My mind feels blank and floating. Our teacher was discussing but I nothing registers in my mind. I can't help thinking about what my parents told me last day.
Fiancé? Yeah, they just gave me a freaking fiancé.
I felt like my heart was going to explode that time because of too much frustration and disappointment to them. I absolutely can't believe that those words came from their mouth.
And you know what's more infuriating about this? This is all because of a freaking debt. They want me to marry that jerk who was the son of my father's creditor.
Yeah, all about a debt. Endless freaking debt. I don't have an idea how much that debt is why we need to do this. But my parents told me that it was possible that it reached million and there's a chance that Dad can get jail time for scamming his creditor just to lend money.
So, I guess I have no choice for now.
Honestly, I don't know how would I talk to my parents. I'm still annoyed from what they did. But at the same time, I feel guilty for feeling this way. Everything confuses me and I don't know what to think anymore.
"Ms. Martinez!"
I was startled when my teacher called me that way.
"What do you think you're doing?" she asked me and I saw a shade of anger painted in her eyes.
I was shocked by it so it left me speechless.
"Language was our subject and not Arts. Class, dismiss."
I looked down on my desk after what my teacher told me. And realized that I'm doodling at the back of my notebook. I'm really used to do this especially during those times that I am bored or stressed.
"Roma!"
I looked at Jacob when he called me.
"What? You don't need to shout. You're just sitting next to me," I complained.
"What do you mean? You just doodled on my notebook!"
I quickly checked the notebook after he said that and realized that it wasn't really mine.
I thrown it at him. "There. Why is it on my desk anyway?"
I noticed that he's checking out my drawing.
"Just rip it if you want," I said.
"Are you kidding? Why would I rip this? This drawing was amazing!"
It's just a simple drawing of a random anime girl.
"I'm really amazed how you've done it clean with a ballpen and no mistakes. How did you do that?" he praised while still looking at my drawing.
--
While walking at this shortcut, I'm just looking at the ground the whole time while thinking about those ridiculous things that my parents decided. I just heaved a sigh out of frustration.
I decided to stop for a while. I wanted to take a rest just for a moment. So, I sat over the grassy part of the land, beside the pathway. Then I looked up the sky. It was clear and blue, perfect for the quiet and refreshing ambience of the place.
I heaved a sigh and groaned out of frustration, then kicked aggressively. I hugged my legs next, then rested my head on my knees.
"I don't want to get married yet," I murmured.
It's out of my plan and I just turned eighteen. I can understand it if I'm already thirty.
"You're getting married?"
I was startled when I heard someone spoke. I quickly lifted my head to look up and I wrinkled my forehead when I saw who it was.
"You again?"
It's only him. Again? I don't know if I should be relieved or annoyed. But, whatever.
"Did I hear it right? You're getting married?" he queried then looked at me from toe to head, "but you're still young."
"Who the hell are you and why do you care?"
He sighed, "I was just shocked and curious at the same time. You already spilled it anyway. So, yes?"
"Yes! You're right. You're happy now?"
"Oh. So, who's the unlucky guy?" he sarcastically said with an annoying smirk.
Then I gave him a glare. "Hey, you. If you're going to annoy me, just leave the hell out of here."
He laughed a bit. "You're too serious. So, who's the guy? His name?"
"Why so nosy?"
He chuckled, "Quick. Spill it."
I have a moment of silence before answering. I don't know what's with this guy but I guess it's fine. We don't know each other and I just can't tell about this to everyone.
"Rendel."
"Hmm?"
"Rendel Caden Morgenstern."
I noticed that the guy was stunned for a while, then he quickly checked his wristwatch.
"Oh, I have to go. Thanks for the tea. Bye."
Then he ran away in a rush while I was left here confused from his reaction.
"Weird," I uttered.
--
After getting into my room, I quickly changed my clothes and started to draw my manga. Besides, I don't have anything to do today and I still have the mood.
While working, I heard a knock on my door.
"Roma."
It's Mom. She peeped by my door first before entering my room.
"Do you need anything, Mom?" I asked while still drawing.
"Roma, I know that. . .you were shocked by the decision that we made. We didn't like it, I swear. It's just. . ." then she handed me a two letter-sized brown envelope.
I stopped the moment I saw those. I already have an idea what those things mean.
"What was his offense this time?" I queried.
"Just check it out."
I grabbed one and opened it to read the letter inside. My eyes went wide after reading it.
"How come did he has a Perjury and Estafa case? I thought it was just Sum of Money?"
I was in fifth grade when these sending letters started. These letters are from the Municipal trial Court. At first, I'm just ignoring it because I don't have an idea yet what were these all about.
Sum of Money was the only lawsuit that was included. It was filed by that lending company. I can't remember anymore how much our debt during that time.
Sending of these letters stopped but when I was in eighth grade, it started again. Same case.
Then it stopped again. And now, they are starting again but with additional lawsuit. What an awful life.
"What the hell is this? Five million pesos?!" I aggressively complained after reading how much debt he had.
I heaved a sigh with a groan. "Son of a shit. How did he let this grow like this?!"
"Your father. He started it thirty years ago. You know, he was a gambling addict, materialistic, and alcoholic. He needs a lot of money to sustain those lavish things until he came to the point that he can't pay his debts anymore. So, he thought of escaping and hiding from his creditor. The interest was a bit high too. That's why," Mom explained.
In other words, these are the compilation of his old debts before I was even born, or even before he met Mom just because of his addictions.
"At first, he can still pay. But when he overlooked paying his debts and can't afford to pay it anymore, he just escaped and hid from them. Aside from that, he also scammed the company for them to lend him more."
I don't know what to feel or think anymore. Even how furious I am right now, I just can't get mad to my parents.
"So, what it has to do with marriage?"
"The owner of that lending company wants it. In exchange of letting these things slip by, he wants you to marry his son."
My forehead wrinkled and I still can't understand anything. Why does someone like him wants his son to marry someone like me? What kind of brain does he has? I don't get it.
"Roma, you already know that we can't afford his bail, right? And if ever he ended up in jail, who will support our living? My salary as a housemaid won't be enough for all of us if it happens. And we still have to pay his debts."
My head hurts just by thinking about these. Everything was a chaos. I just rubbed my face with my palms.
"And I just want to tell you that they want to meet us this coming Saturday."
I was shocked by it. "This coming Saturday?"
Mom just nodded as an answer then she left. I heaved a sigh while thinking of what should I do.
I stood up and let myself fell into my bed. Then I grabbed a pillow and hugged it.
I don't want to get married yet. I just turned eighteen. Besides, I'm not even thinking about those things, even crush or having a romantic relationship. They're always warning me to not have a boyfriend while I'm studying, and now they're telling me to get married?
I can't help overthinking about the possible horrors when I get married.
What if that Rendel was actually a horrible guy? What if he will just make me suffer as his servant-for-free?
I aggressively shook my head and hugged my pillow tighter. I don't want it to happen! I still have many dreams that I want to come true and I don't want to ruin it just because I got married.
I don't want to have the same fate like my mom. She gave up her dream to be a dance performer in Japan just because she was fooled by my father. If she chose her dream, she might have a better life now.
I want to make my dreams come true first before that thing. And I'm not getting married until I reached my dreams.
I thought for a sec of what I should do the moment I met my fiancé.
Should I escape? Nah. The situation might become worse if I'll do that. Besides, I have nothing to go if I were to do that.
So, I was thinking about having a logical discussion with my fiancé about breaking our engagement and I'm just going to pay him the other way if ever.
The problem is, will he listen and agree with me?