I kept walking endlessly in the dark forest, randomly changing my direction when my mind felt like it. Marking the trees around me so I don't end up running in circles.
I had gotten hungrier as the day went by and I knew that my first priority had to be food. I tried to find something, anything, that I could put in my mouth and not die but in the dead forest, there was nothing. I realized that if I wanted to eat anything I would have to kill it as well.
What terrified me was that in an environment such as this there was no way that nature would let anything innocent exist. All the animals in this place were probably monsters adapted to fight and kill, from the smallest to the biggest.
I looked for any clue of life I could find but other than the monster last night I couldn't find anything else, not yet anyway. The presence of the monster was probably a trigger for the rest of the animals to hide. If I wanted to find anything, I had to either find them myself or make myself look like a tasty meal.
I chose the latter option as I was the fish out of water in this situation, finding a hidden animal in a place like this would be like finding a needle in a haystack. The easier thing to do was to become bait to bring all the other big fish out.
I had been sure to remain silent until now, especially with the threat of the large monster, but it was now or never. I thought It would be okay to stay hungry but not eating meant not having any energy, and at that point, I would be a standing target anyway. What I was about to do next would be a complete coin flip, the monster I encountered yesterday was probably still in this jungle and luring it straight to me was not something I wanted to do.
I grabbed my spear tightly as my body started shaking in fear, I knew what I had to do but I didn't know if I had the strength to do it. My lips were shaking, my mind wanting them to open but my heart kept them shut. I closed my eyes and started breathing heavily before opening my eyes and screaming out loud. There was nothing more attractive to a predator than a noisy animal, especially one that sounded injured.
I quickly ran behind a tree, and the dead bark made many cracks in it that made it easy to climb up. Now, all I had to do was wait and hopefully, whatever came was not something that could kill me instantly.
I didn't have to wait long and within a few minutes I could hear the leaves on the ground ruffling, the footsteps thankfully very light. As the footsteps got closer I raised my spear to catch it off guard but the minute it came out in the open, my arm froze.
The only thing I could describe it as was a rabid jackal, eyes blood red, its breath panting and dripping with saliva. Its canines are long and sharp, better described as fangs and its claws long and bared. It started circling around the area, looking for its prey, probably expecting an easy kill, expecting the prey to be injured. At the centre of the canopy, the Jackal stood still, bending its neck down to smell the ground, probably my own scent as I was standing right there just a few minutes ago.
I swallowed my saliva as I realised that this was my chance, the jackal was still and distracted, I pulled the spear behind my head, aiming at the jackal. If I missed I would probably die, there was no way that the jackal would not notice and with claws like that, It would climb the tree in no time.
As I used all my power to throw the spear, I closed my eyes at the last moment out of fear and when I opened my eyes my heart sank, the spear was lodged into the ground, right next to its neck and I could hear the jackal start growling as it looked up at me, directly staring into my eyes.
The very next instant it ran to the tree, using its large claws to climb up it. I grabbed the branch I was on and started crawling forward away from the trunk but the branch was getting smaller and smaller and I was getting cornered. The Jackal was now on the same branch, approaching me slowly, almost playing with me. I looked down at the ground and looked at the spear right below me now, my only weapon now feet away from me. I was cornered on the tree and I couldn't stay here any longer.
I grabbed the branch with my hands and started hanging freely from it and the jackal was visibly surprised. I looked down at the ground and closed my eyes as I let go of the branch and fell down, I tried to cushion my fall as much as I could but I could feel some pain. As I caught my breath, I ran towards the spear and try to dislodge it from the ground. I staggered to the ground as it finally came free, I turned around and as I looked up I saw the jackal leaping onto me from the branch.
I put the handle of the spear in front of me and as the jackal landed on me with its mouth open, I shoved the handle of the spear into its mouth as it bit. The jackal was lashing its head and biting down on the handle harder. The handle wasn't going to hold any longer and as the heavy body of the jackal pushed down on mine. I heard a loud crack of the handle breaking in two. One side with the spear still attached and the other now a useless stick. The jackal took its head back for a split second, just to open its mouth wide open coming down on me.
In that split instant, purely out of instinct, I turned the handle of the spear towards the jackal and stabbed it deep into its neck. I heard loud whimpering as a pool of blood covered me entirely. The Jackal staggered away and collapsed a few feet away. Its body still shaking and its muscles still twitching.
I laid there on the ground for a good few seconds, covered in blood and saliva. My hands on my head and my eyes closed. I could feel the adrenaline rush causing my heart to beat faster and my breath becoming shallow and fast. I got up and used the remaining cloth on my shirt to wipe the blood of my face and walked up towards the jackal. Its corpse now still, but I was still vigilant as I approached it.
I removed the spear from its neck and looked at the blade, It was pretty worn out but I figured it could be used one more time before it became useless...and that time would be now as I realised I would need to skin the jackal if I wanted to eat anything because the animals hide was too thick.
As I got to work, there was a calm moment of peace as I was doing the mundane task. I was finally able to think for once and not suppress my thoughts like I had been doing since yesterday when I was in my old world. I had time to truly think after all this time....I had been consciously and unconsciously pushing my thoughts deep into the recesses of my mind. I was afraid, afraid of my emotions, afraid of hurting myself.
It was just easier to be numb and fill myself with anger than process everything else. Anger at Arisa, anger at Akira, anger at the king for bringing me here and stealing my life away. I was consumed by it. So much so that I just accepted everything that was happening to me, my life had been uprooted but I just felt like I deserved it, I was angry but more than anything I was angry at myself. I was weak, I ran away from all my problems, I chose to hide instead of fight. Until now I had been using my anger to run away from everything, my pain, my situation, and my feelings.
I didn't know what to do, I was as confused as ever, I didn't know what to do with my feelings, my thoughts, my situation. I didn't know what to do with myself. Should I curse the world for putting me into this scenario where everything had gone downhill, the person I cared the most about betrayed me, I didn't know If I would ever meet my family and friends again, I didn't even know if I would even live to see another day...Or should I blame myself, maybe it was my fault all of this happened, maybe I deserved it for being weak, being average, being nothing special. I just didn't know....
The anger in me just kept increasing, consuming my every thought, every emotion, every cell in my body as I tore the flesh apart from the jackal. I knew my face was distorted and my eyes filled with rage. My teeth grinding against each other, my fists tearing through the flesh without any technique, just anger.
And as I finished and looked at all the flesh and skin that I had carved, I looked at my hands and felt my face covered in blood, flaking off my skin. And as I looked down I started laughing, cynically, almost crazily. Tears were being forced down my eyes, and my stomach was in pain with the hysteria. At that moment I realized that I was glad that I had that anger, I was glad I was filled with rage, I was glad I threw my emotions away because it was my anger that was keeping me alive and it was that anger that was going to save me from this hell....