I rub Sarina's stomach, talking to our little one in her tummy that is now starting to swell. She was now at eighteen weeks and we've held off on finding out the sex of the baby. I talk to the baby everyday and I tell it, "Boy or girl, I will love you just the same. Just do me a favor, if you're a girl, you do your best to come out looking just a beautiful as your momma."
Sarina laughs, "And if you're a boy, you come out looking like your daddy." She rubs her little bump that is only noticeable when she lifts her shirt.
I swear she's glowing with so much love and affection as she cradles the life we created inside of her, if I didn't know any better I would think she was an angel.
The serene moment is broken when my phone starts ringing. "Let's see who it is this time?" I grimace, picking up the phone to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Dr, Huller?"
"Yes, speaking." I reply, turning on the recorder for this conversation.
"I'm Doctor Vanderburg from the state medical board. I'm calling to inform you that your date for your hearing will be a month from now on February twentieth at nine in the morning. We will be contacting your lawyer as well to notify him and ensure you have all witnesses and evidence you need to defend yourself on the matter. The Board has decided to renew your license, but you are still under the rules and guidelines of your current probation until the final ruling has been made."
"I understand sir. You said my hearing is on the twentieth of February at nine in the morning. Will this be at the medical review building?" I inquire to make sure.
"Yes, that's correct. Did you have any questions, Doctor Huller?"
"No sir, not at this moment. Thank you."
We hang up and I sigh.
"So they've scheduled your hearing? Then that's a good thing right? They were not able to find any dirt on you?" Sarina asks, trying to look on the bright side.
I shrug, "I would hope so. My last meeting with the lawyer was eventful. He seemed extremely excited about a few things but he was speaking so fast that I didn't catch what it was he was excited about. That was the meeting right before your doctors visit."
"Well that's a good thing right? If he was excited, then that means something is going to be heavily in your favor." Sarina remarks and I nod agreeing with her.
"I should take a shower before we head to the doctor. I don't know if they're going to examine me and I don't like the thought of not being fresh if they do." Sarina says, moving to get up out of the bed and pausing before touching her stomach. "Wow. You're really moving around in there right now."
Her giggles have me pressing my hand to her stomach trying to feel our child moving around. Her face falls though seeing my excitement.
"Oh Brian, it's still too early for you to feel the baby moving. It'll be at least another month before you'll be able to feel him."
"Him? You think he's a boy?" I ask her.
"I'm not sure. Sometimes yes, but we'll find out soon enough." She says, rubbing her tummy. "I think they're excited because we're going to find out today. They're joining in on our excitement."
The thought of our child already excited with us, warms my heart as I climb out of bed to join her getting ready. I would not be going to work until this afternoon because of her appointments. I was not willing to miss a single one. I'd even planned to have the first month after the baby was born to stay at home and help out while Sarina recovered and we could both bond with the baby.
"So Sarina, what names have you been swirling around in your head?" I ask her as I step out of the shower with her.
She shrugs, "I don't know. I like Vincent for a boy and for a girl I was playing with Eliana. What were you thinking?"
I played with the names in my head a little bit and grinned at her through our reflections in the mirror. "I love them both. How about Vincent David if it's a boy and Eliana Lirael? We would have met each other eventually through either one of them and ...." I trail off as Sarina's bottom lip starts to tremble.
"Babe?" I turn to her and she falls into me, holding me tightly.
"I love you so much." She sniffles out before she starts to shake with tears soaking my chest.
"I love you too. Why are you crying?" I ask her, wrapping my arms around her to comfort her.
"Because... I was going to suggest those for middle names too!" She sobs harder and I can't help the broad smile that spreads over my face.
I scoff softly, "Oh Sarina." I shake my head and place a hand onto her lower belly.
"Hey, I thought I told you not to give your momma a hard time?" I scold playfully. "So who do you want to be? Eliana Lirael?" I wait a moment as Sarina wipes her eyes with her hand as she smiles down at me. "Or Vincent David?" I ask and Sarina's eyes widen.
"They're moving around again, I think. I feel these little fluttering movements." Sarina smiles at me and I just wrap my other arm tighter around her, keeping my hand on her stomach. My heart swelling with emotions that I don't think I could ever describe their depths make my eyes blur.
"I love you so much, Sarina. I'm so grateful you've come into my life."
Her eyes fill with tears and she kisses me sweetly before pulling away. "We have to finish getting ready or we will be late for the appointment." She rushes away and starts finding clothes to wear. I suppress the laugh wanting to break free of my chest because she's right. I was just caught up in the beautiful moment.
When we arrive at the doctors office, we're both on the edge of our seat, waiting to find out what it is. I was becoming excited thinking of a beautiful little girl looking just like her, that I could dance with her standing on my toes or watching princess movies with her and Sarina. I know a lot of people would call me a pussy or try to question how much of a man I am because of those thoughts, but I yearn for that future with Sarina. I think it would be beautiful.
At the same time though, having a little boy would be great too. One I could roll around and get dirty with in the yard, teach him how to fish, camp, how to identify poison ivy... I could do that with a girl too though. Either way I was blessed.
Sarina kept messaging someone on her phone and it had me curious.
"Who are you talking to, honey?" I nudge her shoulder with my own as she's tapping away at her screen.
"Lirael. She's asking me if we're free after the appointment. I just told her it depends on how long we're here."
"Why does she want us to come over?" I inquire, curious.
Sarina shows me on the screen and I see that it has to do with the private investigator that has been following our major pain in the ass.
Marcus... That piece of shit better hope I don't ever catch him alone. He's caused enough problems in our lives. I should have broke his fucking jaw when I had the chance. I take a deep breath and let it out as calmly as possible.
"We should be done in here and still have some time to get there. I hope it's good news for next month. That would be great." I pull out my phone and check the tracking app for our little annoying fly and see he's still driving around where we had lost him about three miles away. He was another thing that I was ready to confront and beat the shit out of. Enough was enough.
"Sarina?" A nurse calls out. "Sarina McNeal."
We both stand and head into the back where she gets her blood pressure and weight checked, asks if anything has changed or if she has any concerns. Once inside the exam room, we sat there, her on the exam table, me in the extra chair, my knee bouncing anxiously, trying to forget about the crap with Marcus. I was trying to focus on the fact that we are about to find out the sex of our child.
"If you bounce your knee any harder, the doctor might think something is wrong with you."
My head swivels from the spot on the wall I was staring at to Sarina. Her brows furrow in concern but her light smile is a bit more anxious than it should be.
"I'm sorry, Sarina. My mind was trying not to think of certain people who've been getting under the skin making our lives difficult when they should not be." I give her a forced smile and stand up to wrap my arms around her.
The door opens and her doctor walks in. "Hey you two. Everything alright?" She asks pausing, feeling the heaviness in the room.
Sarina gives a breathy laugh, "Yes, just some issues outside of our control right now causing some frustrations. Nothing is wrong with us."
The doctor nods, "Well that's reassuring. So everything is good?" She asks stepping forward and motioning for Sarina to lay back and she begins her exam before checking the ultrasound machine is on and ready.
"So are we ready to find out the sex this visit?" The doctor asks us, as she spreads the gel over Sarina's abdomen.