
through a relatively high window. I lowered myself to the floor, crept over to
a jumbled stack of wooden boxes, hid inside one, then cautiously peered out
to get the lay of the land.
The five kidnappers were standing around on the other side of the
dimly lit warehouse, talking things over. From what I could gather, they had
lots of friends drinking in the bar next door, and somebody needed to go
inform them that the "job" was taken care of.
I had two basic options at this point. I could try to take these five out
before they brought the whole gang over here, or I could stay put, get a
careful look at their buddies' faces, and just sneak out with the kid when I got
the chance. The latter approach sounded much more appealing, so I decided
to settle into my box and get comfy.
What was in this thing, anyway? Thanks to the poor lighting, I hadn't
really gotten a good look at its contents. Whatever they were, they were
definitely made of cloth. Too small to be shirts or pants, though. And for
some reason, lying in a pile of them made me feel oddly…tranquil.
I reached out and took one into my hand. The shape and texture of it
was familiar—a carefully sewn piece of fabric with some definite depth and
three distinct holes. In one particular section, the cloth was twice as thick; I
thought I could sense a tinge of powerful mystic energy when I touched that
bit.
"Whoa! Hold on, these are panties!"
"Who's there?!"
O-oh crap, they heard me! Damn it… I never expected them to lay such
a devilish trap!
"What the hell? Is there someone in the boxes?"
"Show yourself!"
"Hey, go tell the boss! We need everyone over here!"
Well, this definitely wasn't good. While I sat around, they were already
calling in the cavalry. It was clearly time for a change in plans. I'd just have
to grab the kid now and make a quick getaway, right? Seemed like the best
option. Wait, no…they'd see my face.
Ah, what was I thinking? I had a perfectly suitable mask right on hand.
Woooo! I'm a burning hunk of ecstasy, baby!
Just kidding.
For a moment, I paused to consider stripping off my robe to better hide
my identity, but then I remembered I wasn't even wearing it. Didn't have my
staff, either. I'd just been on a shopping trip, after all.
All right then. Let's roll!
"Whoa!"
"H-he's wearing panties on his head, man…"
"What a freak…"
The men were momentarily dumbfounded by my sudden, dramatic
appearance. I took the opportunity to launch into a monologue. "Hear me,
greedy miscreants! How dare you tear innocent children from their families?
Shame on you! Shame! People call this…kidnapping!"
The audience didn't seem to appreciate my Rom Stol impression.
Maybe they weren't up on their old mecha anime.
"Wh-who the hell are you supposed to be?"
"I am Ruijerd of Dead End!"
"What? Dead End?"
Oh crap! I messed up! Introducing myself that way was pure habit by
now, so the words just slipped out of my mouth. This was one case where I
really shouldn't have said anything.
Sorry, Ruijerd! As of today, you're a creepy weirdo who rescues children while wearing panties on your head! Don't worry, though. I will
save the kid, no matter what the cost!
"Curse you, foul kidnappers! Thanks to you, an innocent man has just
been badly slandered! Your villainy won't go unpunished!"
"Look, kid, go play hero somewhere else! We ain't—"
"I didn't come here to talk, you fool! Sunrise Attaaack!"
"Gurgh!"
I cut the conversation short by firing off a Stone Cannon spell. It was
always nice to get a few preemptive attacks in. This was the same approach
I'd used to rescue the Great Demon Empress from that dirty old pedo back in
Wind Port, actually. "Take that! And that!"
"Guh!"
"Blagh!"
In the blink of an eye, I knocked out the four men who'd remained in
the warehouse. Once they were all down, I hurried over to check up on their
captive. "Are you all right, young man?! Hmm. Looks like he's
unconscious…"
I felt like I'd seen this boy somewhere before. There was
something…really familiar about him, actually. Couldn't quite put my finger
on it, though. Weird.
Well, whatever. This was no time to be thinking about it. I needed to
get out of here before the rest of the gang arrived… But even as that thought
ran through my head, a whole crowd of men had appeared in the warehouse
doorway.
"Whoa! What the hell? He took down all four of them!"
"The kid knows how to fight! Get the captain over here, pronto!"
"He's been drinkin' a lot today, you know?"
"He's still one hell of a fighter, even when he's plastered!"
Two men turned and ran off, presumably to get their "captain." That
still left more than ten people for me to deal with, and now I had to assume
more reinforcements would be coming. This was not good. This was not good at all. Maybe I really should
have looked the other way…or waited until tomorrow, when I could have
convinced Ruijerd to help me out. Charging in solo was definitely a mistake.
At this point, my only option was to take down the entire gang.
"What kind of a freak is this guy? He's wearing panties on his head…"
"Wait, was he here to steal our underwear?!"
"Oh god! Is he some kind of sex criminal?!"
Now that I looked more closely, there were actually a few women in
the group as well. Sorry, Ruijerd. Seriously…I owe you one.
With one final apology to the man I'd so deeply wronged, I turned my
focus to the task at hand. Fortunately, these thugs were nothing special. They
kept rushing at me in a straight line, so it was easy enough to fire off a Stone
Cannon before they got too close. They weren't quick enough to dodge my
magic, and a single hit was enough to knock most of them unconscious. None
of them were even armed. There were no magicians to worry about, either.
Everything was going better than expected so far.
"D-damn, we can't even get close…"
"What the hell is with this kid?! Is he using some sort of magic item?!"
"What's taking the captain so long?!"
By the time I'd knocked out maybe half of them, the others started
getting visibly agitated. Maybe I'd be able to blast my way out of here
without too much trouble after all.
"The captain will be here soon, everyone! We just have to hold out
until then!"
Well, so much for that.
Two women had appeared in the warehouse doorway. One of them was
a warrior clad in a suit of bikini armor; the other was a robed magician. It
hadn't taken very long for this wave of reinforcements to arrive, but I guess
that wasn't surprising. Their whole gang was apparently drinking just next
door.
The warrior woman was showing off a lot of skin, for some reason. I
hadn't seen a single fighter on the Demon Continent dressed nearly so skimpily. She stood out even more in comparison to the magician, who was
wearing a perfectly ordinary outfit.
Damn! Who is this woman?! I can't…tear…my eyes…away!
"I'll keep him busy, Shierra! Cover me!"
"Right!"
The bikini lady drew the sword at her waist and rushed toward me.
Meanwhile, the robed magician in the rear took up her staff and…oh, crap.
Bikini lady's breasts were swaying like crazy every time she took a step.
Don't let them jiggle that vigorously, girl! They're going to break free!
It was honestly bizarre. If nothing else, you'd expect bikini armor to
keep your chest firmly in place so it wouldn't cause you any problems in
battle. Her whole outfit seemed to serve no practical purpose whatsoever.
Oh man, just look at those things go! Right…left…right! They were
drawing closer, swaying back and forth… For a moment, they drooped down,
then bounced back up toward my—
"Hiyaaaa!"
All of a sudden, I noticed that bikini lady was swinging her sword
directly at my face.
"Gaah!" Tumbling reflexively backward, I managed to avoid the strike
by a hair's breadth. That was close! Damn it. This girl fights dirty!
Was she wearing that thing as a deliberate distraction?!
At this point, I noticed a faint voice mumbling something from across
the room.
"—converge where thou wilt and issue forth a single pure stream
thereof—"
Oh crap. That was a magic incantation! Someone was about to shoot a
Waterball at me!
Thinking fast, I extended my hand in the general direction of the
magician. My spell of choice this time was Stone Wall. The best way to ward
off a water-based magic spell was to get some nice, absorbent sand and dirt in
its way.
As I rushed to cast the spell, I quickly glanced over and found the magician pointing her staff straight at me, just about to launch her attack.
In the very instant she fired off her Waterball, my Stone Wall rose up
to meet it. The high-speed projectile burst against it with an ear-splitting
bang, rather than a splash. Water sprayed in every direction all across the
warehouse.
"What?! What w-was that?!"
From the sound of things, I'd gotten the magician pretty flustered, so I
turned my attention back to the bikini lady.
"Ah…!"
The force from her attack had left her breasts swinging wildly through
the air. It looked they were on the verge of breaking free. I could almost…see
them…!
"Hyaaaaaa!"
Pulled back to reality at the last moment by her piercing battle cry, I
managed to roll to safety again. This time, I put some more distance between
us before jumping to my feet.
The bikini lady glared at me, her sword still against the floor where it
had struck. "Stop scuttling around like a cockroach, you little pervert!" As
she spoke, she raised her weapon again, holding it steady above waist level.
She seemed to have given up on overwhelming me with speed and
aggression. Instead, she began to close the distance between us slowly but
steadily.
Following her lead, I inched backward to… Ooh. When she held her
sword out like that, her upper arms pushed her bazongas together. That was
some impressive cleavage…
Argh! Come on! Stop falling into her trap, stupid!
I couldn't keep my eyes on her damn sword. How was I supposed to
fight in this condition?
Neither the warrior nor her magician buddy were especially talented, to
be honest. But at this rate, I was never going to take them down. God help me
if she were to suffer a critical wardrobe malfunction. I'd probably be cut to
pieces instantly. How had they learned of my one and only weakness?! Who sold me
out, damn it?!
Okay, calm down.
I was just distracting myself here, simple as that. This wasn't some
deliberate tactic on her part. The question was…what was I going to do about
it? If I wanted to turn this into a fair fight, I needed to get her to cover her
chest somehow. And her pleasantly plump behind as well, for that matter.
How could I manipulate her into putting some actual clothes on?
Maybe I could say something to try to get her all embarrassed… Hmm,
no. If she'd chosen this outfit deliberately, that approach might backfire.
"Gasp!"
Of course! Now I had it!
Are you familiar with the story of the north wind and the sun,
everyone?
Once upon a time, the north wind and the sun competed to see which
of them could compel a certain traveler to undress. The north wind tried to
blow off her clothes with cold, piercing gusts, but the traveler simply piled on
extra layers of clothing instead. The sun, however, simply warmed her up
until she started taking off her clothes of her own volition.
In other words, if I made things nice and hot and here, she'd totally
strip off that—
No, no, no! That's exactly what we don't want, remember?!
Right. Cold. Cold was we needed here.
"You've got nowhere left to run," called the woman warrior.
I glanced behind me and realized I'd backed myself all the way against
the warehouse wall. It wasn't a problem, though. I'd already worked out my
strategy. Without a word, I held out both my palms toward my skimpily
attired assailant.
"Icicle Field."
The moment I channeled my magical energy through my right hand,
bitterly cold air rushed out of nowhere to fill the warehouse. The temperature
dropped by thirty degrees centigrade almost instantaneously. All of a sudden, it was like we were standing inside a refrigerator.
"What the—?!"
I could already see goosebumps on the bikini lady's upper arms, but I
wasn't done yet. This time, I let my magic energy course into my left hand.
"Blast."
A great gust of wind sent the woman flying backward. By the time
she'd stopped tumbling, I'd sent her all the way to the entrance of the
warehouse. I was thinking I'd call this little combination spell "Polar Blast."
"Haa-choo!"
The air in here was so frigid now that I felt like I might catch a cold
myself, but I'd achieved what I set out to do perfectly. Shivering and
sneezing, the bikini-armor woman frantically gestured to her friends for a
coat. I was out of the woods now. Once those breasts were hidden from view,
there was no way she'd get the better of me. All that was left now was to
knock everybody senseless and make my getaway…
"I'm here, people! Sorry to keep you waiting!"
…or so I thought, until my newest challenger barged in.
The man in the doorway looked familiar. Something about his face
actually made me feel kind of…nostalgic. I'd seen this guy somewhere
before, right? But where? It wasn't coming to me.
"Tch. This little punk's made a real nuisance of himself, huh? Hic…
Stay back, everyone! No reason to gang up on some snot-nosed kid… I'll
take him down personally."
The man was obviously confident in his skills, but it also looked like
he might be drunk. Even from a distance, I could see him swaying unsteadily,
and his face was tinged red.
Seriously, though. The more I looked at this guy, the more familiar he
seemed. With the brown hair and the slightly thuggish face, he kind of
resembled Paul… Come to think of it, he sounded a lot like him, too. Yeah. If
you put Paul on a starvation diet and didn't let him get a good night's sleep
for a couple months, he'd probably end up looking something like this. It
made me kind of hesitant to launch any serious attacks at the guy. But of course, there was no way my father would actually be hanging
around with a bunch of kidnappers in Millis, of all places.
"Hey, you! You think you can just waltz in here and knock my people
around, huh? Well, I'm gonna make you live to regret it!"
The man stepped in front of his group, spat a few fiery words in my
direction and drew a pair of swords from their sheaths. Anyone capable of
dual-wielding competently had to be a master swordsman. From his stance
alone, I got the distinct feeling he was on a totally different level from the
bikini-armor lady. Was Stone Cannon going to be enough to deal with him?
Hmm… I don't really want to use anything that might kill the guy,
though…
Perhaps sensing my hesitation, the man abruptly charged forward.
"Wah…!"
He'd taken me a bit off-guard, but I managed to fire a belated Stone
Cannon spell. The man reacted instantly, turning the sword in his right hand
diagonally to deflect the projectile.
"Water God Style, huh?!"
"That's not all I've got to offer, buddy!"
He was almost on top of me now. Acting on sheer reflex, I set off a
shockwave and sent myself flying backward through the air.
"Hah!"
"Whoa!"
I activated my Eye of Foresight to peek into the future to help me
dodge his follow-up attacks. The man was quick with his swords, but his
footwork seemed a bit sloppy. It was probably related to all the alcohol in his
system. Maybe I could do this, after all.
"Tch! He moves just like the kid, dammit… Vierra! Shierra! Come
lend me a hand!"
Just like that, the bikini-armor lady and her magician friend stepped
forward again. What happened to taking me down by yourself, huh? What
kind of a man are you, anyway?!
The woman warrior, now all covered in an overcoat, circled around to my side. And the magician was already starting to chant another incantation.
This was definitely not good. The man's attacks were fierce and persistent,
and I had my hands full just dodging them all.
Fortunately, I still had a trick or two up my sleeves.
"Wah!"
"Ugh!"
Using the vocal magic of the beastfolk, I stopped the man in his tracks
for just an instant, giving me time to send him flying with a quick
shockwave.
"Stone Cannon!"
Keeping one eye on the man as he tumbled backward, I fired off a
quick offensive spell at the female magician. Next, just as the bikini-armor
lady was swinging her sword at me, I used my Eye of Foresight to evade the
strike and land a solid counter-punch.
The magician had been focusing on her incantation. My spell hit her
head-on and knocked her unconscious. The woman warrior staggered
backward, but she wasn't out of the fight yet, judging by the fury in her eyes.
And of course by now, the man was coming right back at me again.
"Shierra! …You'll pay for that one, you little shit!"
Just as he took a step forward, I transformed the floor underneath him
into a tiny patch of muddy swampland. His foot plunged straight into it, and
he tumbled clumsily forward onto the floor.
"Captain!"
For a moment, the woman warrior's eyes were on him instead of me.
Bad idea. Without a word, I fired off another Stone Cannon straight at her.
"Ah!"
Two down, one to go.
"Vierra! God damn it!"
Shoving one of his swords back into its sheath, the man stuck the other
one in his mouth. I activated my Eye of Foresight.
The man runs at me on all fours. Was this guy a dog or what?
I fired off multiple Stone Cannon spells to keep him away and backed
up to put more distance between us. Unfortunately, this warehouse wasn't
particularly large. There was no easy way to keep him from closing the gap.
"Raaaah!"
Twisting his body strangely, the man leapt off the ground. He
somehow managed to draw the sword at his hip even as he pounced at me
like an animal. His attacks came fast and furious, from stances so odd I never
knew what to expect.
The man grabs the sword in his mouth with his left hand and swings it
underhand.
What a bizarre move.
This guy was defying my expectations at every turn. Without the Eye
of Foresight, I never would have managed to avoid that last one. As it was,
his blade grazed the tip of my nose. The cut tingled painfully.
"…"
My heart was pounding in my chest. I wasn't trying to kill this man,
but he had every intention of taking my life. For some reason, that hadn't
really sunk in until this moment. It should have been obvious from the start.
If I didn't give this everything I had, I wasn't going to make it out of this
warehouse alive.
I grit my teeth and lowered myself into a near-crouch. I thought back to
my training with Ruijerd and Eris. This man's fierce, beastlike style was
probably close to the way Ruijerd attacked when he was playing for keeps,
but his movements weren't as quick or flawless as Ruijerd's. The weirdness
factor was his main advantage. I could do this.
Next time he pounced at me, I'd land a counter-punch and—
At that point, I realized the man had stopped moving.
A moment later, I noticed that the pair of panties I'd been wearing on
my head were now lying on the warehouse floor.
Crap, this wasn't good. They'd see my face…
"Is that…you, Rudy?"
Rudy?
There was only one man who called me by that name.
And that voice…wasn't the hoarse rasp of some angry drunkard
anymore. Suddenly, it sounded like a very familiar one.
"…Father?"
***
In the years since I'd last seen him, Paul Greyrat had evidently
undergone something of a transformation.
His face was gaunt; there were bags under his eyes and stubble on his
cheeks. His hair was unkempt, and his breath reeked of booze. In basically
every respect, my father looked like a total mess. The difference from the
man that I remembered was…dramatic, to say the least.