Chapter 5 - Doubting Lull

She appeared calm, but the slight shiver of her fingers betrayed her façade.

𝘏𝘰𝘰𝘰𝘰𝘰…

I took a deep breath and told her about my past life.

Life before I was ever born.

I described how people born there can 'rule' over mana. I described my past experiences as detailed as I possibly can to be more believable.

Contrary to what many would think, I am but a mere foot soldier in my past life.

I wasn't a 'main character' or a hero who can go against demon lords; I was normal...

For the most part.

"Aren't mages quite rare? Then, why are you just a foot soldier?"

I heard a barking laugh, but from how Beverly's oblivious expression, I realized it was just inside my head.

I frowned but quickly turned deadpan. She saw it, however, for she frowned as well.

𝘚𝘪𝘨𝘩

"Well, I hid my rule over mana," I revealed, I don't feel like explaining all this at all. She looked bewildered,

"Don't they have detectors or scanning stuff?"

I thought over what I should say.

"Well, I can't be detected in the first place since I can discard my mana"

She looked confused, so I continued, and looked her in the eyes, explaining as slowly as possible.

"My way of gaining mana is.. quite different. I devour mana from other things or beings, kinda like a vampire if you think about it. So unlike normal mages, I can use up all my mana and not unconsciously gather the ones around me. I can fully control my input of mana, in simpler terms."

She looked perturbed, "You mean you k-kill people for mana?"

"I did not."

'𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴'

"I mainly got my reserves from plants and animals, or sometimes artifacts. I did not kill a single human being.

'𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴.. 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦, 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵.'

'could you please stop the side comments!?'

I made a mental shout, annoyed by his antics.

"I see."

"Yes."

"Then, how are you able to gain mana now?"

"I am still not sure.. well the most probable explanation is how I died.." She looked a bit fidgety.. I wonder why..

'𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭'

She's barely a teen, but you're probably right.

"But that doesn't matter anymore, I would appreciate it if you keep it a secret from mom and dad."

"They don't know?"

"Of course not, would they be okay knowing they gave birth to a child who's almost the same age as them?"

"O-oh.. yea.."

I merely shrugged.

"Let's go, I'll try to limit my mana, but we probably shouldn't stay here any longer. The mana has been thickened here."

"Then wouldn't it go thinner if you leave?"

I noticed that she was more curious than usual. I mean it's magic, who wouldn't be interested?

"No, it stays the same if I activated it again since I didn't consume it" I gave her a tight-lipped smile as we prepared to go out.

"All right, I'll wait for you in the car."

'The garage is getting kinda messy' I looked around at the thrashed tools and crumpled paper sketches, and there are metal scraps on one side just messily laying there.

'I really need a clean up'

I started my red buga'ee and stomped on the gas to make vroom vroom noises. A while later, she came out of the house. I opened the door for her.

"Let's go to mom's for lunch, I'm not feeling a restaurant today."

"Nn"

But before I drove the car, I had an idea.

I turned to her with a smirk.

"Say, would you want to fly instead?"

She widened her eyes but didn't seem afraid of the idea.

"Don't worry, I'll hold you tight." I gave her a wolfish grin.

"WAAAAH!!!"

She was screaming, but it was kinda muffled by the sound of the wind. It's ten times louder than riding a car with the windows open after all.

"Oh."

I put up a veil of mana to hear what she's saying.

"Damn you! People would probably think we're aliens!."

"We're invisible, you idiot."

We were probably going as fast as a jet fighter. I can go faster, but she'd probably throw up and stain my clothes.

While my body can take the G force, she can't, so I clad her in a thick layer of mana just in case.

We traveled through the clouds with relative ease.

I spotted a dark wooden mansion, slightly smaller than mine, with a wide garden and gravel pathways.

I released my control as we landed right in front of the gate.

𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘨

"𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗶𝘀..? 𝗢𝗵, 𝗞𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗻! 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗿𝗽𝗵𝗮𝗻."

I heard my dad's deep cheery voice over the intercom. How was I born with a dad who has the same humor as me?

'𝘏𝘶𝘮𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯'

"Oh, shut up old man! We're hungry, open up!"

"Rude brat! I'll kill you." We both chuckled.

We went in, and I should say, my garden can't even compare to this.

It was lush, full of plants, but not overgrown. A variety of colors can be seen, making my eyes squint from the bright colors.

"Where's mom?"

"Backyard, she discovered a new plant growing there, and she's probably doing some research. You know the usual."

While we were talking, Beverly went ahead of us and went to the backyard. "What's wrong with that kid? Did she just wake up?"

Is he referring to the messy hair...? Oops, I forgot to protect her from the landing! Huehuahehe!

"Yes." I blurted out a lie.

I made my way into the backyard, gleefully trotting along the gravel path, the smell of freshly cut grass invaded my senses.

"Hey, mom." I gave a gentle smile, and she gave one back—it made me relax my unconsciously tense shoulders.

"Kolin? How have you been?" She asked me, but she went back to what she was doing; She seems to be digging up a plant.

She was wearing a leather apron, a striking contrast to her bright white blonde hair; I can't help but be comfortable in her presence, she's even glowing under the sunlight!

"I'm doing great."

She smiled at me, "Can you hand that spade over there?"

"Nn, here"

I handed it over to her, and she continued digging a shallow hole.

A pleasant silence filled the air.

I raised my eyebrow, "What are you working on? A new plant?"

"Mhm, I still don't know what it is though." She grunted as she stood up.

I gave it a curious look before inviting her inside; the sun is getting hotter.

'A beer would be nice…'

I shook my head though, 'Not here.'

"Where'd Beverly go?"

"Fufu, she went inside a while ago." I wondered why she laughed, but I ultimately ignored it.

"All right, go wash your hands, I'll serve lunch in a minute." She made a gesture—practically shooing me off.

"Sure." I'm used though, it's funny how I was born to people who almost have the same personality as me.

'Or you know? You adapted it. You were practically emotionless before..'

'I wouldn't say so..' my eyes twinkled as I reminisced over my past life.

Unlike my kitchen, my parents have this bistro style furnitures and design, and you can almost smell the fine wood.. almost like cinnamon.

I squinted my eyes as my nose picked up the fragrance of various spices meshing together.

'It's probably the food, not the kitchen itself.' I thought to myself.

𝘎𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘦

I heard my stomach wake up. "Curry..?"

"Yes, how did you know?" My mom seemed surprised as she walked into the dining room, with a relatively big pot in hand.

I pointed at my nose and gave her a confident smirk.

Not long after, Bevie and dad walked in. They seem to be discussing something; they're laughing hard.

'Damn.. I feel left out. Why are they all laughing?'

Pshhh! Who cares, I'm starving.

I gobbled the food, practically wolfing down the whole pot.

"Fuwaaah.. SO GOOD!" My sister let out a satisfied glee as she patted her belly.

"I kinda want more though."

"You want more? You ate half the pot!" She suddenly turned to me though, her expression of disbelief is apparent.

My face twitched.

"And YOU took all the rice! What is curry without rice?!"

"Then cooks some! It's only fair, considering you didn't even left me a piece of chicken thigh!"

This kid..

"You're overacting! I di—"

"All right, you two stop."

My mom gave me a gentle smile, but I can't help but feel ominous as I looked at her. I made eye contact with my dad, 'control her!'

But this man averted his eyes!

I'll poke your eyes out later, old man!

𝘛𝘤𝘩!

'What a coward.'

'𝘚𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶'

I ignored them and went to the living room. I may feel pissed off by that kid over there, but I felt happy looking at them, they've been with me since I found myself in this unfamiliar place after all.

'Hmmm… a mana barrier around the house would be great.'

'𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘦𝘵, 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘴.'

'Well…'

𝘚𝘪𝘨𝘩

I'll do that later; I still need to finish this thing..

I combed mg hair with my hand, trying to get rid of the headache caused by stress.

There is no use overthinking about my choices now that Bevie knows my secret. I'll just do what I've been doing for the past years.

I turned the TV on as I considered my future plans.

'𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬.'

'But I will. I don't wanna stop until I am sure that everything is fine. It keeps nagging at me, I know there is more to this than just some fantasy.'

I know was lucky enough to be given a second life, but along with it, is doubt that lingers in my very soul.

I squinted my eyes, and clenched my jaw.

'And I hate that.'