Lirael made a picnic roast over a bed of potatoes, carrots, red onion and pears with balsamic dressing. It was delicious and extremely satisfying. Everyone had a second helping it was so good.
"Wow, Lirael, I've got to get this recipe from you." Sarina exclaims as we help put things away and clean up after dinner.
"I second that!" I quickly add my enthusiasm.
Lirael giggles, "Alright. I'll get it for you."
Me and Lance are bringing in boxes from the garage, containing lanterns and fake flowers that feel and look real to make for the centerpieces. When Lirael sits us down and explains the aesthetic she was going for, we all got to work.
Her gazebo in the far back of the yard was going to have a trail of lanterns leading up to it, and the lanterns would be hanging from the large oak tree out back too. They all had flameless candles in them for lighting, but Lance and I would be stringing lights all over the back yard and under the gazebo.
The door bell rings and Lirael jumps up, "That must be Kim and her husband."
Sure enough Kim and her husband, Jim, walk in with a bottle of wine.
I guess Lirael had not told her friend that she was expecting. I keep my thoughts to myself as we say hello and Sarina is introduced to them. With the arrival of another man, we quickly use the lights as an excuse to get away from the flower part. The girls were better at that anyways.
First, we pulled out the long strings of lighting, making sure how many we could string together and get started stringing up the gazebo to see how much we would need. to get it lit up while the sun was still up. The sun was almost down when we plugged the gazebo lights in and sat back and checked the lighting to see how the lights looked and took pictures to make sure you could see who was in the gazebo.
I tell them I'll be back needing to use the bathroom. I go through the garage to the downstairs hallway bathroom and not through the French doors. I enter and the girls are all talking, about something giggling. I use the restroom and come back out and catch Sarina talking.
"... no he came by and told me he was sorry about my brother. Apparently, he found out from a friend of his, whose family member is in the same nursing home."
I cock my head, listening, wondering who it was the stopped by.
Lirael asked a question that answered mine, "Are you going to tell Brian that Marcus came by your house earlier?"
Sarina is quiet and I take a few steps forward as I hear her say, "I don't know. I just don't know how he's going to handle hearing how he kissed me."
I stop in my tracks and turn going out through the garage. Lance and Jim are walking in talking when Lance see's my face.
"Brian? What's up?" Lance tells Jim to go inside with a hand gesture as he pulls me out front, "Seriously? Brian, what's wrong?"
I pace, upset, hurt, betrayed, trying to breathe, I crouch sticking my head between my knees to gather myself. I stand up, quickly saying, "I overheard the girls talking."
"Uh huh? They do that." Lance nods, not sure what's the matter.
"Marcus went to Sarina's today and they kissed! Lirael asked if she was going to tell me and she didn't sound like she was going to tell me!" I say through gritted teeth, wanting to go and beat the shit out of Marcus.
Lance grips my arms, "Calm down, man. Calm down. Maybe before you start getting upset, give her the opportunity to tell you? That doesn't excuse her kissing him. But, she's here with you, so obviously whatever happened she still chose you."
I pace still, working my arms free from his grasp, "I just don't know what to do right now, I'm pissed. I don't think I can stay here right now and not make it obvious to everyone that something is wrong."
Lance thinks for a moment. "I'll make your excuses. You had to go because one of your patients called talking about suicide. That should give you at least one or two hours to cool off right?"
I growl but nod my head, "Yeah, at least that."
"Okay. Go, calm down. Don't do anything stupid. Please." Lance says patting my arm, looking concerned.
"Okay." I got into my car, taking off, not sure where I should go. I just drove letting my mind take me wherever. My instinct took me to the club. When I thought about it a moment, I thought, why not go get a drink. I need one. I head inside not taking a contract, letting Jack know I was just there for a drink. He let me in, and I head upstairs to the bar. I could have entered through the back, but I decided against it.
Upon entering I see it's a busy night, a really busy night. I take a seat, Simon seeing me, but Dass ends up being the one to serve me.
"Thanks Dass." I tell her taking my drink and pouring it down my throat. "I need another drink please." I inform her as she looks at me concerned.
She pours it, but turns to Simon, "I need to take my fifteen, Simon."
Simon nods, taking another look at me as I down the glass she just poured.
She comes out around the bar and drags me to my private room. "Open it." She instructs me.
Knowing there's more alcohol in there I go ahead and open it. I walk in, going straight for my alcohol and pouring another. Dass takes the bottle and grabs my arm.
"Brian, what's wrong? You don't drink like this!" She asks releasing my arm and crosses her arms, bottle still in hand.
I sit down and take a shuddering breath, "I overheard a conversation between Sarina and Lirael just a bit ago. Apparently her ex came over to her house today and kissed her, she didn't plan on telling me about it either." I'm gripping the glass so hard in my hand it suddenly blasts apart in my hand.
"Fuck!" I hiss out as glass cuts and sticks out of my hand.
Dass wide eyed stares at the glass everywhere and then sees the blood. "Shit." She runs into the bathroom and comes back out with a towel wrapping my hand so it's not dripping blood anywhere. "Come on, Brian. The first aid kit is in Lance's office."
We exit the room, locking it, before I follow her to Lance's office and enter there.
"Come on let's wash our hands, if you can." She turns the water on waiting for it to get warm and washes her hands and pulls on some gloves to help me with my hand. After washing it off gently, she sets up some paper towels on the desk and tells me to sit down. She pulls the tweezers out of the medical kit and cleans every thing off with an alcohol wipe. She begins pulling out the pieces of glass, one by one.
"You did a number on your hand. I can understand why though. I'm surprised you came here though. Did you at least talk with Sarina?"
I shake my head, not wanting to believe she wouldn't tell me something like that. "I'm too angry right now. I needed to cool down."
Dass looks up at me, sits back and says pointedly, "So you overheard this and just took off and came here to start knocking back drinks like they were water, to 'cool down'?! That doesn't make a lick of sense. I don't think you're angry either, you're disappointed." She bends back over and starts picking out more glass, checking my palm meticulously.
"I am." I sat shaking my head. "Dass, I don't know what to do. I have fallen for this woman hard and knowing that her ex came over and she didn't tell me? To top it off, they kissed?!" I grip my hands, flinching from the sting of glass still stuck in one.
"Good job, dumbass. Now, open your hand so I can finish getting the glass out."
I open my hand and she looks for the glass. I point out the spots where I felt it, helping her out as she dabbed at the blood and pulled more glass out of my hand.
"I don't know Sarina well enough to make any assumptions, but I've met that Marcus guy a few times here now. I wouldn't put it past him to try to get back with her, considering the subs he keeps are ... not the cream of the crop. Honestly, you need to give her the opportunity to tell you. You overheard the conversation, so you didn't hear all of it. You might have missed some important information before or afterwards. I agree though, she does need to tell you and if she doesn't, that's not cool either." She looks up at the clock, grabs the antibacterial ointment and dabs some on my cuts. She then takes the gauze and wraps my hand so the cuts that were still bleeding were covered.
"I did the best I could during my break. I have got to get back to work. Please don't go back to your room to drink." She said removing the gloves and cleaning up the mess.
We exit the office after she locks it up and she pulls on my shirt. "Hey, I hope everything works out and this is just a stepping stone for you two." She gives me a hug, which I return before leaving out the back.
I get in the car not sure of where I should go. I feel defeated, deflated, like I just lost the ground from beneath my feet. I just drive around, going from one end of town to the other before heading back to Lances house. I pull up and Lance is outside waving bye to Kim and Jim who are backing out of the drive. Lance shakes his head before I even get out of the car and I know something isn't right here now.
I get out and ask, "Why are you shaking your head?"
Lance hands me my phone, "She tried calling you. She was worried about the situation and it was in the bathroom. Good thing she doesn't know your lock code for it."
Lance see's my wrapped hand and looks up at me, "What the fuck did you do to your hand?"
I look down at it and see the blood soaking the gauze. "I shattered a glass in my hand." I admit.
Lance sighs, "Okay, well are you calm enough to go inside now?"
I nod, not wanting to really talk right now.
He walks me inside and directs me to the bathroom, sitting me on the toilet lid. "Let's see your hand." he demands pulling out a first aid kit.
"It's fine, it's been taken care of." I mutter.
"Fine? You're bleeding through the gauze, it's not fine." Lance takes my hand and unwraps it, using the gauze to wipe my hand off, making me hiss as something moves in my hand.
"I think there's still a piece of glass in there." I warn him.
"Lance, honey? What are you doing in here? Brian!" Lirael exclaims seeing me with my hand all bloodied. "What the hell happened to your hand?!"
"What?!" Sarina's concerned voice comes from the hall and now I have everyone looking at me.
Sarina wiggles her way into the bath room to look at my hand. She goes to take it but I pull it back to me quickly. She's starts and pain flares in her eyes at my reaction.
"There's still some glass in it." I say quickly.
Lance grabs her by her shoulders, "I got the big baby, ladies. Go finish what you were doing, I got him. We'll be out in a minute." He sends them out, shooing them down the hall as I use my good hand to cover my face as I grimace.
He asks me quietly, "You didn't have to react like that."
"React like what?"
"Like her touch was poison." Lance whispers.
I shrug, "If the shoe fits at the moment."
Lance shakes his head, and finds the shard of glass still in my skin, he presses behind it, pushing it up and out. He chuckles, "Damn that was a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be." He shows me the shard, the length of a dime that he just pushed out.
"Yeah that's pretty big for me to have just felt it." I hiss as Lance puts liquid stitch on the ones still bleeding and lets it dry before wrapping it up in some fresh gauze.
"Yeah, just think. If I had let you just go around with that in your hand, it would have festered and became a bigger problem than you thought it would be." He says, crossing his arms, looking back at me.
"Are you using an analogy for me, really?" I ask not amused.
Lance gives me a furrow of his brows and pulls his lips thin as he says critically, "No, but if you want to think of it that way than fine."
Realizing I'm being an ass to him right now, I shake my head, "Sorry, man. I know you are just trying to help."
"It's fine, I get it." He says, waiting for me to get up and walk out of the bathroom. I walk out to the living room and take a seat in the chair, sighing.
Lance walks into the kitchen as I sit there, like a deflated balloon. I know they're in there talking, so I don't pay it any mind, closing my eyes.
I feel the change of air pressure around me and Sarina's touch is on my good hand. "Brian? Do you want to go home? You look exhausted. Did everything turn out alright?"
I sigh as I open my eyes at her, trying to mask the disappointment, "I don't know yet." I clear my throat but nod, "I want to go ahead and head home."
"Alright, I'll tell them bye for you." She looks at me with concern before hurrying to the kitchen and letting them know we were leaving.
I walked out to the car and Sarina was not far behind me. When we're both in the car, it's a strained silence.
"I know you can't talk about it, not really, but you know I'm here for you, right?" Sarina says quietly.
I nod.
"It must have been pretty bad. I've never seen you look this.... upset." She says quietly.
I nod again, "Yeah, it seems bad right now." I croak out.
She lays her hand on my thigh, giving it a light squeeze. "You really are a good man, Brian. I'm glad I'm so lucky to be with you." She gives me a warm smile, and I strain to give her a smile back.