Spending some time with Jack helped. We didn't talk about what had happened, we just talked about bad food, good food and just jumped to subjects from there. He stood up and apologized, saying he needed to get back to his patients, but I understood.
"Thanks Jack. I'll see you around." I wave him off and take a walk around the hospital, making sure I give Sarina enough time to handle her emotions. I stopped at the gift shop and purchased a bouquet that was available. I thought she might like them, an attempt to lift her mood.
I made my way to the room where the nurse was checking Sarina's vitals as she nibbled on the breakfast that was on a tray for her. The nurse saw the flowers and smiled at me.
"Oh, how sweet. You are a lucky woman, this man was pacing like crazy all night outside the OR and has been by your side practically this whole time. I wish my husband would have spent this much time with me when I was in the hospital, and we've been married for ten years." She rolls her eyes and finishes up before exiting.
I set the flowers down on the rolling dresser top in the room, taking a seat next to her again.
"Thank you for the flowers." Sarina says hoarsely, her voice croaking from crying earlier.
"You're welcome baby." I'm just glad she's talking to me and not pushing me away.
"The doctor is supposed to come in soon to talk to me about what happened and check my drainage catheter and talk to me about what I'm supposed to do now." She sets her cutlery down and I reach for her hand.
"Whatever it is, I'm right here with you." I kiss her hand and check how much she ate. It wasn't much, but she did have surgery so I could imagine not having much of an appetite. "Are you done, sweetheart?"
Nodding, she takes the juice and drinks it. "Yes, I just want the juice, everything else has no taste."
"I'll make sure to bring you some hot sauce from the cafeteria." I let her know, "It's the only way it's going to have any flavor."
Just then the doctor came into the room. He checked her incisions and the drainage tube. He asked her a few questions before letting her know what had happened. And I found out, she'd put off the appointment for three months because of everything else going on with the remodel and sale of the apartments. The pregnancy was between six and ten weeks along and had attached to the ampulla portion of the fallopian tube and that section was now removed. He explained that she could still have children, later, after she's healed and ready to. He said he would remove the drainage tube after another twelve hours and then a nurse would redo her bandages on her laparoscopy incisions and remove her catheter.
Two days later, I was allowed to take her back home, but she was to take it easy for at least another week. No heavy lifting for the rest of the month and no sex until she was cleared by her OB/GYN and a new implant was in place. I rescheduled a few of my patients appointments so I could take her to her appointments, but Lirael was kind enough to come over and spend time with her on other days since she was still on maternity leave.
I could tell she was depressed, even as her pain and movement became a little less each day, you could see it in her eyes. When I was at home, I tried to give her a sense of normality, just sitting back watching tv, ordering out for dinner or making it for her. I reminded her often, I love her and would hold her close to me.
When she would let me.
Even going to sleep, holding her hand didn't last long. She was distant, snappy, and didn't say much. I know she was recovering, I know she's hurting, but she's also not leaving me much to try and help her emotionally. Her emotions are worse than mine, but I almost lost her that night. She could have bled to death if I hadn't suggested her going to the hospital. This had been traumatic for me too.
I wake in the middle of the night, the day before her OB/GYN visit with a raging hard on. It hurts so bad and it doesn't help that I'm spooning Sarina, her ass rubbing it as she stirs. I suck in a harsh breath through my teeth as she makes a little moan that makes me want to bust my load already.
"Mmmm.... Brian...." Sarina says in a delirious and sultry tone, "Mmmm... I want you.."
My hands roam over her breasts, her ass still rubbing against me, as I lay kisses along her neckline.
"I want you too baby... So much it hurts..." I groan as she grinds harder against me.
"Please Brian...?" She moves one of my hands down in between her legs, making me rub her clit. I have not touched her this way since before her surgery and I hesitate not knowing if she's ready for that.
"Sarina... You know we can't not yet." I remind her, even though I wanted to make love to her so badly.
She whines and whimpers, "Please? Brian... I need you."
I rub her little nub in slow circles, "Tell me if anything hurts at anytime baby." I decide to see if just an orgasm causes her pain. I could take care of myself in the shower if I need to.
"No not your hands... I need you.. inside of me." She sounds so weak and powerless, and I feel my resolve start to wane. I'm hurting so bad...
"Sarina.... I .. don't want to hurt you baby..." I groan as she snakes a hand between us gripping me in her hand.
"Please... Brian..." She works her shorts to the side, still gripping me in her hand, lining me up with her entry.
Hot, wet, velvety flesh rubs against the head of my cock, destroying what little resolve I had left. I push forward slowly, paying close attention to her bodies reactions. I don't go deep, it's just my head that presses against her entrance.
"Oh god... Brian...." She moans, pulling me closer to her with her hand wrapped around the back of my neck. We kiss, slow, just like how I'm entering her and rubbing her clit. Her breathing picks up, her body tensing.
"Any pain, baby?" I ask her speeding my fingers up, but keeping my depth and speed for my cock.
"No.." She gasps, "More. I need more..." She moans, pressing herself back towards me.
I gently give her a little more watching her face and feeling her body.
"Yes.." She moans, "More, baby.." She demands, "Give it all to me."
So I do. I begin giving it to her with out a care, her cries and sounds keeping me going. She was so wet, so wet... I pulled out of her to roll her onto her back, plunging back into her, hearing a gasping cry leave her lips. I couldn't help myself, it felt so good, I had to go deep. My body demanded it.
She kept crying out my name, until I came. As I pulled back, her eyes were closed and I looked down to find blood. Lots of blood all over me and her.
Horrified, I look up at Sarina and her eyes are open, but they're lifeless.
"Sarina?!" I cry out, "No... no... baby... no... SARINA?!" I still get no answer and despair washes over me as I start clutching her body covered in her blood.
Jolting up into a sitting position, I look around and find Sarina staring at me wide eyed.
"Oh my god." I cry out, reaching out to touch her and make sure she's real. She's alive. It was just a nightmare. I wrap my arms around her and can't help the tears that flow down my face.
"Are you okay, Brian? What kind of nightmare did you have?" She asks, running her hands over my back to soothe me.
It was just a nightmare... It wasn't real. She's still here with me. I push myself up from her arms and take a few ragged breaths.
"I dreamt I had lost you." I struggle to get out while attempting to control my emotions.
"Oh baby. I'm still here." She runs her hand over my arm, "Don't worry it scared the shit out of me too. Thank you... by the way." She looks down at her lap, fidgeting with the edges of the blankets.
"For what, taking you to the hospital?" I ask.
She shakes her head, "For not being upset that I lost the baby..."
She thought I would be upset about that? I mean I am, but not at her. It's not her fault.
She starts again, "I'm sorry. I know you want a family later and I know you will be an amazing dad when we do decide to have one. I really didn't know I was pregnant..."
I stop her from saying anything further, taking her face in my palms and kiss her sweetly. "You don't need to apologize for that. EVER. AGAIN. It wasn't your fault and it wasn't mine either. There's nothing for you to worry about. Yes, I want us to have a family. However, it will happen when the time is right."
I kiss her again, "Besides, I want to see you walk down the aisle to me and make love to you every way I can on our honeymoon before you've got to worry about us having a baby. I know you still have things you want to do with your shop too. We still have time for all that." I kiss her again and press my forehead to hers. Restraining myself from kissing her more and causing myself to get more excited and turned on than I already am at the thought of that future. The memory of the dream flashes through my mind and has all that excitement immediately disappear.