Desire was like a curse at times, gripping my body and mind as I lay in the dark space of my bedroom. The burning and aching for a faceless character a feeling that was bittersweet and fleeting yet I tried to hold on to it knowing it would only make things worse. I breathed a long sigh, opening my eyes to the outline of shapes in my room to stop the images from invading my mind. "I need to stop. He doesn't see you that way". I shifted the discomfort in my body pushing my face into the pillow to distract my mind as a sadness filled me.

It was fruitless to feel the ache in my heart and the call driving me to him. After all, soon I would be married away. I pushed the feelings that had budded and take root down, playing out the finality of my decisions would these dreams come true. Sadness, lust, remorse and pain were what awaited me if i changed my life's path now. The fates had challenged me as such to do so, but i was too much of a coward to jump into the unknown. Had I not agreed to this proposal as my father and mother beamed and insisted "he's a good match, he will bring honour to the family blood." I shrunk back wanting to make them proud and smiled back nodding. "Yes mother, yes father. I can't keep being so picky its time I chose a suitor so I can begin my life"