"Mom?" Zhan Yu suddenly remembered.
It's his mother! It's really her!
But why was he here?
Zhan Yu opened his eyes, only to be greeted by the feeling of him sinking into darkness.
This place was completely devoid of light. He wanted to get out of the darkness, but for some reason, he couldn't walk forward no matter what.
It was dark everywhere, where should he go?
"The patient's situation is really very rare." The unfamiliar voice of another man could be heard. Following that, a beam of light suddenly flashed into the darkness.
Zhan Yu raised his hand up abruptly to block the dazzling ray of light but found his body falling backwards.
When he regained his awareness, he happened to find that the source of the beam of light from earlier was the doctor dressed in his white coat. He was looking down and checking his eyes.
"Seems like he's woken up. This is truly a miracle. It's surprising that he can wake up even after being in a coma for a month. It's a cause for celebration."
The doctor breathed a sigh of relief. After hearing that, Zhan Yu heard a familiar voice by his ear speaking with excitement.
"Thank you doctor! Thank you! Really, thank you so much!"
"Mom..." Only when Zhan Yu tried to speak did he realize that his voice was incredibly hoarse, and also very weak.
Mother Zhan wiped her tears with excitement. "It's good that you've woken up! That's good! Thank goodness, you're awake!"
"Mom..."
"Ah Yu, don't talk, you just woke up. Mom will go and buy you some porridge, so you should go take a good rest." Then, without waiting for a response from Zhan Yu, she left in glee.
Zhan Yu's expression was solemn. He turned his head to look around him and it wasn't hard to see the long history of this small ward. The paint had rubbed off on the corners of the table next to the bed and the windows were also slightly worn.
Zhan Yu raised his hand and touched his stomach. It was completely flat without any of the so-called post-labor pains.
Zhan Yu couldn't help but reach out and cover his own eyes.
So, does that mean that he returned?
Where's his baby?
Where's Lu Bai ?
Where's everyone?
Zhan Yu could no longer tell the difference.
Were those fantastical memories of the past just vivid dreams?
Or did they really exist?
Would he be able to go back by closing his eyes, so that he could go back to when he gave birth to his baby?
His baby...That inexplicable sense of pain...
Zhan Yu had just shut her eyes and opened them again quickly after.
No! Those aren't dreams!
He and Lu Bai had a wedding together, and they had a child!
Those really happened!
Zhan Yu quickly climbed out of bed and had just taken a single step, he didn't expect his legs to be completely powerless, and he immediately fell beside the bed.
Zhan Yu was splayed on the ground and tears suddenly dropped from his eyes!
"Why! Why?!"
He can't go back anymore!
He really can't!
What about Lu Bai?
What about the baby, His baby?
Even though he knew he was a man and couldn't get pregnant but he had been pregnant and had a child. He only had time to take one look at his baby and he couldn't even remember what the baby looked like.
He... he didn't even manage to hold the baby once...
That's right, Zhan Yu didn't even have the time to tell Lu Bai the name he thought of for their child!
But, there were no more chances! It was too late for everything!
"Lu Bai..."
"Oh gosh, Ah Yu, what are you doing! Quickly, get up!"
Mother Zhan who had just returned from buying porridge came in to see Zhan Yu sobbing on the ground, and the sight of his pained cry made her eyes redden as well.
"You silly child, what are you crying about after you finally woke up?"
"Mom..." Zhan Yu hugged her and it felt more and more difficult to suppress his emotions.
"Mom, my baby...baby... I can't go back anymore! I can't go back!"
"What baby? It's fine, it's fine. Don't cry. We'll have to thank the heavens that you finally woke up, nothing else is important anymore!"
But Zhan Yu could only think about crying. Besides crying, he couldn't find another way to vent his emotions.
Zhan Yu cried for a long time and finally stopped when his eyes were swollen. If not for him worrying that his mother would hurt herself from crying with him, it might have been difficult for him to stop.
"Mom..." Zhan Yu looked at his mother who seemed to turn older all of a sudden, and for a moment, he didn't know where to begin.
"You've cried for so long that you must be hungry. Have some porridge." When Zhan Yu saw his mother busy herself with feeding him, Zhan Yu eyes couldn't help but swell with tears again. "Mom, I'm sorry!"
"Silly boy, why are you apologizing?"
"I'm really sorry, mom!"
Zhan Yu lived such a happy life in that world but left his only loved one alone in this world to wait on painfully.
Mother Zhan saw how Zhan Yu kept acting so off and though she had no idea what happened. She was worried that asking Zhan Yu now would make him even more sad, so she could only say, "Mom will be happy as long as you're well. Nothing else matters anymore. No matter how hard life is, or how poorly we have to live, we can still make it through."
"Mom..."
I'm sorry!
The only thing Zhan Yu could say was sorry.
Zhan Yu was discharged the next day despite Mother Zhan's attempts to dissuade him.
Zhan Yu had already found out last night that it had been more than a month since he fell down the stairs.
Since he was admitted to the hospital after someone discovered him, Mother Zhan had helped him transfer to several different hospitals many times. Many doctors say that though Zhan Yu still had life left in him, the chances of him waking up were very low. But Mother Zhan always believed that Zhan Yu would wake up. She sold her mortgage and ran around everywhere just in hopes that Zhan Yu could wake up.
Zhan Yu walked out of the hospital while pulling along his luggage.
When Zhan Yu looked up at the golden glow of the sun, he knew that life would only get harder. But now that he's back, what else could he do besides gritting his teeth and living on?
Zhan Yu searched online for a long time and finally found a two-room house. The price was very cheap, and from what he could see, besides the house being a little small, everything else was acceptable, so he rented it. Mother Zhan's body was sickly, so Zhan Yu had her stay at home to rest while he went out to look for a job.
Their new apartment was very simple. Even though Zhan Yu wasn't very happy with it, he was helpless to do anything.
He also called the school after he was discharged to see if he could get his job back, but the director could only answer with hems and haws. Mostly, it was because his teaching license was about to expire.
Zhan Yu had no intention to continue working as a teacher so instead, he focused on finding a job as a host. Without any background or connections, as well as not having the certifications, the road to look for a job was very bumpy for him.
After seeing that Zhan Yu was receiving no news even after a week had passed, he was forced to send in his resume to a company as a clerk.
After the interview, his admission notice quickly arrived. When he first began working there, Zhan Yu found a small children's training center not toofar from his workplace that happened to be recruiting dance
teachers. Zhan Yu spent more than two weeks working hard to strengthen his body and working up his basic dance skills. Unexpectedly, he received great praise when he went in for the interview. After discussing with the person in charge and signing the contract, Zhan Yu walked through the bustling streets with a black umbrella in his hand and his heart feeling heavy.
Everything that happened today was nothing more than confirmation that what Zhan Yu went through in that book was all true.
Zhan Yu had learned how to dance, he learned how to host, and he even had people he once loved.
Even if he wanted all of that back, he had nowhere to begin.
Zhan Yu felt like a lonely wandering soul in this world without any sense of direction.
In front of the crossroads, the red numbers lit up. Just like the countless others waiting with him, Zhan Yu stared before him in a daze. Who knows how many times those blurry numbers changed as Zhan Yu suddenly looked up, he noticed a bookstore at the right-hand side of the intersection in front. The glass doors of the store were closed and opened again. After opening again, the door was shut again by the person who just left.
The green numbers had already appeared for some time and someone suddenly bumped into him from behind. He quickly stabilized himself and came back to his senses. When he looked up again, his eyes were right on that bookstore. Then, moving his legs, he quickly strolled towards the store.
Even after searching for a long time, Zhan Yu couldn't find the book. After asking the clerk and finding out that "Confident Wife of the President" wasn't sold there, his eyes dimmed for a few seconds. Then, he turned sharply and headed for the next bookstore.
All the way until night time, he visited bookstore after bookstore. But unfortunately, all the shops told him, "Sorry, our store doesn't carry that book."
Zhan Yu headed back dazedly to the small apartment where they were staying. Mother Zhan was weaving something underneath the dim light.
"Mom, why don't you turn on a brighter light?"
"I can see fine, don't worry. This is more energy-efficient."
Zhan Yu suddenly felt a sour taste in his mouth. Slowly, after that choking feeling disappeared, he spoke, "Mom, your eyes aren't good, you should stop."
"I'm fine." Mother Zhan stood up and was just about to ask whether he had eaten and suggested heating up some food, but she noticed that his clothes were half-drenched. She quickly asked, "Why are you wet? Didn't you bring your umbrella?"
Zhan Yu lied. "The rain was a bit heavy."
Mother Zhan quickly handed Zhan Yu a towel. "If the rain is too big next time then you can just come home a bit later. You just recovered, what are you going to do if you get sick again?"
Zhan Yu forced himself to put on a smile. "Alright, I'll remember that next time. I'll go take a shower first, mom."
"Quickly go."
Zhan Yu went back into his room, and after shutting the door, he let hus body slide down to the ground like a sunken pit and hus eyes were empty.
They didn't have the book...
None of them did...
Could that really have been all just a dream?
Zhan Yu suddenly thought of something and quickly went on Baidu to search up the title...
Then, when he saw the familiar names of the male and female lead, as well as the supporting characters in the summary, Zhan Yu couldn't stop his tears from flowing down.
Lu Bai...
That wasn't a dream.
Zhan Yu began looking for the book desperately, but strangely enough, it was as if it had disappeared without a trace. Zhan Yu ran through all the bookstores in this entire city but he got the same response from all of them. "Sorry, we don't carry this book in our store anymore."
Were the sales of this book so staggering that all of them had been bought?
Clearly, Zhan Yu didn't believe that.
Until one day, when Zhan Yu posted online to ask for a copy of the physical book, he found out from a response that someone had been desperately wanting to buy the book besides him.
This was how they responded, "That's strange, why is someone asking for that book again?"
Zhan Yu was shocked. Who else could it be besides...?
"Excuse me, may I ask who else is looking for that book?"
"From what I heard it seems to be the original author. I heard they mentioned that there were flaws with the book that they didn't want to spread, so they bought all the books from all the bookstores and even Taobao. She even bought many of the copies from the readers with a high price. Why? Is there anything strange about this book? Is there a treasure inside or something?" That person seemed to take it as a joke.
But Zhan Yu fell into deep thought.
The author? Shi Shi?
Zhan Yu quickly went back to the post to ask if that person had the book, or maybe knew where she could get a copy, but that person replied no.
"I wouldn't read that kind of dog blood president novel!"
"Then, do you know who the author is? Or her address?"
"I wouldn't know who it is, but you could probably find the address from those who sent the book back."
The behavior of the author was really strange! There must be a secret inside that book. Otherwise, why would she be in such a hurry to destroy it?
The more Zhan Yu thought about it, the more deeply he believed that it must be so.
Could it be that the secret for him to transmigrate back laid inside the book?
Zhan Yu wanted to clear everything up, so for some time, he went everywhere to ask about the book or the author's whereabouts.
After ending up with zero clues, Zhan Yu suddenly thought that if that person hated him so much, then she definitely knew him. However, after checking through all the female friends he knew, he came out with nothing.
Until one day, when Zhan Yu went on Weibo and followed the official blog that promoted the book before, he saw the contents of his post and was amazed to find that the author had already passed away for more than a month. The cause of her death seemed to be from a robbery and she was unfortunately
stabbed when she tried to resist and died of excessive blood loss. When Zhan Yu saw that post, he felt goosebumps rise all over his body.
She's dead? So, the author transmigrated in after she died?
Zhan Yu was stunned. Then, he slowly came back to his senses. Zhan Yu went through the blogger's Weibo and after going through several pages, found a post about the author.
The story of her death was similar, but more specifically, it mentioned that she was writing before her death, and her computer was left on with handwritten manuscripts scattered all around her keyboard. Also, less than two centimeters away from her was an open book, and the page seemed to be stained with blood.
Zhan Yu read word by word seriously, and finally, be felt he
his temples throbbing painfully. Zhan Yu shut off the computer and massaged his head, feeling
disconsolate.
So, the author transmigrated after she died?
The only similarity Zhan Yu could find with transmigrating was that it had something to do with blood and a book.
So, was blood a vital factor?
So, was blood a vital factor?
Why?
How could he and the author transmigrate into the same book?
Because the author created that world?
Because he had the same name as the supporting male character?
Zhan Yu had the vague feeling that he was missing something out.
It wasn't until a week later when Zhan Yu heard his mom mentioning it did he realize that that scum man also had something happen to his illegitimate daughter some time ago.
Zhan Yu's hatred for that man had never reduced this whole time.
Mother Zhan had just said a few words when Zhan Yu cut her off. "Mom, can you not mention him? You know I don't want to hear anything about him!"
Mother Zhan's face turned sour, and she said, "Alright. It's just...I noticed you've been looking up news about some author recently, and from what I heard, her illegitimate daughter seems to be an author as well..."
"An author? So coincidental?"
"Yeah, isn't it? I heard from others that after she was cremated, many of the books that were piled up in her house were burned as well. Some people even said that she must have had all those same books piled up in her house because they wouldn't sell. It's a pity to think about it."
Her? Pitiful? What, were there not many other pitiful people in this world as well?
Zhan Yu was speechless for a moment.
Could it really be that coincidental?
Then, Zhan Yu asked for his mother the address before he passed away and went to look for it during his free time at the weekends. After looking around for a long
time, Zhan Yu finally found the house where she lived.
Only, the house was tightly locked.
Zhan Yu knocked on the door for a long time, but nobody opened the door.
"Mr. who are you looking for?"
When Zhan Yu heard that voice, he turned around to see a haggard old woman standing hunchbacked.
"Hello granny, do you know if anyone lives here?"
The old granny looked at Zhan Yu and said, "Nobody's been living there for a long time now. After that strange shut-in girl died, nobody's been here since."
Zhan Yu was stunned in place. After a while, he asked, "Granny, can I ask you something?"
"I'm just an old woman, I don't know much, but what do you want to know?"
"I just wanted to ask..." Zhan Yu turned to look at the short white house and asked, "The person who lived here...Was her surname Zhan? And was she an author?"
"I don't know if she's an author, but her surname really is Xin. Also, I know that she died a pretty terrible death. But of course, I heard her life was miserable as well. Her mother got involved with someone else's father and gave birth to her, and she seemed to have passed away early on, leaving only her daughter alone. Also, her biological father never came to see her at all. I heard their relationship was also terrible. So, she never came out of her house during the day. Sometimes she would come down for a walk after eating, or you'd see her with her head down hurrying to the supermarket to buy instant noodles. She's a frail young lady with pretty big eyes. Well, they're quite similar to your eyes but not as bright. She skulks around and rarely makes eye
contact with anyone." While talking, the granny tried to recall everything. At the end, she added on, "You know, she's a little strange. One time when my grandson was out for a walk with me after our meal, I saw her brushing by us nervously with her head down. I even called out to her, but then she looked at me in a panic, and then at my son with those bright eyes. Then she ran. It really looks very strange. But I'm not the only person who feels that way. All the other older folks and children feel the same."
Zhan Yu listened to her quietly and immediately affirmed that the author who wrote that book did in fact have some blood relations with him. Only, that was not a relationship Zhan Yu was willing to accept.
So, the reason she hated him was because of that scumbag?
If not for him, then the two of them wouldn't have such broken families today.
She hated herself, so she wrote her into the book and gave him everything, only to come to a miserable end.
So, was this all just her way of venting?
Zhan Yu suddenly understood something. He understood why she was so crazy now. Because in the real world, her personality and the people she came in contact with, none of them were normal...
Zhan Yu suddenly thought of something and was just about to ask when she heard the deep magnetic voice of a man from behind him.
That voice clearly
sounded displeased. "Grandma, what are you saying now?"
Zhan Yu subconsciously turned towards that voice and saw a tall dark figure less than a few steps away from him. That body was slightly thin, and those black clothes were clearly marked with traces of dust and dirt.
Zhan Yu looked up along his clothes until he had a clear look at that face. Then, he couldn't help but widen his eyes, and his mouth moved.
Before he could speak, his tears poured down.
"Lu...Lu Bai..."
Those same thick brows, the same deep eyes, and the same tall nose...
It's him.
It's really him.
Tears flowed down Zhan Yu's cheeks and he had the instinctive need to jump into his arms, but just after taking a few steps forward, he was stopped by a cold voice. "Please stay where you are, Mr.! Yes, my surname is Lu, but I'm not Lu Bai or whatever."
Then, he looked at Zhan Yu again and pointed out cruelly. "You've got the wrong person, Mr."
Zhan Yu couldn't stop his tears and he looked at him through his blurred gaze, shaking his head hard.
No, you are him.
You look just like him.
How could you not be him?
But that man looked at him as if Zhan Yu were disgusting and walked past him to help the old woman.
"Grandma, how many times did I tell you? Don't talk to strangers. What are we going to do if something happens to you?"
That old woman smiled affectionately. "What's going to happen to me? He's just a young man! What can he do to an old woman like me?"
"Anyway, can't hurt to be a little more careful!" After saying that, he helped the old woman back home.
When he walked past Zhan Yu, he looked at him and his gaze looked like he was calling him a weirdo.
Zhan Yu wanted to stop him and ask him a few things, before he eventually stopped when greeted with that cold and distant attitude.
Only the granny seemed to be in a good mood. Before leaving, she turned around and asked with a smile, "So? Is my grandson handsome? Everyone who's seen him is filled with praises for him."
Zhan Yu was speechless.
That man urged him impatiently, "What are you saying, grandma? Let's hurry home."
Zhan Yu watched as that figure slowly left, and he still did not look away.
He really looked like him...
Lu Bai...
Despite knowing that it was just someone who looked a lot like Lu Bai... No matter how many times Zhan Yu told himself he wasn't Lu Bai, his stubborn heart refused to listen.
Was he really not him...?
Zhan Yu needed to confirm.
Only then, could he give up.
Zhan Yu couldn't think of any other way to see him again than waiting at the place he first saw him.
Zhan Yu had to wait for three days before he appeared.
Zhan Yu stood in front of the short white house and waited tirelessly until the street lights turned on at night. It was then that he saw him.
He wore a full black outfit and carried a laptop bag in his hand as he approached. Other than the obvious fatigue on his face, he did resemble Lu Bai a lot.
Zhan Yu took two steps forward, his eyes fixed firmly on his figure.
The man had already noticed Zhan Yu. He casually tossed a look at him before walking forward as though he didn't see him.
There was no hesitation in his steps.
Zhan Yu stared at him intently. When he saw him walk past him with no intention of stopping, he couldn't help but cry out, "Wait!"
"Did you call me?" When the man turned his head, a trace of displeasure could be seen on his face.
"You.."
"If you want to ask if I'm that man again, my answer is the same as last time. Mr., you have the wrong person."
Zhan Yu stared at him and hesitated for a moment before asking insistently, "Do you really not recognize me?"
The man curved his lips into a slight smile. "Do you know me?"
"I... are you really not him?"
"No." The man answered with a sigh.
"Mr., that pickup line is so old. You might have picked my interest if you had tried something more original."
Zhan Yu smiled helplessly. "Sorry. I guess I do have the wrong person."
After that, Zhan Yu added, "You just really look like him."
"I might look like him, but I'm not him." He retracted his smile. "Mr., the person you love isn't me. Please stop waiting here and go back."
Zhan Yu squeezed out a smile. "Thank you." When he turned and left, he shook his head helplessly.
He was overthinking. How could he be Lu Bai?
Lu Bai was in the other world, his life and death were unknown.
Zhan Yu, even if he doesn't exist in this world, he should still try to live on for your own sake.
As Zhan Yu's figure grew smaller and smaller in the distance, he didn't know that the man stood in one spot and stared at him for a long moment.
When his phone rang, he picked up the call and listened to the other end for a few seconds before suddenly saying, "Have you ever had a strange man look at you like he was looking at a close lover?"
"Screw off! I really don't know! I met him only a few days ago!"
"Speaking of, it was pretty weird. When he saw me for the first time, he burst out crying. I felt a little distressed by his tears."
"Yeah, it is weird."
"Geez, you're thinking too much. I was moved by him? Please, I've only seen him a few times at most and spoken maybe five words total to him!"
"Hey, hey, what are you thinking? Why would I want to pursue him?"
Plus, he was obviously deeply in love with another man. Why would he go and try to join that party?
Although Lu Junxing was curious about that man, he knew he only saw him as someone who looked like the man he loved. They were strangers anyway, so there was no reason for him to get involved.
Unknown to Zhan Yu, Lu Junxing had actually spotted Zhan Yu every day he waited in front of the white house. His deliberate avoidance coupled with Zhan Yu absent-mindedness made Zhan Yu miss him every time.
Even from a distance away, Lu Junxing could clearly see the sadness and loneliness on Zhan Yu's face.
He wondered, what kind of story did he have with that man?
Why did the man leave him?
Did he find a new lover?
Or did he pass away tragically?
Lu Junxing couldn't think of a reason and he didn't want to either.
However, he didn't think that he would bump into him again just after a few days.
He was casually browsing the shelves in a bookstore and found the book he was searching for at the top of a shelf for architectural books.
Just as he grabbed the book and was about to look at its spine for the publisher and date of publication, a flash of white caught his attention. It was a man's blue jeans.
Jeans?
Man?
Lu Junxing frowned slightly and looked up to meet a pair of hazy eyes.
Him again?
Before he could open his mouth, he heard him ask in a trembling voice, "You... you know architecture too?"
Lu Junxing looked at the book in his hand, then at his expression. He looked like he was about to cry. He paused for a few seconds before answering, "What? That man studied architecture too?"
Why was he so similar to that man? It almost disgusted him. He'd always believed that he was a rather unique person of his own. However, this man kept on telling him that there was another man in the world who was very similar to him. It was an annoying feeling.
Unfortunately, the man didn't notice his annoyance. He even looked at him with shining eyes and nodded. "He's very talented in the field of architecture." Then, he couldn't help but add, "Even your frowning expression looks identical to his."
"Oh." Lu Junxing thought that if he kept talking to him, he would be angered to the point of wanting to strangle him.
"Mr. do I need to remind you a third time that I'm not him?"
This time, he could see the lonely expression he was hiding. "I know you're not him. He wouldn't treat me like this. He must be waiting for me in the other world," he answered with a self-mocking smile.
Lu Junxing wanted to ask if he needed him to introduce him to a hospital, but the man walked away before he could say anything. He couldn't help but stare at his back.
Was it because his lover passed away?
He became like this because he couldn't withstand the blow?
While he was pondering, he suddenly remembered what he said about his frown and quickly relaxed his brows.
How annoying!
He couldn't be bothered with him, when he went to the front to check out, he saw him talking to the cashier. The cashier shook his head in response to whatever he had asked him.
"Are you sure?" he asked again.
"I'm sure, Mr. There is no record of it. I'm sorry."
"Oh. No, it's alright. Thank you."
When Lu Junxing saw the lost expression on the man's face after he said that, he couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.
What was he looking for?
He waited until he left before going to the checkout.
After paying the bill, Lu Junxing got ready to leave, but turned back around and asked the cashier, "Hello, may I ask what book that lady just now was looking for?"
"Oh, yes. He was looking for some CEO novel, but we really don't have it here."
CEO? Romance novel? He liked that kind of novel? He really couldn't tell.
"Thank you." Afterwards, he exited the bookstore and walked a full circle around it. Despite that, he didn't see that man again.
The man's eagerness to find such a boring book puzzled him even though he didn't really care.
The next day, when he was going out to eat with a few friends, Fa Xiao placed a hand on his shoulder and asked, "So? Did you nail that crying boy?"
"Boy?" Lu Junxing answered in confusion.
"You know! The one you said was crying so hard it made you want to pursue him!"
Lu Junxing brushed off his friend's hand and reached for a glass of beer. He took a slow sip before asking leisurely, "Are you drunk?"
Their other friends leaned forward, eager to be let in on the gossip.
"All of you can stop speculating. He's just spouting pure nonsense," Lu Junxing said, much to their disappointment.
"You know better than anyone else whether it's nonsense or not!" Fa Xiao retorted.
"From the way I see it, you've never been moved by any of the boys who liked you before! This time, you felt distressed when you saw a random weeping handsome on the streets. Why don't you explain that then?"
To be continued...