"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say, falling head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head, and you listen to your heart. Cause the truth is, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, 'cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."
-William Parish
Her eyes watered uncontrollably as she watched the pyre being lit the idea that her elder brother was inside was too much to bear. Once the ceremony was over they would all go back home but he was going to stay all by himself, alone in that lonely dark place, the thought ravaged her heart.
Mishti didn't even realize she was shaking until she felt Ronobir's arm pulling her towards him, trying to soothe the continuous tremors shaking her body. She instantly felt a sense of relief at being in his arms and allowed her eyes to roam around the cremation ground. Ananya was crying in the arms of her grandmother, all the spark and joy, Mishti had seen in her friend's eyes a couple of days ago, was long gone, replaced by the hollowness and despair of incomparable loss.
Her mother, who had been so enthusiastically preparing for her grand 50th birthday was now at the heartbreaking funeral of her only son on that very day, standing next to her father looking distraught as she watched her beloved son being lowered to the ground. Mishti was sure she had never seen someone looking as broken as Mauli, it was as if the life had snuffed out of her and she had aged twenty years in a matter of days.
"Goddamn this life," Mishti muttered as she watched a crying Pari place the logs on the pyre. Her brother was dead; he had been shot in cold blood. And because of what? Money, power? Was any of it worth this anguish?
Mishti felt Ronobir's hold tighten at the words she had whispered and she leaned into him, breathing in his scent and feeling instantly comforted by it. For a moment she wished they could be different; a normal couple who had met under normal circumstances and led a normal family life. A couple in love, with nothing but happy days in their future, she didn't give a damn about riches and luxury, she could be happy without all the trappings of wealth and power as long as she had the people she loved around her.
But that was only a pipe dream.
The bitter reality was that the life she had to live was very different from the one she dreamed of, and there was nothing she could do to change that. She closed her eyes trying to swallow the bitter truth and remained glued to Ronobir for the rest of the ceremony, she didn't want to face the world yet, she wasn't ready to.
When it was time to leave he walked her to the car they had arrived in and told her she would have to go with Shruti and Rishabh because he had something to discuss with her father, but that he would be right behind them. She fought him on that since she didn't want to be parted from him even for a second but Shruti managed to convince her that everything was going to be okay.
Ronobir watched the car disappear in the distance and brought his hand to his chest, massaging the spot where his heart was beating frantically, trying to relieve some of the pain he felt at seeing his wife so broken and devastated. He sighed and walked towards Ishaan, his eyes avoiding the image of Mauli Khanna, it was like he was transported to the past and it was his mother's empty eyes he was staring into, so he tried to avoid her at all costs.
"You need to get a grip, Ishaan!" Ronobir muttered under his breath when he reached the older man. He looked shattered, the man in front of him wasn't even a shadow of the man he used to be. "They're all vultures and they can't see you weak," Ronobir told him as his eyes wandered across to the people still standing in the graveyard.
"I don't care anymore, Ronobir!" His voice was dull and broken as he spoke.
"Well care! because you still have two daughters who need you alive," he bit out harshly as he placed a hand on the man's arms and forced him to stop in his tracks. "And we can't have you appearing weak."
Ishaan seemed to think about his words and then nodded, as his eyes regained that old vigor briefly, "I want Salim dead!"
"You'll have him dead but I need you to be complete and not shattered like this!"
Ishaan nodded as his thoughts went to his daughters who still needed him to be the mob boss he always had been, "I will but I need you to take them with you."
Ronobir looked at him questioningly, "Who?"
"Mishti, Mauli, Nandani, and Pari," he answered firmly. "I want you to take them to New York as fast as you can, you're the only one who can protect them."
Ronobir nodded even though he wasn't sure how wise it was to have both Pari and Mishti living under the same roof. "I had already planned to take a flight at night so yes they can come."
"Good!" Ishaan nodded as he resumed walking towards the car where Mauli was waiting for him. Not wanting to face her grief, Ronobir bid the elder man farewell and headed in the direction of the waiting car which Sikander had parked close by.
Ronobir got inside the car looking visibly distressed and Sikander started the engine immediately, his hand tapped the dashboard absently, his eyes trained on the window, as he watched the outside world passing by.
"What now boss?" Sikander asked as his eyes focused on the road ahead of them.
"We must lure that mother fucker out!" Ronobir bit out furiously, he was completely distressed by the knowledge that Salim was continuously managing to fly under his radar. "I don't like that he got us by surprise."
Sikander shook his head as a muscle started to twitch in his jaw, "I was there the entire time and didn't see anything out of the ordinary, there weren't signs of someone breaking in..." he sighed as he stopped himself from saying what he wanted to.
"What?" Ronobir asked, so attuned to his soldier that nothing passed by him, he knew there was something he wanted to tell him.
"I believe that the Khanna house was compromised, there's someone in there who isn't who he pretends to be," the English man said as his hands gripped the steering wheel forcefully. Sikander was a man who took his job very seriously and hated knowing that someone had managed to sneak under him.
A frown appeared on Ronobir's forehead as he mulled over the words of his friend, for some reason his mind went over to Pari and the frightened expression he had seen on her face the day that she had come to see him. "Sikander I want a complete investigation on Veer's Verma backstory."
Sikander's eyebrows shot up and glanced briefly at his boss, "That's one of the first things we did Boss!"
"I want another one," he growled, "A more thorough search, there's something I don't like about him and my instincts are never wrong."
"As you command," the other man nodded. "And what about Salim?"
"Are you keeping tabs on him?" Ronobir asked as he pulled out his phone to send a text asking for the jet to be ready for take off in a few hours, he couldn't wait to have Mishti back in New York, safe and sound.
"Never stopped"
"Good!" he dropped his phone on his lap and turned his head to stare at his friend. "I have to think this one through"
Salim had crossed a line, going after Mishti's brother, Ronobir knew the attack wasn't against him per se, but he had known the Russian mafia's boss and how his mind worked for so long that he knew for certain he was taunting him. He wanted to anger him in hopes that he would lash out without thinking and make a grave mistake, but what Salim Kamali didn't know was that although Udayveer Chatterjee might have been more brutal, Ronobir was far smarter.
Once they reached the house, he informed Mishti of their imminent departure and told her to be ready, and then proceeded to lock himself in the library with Sikander and Rishabh until it was time to leave.
Mishti on the other hand went to her mother and begged her to come with them to New York but Mauli refused. Although she knew it might not be safe to stay behind, she wasn't ready to say goodbye to the memories of her son and the house where they shared so many happy moments. Mishti wanted nothing more than to take her mother with her but decided to let it go because what did she know about grieving over the loss of a child? She had to let her mother deal with her pain in the way she wanted to.
Pari refused to come as well, she claimed she couldn't leave Veer, and Mishti was too caught up in her pain to realize that her sister and her former boyfriend had barely spoken a word to each other in the last few days.
As she and Shruti packed their bags, Mishti couldn't help her mind going back to her brother and how affectionate his hugs had been, how kind his last words to her had been, and how much she loved him. She understood Ronobir's pain now and his anger as well, she had once heard that whilst pursuing revenge, you must dig two graves because something in you will die for sure on that soul-destroying journey, yet she found herself not caring about what happened to her because at the moment there was nothing she wanted more than for the people who did that to her brother to pay with their blood.
"Shruti what does Salim look like?" she stopped folding her dresses and lifted her eyes to see Mishti who was now sitting down and trying to close her suitcase.
"Why do you ask?"
Mishti shrugged, "Curiosity"
Shruti sighed and resumed her task, "I don't know. The Kamalis ran away to Russia when I was ten and nobody has seen them in fourteen years. If I ever met him again I don't think I will recognize him, I don't remember and I doubt they look the same after so long."
"Doesn't that makes them more dangerous?" Mishti asked an edge of fear tinging her voice, and Shruti gave her a sympathetic smile.
"To us maybe but I doubt Ronobir will ever forget that face," Shruti closed her suitcase and sat on the bed reaching her hand out to touch Mishti's briefly, "Don't worry Mishti, I know you're still shaken up but Ronobir will never allow him to get close to you."
Mishti nodded even though she wasn't sure she believed what Shruti was saying, her brother's death was proof that no one was safe and no one could truly protect anyone.
When it was time to leave Mishti clung to her parents like she hadn't done since she was a child, her eyes welled with tears and she could feel herself breaking down all over again but knew she had to be strong; because they couldn't be so she had to be strong for all of them.
Once inside the plane, Rishabh and Shruti sat in the back while Nandani slept soundlessly next to Ananya in the front. Her friend was in such a bad state that they had to give her sleeping pills, thankfully she hadn't refused Mishti's offer to accompany her to New York. Ananya was an only child and her mother was no longer in the picture, Mishti knew if she stayed back in Mumbai without Ansh she was going to break down completely.
Mishti felt tiredness invading her entire body and Ronobir coaxed her to rest her head on his lap so she could sleep more comfortably. Mishti relished in this tender side of Ronobir, the doting husband who wanted to make her feel better, so for once she did as she was told without arguing and let herself be cuddled by him.
Mishti wondered if the pain of losing Ansh bhaiya would ever fade away or if would it remain indelibly like a wound that never healed and kept opening up, again and again, to lacerate the senses with anguish each time. She wanted to ask Ronobir about his sister but knew how much he hated to talk about it so she remained quiet instead, feeling the weariness taking over again.
Her head was resting on his lap as he stroked her soft hair gently, her eyes were closed and the steady rise and fall of her chest managed to soothe the dark thoughts swirling inside his head. She had asked him to teach her how to fight, he had refused the minute the words had left her mouth but after a lot of arguing she had made him see the logic of her reasoning. She didn't want to feel powerless so he agreed to train her with the help of Sikander. He hated the fact that their lifestyle had necessitated her to ask him for that, hated that they were in a position where learning basic defenses could save her life. He wanted nothing more than keep her safe, surrounded by soft and pretty things, in the very glass window she had once accused him of keeping her in, at least there she would be out of harm's way and nothing bad would happen to her. Because the thought of anything happening to her tore him from the inside and he honestly didn't know if he could survive her loss, if anything happened to her he would wreak devastation destroying everything in his path.
As he looked at her, he once again realized how young she truly was, she was only twenty-five and he had already dragged her through so much. Barely a woman and already married to one of the most dangerous mafia bosses.
He never felt sorrier for his actions, than at that moment. He hated himself for what he had done to her and how he had behaved with her since taking her away to New York.
"I am sorry babydoll!" he whispered and knew she was awake when he felt her heart start beating frantically in her chest, "I am sorry."
Her eyes opened and he found himself mesmerized by those chocolate orbs that seemed to stare directly into his soul, "Ronobir..." she breathed out huskily and he smiled softly at her, his hand stroking her cheek lovingly.
"Yes?"
She inhaled and her eyes widened as she looked at the tenderness in his eyes "I- Ronobir I..." he put a finger on her lips and stopped her from saying whatever she wanted to say.
"Later," he whispered and leaned down to kiss her forehead, her eyes fluttered at the contact and as he went back to stroking her hair softly, her eyes closed again and she drifted off to sleep ensconced in the safe warmth of his touch.
Mishti was still half asleep when they arrived at the house, he took her in his arms and carried her into the bedroom like he had done the first time they flew there. He placed her on the bed and leaned down to kiss her forehead when she opened her eyes and raised a hand to stroke his cheek.
"Please Ronobir," she whispered and he knew exactly what she was asking, there was no hesitation in her eyes just a burning desire.
"You're not in your right mind Mishti."
"You think I don't know what I want but you're wrong."
"Mishti..."
"Please Ronobir, help me feel," her eyes pleaded with him as her hand kept caressing his face. "I feel so cold inside, I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to feel warm and alive even if it's just for a while."
He took a deep breath and dropped his forehead onto hers, there was only so much someone could take and he was only a man. A man whose knees grew weak at the sight of the woman on his bed.
"You are my strength Mishti," he murmured before joining their lips together. He worshiped her mouth as if she was the most precious thing in the world to him. There was hunger in his touch but it wasn't aggressive like it was most of the times between them, his touch was tender and so loving that Mishti felt her toes curling in pleasure because of it.
He pulled apart from her and reached into a drawer on the nightstand, her heart raced when she saw the condom wrapper in his hands. "Just relax" his words were a silky whisper against her hot skin.
Her dress had ridden up and left the skin on her thighs exposed, he licked his lips as his eyes raked through the length of her body, waves after wave of lust crashed into his entire body, making him so hard he thought he would burst if he wasn't inside her, "Your beauty takes my breath away sweety." His hand caressed the bare, silky skin of her legs, her head was thrown back and her eyes closed as she relished in the burning need she felt for him. "I've never seen anything more beautiful"
He leaned down and placed an open-mouthed kiss on her belly while his hand continued riding her dress up. "I need you Ronobir" she gasped writhing against him as his erotic kisses blew her mind when his hands slipped between her legs into her slick dampness and played with her bundle of nerves expertly her body bucked out of the bed and she screamed breathlessly as her body tightened around the fingers curled inside her wet sheath giving her the friction she needed, "Oh God, oh my ..." she screamed as her body convulsed and she felt her vision darken with the sheer force of her orgasm. "Ronobir..."
"I need you more!" he growled at the sound of his name from her impassioned voice, his voice was dripping with desire, as he spoke. He could feel his cock throbbing with pure need and knew he needed to have her right at this moment or he would surely burn alive, "You are so beautiful, my lady." His eyes drank her in as he helped her out of her dress, her round heavy breast bared to his scorching gaze and he couldn't resist pushing them together to form a cleavage and running his tongue between them before he took one rosy nipple into his mouth, making them harden immediately and she arched towards him pushing her breasts into his sinful mouth. "I love the way you taste, Mishti, I could live on it."
Mishti gasped as she threw her head back again; the feel of his wet mouth on her feverish skin was making her feel out of control as she felt her lower belly tighten once again as her core clenched. "I need to feel your skin," she panted as she tried to get rid of his t-shirt. Ronobir took the hint and broke apart from her just long enough to remove his clothes and then leaned down once again to feast on her flesh.
She took hold of his face and pulled him towards her waiting mouth, their tongues massaging each other with pure abandon as they kissed wildly. What he was doing to her was beyond her wildest dreams, she had never thought such pleasure as she was feeling right now existed. Every nerve ending was ablaze and her whole body was tingling with sensations of pure delight. Her hands roamed the expanse of his back as he thrust against her; the feel of his large hard member against her clothed core was driving her mad with want and she gasped in frenzy, every cell in her body so desperate to join with his that she grasped his thighs between her legs and started to clench it tightly, as she moved up and down on it, desperate to create friction and satisfy the need between her legs.
"Ronobir...please," she panted as he broke apart from her and leaned his forehead against hers, gazing into her eyes as his hand reached into the hem of her panties and started lowering them, ridding themselves of the final barrier between their bodies. "Oh fuck, you're so beautiful..." he groaned and Mishti felt the wetness between her legs growing even more, just by the way he was looking at her, his eyes almost black with desire and his voice husky with want.
He leaned back and rested on his knees as his eyes traveled all over her body. He swore nothing could be more beautiful than her at that moment. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair wild, the tips of her nipples were pointed towards him and her abdomen was contracted with want, "You make me feel drunk darling."
Her breath hitched when he tore open the condom wrapper and rolled it down his length, she wanted to reach out and touch it but lacked the confidence to do it, not aware that her entire body was trembling with the nerves burning inside her. "Relax darling," he told her gently as if reading her mind.
"I am"
"No, you're not," the hint of a smirk appeared on his face as he lowered himself once again. His lips found hers immediately, and she groaned into his mouth as his naked chest rubbed against hers.
His hand moved between her legs and she arched her back when she felt him playing with her folds, "Look at me!" he commanded as he positioned the tip of his member at her entrance. "Look at me Mishti," he repeated and she opened her eyes to find him staring at her with such hunger that it frightened her for a moment.
He eased inside her and she squirmed slightly with the discomfort, "Relax!" his lips tipped up in a gentle smile and she felt her body easing up under his warm stare. "I fucking love you Mishti Chatterjee!" he whispered gutturally before thrusting in, taking her virginity and her breath away with one swift move of his hips.
Her eyes filled with tears both at the pain and the words that came out of his lips, she wondered briefly if it was something he truly meant or if it was something that he had whispered in the throes of passion.
"Mine, mine, mine!" he babbled against the skin of her neck. "You are all mine," he kissed her shoulder and raised his face to stare into her. "Are you all right?"
A tear leaked from the corner of her eye as she nodded, he placed his lips there and kissed them away, the act warming her heart in ways she couldn't explain. "Move Ronobir!" he smirked and withdrew his hips before slowly slamming them back against hers.
He began a slow steady rhythm of pulling out and thrusting back into her. Her back arched and her arms wrapped around his back pulling him closer to her body, "Fuck Mishti!" he groaned next to her ear before sucking lightly on her earlobe.
Her hands wandered across the muscles on his back before settling on his ass cheeks, urging him to go deeper. Ronobir hissed at the feel of their pelvic bones smashing against each other, the sound of skin against skin was almost vulgar "I burn for you my love, I always burn for you," he whispered gruffly against her ear before reaching for her mouth again and moving one of his hands between their bodies finding the sensitive bud between her legs.
She gasped into his mouth breaking their kiss, bodies damp with perspiration and breathing labored as he thrust repeatedly into her, "Ronobir I..." her eyes rolled in the back of her head and her words were cut off as a sound of uncontained pleasure erupted from her mouth and her eyes closed to the pleasure ripping through her body.
Ronobir groaned at the sounds coming from her mouth, and the way she was pulsing around him managed to send him over the edge, his balls tightened and he threw his head as he felt her nails dug into his ass, he felt his belly clench and he growled her name as he came violently, shudder after shudder wracked his body in the most powerful orgasm he had ever experienced. It was the most amazing feeling in the world and he never wanted it to end.
"What the fuck was that?" Mishti said while trying to catch her breath, her whole face was flushed and he swore he could watch her like this for the rest of his life.
"That my love was us giving in to our passion for each other," he pulled out of her, pride swelling in his chest at the small whimper that left her lips at his withdrawal. He stood up and threw the condom into the trash before heading into the bathroom and returning with a warm damp cloth to clean between her legs like he had done the very first time they were intimate.
When he climbed back into the bed, she was already under the covers and still fully naked. "Can we do this every day?" she asked mischievously when he assumed his normal position behind her.
He laughed and felt her laughing with him, her body wriggling under his, "Babydoll we're going to be doing this every day, and sometimes more than once in the day, don't worry about it" he told her before playfully nipping the junction where her neck met her shoulder.
"Promise?" she threw her head back and gifted him with a cheeky smile.
He smiled back at her and touched his nose to hers, "Promise," he told her before moving his hand between her legs again and ripping more sounds of pleasure from her mouth.
She knew they should talk about the words he had inadvertently murmured in the middle of their lovemaking and the ones she had almost blurted out twice that same night, but the feel of his fingers between her legs was so good and she felt so ready to give into him again that decided to lock her thoughts in a small part of her head to be brought out at a later date.
There would be time for that tomorrow; right now she only wanted to be worshiped by him again and lose herself in the carnal delight of their lovemaking.