"Hey man, are you not coming over for workout tonight?" Lance calls me as I pour myself another drink at my house.
"No, I had a bad day, plus I have a lot of work I need to do. I'll talk to you later, man." I hang up and knock back the liquor, not caring to elaborate on my shitty day.
Sarina has not responded to my text, or call since I saw her yesterday. I have not wanted to bother her, cause I knew she was upset but...
"Uugghhh...." I groan through my gritted teeth, pouring myself another drink. I take it into my office, the only room in this place that doesn't smell or have the recent memories of her. I sit down and try to work, doing my research when I hear my door bell ringing.
I go and open it and it's Lance.
"Hey man. You want to tell me what's going on?" He says, stepping inside.
"Not really, man. It has to do with my job." I inform him.
"I know it does. Sarina came and got her stuff last night from our place, she was pretty upset about something. She talked to Lirael for a little bit, but Lirael didn't share much. Just that your questions brought up some bad and embarrassing memories for her and she ended things between you two." Lance placed a hand on my shoulder and I just closed my eyes and let out a heavy breath.
"I feel lost, Lance. I know we hadn't been together long, that I shouldn't feel this strongly about her, but I do." I run my hands through my hair. "I was just doing my job! I warned them that the questions would get personal, that they'd make them uncomfortable, I did not try to dig those memories out on purpose to hurt either one of them! I'm just trying to help her brother and her heal so he'll come clean about him dying from cancer!"
I realize my slip up and rush to tell Lance, "You CAN NOT repeat that to Lirael or anyone Lance. I could lose my job if that gets repeated."
Lance nods, "I won't say a thing. Have you tried to call and talk to her?"
"I've texted and called once. I just know she's upset and doesn't wish to speak to me right now. I don't want to bother her and make her more upset." I sit on the sofa, clutching my head.
Lance sighs and takes a seat next to me. The heavy silence fills the room.
"You know Lance, I really fucked this up. She's so perfect and I ended up falling for her, so easily. I just wanted to help them both so eagerly, that I forgot to take my time and I should have stopped the conversation from going further when I realized that the conversation was making her angry. I fucked it up and I think I just lost my chance with her. I can't... Fuck, why is it so hard to breathe right now?!" I say clutching my chest, finding I can't take a deep enough breath to feel like I'm getting enough air.
Lance puts an arm on my shoulder, "I know that feeling. Remember when Lirael left and didn't call me to let me know she made it home safe? How frantic I was?"
"But Lirael didn't say you were a mistake, that you being together was a mistake." I cover my face with my hands ashamed of the tears that fall so easily because of the pain those words cause my heart to feel. Like a black hole was punched through my heart, and I'm still trying to move as I'm bleeding to death.
Lance is quiet, he just keeps his arm over my shoulder, squeezing it to give some comfort and support. He stays there, till late into the night, making sure I ate something and finished my notes for my research, kept me from drinking my pain away, and made sure I was in bed, before he left.
Fuck.... I don't deserve a friend like him. I used to crave Lirael and all he's ever done is trust me completely and has always been there for me. No wonder the woman I served my heart to on a platter threw it away so easily. She could tell it was tainted.
The next day I'm back at the facility, handling my patients, when it's time for my session with David. I go to find him in the common room and he the moment he sees me, he makes his way over.
"Hey David, how are we doing today?" I ask him politely.
"I think I'm doing better than you are doc. You look like shit."
"Well I'm glad you feel better than I look." I pick up my papers and go to start asking some more questions, but he cuts me off.
"Did my sister make you like this?"
"We're not here to talk about my life, we're here to talk about yours."
"So she did. Damn, you really like her don't you. You were all smiles Monday, but today it's like you're soul left your body."
I sigh, "Thank you for the observation, David, but I'm here to help you."
David sits back and crosses his arms, "Well, maybe I should help you out."
I grip my temples with one hand, remembering to take a breath, "I appreciate your offer, but..."
"But nothing doc. I've never seen a man this torn over a woman he's only known a few weeks unless he really cared about her. I've never seen someone care about my sister like this."
"David, thank you. I understand you care for your sister and recognize that I care for her too, but I can't do my job if we keep having this conversation."
"Alright, doc. Ask your questions." He shrugs as I start my questions, asking for more information as needed.
At the end of our time, I thank him and start collecting my things to head back to the office.
"Hey doc?"
"Yes, David?" I continue collecting my things to leave.
"I want to stay here longer. I don't think it's a good idea that I leave here Friday. The pills haven't started helping with the pain yet and I don't want to go back to using again."
I nod, "Alright, I'll make a note of it. What have you told the resident doctor when you talk to him? He's the one who has the last say if you stay here come Friday."
David nods, "Okay, I guess I'll stop telling him to suck a dick and tell him what's going on."
"You've been telling Dr. Evans to suck a dick?!" I ask a little surprised.
"Yeah.... In my defense, he made a comment I didn't care for about my sisters 'assets' bringing smiles to the whole place." David rubs the back of his head, "I hate it when someone tries to put my sister down or make derogatory comments about her. That's probably why I like you so much. You treat her like a person, like the lady she is and deserves." He wheels himself out of the office as I finish collecting my paperwork.
I quickly leave before I let my thoughts get the better of me and anyone witnesses the turmoil I'm in. When I get back to the office, my secretary has a surprise for me.
"I know it's a little early, but here you go." She hands a large flat wrapped package to me and I cock my head in confusion at her.
"Early? Is this for my birthday?" My birthday wasn't for another two weeks.
She nods, "Yes, go ahead and open it."
I open it up and it's a painting. It's one of Sarina's. I can still smell the freshness of the paint too.
"I went on my lunch to see what other paintings the artist did that you liked. They no sooner hung this up today, and I purchased it for you." She smiles widely up at me.
"Thank you. This is beautiful, I really appreciate this." I give her a hug and take it into my office. I look at the painting and it's of two figures, caressing each others faces.
I close my eyes as I realize, it's us. She painted us and sold it. I guess that's why she hasn't returned a message to me. I take my phone out and type just five words, hoping that she'll respond.
-I'm sorry, I miss you.-
My phone doesn't go off except for work related reasons and it has me flinching every time I pick it up to check, hoping it is her. I only disappoint myself thinking like this, but I can't help but hope.
I sit at my desk and finish out my day, long after my secretary left before I go home with the painting. I hang it up on the wall in my room, and just lay there looking at it.
I feel like shit the next day, like I've caught the flu, so I call in to work and have my secretary cancel and reschedule my appointments. Lance calls me later that night and I explain to him I'm sick or something he just asks if I need anything.
Within thirty minutes, I have Lance and Lirael here at my place, helping take care of my house and making sure I'm eating.
"Guys, thank you, but I can take care of myself. It's just a flu, I'll be better in a day or two. I don't want you guys catching it." I tell them weakly from my couch, a cool rag on my head to help with my headache.
Lirael and Lance exchange a concerned look, "Are you sure? You really don't look very good." Lirael comes over and removes the rag to feel my head. "Lance, can you grab some fever reducer from his medicine cabinet please?"
Lance goes and grabs the medicine, handing it over to me to take with a glass of water.
"Thanks." I groan taking the meds. My body felt like it had been hit by a bus, everything ached and hurt to move.
"You're not going into work tomorrow right?" Lirael asks, looking concerned.
"No, I don't think that would be a good idea." I turn my head to cough, making Lirael shake her head.
"Okay, tough guy, let's get you into bed. Go ahead and call your office and leave a message. One of us will stop by tomorrow to check on you and bring you some more meds and food." Lirael helps me up and Lance takes over for her.
"I got him my love, go ahead and wash up. I'll be out in the car in a minute." Lance tells her, as he helps walk my shaky legs to the bed.
"Fuck, man. This hit me harder than a bus. I don't think I've ever felt this bad before." I inform Lance, as I struggle to get into the bed after calling and leaving a message for my offices.
"No worries, man. I've got you. Your phone is here on the charger. You have a trash can, some bottles of water, and some more fever reducer right here. If you need us, call us. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
"K." I roll over and get to sleep, hoping I feel better when I wake up.