At this point, i finally woke up and still feeling weak. My mom was still there by my side holding my hand. Now, i can actually talk well and i asked her "Mom, what happened?"
She replied "Let us just give all glory to God".
I disagreed with her, i wanted to know the truth and asked again "why am i in the hospital?". Then, my mom started again with tears and i just didn't know what to say anymore.
I wasn't happy 'cos i knew something bad had happened to me, Yes i remembered being raped but how i got there, how it all happened, how i got outta there, all these are the questions i needed answer to.
But it seems neither my mom nor anyone was ready to tell me what happened exactly.
I got discharged three days after with some medications to heal my wound but they were not enough to cure my wounded heart.
Few days later, i went to my mom's room, i sat by the side of her bed and she asked "My dear, how are you feeling now?".
"I am feeling better" i answered.
"But mom can you please tell me exactly what happened?".
She reluctantly answered.
If i'm to tell you, what are you going to do about it, darling just let it go".
Looking at my mom in the eyes, I said " I am broken mom, i feel useless and i don't know what i can do to myself, i need you to talk to me so i can conquer".
My mom couldn't hold in her tears and there she goes again. I was tired of crying, my eyes are swollen, I didn't have much appetite for food, i became lean and weak, i didn't feel like myself anymore.
Wiping away my mom's tears, I said " Mother,i know how much you love me but you just have to tell me the truth so that i can face my fear, pain and shame and defeat them".
Then, she replied "I will tell you what happened but promise me you won't take it to heart".
"I promise you, mom" I said with my hand on my chest.
My mom knows how much i try to keep to my promises, but at that point i had no choice 'cos i was desperate for answers.
My mom continued as she told me what happened:
"I got a call from our family doctor in the hospital, that my daughter has been brutally raped and shot, then i rushed to the hospital and of course you were been attended to, i had to wait for the doctor to come out of the emergency room, he came out and told me you were raped and was shot twice, one close to the shoulder and the other close to the heart and...."
"Wait mom" I cut in.
"But I was only shot once, as i can remember".