As I sit here in my room, I can't help but feel like I'm adrift in an ocean of confusion.
I lived in a small village but I came to the city to school.
I'm now a sophomore in high school, but I don't feel like I belong here. I don't understand the world around me, and I feel like I'm constantly struggling to keep up.
I'm an introvert, and I've always found it easier to observe from the sidelines rather than get involved. I watch my classmates interact with each other and I can see the patterns, the social dynamics. But I just can't seem to grasp the rules, the unwritten codes that everyone else seems to know.
It's not that I don't have friends, I have a few, but they're just not the kind of friends I imagined having when I was younger. I thought that by now I'd have a group of people who I could confide in, who I could laugh with and share my thoughts with. But that's not the case.
I often find myself lost in my own thoughts, trying to make sense of the world. I know I'm only 15, but I feel like I have a wisdom beyond my years. I see the world and the people in it, and I can sense the flaws, the inconsistencies. But at the same time, I don't have any answers, any solutions to the problems I see.
I know I'm different, and sometimes that makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I don't fit in with the crowds, I don't have the same interests as my classmates. I often feel like I'm just going through the motions, pretending to be someone I'm not. But who am I, really? That's the question that plagues me, the one that I can't seem to answer.
I'm not sure what I want from life, what my purpose is. I used to think that I had it all figured out, that I knew what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. But now I realize that I don't have a clue. I don't even know what I want to do after high school, let alone in five or ten years.
I see my classmates, and they seem to have it all figured out. They know what they want to study, what they want to do with their lives. They have plans, goals, aspirations. But what about me? I feel like I'm just along for the ride, going wherever life takes me.
I know that I'm smart, but I don't have the same drive as my classmates. They're all so focused, so driven. They know what they want, and they're willing to work for it. But I just can't seem to find that same fire within me.
I often feel like I'm stuck in a rut, like I'm going in circles. I don't know how to break out of it, how to find my place in the world. I just feel like I'm treading water, trying to stay afloat.
Despite all of this, I have a sense of peace. I know that I'll find my way eventually, that I'll figure out who I am and what I want. But until then, I'll continue to observe, to learn, to grow. I'll continue to search for answers, even if I don't have them yet.
I don't know what the future holds, but I have faith that it will be okay. I know that I'm not alone, that there are others out there who feel the same way I do. And I take comfort in that, knowing that I'm not the only one who's trying to.
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I'm Leon, Leon Blaze.
I'm just an ordinary 15-year-old boy, but sometimes I feel like I understand life a lot better than most people my age. I'm an introvert and I spend a lot of my time thinking about the world and how it works. I often find myself lost in my thoughts, trying to figure out the answers to the big questions like, "What is the meaning of life?" and "Why are we here?"
School life is difficult for me. I'm just a sophomore, but I feel like I don't fit in with any of the groups at my school. I'm not part of the popular crowd, nor do I fit in with the "nerds". I'm just kind of invisible, and sometimes I feel like no one even notices that I'm there.
But lately, there's been this girl who's been trying to get close to me. Her name is Lily and she's in some of my classes. I've never really talked to her before, but she always seems to be looking in my direction and trying to start a conversation. At first, I was skeptical, I thought maybe she was just trying to use me or make fun of me. But the more I talk to her, the more I realize that she's genuinely interested in getting to know me.
Lily is different from anyone I've ever met before. She's outgoing and talkative, but she also seems to have a deep understanding of the world, much like I do. We have long conversations about life and our dreams and fears. It's like she gets me in a way that no one else ever has.
But the thing is, I still don't understand why she's interested in me. I'm not popular, I'm not athletic, I'm not good-looking. I'm just a regular guy who likes to think and be by himself. But Lily seems to appreciate these things about me and she says that I'm one of the wisest people she's ever met.
I've never really thought of myself as wise. I just try to understand things and make sense of the world. But maybe that's what makes me wise. Maybe wisdom isn't about having all the answers, but about asking the right questions and trying to understand the world.
I still feel like I don't fit in at school, but now I have Lily who I can talk to and who makes me feel like I'm not so invisible after all. She's changed my perspective on life and has shown me that sometimes the things that make you different are the things that make you special.
I don't know what the future holds for me, but I'm grateful for Lily and the conversations we have. They've helped me to understand life a little bit better and to appreciate the world in a new way. I still have a lot to learn, but I feel like I'm on the right path, and that's a good feeling.