Dear diary

[ I remember where we first met; do you? If I'm correct, it was

When we were young. I was swinging at the swing set, and you've walked up to me with a small and badly picked yellow flower; I kept that flower ever since. Do you remember because I do? I remember that in middle school, we grow apart…why? ]

"Hey, Rook!"

[ You used to call my name like that, but now when I hear someone call my name the way you did, I would turn my head in substance just to be disappointed to see another face.]

"hehe, hi Kai."

"I've been trying to call you since last night; where were you?"

"Sorry, I went to bed early."

"mhm, yea, sure."

There was a moment of silence

"Kai, you sure that you ok? You look different…I-in a good way, of course, heh."

"Yea, I'm ok? What looks so different for YOU, a person who pays no attention to their surroundings to say I look different from what you remember."

"Well..ever since you two stopped talking the way you used to, you seem to be in your mind Half of the time, and the rare chance you are not, you just get quiet and hardly talk. That's not my Rook that I remember."

" So it's not just me who released that we were growing distant from each, huh?"

[Kai went quiet after my last remark, but I already knew the answer. I remember thinking that there was something wrong; well not "wrong" per say; more like "WRONG" with "ME" ]

[ The rest of the walk was quiet, too, and from school, neither Kai nor I had anything to say to each other, but I genuinely believe that she knew that quiet was what I needed. ]

"Welcome home"

My mother's voice shouted from the living room.

"How was your day?"

[I said nothing and made my way up the stairs and to my room, throwing my bag down and flopping on my bed. Tell me do you remember when I would try to text you randomly throughout the day just for you to leave me on read? Haha, you might not remember, but I do; you would always decline my calls and even went as far as even to block my number at some point. But one night You called me , why? You never told me why we couldn't be friends or needed to keep our distance. What happened those days when we would spend hours on the phone just for you to call me and tell me such bad things? I usually can move on and pay no mind to those who leave for unknown reasons, but when you left….my heart hurt, and I couldn't eat or sleep. All I could ask myself was "what have I done?" And "why did our story end so suddenly?"]

[ But who knows why you said what you said or why I felt the way I felt; I just knew at that moment I could not live without you, but what can I do? You are my best friend, and I only want the best for you, the one I would give my life to, the one I would sacrifice the world for; you meant that much to me back then, but now As I gotten older I finally know what the feeling I felt were, it was a love I loved you and I never even knew it, did you? Did you know I loved you? Is that why you left? Is it because I drove you away? And with just a simple press of a button our friendship was over. I cared about this burden, knowing that we would never be able to have the same relationship as we once did But and even after all of that I will never know how to say "I miss you" in the way your heart will ache the same as mine. ]