Amira Sinclair.
Present.
I stare at the digital weighing machine I am standing on in a daze.
39.300 grams it reads.
It's been 3 weeks since I last checked my weight when it was 38.800 grams and I can't seem to believe that I have gained half a kg more instead of losing the weight that I already gained.
I have skipped my breakfasts for a whole week thinking it would be enough to get back to my original weight which used to be 38kgs but that doesn't seem to be the case.
You should stop eating the food that Aunt Delilah keeps sending. That must be the reason why you can't seem to get your weight under control because once you start eating you don't know when to stop.
The monster inside my head admonishes.
Yes, that must be it.
I put the weighing machine back inside the cabinet under the wash basin of my bathroom and enter back into my room when my phone screen lights up.
Laura: Let's go to the arcade. It's been a while since we last went there. Get ready. Be there in 10!
Me: Okay.
I text back.
I enter my closet and change into light blue wide-leg jeans and a white full-sleeve top and a half-sleeve blue cardigan with my favourite white Nike sneakers and look at my reflection in the mirror.
I pull my hair on top of my head and twist it into a messy bun.
Feeling satisfied I check the time to see it's been 5 minutes and decide to leave the house and wait outside for Laura before she reaches here and starts honking the horn to signal me she is here.
I want to leave as quitely as possible without meeting anyone on my way out.
I slowly close my door behind me when I leave the room and make my way down the stairs.
As I am about to descend the last step I hear his gruff voice coming from the kitchen,
"Where are you going?"
I freeze but calm my nerves and descend the last step and turn towards the kitchen to come face to face with none other than my father, Mathew Sinclair,
Owner of one of the biggest hotel chains not in just the UK but the world.
At 5 foot 9, he is not that tall of a man but still, his presence makes me want to shrink and become as small as possible just so no one notices me. Dressed in a tailor-made suit Mathew Sinclair looks as regal as a businessman can, with a dust of grey hair on his head and wrinkles on his forehead he looks older than the last time I saw him.
I have my mother's blond hair, her small nose and her lips but I don't have her mocha-brown eyes and how I wish I did. The only feature that I have of my father is his eyes.
His blue eyes. Every time I stare at myself in the mirror I am reminded of the fact that I am not only my mother's daughter but I am his daughter too and I would give everything that I have to change it.
"Hi, Father. I didn't know you were home,"
I say, flustered at his sudden appearance.
He went to South Korea for an important business deal around three weeks ago and I didn't know he was back until now.
"That doesn't answer my question,"
Matthew snaps. I flinch at his harsh tone.
"I- uh- I am going to th- the Arcade with Laura,"
I stutter.
"With whose permission?"
He questions.
"I um-" I gulp. "Mindy is out on a weekend trip and she told me not to call her because she will be in a no-network zone and I won't be able to reach her,"
I answer.
"And what about me?"
He asks standing up.
I take a step back, involuntarily.
"You were on a- uhm business trip and I didn't want to disturb you so I didn't call,"
"So just because I am on a business trip you will come and go out of this house and do as you please, now?"
He stalks towards me and I take another step back.
"Who knows, one of these days you might pack your bag and run away just like your mother did, is that your plan, huh?"
He continues to walk forward and stops before me bends his upper body forward and angles his face right in front of mine making me feel small and vulnerable.
My breathing halts at the mention of my mother and I shake my head side to side in a "no".
"You can try. But for your benefit, I suggest you don't because you won't get too far. I will find you and when I do, you know the consequences you will face, don't you, sweetheart?"
I turn to stone at his words.
Don't dare breathe.
I nod my head, fervently.
"Answer me!"
He roars.
"Yes, si- sir."
I say, breathless.
"I will make sure to discipline you so nicely that you will never forget your lesson. Do you want that sweetheart, hmm?"
He continues, with false sweetness.
Patting my head as an affectionate father would.
"No, sir."
I cry.
And no matter how hard I try to suppress it with all my power but still the voice in my head lets out the lowest of whispers,
"I want to be free."