Yunfeng sat by the window of Muchen's apartment, staring out at the city skyline. His hand rested on his stomach, trembling slightly as he clutched the fabric of his sweater. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions—fear, guilt, regret, and an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Muchen's words from the previous night played on a loop in his head: "No. I hate them."
He bit his lip to stifle the sob that threatened to escape. 'If he hates kids so much, how will he react to this? What if he despises me for keeping it? Gods, I should have never thrown away that pill...'
The regret was like a heavy stone lodged in his chest, suffocating him with every breath. Omegas had peculiar pregnancies, unlike anything else. The fetus developed in a special chamber formed within the intestinal walls, a sanctuary protected from most external influences. It was nearly impossible for regular contraceptive pills to affect it once the pregnancy had progressed beyond a week. And Yunfeng had gone ten days without his medication.
"So... the child is coming no matter what," he whispered to himself, his voice trembling.
The only other option was a clinical abortion—a procedure that involved surgically removing the protective sac completely. The thought made his stomach churn.
"Fuck..." Yunfeng muttered, massaging his temples to ease the dull ache spreading through his head. Muchen sat nearby, blissfully unaware of the turmoil tearing Yunfeng apart. He was watching a movie, his arm casually draped over the back of the sofa.
Yunfeng's gaze flicked to him. 'If you hate it so much, then… then I'll get rid of this child for you. Because… you are more important to me than anything.'
Tears welled in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. That night, he curled up in Muchen's arms, inhaling his lover's comforting scent as he tried to gather his strength. But sleep eluded him. His thoughts circled endlessly, tormenting him with visions of the tiny life inside him being extinguished like a candle.
The next morning, Yunfeng ate breakfast in silence. Muchen offered to drive him wherever he needed to go, but Yunfeng declined, citing the risk of being spotted by fans. In truth, he needed to do this alone.
With trembling fingers, he searched online for a nearby abortion clinic and made his way there. The building was unassuming, its walls adorned with posters. One caught his eye: a chubby baby smiling with the words, "A child is a gift from God." Yunfeng's chest tightened as he averted his gaze and stepped inside.
The waiting room was crowded, filled with women of all ages. He sat next to a woman whose pregnant belly was unmistakable. She turned to him with a kind smile.
"Are you here to accompany someone?" she asked softly.
Yunfeng hesitated, then nodded dazedly.
"That's good. Pregnant people need all the support they can get," she said, rubbing her belly fondly. "Sadly, my husband was too busy today. But he usually comes with me. He loves hearing the baby's heartbeat. It's the sweetest sound. She even yawned during the last ultrasound. Want to see?"
Before Yunfeng could reply, she pulled out her phone and showed him a video. The screen displayed a grainy image of a tiny fetus yawning inside the womb. His heart melted at the sight, but the guilt returned tenfold.
"Aren't you here to get rid of the child?" he asked hesitantly, his voice barely audible.
"Oh no, I'm not. The gynecologist's office is just next door," she said with a gentle laugh. "I could never get rid of this child. We've waited so long for her. How could anyone be heartless enough to end a life so precious?"
Her words were a dagger to Yunfeng's heart. He lowered his gaze, his hands clenched tightly in his lap.
"But what if…" he whispered, "what if the parents can't love the child? Isn't it logical to spare them that kind of life?"
The woman let out a soft sigh, her eyes thoughtful. "I understand that perspective. Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child. I'm not against the decision to terminate a pregnancy, especially in cases of abuse or other hardships. But I hope that people think it through carefully before deciding. Sometimes, just one person's love is enough to give a child a beautiful life."
Yunfeng's chest tightened, his vision blurring with unshed tears. "Yes…" he murmured, his voice breaking. "Yes, it can be enough."
He stood abruptly, his legs shaky as he took a step back. "I… I really love this child," he said, his voice trembling. "It's only been a few days, but I already love it. Even though it makes me puke my guts out, even though it scares me to death… I love it."
Tears streamed down his face as he bolted out of the clinic, the weight in his heart lifting with every step. For the first time in days, he felt a sliver of clarity.
'I'm keeping this child. No matter what happens, no matter who stays or leaves… I'll love it enough for the both of us.'