Last night was different.
But in an amazing, connected way between Brian and I.
I did not ever think that anal could be so.... intimate... and enjoyable.
Remembering how he had me laying on my back, my hips propped up on pillows, allowing better access to me. Once he had removed the plug and his cock was lubed up, he had positioned himself, and I felt that all too familiar fear wash over me, making me close my eyes.
'Sarina, look at me.' Brian's voice was demanding but kind, so I did as he said. When our eyes met, he began playing with my clit with the bullet on low vibration. It wasn't long till I was the one urging him to enter me. He did it, very slowly, letting me set his pace, making me ask for more until he was in as far as he could go. Being able to watch his face, and watch him fuck me like that.... It was thrilling, hot, and made me feel vulnerable too.
However, true to his word, Brian showed me, how good he could make me feel. He proved to me that I had placed my trust in him well. Although, it's not something I'm going to want to do again anytime soon... I'm not adverse to doing again. I did enjoy the orgasm but I enjoyed our intimacy more.
It was a wonderful distraction from the rest of my emotions, ones I had to face today.
Alyssa and I had Amanda watching the twins while we went to the funeral home to set up the memorial and pick out an urn for his ashes. His ashes... funny how so much of a person has been reduced to ash that can fit into something so small as a coffee can. He used to fill a room with his spirit every he entered... Now, he takes up the same space as a coffee maker...
"Sarina? How do you like this one? We can put his picture on it and something personal?" Alyssa asks me quietly.
I snap out of my thoughts and look down at the catalog. It was a nice cedar box with personalization notes next to it. I nod and give her a weak smile, "That's fine, but I was thinking... Did David ever tell you about him wanting to be an astronaut?"
Alyssa nods, "Yes. Why?"
I point to one of the information posters on the wall where we were sitting, "We can send a part of him into space? He'd finally get to go in space." I give her a forced smile, waiting on her response.
"Okay." She says quietly. After a moment she turns teary eyes to the poster, "He'd love that. A part with us, a part among the stars. Thank you, Sarina. I don't think I would have thought of that if you were not here." She stares at the poster but isn't focused on it, "I really miss him."
Hot tears spill down my cheeks, reflecting the ones on Alyssa's face. We hold on to each others arms, our heads held together as we share in our grief. After a few minutes and a box of rough facial tissue that was on the table nearby, we collected ourselves enough to go and discuss with the director about the box we had chosen and sending a portion into space.
I let Alyssa purchase his boxed urn while I paid for his remains to be sent to space. It was the least I could do, considering he made my dreams of keeping my business a reality. I found out he'd left the majority of his money that was wrapped up in stocks to Alyssa and the babies, making sure they would be taken care of.
I took Alyssa home and found Amanda, passed out with the babies on the bed, with pillows and blankets wrapped around the edge so the babies couldn't wiggle off. Not that they were doing much of that yet. Not wanting to wake them, I quietly told Alyssa to go nap and took off.
I pulled up to Brian's office, thinking of stopping in and saying hi before lunch. I saw Dawn coming out of the office as I was walking up.
"Dawn?! Hi! How did it work out with the director for the part in the play?" I ask her.
Dawn beams at me, "Great, actually! That's why I was here. I just stopped by and gave Dr. Brian couple pairs of tickets for the opening Saturday night. I hope you guys will make it?"
"Of course, I'm so glad it worked out for you!"
Dawn grinned, "Thank you, your suggestion was perfect for the scene, the director loves it more now. Anyways, I've got to go. I'll see you on Saturday then!" She waves and heads to the parking lot while I go inside.
"Hello. How may I help you... Oh! Sarina!" Brian's secretary stands and comes around her desk and gives me a big hug. "I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not easy to lose a loved one. Would you like me to let him know you're here? He just had another patient walk in a minute ago."
"Yes, please. Thank you." I give her a sad smile, but take a seat in one of the waiting room chairs. I look around and realize, he purchased some of my art work to hang on the walls in here. That fact makes my stomach flutter with pride and joy.
A minute later, Brian comes out of his office and scans the room till he finds me. I stand and we meet in the middle of the room.
"Hey, is everything alright?" He asks looking over me in concern.
"Yes. We ordered a nice urn and we are sending a small portion to deep space too. I just thought I'd stop by and see if you were free for lunch." I offer.
"As soon as I'm done with my patient, who I need to get back to since everything is alright. But, yes, I'd love to have lunch with you. Give me about an forty five minutes." Brian kisses my forehead, and heads back into his office.
I take a seat in the waiting room, pick up a magazine and see if there's anything interesting to read in one. I thumb through them, before giving up and pulling out my phone. I'm checking my emails, sending replies to any that I'm able to and deleting all the junk. I look to the clock and still have thirty minutes to wait. So I step outside and call Art at the shop and talk to him about work orders and make sure he's not getting overwhelmed. He tells me not to worry and asks me how my trip went.
I chuckle, "He took me to Switzerland, Art! It was absolutely beautiful!" I look down at my hand with the ring on it more happiness blooming in my heart. "He proposed too." I say quietly.
"Oh? What did you say?" Art asks surprised.
"I thought no..." I give it a pause, listening to his sharp intake of breath, "..way I could say no. So I said, yes." I giggle.
Art lets out a heavy breath, "You scared me there for a second. Congratulations, Sarina. I'm happy for you. So when do you come back in? I want to see the piece he picked for you."
I sigh, "I'm not sure. I can stop in tomorrow and take care of the orders you may need filled, but I'm not ready to come back yet. I still think that he's going to call me up and ask me when I'm coming over and tell me to bring Brian." I take some deep breaths, fighting back the tears that want to break free.
"Take your time, Sarina. I can handle everything here at the shop. The girls can handle the work in the gallery and store front. We all know what you've been going through lately and since you've hired extra help, none of us have been feeling overworked. Take all the time you need, we will be here to keep this place from falling apart."
"Thank you, Art. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate all of you. You've all been awesome." I really mean it, starting to think about what I could do to show them my appreciation.
"No problem, Sarina. I need to get back to finishing up some stuff though, so I'll talk to you when you come around again, okay?"
"Alright. Bye Art." I hang up and head back into the waiting room. I sit down and out comes some one from Brian's office. I wait and a few minutes later out comes Brian.
"Ready?" Brian asks, offering his hand to me.
"Yes."
We head out and get some food together and take it back to his office to eat. He tells me about Dawn giving us tickets, asking who else we should give the tickets to. Lance and Lirael are a must, but we had one more set of tickets to give away.
"What about Amanda and Dass?" Brian shrugs, throwing out the suggestion.
"Yes, we could... I don't know if Amanda will want to leave Alyssa alone with the kids that long. She mentioned that with the loss of .... " I can't even say my brothers name without wanting to burst into tears, so I avoid it and take a deep breath, "she's worried about post partum in Alyssa."
Brian nods, "Yes, but that can happen regardless of other circumstances. I think Amanda could use a break herself. She's been keeping everyone together, taking care of the animals, house, and helping take care of the twins to boot."
Thinking about it, I have to agree with him, "You're right. When I took Alyssa back to the house earlier, Amanda was passed out with the twins. She has been running herself ragged... maybe their parents can come over to help out while Amanda is at the play."
Brian smiles warmly at me, "See? Maybe we should bring some dinner over to them tonight and ask her if she wants to go?"
"Sounds like a plan to me." I beam back at him.