Staring at the ceiling, I wonder what just happened. My arms and legs feel short, my body feels light, like I was a child.
Wait, am I a child right now?
I sat up quickly and tried to get off the bed I was occupying. Unused to my current body, I tumbled over and fell to the ground. Damn it, I'm still sensitive to pain still. Soon after, someone barged into my room and yelled.
"****! Are you ok?" For some reason I couldn't interpret what the first word was, and the voice I heard was unfamiliar and familiar to me. I looked up to see who the figure was.
It was my Dad.
As my dad was trying to speak to me, emotions of regret started to fog up my thoughts. If I visited him at least once. Would he still alive in my present?
"Son, are you ok? Does it hurt a lot?"
I didn't realize I was shedding tears. I forced myself to stop crying and hold my regrets within. Think rationally, control my heart and make sure nothing leaks out. I spoke with a voice I haven't heard in a long time, a tad monotone.
"I'm fine dad, how are you?"
"What do you mean fine? You were crying just a second ago."
"I'm fine now, nothing's wrong anymore."
I stood from up from the point of impact, and realized how big the world was compared to my tiny body. I'm I around 3 feet tall? My dad started to talk again.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
"What do you mean."
"Well where's the part you start whining to me where it hurts?"
Crap, I did recently recognize I was in "my" younger self body, but I forgot to adapt to a previous child-like version of myself.
"I told you I am fine dad, I am not hurt anywhere."
"Well if you say so."
My father is a good man right now. Later in life, reality starts to break him down, or my mom starts to break him down. I was young back then so I didn't realized why my father became so angry all the time and became an alcoholic.
But now I know, my mom cheated on my dad. My dad who realized this became so angry and sad went out to drink. Then he came back home with fury releasing his anger from his cracked heart. My mom was injured badly, and my siblings with struck with something worse than fear.
He later got a restraining order, got divorced, and never came back.
My family was never the same after that. My older brother locked himself inside his room or went outside, never interacting with me and my other older sister who was also currently a young child at that time.
My oldest sister also was like my brother, except she hanged out with the wrong crowd, and her future suffered because of it.
My older sister, younger than my oldest sister, had negative emotions unable to be hold inside of her. Without someone to talk with, she had to explode her emotions somewhere, and that explosion was aimed at me.
I was confused at the time. I think instead of having turbulent emotions inside of me. I instead sealed them. I had no one to talk to, and no where to explode.
Anyways, my dad later in life died from alcohol, I realized the truth of his anger and always regretted it. I remember one part of my life he loved me. The other part, he was angry. But what if his death could've been prevented if I just talked to him. I didn't realize he lived only 2 miles away. But alas, he died, and I always felt like I could've prevented it.
Enough of the sob story, I have this second chance now, and I need to use it well.
As my dad walked out, I started to head to my parent's room. I went to the door and opened it.
I saw my mom on the bed, and I know I made it seem like my mom was a bad and evil person, but I know who my mom also is. I looked at her and saw a broken soul.