[LENA]
We walked along the forest trail, taking a long route back to the palace.
I spotted a butterfly in the distance and skipped up ahead to chase it foolishly. It led me to a grassy patch, where it met up with more butterflies hovering over purple wildflowers. I crouched and held out my hand. A butterfly landed on my finger, and I squealed in delight. I slowly walked back to Luca, keeping my hand steady.
"Luca, look!" I whispered excitedly. "It's so pretty!"
The butterfly's wings were bright blue outlined with black and white.
"It matches your eyes," he commented.
I giggled, and the butterfly took flight. I watched it flutter away until it finally disappeared behind the trees. Free.
"I should've been born a butterfly," I said absently.
"Who knows? Maybe you were a butterfly in your past life."
"Yeah, maybe I was." I smiled up at him. "So, what do you want to talk about?"
His face turned serious. He always looked serious, but since I knew him well, I could recognize even the slightest change in his mood. He beckoned me to continue walking with him.
"I'm going to be promoted to captain of your royal guard soon," he said.
"That's great news!" I exclaimed. "But isn't there already a captain?"
"I'm talking about your royal guard," he replied. "In a few years, part of your duties as the princess would include leaving the safety of the palace and traveling the land. I, alone, wouldn't be enough. You would require additional protection; that's why you would have your own retinue, the Princess's Guard."
I groaned. Great. More people following me around. It would be more difficult to escape, but at least Luca was still there. Didn't he say he was going to be the captain? Then he could order them to leave me alone. He was on my side, after all.
Besides, leaving the palace and traveling seemed to be very good news. I should've known about this already, but it was probably one of the lessons I zoned out of.
I grinned at him. "Congratulations, Luca. When is your promotion?"
He didn't smile back. Instead, he looked away. "A while. I still need to undergo training…" He trailed off and hesitated, seemingly troubled by something. He sighed. "Lena, I'm leaving."
"What?!" My hands flew to my mouth in shock. My brain was having difficulty processing what he had just said. Words I never expected to hear from him.
"It's not permanent!" he said quickly, seeing my reaction. "It's only for—"
"No!" I interrupted him, my voice rising. "I forbid you to leave me!" An ugly feeling surged through my veins, making me feel cold and empty.
"Let me explain." He placed his hands on my shoulders and leaned over so he would be at my eye level. I met his eyes with a glare, not bothering to hide my feelings. Whatever explanation he had wasn't acceptable. I felt betrayed. Angry. Hurt.
"Lena, please?" he said softly. "I'm only leaving temporarily for the promotional training, and this training would take me away from the kingdom."
"No! Don't take the promotion. Don't become a captain. Just don't go!" I said stubbornly. I fought back the hot tears that were welling behind my eyes. "Please, Luca. Aren't you happy being just my bodyguard?"
"Of course, I am," he answered. "But I am required to accept it, Lena. It is my duty. The commander's orders, which in turn, are the king's orders. I have to do it."
"I can talk to my father!" I argued. "He'll surely listen to me! He has to! He—"
"Lena."
I stopped rambling and fixed my accusing gaze on his dark eyes which were narrowed in worry beneath his thick eyebrows.
"I will do it," he said gently. "I want to do it. Your protection is my priority. It is my honor to lead your royal guard."
"Why can't they just train you here? Are we not competent enough? Is it really that elaborate?"
"It's customary. My father was the captain of the late Queen's guard, and he had to do it too. As with other members of the Royal Guard holding high ranks."
I bit my lip anxiously. Luca had shot down all of my arguments. "Where is it?"
"Argente Capital. An allied nation in the far south."
It sounded familiar. A place that might've been mentioned in my geography lessons that I hadn't paid attention to.
"But… when?" I asked weakly.
"In a week."
"And how long will you be gone?"
He hesitated, studying my face before answering. "Two years, at most."
"But that's too long! I'll be an old lady by the time you get back!"
Luca chuckled lightly. "No, eighteen isn't old."
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and looked away, unable to respond. Luca had always been by my side. I can't imagine life without him. It wouldn't be the same.
My bodyguard, my best friend. Gone.
I know I haven't been the perfect princess that I was expected to be; neglecting my duties, constantly escaping the palace… but I was only able to do it because I felt safe knowing that Luca was always there to find me and make me feel better whenever I got scolded for my misdemeanor.
Who will I talk to when he's gone? Where will I run to?
I relied on him too much.
My spirits sank. Even my heart ached.
"Lena?"
I wrapped my arms around my body and looked down. I couldn't meet his gaze or I would cry. My pursed lips were trembling slightly from being on the verge of tears.
"Hey, it's only for a while. I will be back before you know it."
The reassuring tone in his voice didn't help. I forced myself not to cry.
"And I'll bring you presents. Trinkets from foreign lands. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
Who cares about presents? I only want you to stay with me.
"Lena? Please?" he pleaded.
I took a deep breath and slowly lifted my head. He smiled at me, a sad smile. I guess he was feeling the same way as I was, but he was still trying his best to make light of the situation. I had to act like I was okay. Putting up a front, I was good at that.
"You're going to be lonely there, you know," I muttered. "You're going to miss me."
Luca's face brightened slightly at my tone. "Hmm, let's see. Two years without a mischievous princess constantly troubling me? I think I'll be okay."
"You're so mean!" I snapped. I turned on my heels and stalked away.
He laughed, and in two long strides, he blocked me.
"It was just a joke. Of course, I'll miss you," he said, no trace of humor in his voice. "You know, I'll be worrying about you every single day."
"Good," I muttered.
The week passed by quickly.
Before I knew it, the night of the full moon arrived. The night Luca would leave.
A horse-drawn carriage was waiting in the palace courtyard. I was given permission to stay up late just for tonight on the condition that my handmaid, Amelia, would be with me as I bid my final farewell to my bodyguard.
"Try not to get into too much trouble, alright?" Luca told me.
There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but I was suddenly tongue-tied. So I just nodded pathetically.
He looked at me, waiting for me to speak, and when I didn't, he smiled understandingly.
"I guess this is farewell, Your Highness," he said.
I still couldn't speak.
Luca gave me a courteous bow and started walking to the carriage.
I couldn't take it anymore.
"Luca!"
I ran up to him and threw my arms around his waist. He turned around and kneeled so he could hug me back. I clutched onto his neck, bawling on his shoulder.
It was the first time I cried after learning that he was leaving. I had kept myself together for so long, forcing myself to be strong, just to have everything crumble down at that very moment.
He was warm. A warmth that would soon disappear from my life. I know it's silly of me, but it felt like he was about to fade away. Forever gone. Like my mother. When she died, I was still too young to grasp the concept of loss. But the grief that overwhelmed me right now was more than my young heart could take.
"Hush, don't cry, My Princess," he said soothingly, patting my back. "It's going to be alright. I'll be back soon. There, there."
I sobbed, still unable to speak. This new emotion was confusing me, and I didn't know how to deal with it. With this separation. I hate goodbyes.
Luca waited for my crying to calm down before he gently pulled away. His eyes were glistening too. Or maybe it was just the moonlight's reflection. "Take care of yourself, okay? Promise me you'll be good while I'm gone?"
"I p–promise," I finally mustered out.
He wiped the tears away from my eyes with his gloved hand and stood up. I felt the weight of his hand descend on top of my head, and he ruffled my hair fondly. I realized it was the last time he would be doing that.
"Farewell, Your Highness. Little Lena."
With one last sad smile, he entered the carriage.
Then he was gone.
I watched the carriage leave the palace gates until it vanished in the distance, tears falling freely in my eyes, praying that he would be safe.
Please, come back to me soon.