Alex contemplated his desire to rush over to Sarah's house at that very moment, despite the late hour of three in the morning. However, he hesitated, considering the awkwardness of appearing at the Johnson doorstep in his disheveled pajamas. Yet, deep down, he cared less about his appearance and more about ensuring Sarah got a good night's rest before he confronted her in the morning.
He couldn't fathom why Sarah was allowing Deliah's mistake to weigh her down. It was Deliah who had cheated and betrayed her, Deliah who had intentionally caused harm to herself. So why was Sarah burdened with guilt?
Alex wished he could adopt a more rational and unsympathetic mindset, treating the situation with cold-hearted judgment. However, he recognized that he was not a robot; he couldn't simply analyze things in such a detached manner. He had a connection with Deliah and could sense her rage, even if it was conveyed through someone else's words and read years later. He could feel her desperation.
The true shadow sister was not Sarah; it was Deliah. While Sarah had willingly chosen to be overshadowed by her sister, Deliah didn't want to live in her shadow. It was frustrating for Deliah to be attractive and adorable, yet unnoticed by others. She would try to stand out, but it was always her sister who received the attention.
Alex loved Sarah deeply, and he acknowledged that his viewpoint was biased because he understood why people favored Sarah over Deliah. Particularly in those earlier days, before everything had unraveled, Sarah must have possessed a charm that surpassed her current self. She was more outspoken, daring, and confident, yet still kind-hearted. Even Alex couldn't help but feel sorry for Deliah.
Cheating was undoubtedly a sinful act, and Deliah should never have engaged in such behavior. However, Alex couldn't help but question his own desires. Hadn't he secretly yearned for Sarah to reciprocate his feelings? What they had done tonight, the multiple kisses they shared and her admission of love, would that be considered cheating? Although they hadn't labeled their relationship, their hearts had become intertwined. That alone could be perceived as emotional betrayal.
Understanding Sarah's adamant stance on the matter became easier for Alex. She had experienced firsthand the pain of being on the receiving end of betrayal.
Dear Diary,
I feel like such a fool. It seems like fate has a grudge against me, a massive one at that. Why else would it orchestrate a situation where I fall for the same guy Liah likes? Again!
Destiny really enjoys playing tricks on me. Just when I was ready to sacrifice everything for Liah and had endured so much pain to shield her from suffering, it throws this curveball at me.
Today, Alex confessed his love for me. Just moments before he uttered those words, I realized that I loved him too. The rush of exhilaration that surged through me as I reveled in his touch was indescribable. The way he looked at me, as if I were the only person he saw, was captivating.
But then, that euphoria quickly transformed into a nauseating shock. I felt bile rise in my throat, and I wanted to gag. I despised myself.
How could I fall for Alex? How could I let love, after years of sacrificing for others, deal the final blow so mercilessly, so fatally? I'm utterly disgusted with myself, yet I can't bring myself to despise love itself. It wasn't my choice; it simply blossomed within me.
I love him. I love him so deeply. But I can't... I just can't.
I still remember that exact moment four years ago when I caught sight of Liam kissing Liah. The shock, the disbelief, the sense of betrayal—it was overwhelming. My ignorance of Liah's feelings caused her to lose two years of memories. She was unconscious for two weeks, and she nearly left me behind.
I can't bear to let her experience that magnitude of pain again. I can't allow anything to harm her.
I'm such a coward.
I wish I could be more assertive and resist Alex's advances. I wish I could keep my distance. I wish his gaze didn't melt me away.
But it's too late. I've already fallen in love with him.
**********
Alex awoke to the harsh sunlight streaming onto his face, causing him to squirm and squint. As the curtains were pulled apart, Mrs. James chuckled in amusement. "Oh, Alex, why haven't you woken up? Did you come home late last night?"
Rubbing his eyes, Alex groggily asked, "What time is it, mom?"
"It's ten in the morning. You usually wake up at eight, Alex. Did you stay up late?" Mrs. James absentmindedly dusted his room as she spoke.
Alex's eyes snapped open, and he leaped out of bed. "Shit! It's ten? I planned to be there by seven to talk to her!" He hurriedly made his way to the bathroom.
Mrs. James blinked in surprise. "Talk to who?"
"The love of my life!" Alex shouted, toothbrush still in his mouth.
Alex raced to the Johnson house in record time, his mind racing with a jumble of thoughts, unsure of how to express them. He kept the red leather-bound book in his coat and urgently knocked on the door.
He didn't know what he would say when he saw her, but he knew what he would do. He would hold her in his arms and never let go.
The door opened, and Mrs. Johnson blinked at him in surprise. "Oh, Alex! I'm glad you're here. Are you looking for Deliah? Come on in! She's still asleep. That girl can sleep till noon on Sundays."
"I'm here for Sarah," Alex said, looking past Mrs. Johnson urgently. "Where is she?"
"Sarah?" Mr. Johnson stood up from the breakfast table. "She went to the nearby park for a walk. She said she needed to clear her mind and had a lot on her plate—"
Mr. Johnson's voice trailed off as Alex sprinted away. "Wait, I haven't finished!" He shook his head, amused. "Oh well, such a devoted boyfriend, isn't he?"
Mrs. Johnson shot him a look. "Alex is Deliah's boyfriend. Matthew is the one dating Sarah!"
Mr. Johnson's eyes widened. "Oh, right! I keep mixing them up! These boys act so strangely, don't you think? It's hard to understand them. Or maybe it's just me, and what I perceive is different from reality. Actually...I have this feeling that Alex might be in love with Sarah, not Liah."
"Yeah," Mrs. Johnson frowned. She sighed softly, lost in thought, while her husband took the opportunity to escape.
Hey honey! But how could you not remember who's our daughter's boyfriend???"
**********
Alex rushed to the nearby park, berating himself as he took in its vastness. He should have asked Mr. Johnson where Sarah usually liked to stroll. He attempted to call her several times, but her phone was either switched off or out of battery. Regardless, she was unreachable.
As he ran around in a frenzy, Alex grew increasingly exasperated, desperately hoping to find her before he succumbed to exhaustion. People curiously glanced in his direction, observing a handsome young man with mismatched socks, a poorly buttoned shirt, and a pair of jeans with one leg rolled up and the other down. Alex must have appeared quite comical, but he paid no attention to his disheveled appearance. His gaze darted around, his heart pounding, as he scanned the park for any sign of Sarah.
"Sarah Johnson, where are you?" Alex muttered, panting lightly.
Suddenly, as if answering his prayers, he spotted a girl wearing a white t-shirt and faded denim shorts, sitting on one of the benches and staring blankly at the ground. It was her, his girl.
Alex rushed over to her, shouting her name as if it were the last time he would ever say it. "SARAH JOHNSON!"
Sarah blinked in surprise, her gaze slightly unfocused as she witnessed someone hurtling toward her. She let out a small gasp. "M-Alex?"
And then he reached her, pulling her off the bench and enveloping her in the tightest embrace possible. Alex held her even tighter, his breath coming in short gasps against her hair.
"I understand now. I finally understand," he whispered.
Sarah blushed, aware of the curious onlookers around them witnessing their public display of affection. She pushed him away slightly to look at him. "Alex, why are you here?"
Alex stared at her, searching her eyes, and his hands unconsciously brushed a stray curl away from her face.
"I know, Sarah," he muttered, his gaze locked with hers. "And I want you to know that I understand. But you have to let go."
Sarah blinked once, her gaze turning guarded. "What are you talking about?" she asked suspiciously.
Reluctantly, Alex released his arms from around her and pulled out the red leather-bound book from his coat. "I believe this belongs to you."
Sarah gasped, snatching the book from him, her face pale and shocked. "You had it? I thought...for a moment, I thought Liah found it!" She turned her head to glare accusingly at him. "You read it?"
Alex bit his lip, remaining silent.
"I can't believe you read it!" Sarah exclaimed, her voice shrill as she struck his chest. "It's an invasion of privacy! It's...it's...it's mean!" She sobbed. "You can't do that!"
Alex gently took hold of Sarah's hands, prying her clenched fists open, and let out a soft sigh. "I could say I'm sorry, but honestly? I'm not. I'm actually grateful that this book ended up in my bag without my knowledge. It allowed me to read about him, to know about Liam Thompson."
Sarah stiffened, her gaze fixed on the ground. "You know," she whispered.
"Yes, I know. I know he's a damn bastard for cheating on you. He's an ass for not appreciating you. He's scum for seducing Deliah into betraying you..." Alex murmured. "But Sarah, that's exactly what I'm doing too."
Sarah's eyes shot up to meet his.
"Because I'm still Deliah's boyfriend, but I love you. I want you. I need you. I wish you would respond to my touch. I cherish the way you blush," Alex whispered. "And you have to understand that falling in love is not a crime."
"But-"
"Cheating on Deliah is the crime, and I won't deny it. I did it. I strayed, or whatever you want to call it," Alex admitted, swallowing hard. "But Sarah, you have to let go. What happened four years ago was a mistake. Liam Thompson didn't truly love either of you; he was toying with your emotions. If he had chosen Deliah, he would have stayed by her side, but he didn't. He found a new girlfriend within a week. He's different from me, Sarah."
Sarah stared at him, searching his eyes.
"Because sacrificing sisterly love for someone like him is foolish. But I do love you, and I won't walk away like he did," Alex pleaded. "I'm not asking you to disregard everything, but I'm asking you to give us a chance."
"But Deliah-"
"Needs to learn how to cope with heartbreak. She caused you pain, and you survived, didn't you? She will too," Alex gently brushed her cheeks.
"Barely," Sarah whispered. "I barely survived. I don't want to see Liah go through something like that. I've seen her..." Sarah took a deep breath, struggling to hold back tears. "I've seen her rushed into the emergency ward. Bleeding and wounded, looking lifeless and beyond hope. I was convinced she would die, Alex. And when she didn't, I thought it was a gift from God. How can I inflict a similar pain on her again?"
"Do you think the pain will be any less if she finds out that I don't love her, and I love you instead?" Alex questioned. "Because I don't think I can hide it forever. She might suspect something, even now. I try to control my actions, but Sarah, I can't control where my eyes look. And they only look at you."
Sarah let out a sob, and Alex immediately wrapped his arms around her, swaying gently to offer comfort.
"She needs to learn to be independent, to pick herself up when she falls," Alex whispered softly. "You can't always be there for her, and you shouldn't sacrifice everything for her either. Yes, she'll cry, scream, and get angry about this. But once she moves on and finds someone who truly loves her for who she is, she'll find genuine happiness. Her happiness doesn't lie with me."
"Sarah, look at me," Alex said, tilting her chin up as Sarah trembled.
"Give us a chance. What happened four years ago wasn't your fault. It wasn't Deliah's fault either. Not even Liam Thompson's, although he deserves to be punished," Alex murmured. "It's just fate testing your resilience. And now fate is giving you another test. Don't let your notions of what's right confine us. By stopping Deliah, we're preventing her from finding her own happiness this way."
"And you're stopping yourself too."
Alex leaned his forehead against hers, his voice barely above a whisper. "Sarah Johnson, please, please, please... give us a chance," he pleaded against her lips.
Sarah stared into his eyes, acknowledging the truth in his words. Deep down, she knew he was right. Though the thought of doing to Deliah what had been done to her four years ago made her recoil, she understood that by intervening, she was preventing Deliah from finding her own happiness.
And she was also denying herself that chance.
Closing her eyes, Sarah pressed her lips against his, initiating a kiss for the first time. Alex responded instantly, tightening his grip and kissing her back.
It felt like sheer bliss.
After enduring months of waiting, speculation, worry, longing, pleas, and begging, she was finally his. His and his alone.
He would never let her go.
In that moment, it seemed as if they were the only two people in the world, and all the happiness in the universe was concentrated between them. Alex entwined his fingers through her hair, holding her tightly.
"I love you," Alex whispered. "And thank you for giving us a chance."
"I love you too," Sarah murmured, finally uttering those three words directly. "Thank you for not giving up."
And then, they kissed again.