Muchen walked into his dark house blinking dropping his coat and his things on the way in. Blank white walls faced him. There was nothing in here that was remarkable or significant to him. Everything was arranged by shao.
he just lived here like a guest, not changing anything around him.
Muchen pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the sofa. His hand subconsciously fell on his stomach. 'it doesn't hurt now…. But... but it's there. A hug lumps.'
he trudged to his bed and plopped down. A soft pink bunny plushy was right by his face, looking down at him.
"The doctor said I'm sick…" he pulled the plushy close and hugged it tightly. "Why can't I get a break?"
In the comfort of his open space, he finally broke down. Biting his lower lips, he silently cried his heart out.
Ever since he had little he had been living on the edge. Surviving day to day in that scheming house hold, eating rotten food, being pushed around, being poisoned... he had been through a lot. He had fought and struggled through so much but he didn't expect a small tumor to pull him out.
"Life is so unfair…" he closed his eyes tightly.
The cold fluffy plushy did not give him the comfort he needed.
Tears started to roll down his face, soaking his favorite plushy. "is it that bad for me to want to survive? Why is the world against me? I just want to live."
Sitting up Muchen hurriedly wiped his face clean. "if I'm going out, I'm going out in my own way. I don't accept this fate." He pulled out his luggage from under his bed and started to toss his plushy in.
Through his blurry eyes, he peered at the worn-out bunny. "I-I don't wish to die on a hospital bed. No, it's not what I want. I'm going to swim with the sharks and die on a lonely beach." He gently touched its dirty nose. "no one likes me anyway. By the time they find my corpse, I would be a dried mummy, or even become a meal to the local lifeform. That's good.'
Muchen sobbed when the realization hit him. No one will cry for him. Everyone hated him, his fans, his family. Everyone.
With his passport, he slowly trudged to the door. Looking back, he peered at the blank rooms. 'I hope Shao won't blame me for this…'
If he died in there his best friend might get traumatized. He did not want that. he would never do that to him.
As he was about to step out, he noticed a small pink letter by the coat roam.
Frowning, he picked it up. it was one of those fan mails. Initially, when he started his career, he loved to read these but later things just got worse. Instead of Fan mails, he got hate mails. People scolded him for no reason and criticized him as a devil. He stopped reading them entirely.
Muchen scrunched the letter up in his palm. The recent bullying scandal came to his mind. Back then, he was only trying to save his life from the gunned assailant but to others, the view was warped. He was the bully who went around hitting people with a rolling pin. Partially His aunt was behind it but it was his 'fans' who believed it and shunned him. His 'fans' who claimed to love him, now hated him.
'Why do people hate others for no reason… what did I do to them? I was only trying to save my own life... what do they know?' he wiped his tears in his hurry.
He pulled open his coat closet to toss the letter in but to his surprise, a huge mountain of it slid down, falling all over his feet.
Frowning he kicked them away. This tore into one of the letters. A small heart fell out of it. "I believe in you Muchen ah!" was written in bold.
Muchen could not believe his eyes. 'Someone actually believed him?' he squatted down and picked up the small heart. There was no name or any return address. Just this letter.
'Someone actually supports me even through all this.'
He picked up another letter and tore it open.
Then he tore into another.
All of them.
Every single one of them was positive letters.
They were all saying that they believed in him.
'Shao must have had someone write this... or else why…'
He opened a few more and it was the same result. His fans… loved him. Even though he was a troubled person they loved him. They rooted for him.
'Why? I'm not likable... I'm not a good person...' he sobbed, hugging the letters.
Even though he was alone in this world there were people looking out for him, encouraging him to be the best. F them he wanted to live. He wanted to make them happy.
"ha-ha…I... I guess I'm not leaving… God I have to get to the hospital. They will cut into me. I might lose my hair." he massaged his luscious hair. "I'll get a wig. It... it will all work out."