My heart feels hollowed out when I awaken to Brian getting ready for work. At first, when my eyes opened, I wondered why my heart felt so heavy, then everything came washing over me.
David was gone. I was never going to hear his obnoxious laugh, see his goofy smile, or just hear him say, 'hey sis, hey sissy', none of his stupid jabs, like collecting space dust....
The tears came spilling out of my eyes at their own volition, accompanying a stifled sob that I try to muffle into my satin pillowcase. I guess it was still loud enough that Brian could hear it over the sound of the water from the shower. The next thing I knew, the bed dipped from the weight of Brian touching my shoulder.
"Sarina? Baby?"
I sit up, wiping my eyes, "I'm awake. It just hit me is all." I grab a tissue to wipe my nose as Brian looks at me in concern.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you? I can still move some appointments around." He places his hand on the one in my lap, but I shake my head.
"No, it's alright. I'll be as good as one can be. Seriously, Brian." I try to reassure him.
He resigns himself, pulling his hand away. "Okay, if you say so. Do you want to join me for a shower?"
I shake my head, "No, thank you baby. I want to stay in bed a little longer." I snuggle back into the bed under the covers and he just strokes my cheek for a moment.
"Have I ever told you I love you?" He suddenly asks.
I smile, "Yes? But you could always tell me again." I beat my lashes at him as he chuckles and bends over and gives me a kiss.
"I love you." He gives me another kiss on my forehead and then he goes and finishes his shower.
I lay there, watching him get dressed and ready, using the visual to distract my thoughts, even if it's only temporary. He catches me watching him and a smile spreads across his face.
"Are you enjoying the view?" He asks, straightening out his cream shirt sleeves to button the cuffs.
"I am. Can you blame me? You're a tall glass of water and I am thirsty..." I sit back up in bed and pull the covers back to try to entice him. I'm wearing my satin shorts and camisole that hug my body, showing off my assets.
Brian hisses through his teeth and looks at the clock. He chuckles and starts to roll up the cuffs of his sleeves to his elbows. "Are you now? Let's see if I can help you with quenching that need of yours."
He grabs my ankles and pulls me closer to the edge of the bed and pushes my knees up to my chest. He pulls my shorts to the side, sliding a finger over me, gathering my slick on his thumb. His face contorts into restraint, but he can't hide his flame of desire in his eyes. He presses his thumb forward into me, making me raise a brow and wiggle my hips.
He groans and moves his thumb up to my clit, as he works his cock out of his slacks. I tease him, lifting my shirt up slowly, before playing with my tits, rubbing and caressing them in large circles, pinching my nipples for him to watch. When his large cock smacks against my opening, I start, not expecting it to flop out like that.
"Fuck.. Sarina... I want to stay home just to satisfy you all day." Brian says thrusting his hips, so his cock rubs against my slit but not sliding in. "Watching you play with those beautiful tits of yours while you're dripping wet... You're such a good girl... It's like you read my mind sometimes..." He moans, letting the head of his cock enter me. He barely enters me, but does these quick little thrusts.
With his thumb on my clit, my hands on my tits, even just the tip was about to make cum. He must have seen it, because he pulls his cock back out and smacks it against my lips.
"Not yet, Sarina..."
I lift my hips up to urge him on, just as he goes to thrust forward. His cock puts pressure on my other hole.
"Oh!" I exclaim, shocked that it didn't hurt but... actually felt intriguing.
"Sorry, baby..." He readjusts his cock and presses it forward into my core. I bite my lip, eyes going wide as his cock stretches me out around him. "Mmmm.... That's better...."
My heart starts beating like crazy. I feel like I want him to slip out and hit my back door again... and the thought has me panting.
"Brian, take me fast...." I gasp, closing my eyes, feeling an orgasm coming on quicker than I could have thought. All while thinking about his cock entering my back door.
"Play with your clit, baby." He demands, placing his hands on top of my knees, holding them down, angling me better for his pounding he was about to give me. I start playing with it just as he starts speeding his thrusts up. With his hands hold my knees to my chests, and his cock thrusting into me like jackhammer, it was becoming harder to take a breath. He changed up his rhythm, letting me catch a breath. His cock slips out again and I lift my hips to meet him again knowing what I was doing.
His tip enters my back door, just enough that Brian knows it's the wrong hole.
"Shit. Are you okay baby?" He pauses, staying where he is.
I nod, panting, "Are you going to just sit there or move? I'm so close..." I whine.
He starts to pull back and I make a whine of disappointment. He stops and pushes forward putting his head back where it was. He groans in frustration as what's happening sinks in.
"Oh Sarina... Not right now..." He pulls back and reenters my pussy. "I promise... if you still want it later when I get home...." He gives me some vigorous thrusts making me cry out, "I'll do it when I have the time to do it right, baby." He moans as my body clamps down on him, turned on that he's going to give it to me later.
It's not long before he's thrusting like crazy into me, my body squirming as I come undone, crying out his name. He does a quick clean up as I take a shower. Before he leaves, though, he wraps his arms around my waist, and whispers huskily in my ear.
"Today is going to last forever, knowing you'll be here, aching for me to fill you in the one hole I've yet to enjoy... " He places a kiss on my neck, "You should prepare yourself today for tonight. Like I said, I want to do it right and take my time..." His words are making me wet again, weak in the knees, wishing he had time to bend me over and take me again. However, my nerve also drops a little.
"If I change my mind though..." I start.
"Then we won't do anything. I've told you already, Sarina. I will never do anything you don't allow me to do." He kisses me and steps away to grab his bag and coffee.
"How do I ... ready myself again?" I ask sheepishly, feeling the heat rise on my face.
Brian pauses, "I'll send you a link to a site that will explain it to you. Remember, we don't have to do anything you don't want to."
I smile shyly. "Just remember, it's only fair if you get something there too." I wink and he swallows hard.
"You're making it really hard to go to work, you know that?"
"GO!" I laugh, pushing him towards the door. "I love you." I kiss him again quickly and giggle heading to back to the bedroom.
It doesn't take long for me to receive the link from Brian. I start reading it and find out everything involved and flush from head to toe.
Enema? Anal douche?
I mean, I know that people did that, but where do I buy something like that? I look it up and find I can get it easily at any pharmacy.
I have my appointment with my therapist at one, so I could stop and pick one up on the way home to use before he gets home.
What if it hurts like it did with Marc though? I grimace, remembering the pain and crying out for him to please stop but he refused, until he'd cum. He had just rammed into me though, using just his spit as lube. I can trust Brian to do things right. I know if it hurts and I tell him, he'll stop...
My anxiety starts building, making me nervous. I take a breath, clearing my mind.
He will not make me do anything, I'm not up for. Besides, David will kick his ass if ...
Oh...
That's right...
My brothers gone. He's gone... I forgot.. how could I forget that so easily? I'm a horrible sister, I can't even remember my brothers no longer breathing. That his kids no longer have a dad, that he's gone. I'm so selfish. How could I be so selfish?
I stare at my reflection in the mirror and break down, begging for anyone listening to please bring David back. Please? I know I'm selfish, but his wife and kids need him too, so please? Let me wake up and this is all a horrible nightmare. Please?