I ended up sleeping during my lunch instead of eating, because I desperately needed it. I had to cut my last session short because I felt my eye lids getting heavy and I didn't want to fall asleep on them. No amount of coffee was helping, it was only making my heart beat erratically and my body to be twitchy. When I woke up, I felt a little better but not by much. Looking at my schedule, to see who was coming so I could prepare, I saw that it was suddenly clear. For the rest of the day.
My office door opens and my secretary comes in her arms crossed as she takes a stand. "I gave your patients the option of seeing Dr. Thompson, or rescheduling. Go home and get some sleep. I don't know what's going on but it's not going to get any better until you've caught back up on sleep."
My jaw drops at her.
"I don't want to hear any of it, Dr. Huller. I care about you, like you were my son or nephew, and know you're not okay. Now, please, go home, sleep and I'll see you tomorrow." She says before exiting my office. I groan, gathering my stuff feeling like my mother is the one talking to me instead of my secretary. Before I leave, I stop and bend over and give her a peck on the forehead.
"See you tomorrow, mother." I roll my eyes and leave, seeing my secretary giving me the classical mom scowl before I close the door.
When I get back to the house, I see the bouquet of flowers still on the table from last night. I suddenly want to throw them away. Instead, I take a shower and crawl into bed and pass out.
I'm awoken by Sarina, looking concerned at me. "Brian? How long have you been home?"
I sit up and look at the clock and see it's a little after six. "Since two. Apparently, my secretary decided to pull the mom card and sent me home to get some sleep. She could tell something was wrong other than just needing sleep." I flop back down on the bed, covering my eyes with the back of my arm.
"Alright. Well, I'll wake you when dinner is done." Sarina says, crisply, rising from the edge of the bed and leaving the room.
I sit there and breathe a few times before getting up to use the restroom. I wash my face and head out to the kitchen where Sarina is washing vegetables in the sink. I'm about to ask her if she wants help, when I hear her sniffle and she wipes her face with the back of her arm.
Now that I've had some sleep, I'm not as mad. I think about last night and realize, I was an asshole last night. I let my own emotions control me and I needed to apologize. I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, making her jump.
"I'm sorry for being an asshole." I whisper in to her hair right behind her ear.
She seems to gather herself, breathing in deeply and releasing it slowly. "You're allowed to be one every now and then. I guess I deserved some of it." She lets out a heavy breath.
"Can I make it up to you?" I ask her.
"Yes, please finish cutting the onions. They really got to me a moment ago." She points towards the half cut up onion on the chopping board.
She wasn't crying because of me... she was crying because of the onion?
"Sure thing." I say, motioning her to make some space so I can wash my hands. I help her make dinner and we talk some. "I would appreciate it if yesterday's dinner doesn't become a habit, at least, the not informing me part. Oh, and the part about getting mad at me when you didn't bother to get in touch with me either. I'm guessing you never checked the card by your flowers over there on the table by the way."
Sarina pauses what she's doing and frowns at me, "The card? What card?" She walks over to the flowers and looks at them. "There's no card, Brian."
I point to the little white square sticking out from under the vase. She pulls it out and reads out loud.
-Sarina, Just because I love you.-
She flips the card over.
-At Club-
I shrug, "I didn't realize you would not see it there."
She places the card down on the table and heads back to the stove. "Is that why you were so .... punishing last night? Because you had left the note and everything else?"
I nod, finishing up the side dish and placing it on the plates. "Partly. You survived it though."
She flashes a look my way, her nose rising into the air a little bit and sniffs. "Yeah, I survived."
We sit down for a silent dinner, eventually, she began to speak to me again. As we wash the dishes she lets me know she's going to hop in the shower. I nod as I finish drying the dishes off as she goes to the shower. Once done I go to the bedroom, feeling tired again. I laying back as Sarina gets out of the shower and I watch as she begins to dry off. I watch as she slides the towel over her wet, supple skin, feeling my cock begin come to life. I watch as she bends over to dry off her legs and my heart stops and my dick stops it's ascent.
I'm up out of bed and rush to the bathroom, making Sarina jump and turn. "Jees Brian! What's up with you scaring the shit out of me lately?"
I pull her towards me and turn her around to look at the purple and red bruise that's on her right ass cheek, exactly where I smacked her ass last night. She see's where I'm looking and rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, it's fine. I survived right?" She scoffs.
Guilt overwhelms me as I close my eyes.
I am a fucking piece of shit. I didn't realize I had spanked her that hard last night. I was wrong.
I get down on my knees, holding onto her by her hips, leaning my head against her body.
"Sarina...." I start, pained and furious at myself, "I am so sorry. I am a piece of shit. I didn't mean to, I didn't realize..." My chest tightens, I can't believe I did this to her. I, in my anger put bruises on her. That's a step away from abuse.
"Whoa! Whoa! Brian, No.. No.. It's okay..." She tries to pull me up, but I keep my head and body down low, groveling at her feet.
"I ..." I start turning my eyes up to her, "I understand if you change your mind about us.."
She smacks my face and she's not gentle about it. "Stop this right now!" She glowers down at me, shaking in shock and hurt.
"You are not an abuser, Brian! Seriously? You think I would change my mind about a bruise on my ass when I've given you a fucking concussion?! Really?!" She throws her hands up in the air, exasperated. She brings a hand to massage her brow, before returning her gaze back down to me.
"Get up off the floor, now... please." She demands, the please sounding more like an afterthought. I do as she says and enter the bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed.
I know I've left red marks on her, yeah. Hickies, hell yeah, but bruises?
"Brian, I swear on David's remains, if you don't stop beating yourself up over this right now... " Sarina steps out from the bathroom, hair only towel dried, pointing a finger at me. " I will give you another concussion until you forget."
I look at her silently, still feeling guilty about it.
"You want to feel guilty about something? Yes, my ass has a bruise on it. Yes, it hurt, but you know what hurt more?!" She says through gritted teeth, "The fact you pushed me away last night after punishing me, which I took willingly. You let me go to bed alone after being punished. You gave me no aftercare. I've dealt with feeling alone, hurt, abandoned and fearful all day. Then you want to say some shit like that to me?! Feed the fears! It seems like you want to give yourself an easy way out by leaving the option to leave, to me."
Fuck, I didn't think about that at all. I was just being ... selfish. Only thinking about myself.
Angry tears form in her eyes, "Please... please... don't ...." a racking sob escapes her mouth, full of pain, "don't break me."
My mind is reeling. How did we get to this point so quickly? This all escalated to this point dramatically, all because, we let emotions control us, instead of communicating.
I open my arms for her and she comes to them letting me pull her into my embrace. "I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean it like that. I just ... I never wanted to hurt you like that. I've seen a lot of women enter in with bruises that slowly turned in to worse things. I just didn't think that I was capable of even going down that same path that could lead to possible abuse. I was just angry and tired and let my emotions control me. I'm sorry. That's what is killing me right now. However, you're right. I did leave you alone and gave you no reassurance. I'm sorry. I still want to be with you. I just let my thoughts escape my mouth without thinking again." I kiss her forehead, holding her close in comfort.
"I always want to be with you."