She wasn't sure when she realized it. It couldn't have been more than several years ago, if she really thought on it. It would make a lot more sense if she put it that way. For some reason or another, she was now fully understanding everything. It was now falling on top of her like a tidal wave. This unseen force was slowly drowning her, crushing her lungs with such a force that she had to take a step back and recompose herself. It was slowly weighing her down, causing her feet to drag across the ground, feeling that she would crumble into a formless pile. She had known that there was something. There was this tingling sensation in the back of her mind, that led her to this conclusion. This realization.
She was in love.
Ah love was such a bizarre concept yet it was ordinary at the same time. Why? Well, it was simple, she easily and freely loved, it was not straightforward but it was not complicated either. At least not for her, because it came so naturally, like breathing. She knew this emotion all too well. She grew up surrounded and engulfed in the warm feeling. She gave it out so easily, showering anyone with it, that is, if they were willing to receive it.
Being in love was nothing new to her. It was with who, that surprised her. How could it have managed to be him of all the available options? Of course, there was nothing wrong with him. Gods no, he was absolute perfection in her eyes, which would have surely caused a disgusted snort from her younger self (should she feel so indulgent to tell her former self). From those eyes that held such life and raw emotion, just like the warring waves in the ocean. From that once squeaky prepubescent voice that had somehow managed to become such a low baritone of a purr. From that sun kissed skin that stretched over his, if not flawless, muscles built over of years of training and endless determination. From the way he carried himself, long ago shedding that shell he had once been. From how he treated everyone equally, never quick to judge another being. He was hands down, perfection to her. He simply did not follow the guidelines that she had established ,at a young age, as her perfect match.
He was not calm and mysterious. He did not brood in the background, feigning disinterest with dark eyes. He never shut anyone out. He never craved the feeling of being alone, in his own solitude, seeing how it would go against his virtue and morals. He did not defect from his beloved Village that had treated him so scornfully, in order to seek the truth. In order to gain power. He would never hurt those who cared about him. He would never intentionally hurt those who didn't know him. He would never break bonds because those were so important to him. He would never take back the promises that he had given to hopeful hearts. He was not dark and stoic.
He was different than the first guideline she had created.
He was not a genius, well maybe he truly was, but not to the standard that would have him recognized. He didn't think of countless upon countless of strategies in less than a few minutes. He was not lazy and didn't prefer to avoid responsibilities by gazing at clouds. He never said anything was troublesome because when it came to things he found important, he put his all into the activity. He was not a would be lover, ruined by a bond that can only be seen as sibling adoration. He was not someone who smelled of smoke, trying to cope with the loss of a love teacher, a second father. He was not someone captured and enthralled by a strong willed foreigner. By a woman who commanded his attention and piqued his desires since they were just barely falling into the roles of Chunin. He was not someone who sought for love in a different village, not that she held any form of ill will towards said foreigner. It had taken time but she quickly saw that they were, without a doubt, perfect for one another.
He was different than the second guideline she had created.
He was not socially inept, he rivaled her status when it came to knowing the 'who's' and 'what's' that was floating around their village. He was not raised to merely be a tool. He was not taught to feeling nothing, for his emotions and reactions were so unfiltered and unrefined. He was not artistic, skilled when it came to matters that involved ink and canvas. He did not wear such false emotions upon his face (which had taken her a matter of seconds to deduce that they were not genuine, however she played along). He doesn't call people names that they aren't. He doesn't try to lie to anyone, in order to fit in. He doesn't lead people along with a string of beautiful and unnecessary words, making her believe that she had found love in her perfect match. He was not a replacement, a replica of her first love.
He was different than the final guideline she had created.
She knew, however, that she had no right to be in love with him. She knew that is was wrong to even pine for him in the silent manner she did. She knew that the basis of her affections wouldn't make any real sense because it was so cliche. She had joked about falling for him, years after the inkling of an infatuation had blossomed. After the casual joke, his face and voice began to pop up in her mind, more often than not. She knew she had no right because in the past although it had been forgiven, far too yieldingly, her feelings were negative towards him.
Yes, she had fallen for a boy, no, man that she had been discourteous to in the past. Now, sure, she had been just a child, easily influenced by the adults around her. She simply followed suit to how they treated him not realizing that it was wrong. She had called him names as he acted disruptive in class and throughout the Village, because that was the only way to show how lonely he was. She had chided at him for being unintelligent, dead last. She had sneered at him for being unable to create a successful and basic Clone Technique. She had done wrong by him, simply because she could get away with it, like the adults.
She could not forgive herself, her Academy self. As she grew older, she still held little to no interest for him but her feelings slowly evolved, as the flow of time continued on. Especially during the Chunin Exams. She found a new respect for him and his Team as a whole. She then found herself curious about him, wanting to know more about him. She tried to seek him out, to become better acquaintances, much to his necessary and innate caution. She even went on a few low ranked missions with him and despite their similar temperament and disposition, she always had a blast being around him. He was like the Sun.
He was different that the Moon she had idolized so long ago.
Their budding...friendship...relationship? Whatever it was at the time, ended all too soon when he left to train with the Toad Sage. To become strong enough to bring back his counterpart, the Moon.
Three years.
There was a part of her that didn't care that he left. There was a part of her that was disappointed that she couldn't see where they could've gone. There was a part of her that was angry that he simply left, even though she knew that it was what he needed. There was a part of her that cried as fear struck her heart, wondering if he would actually come back. There was a part of her that was empty.
Lonely.
But she was digressing. She had no right to love him in this pitiful manner. Why? Well, she knew that his eye would never looked around to seek hers. She knew that his eyes wouldn't light up with delight by seeing her face. She knew that his face wouldn't turn a slight shade darker when he saw her. That the smile that was on his lips would never be meant for her eyes only. She knew that he would never be hers.
She was not strong, despite the years of training that she had spent underneath the tutelage of four proud and wonderful Shinobi. Despite what she had been trying to convince herself all this time, she was a fragile being. She didn't possess that near perfect Chakra Control. She didn't posses the affinity to heal so precisely. She didn't possess the capabilities to keep someone she cared for alive. Or at least not at that point in her life. She didn't have eyes that glittered a bright jade when the sun hit them perfectly at high noon. She didn't have eyes that reflected the leaves that caused the name of their Village. She didn't have eyes that darkened into hard gems, when her emotions were increasing and the stakes were high. She didn't have that bond with him. That special bond that he would risk his life over and over again for her, if it was just to keep her smiling and hopeful. She didn't capture his heart at a young age, inspiring him to aspire to become strong, just to prove that he was worthy for her. She didn't have hair that caused everyone to remember that the trees here looked magical during the Spring.
Yes, she was intelligent. Yes, she was loud and commanding. Yes, she was strong, in the areas that came naturally to her. However all of that was dull in comparison to the person who captured his heart so fully.
She could admit, at least to herself, that she had fallen in love with Uzumaki Naruto.
Who wouldn't have fallen in love with him? He had proved himself time and time again that he was worthy to be the proud Shinobi that he was today. He had exuberant warmth and affection, making it extremely difficult to despise him. He had opened his heart and mind to all those around him, exposing his hidden secrets. He had done it in such a way that she had been unable to hold back her tears. Guilt from the past began to bubble up inside her chest, causing her to regret her decision to follow the examples those older than her had set. He had been afraid of rejection yet he exposed himself anyways. All she could do at that time was accept him, because he deserved it.
He deserved so much more than what she could possibly ever give him. Who was she to want him only for herself? He wanted to give all of himself to the people that had treated him so poorly, he wanted them to love and respect him. She had no right to try to take that away from him. She had no right to take away the Hero of their Village. She had no right to try to steal him from his long time crush. She had no right to wrap him up in her arms when the Hyuuga Heiress had proudly confessed her love to him, disregarding her own close call with Death.
She, Yamanaka Ino, had no right to yearn for Uzumaki Naruto.
But Gods, did she.
She wished it was simple, but love was not simple. It was not simple but it was not difficult either, it was simply something that was and forever will be. However, she truly wished it was easy for her. That this thing that had for her dear friend would away into a love that she had for a sibling, yet it remained.
Especially after he had helped to avenge the death of her beloved Teacher. Especially after he had protected not only her but all of the Shinobi on the battlefield against Uchiha Obito and Madara. Especially after he saved the world, alongside his former Team, against Ootsutsuki Kaguya.
And especially, after the War, when they had proper time to mourn for their losses. When he had found her staring at the engraved name of her late father. When he had so forcefully pulled her into a tight embrace that she forgot how to breathe. She forgot that she was Yamanaka Ino and he, Uzumaki Naruto. When he pulled away from her, his eyes staring down at her tear stained face, wiping away the tears that continued to fall. She forgot that she was hiding her feelings for him and simply thought that maybe, just maybe that he cared for her in the same manner. When he held her for so long, that her knees grew weak and he caught her, remaining as she fell to ground in despair. He remained.
Try as she might, she couldn't rid herself of these feelings. She was stuck in this platonic limbo, unable to find the courage to confess and unable to find the reason as to why it would work. She knew that over time, she would move on. That was simply how life worked, that was simply how she worked. She had grown over time, able to move on from the past encounters she had faced with Love. But for now, she had to swallow the lump in her throat that rose whenever she watched her friends interact with one another. She had to watch him worship the very ground that her best friend walked on. She had to hear him call out her best friend's name so affectionately. She had to do all of this, in the name of love, because he deserved this happiness. This happiness that held no future with her.
She would never dare try to ruin that for him.
She would love him the only way she could, given that status of their camaraderie, she would love him from a distance. She would support him and all the decisions he chose to make. She would love him right and that was that.
No matter what happened.
Was it possible to be cursed? Was it possible that certain convictions and decisions that she made in the past, would cause her to end up in this situation? Was it possible to go back in time and strangle her precious self?
She recounted the events that had recently transpired, as she flipped the OPEN sign of the Yamanaka Flower Shop to CLOSED. A frown touched her lips as she rested the palm of her hand on the back of the sign, fingers tapping on the piece of board. She shook her head slightly as she turned away from the door, after locking it. She grabbed a clipboard from the counter before she meandered through the store, writing down what needed to be stocked and ordered.
The door chime clanked together in a messy jingle, signalling that a customer had arrived. She paused her ministrations, her well trained ears picking up the dull sound. Wiping off the perspiration that dotted her forehead, she stood up, wiping soil covered hands on the front of her apron. How strange. Wednesdays were days when she spent most of her time tending to the fickle plant life in the Greenhouse or potting the new seedlings that had arrived in an early morning shipment, in the back room. It wasn't often that customers came in during this day but nonetheless, she knew that it would be good for business.
Quickly, she made her way out of the Greenhouse, jogging to the open back door, she felt a familiar tingle run down her spine. Normally, she didn't try to sense who the customer was for it was rare that a Shinobi would come here, unless to give her a Mission Scroll. However, there was this low and steady pulse that reached out to her and instinctively she allowed her Chakra to expand, seeking out who was at the front of the shop. She felt her heart flutter and palpate briefly, the Chakra Signature immediately placing a face within her mind. Swallowing thickly, she gave herself a moment to ease her increasing nerve while placing a small smile on her lips as she came through the threshold of the door.
"Naruto," she called out as her teal eyes landed on the person leaning against the counter, his eyes trailing around the store, looking at the new inventory that had arrived. He perked up when he heard his name, sapphire orbs flickering over to her, a smile coming to his lips. She let out a shaky breath, his reaction catching her off guard brief. She unconsciously wiped her hands off on the apron once more. "I didn't expect you of all people to come here today."
"Hey Ino," he replied to earlier greeting before he squinted his eyes, brow crinkled slightly as he took mild offense to her last statement. "Any why wouldn't I want to come here?"
She smirked at the pout that formed on his lips and she let out a small laugh. A shrug lifted her shoulders and the back of her hand brushed off the trail of sweat that was racing down the side of her face. "You have to ask why? Let's see, the last time you came to my humble shop was when you needed flowers for Lady Tsunade's birthday and that was…" She allowed the sentence to hang, tilting her head at an angle before tapping her chin in mock thought.
"One month ago," the darker blonde replied, his voice dropping low as the sudden realization hit him.
"Right," she confirmed. "So you can see why I feel that you don't want to come here."
"Sorry Ino," he said with a deep bow of his head. She wasn't sure if he was waiting for a blow to the skull or apologizing. She was sure he was used to Sakura's violent display of affection, so she had to hold back the snort that almost left her. She reached out and ruffled the top of his head, causing him to look up at her in surprise.
"It's fine, Naruto, I know that you have many responsibilities to handle as of late," she responded with a gentle smile, retracting her hand from his hair, fingers tingling at how soft his locks felt. She had to regain herself. She didn't need her true feelings to be exposed. She just had to be there for when he needed her and she supposed he needed her right now. She followed his earlier stance, leaning her elbows on the countertop and glancing up at him. "So, tell me, what do you need today? Flowers? Herbs? Or perhaps, you need advice on how to land a date with Forehead?" She finished as a sly grin caused her lips to curl in a feline fashion.
The male before her was silent for a few moments, processing a few thoughts of his own. He shook his head and leaned back over the counter as well, a low chuckle leaving him. His voice dropped down to a softer tone, that way no one who came in would hear their conversation. "Actually, I was hoping that you could help me get Sakura and Sasuke together."
"It'll never work, Naruto," she huffed out, her own disappointment rising. Of course, he would come to ask her how to get a date with Sakura, it made sense. She knew Sakura better than anyone else or so she hoped she still did. "She only has eyes for-" She paused as her thought process was interrupted as his words finally settled in. She slammed the palms of her hands on top of the counter. "Wait...are you serious?"
He blinked a few times, wondering if she was feeling well. He tilted his head to the side as he watched the surprised expression come to her face. A frown touched his face before confusion took hold of him. "Why wouldn't I be? Are you feeling well, Ino?"
"I'm the one who should be asking you that," Ino sighed out, pinching the bridge of her nose. "So it is my understanding that you, Uzumaki Naruto, want to get the girl that you have longed for, for years, with your best friend, correct?" Her eyes narrowed and she leaned forward towards him, studying every little detail on his face, wondering if he had something up his sleeve. "Why?"
A slight pink tint touched his cheeks as he scratched one side of his face nervously. His eyes glanced off to the side and he found himself leaning away from the intense gaze of the lighter blonde. "W-Well, now that the War is over and I've had more opportunities to think about...everything, I came to the conclusion that Sakura can only love me like a friend. I know that I will never compare to Sasuke in her-"
He was silenced by the hand she raised immediately, a frown touching her lips. She didn't want to hear him compare himself to Sasuke. She knew that she wouldn't be able to control the words that would've left her. She knew that all her hard work would be ruined. She let out a heavy breath, looking back at the confused face of the male before her.
"Fine, I'll help you," she said in an annoyed huff.
"Really," he exclaimed with joy though it was only short lived as his own scrutinizing gaze fell upon her. He leaned forward, mimicking the exact same stance that she had prior.
"What?" She snapped out, not enjoying having the tables flipped on her.
"Aren't you still in love with Sasuke?" He questioned.
The question itself had caused her mind to cease working. The cogs and wheels in her mind stopped turning and she stood there with her mouth agape. How dare he ask her such a question, out of the blue. This wasn't about her feelings, this was about helping those two boneheads. She almost wanted to grab the front of his shirt, drag him across the counter and yell at him for even thinking that she still had feelings for that traitorous fool. Even though she understood that he had changed his ways, she still couldn't forgive all the pain that he had caused to her closest friends. She wanted to confess that her feelings were solely focused on the male awaiting her reply. She held back, however, the courage to do so was not found. The fear of rejection made her blood run cold. What also came across her mind, was the question if she still acted like she was in love with him. Did she truly seem hung up on him or any of the other false hopes that she had had in the past. Clearing her throat, she let out a low and steady breath.
"No, I'm not," she sighed out. "I gave up on that sort of thing a long time ago. My friendship with Forehead is far too important than some...boy." With a wave of her hand, she dismissed the topic before any ill feelings began to rise in her chest. "Besides this isn't about you or me, right? However, I am curious, why are we doing this? If they want to be together then they will be, eventually."
Naruto furiously shook his head, eyes narrowing slightly. "They're both too stubborn for that. Knowing that bastard, he'll ask her out when they both lay on their deathbed. That's why we have to work together to get them in a relationship as soon as possible, or else it'll never happen."
Ino nodded in agreement knowing that Sakura would never make the first moves. Not after all those years of professing her love for him and getting no response. Even if the pink haired Medic had grown in confidence and strength over the years, when it came to the male of her affections, she was fragile and weak, like many in love. "Why do you care so much," she asked, her curiosity piquing.
Naruto blinked before a gentle smile came to his face, he leaned across the counter his arms draping over the glass countertop, his wrists dangling over on the opposite side. He wiggled his bandaged fingers, as he continued to collect his thoughts. He rested his chin in between his arms, before rolling his head to the side, resting one side of his face on the right arm. His smile never faded away.
"I've grown up being on a Team with the two of them and despite my best efforts, Sakura has always loved Sasuke. Sure, I know she cares about me but it will never amount to what I feel for her." He let out a heavy sigh, as if he were still trying to recover from such a conclusion. "As for Sasuke, I know that what he has done can not easily be forgiven. But after all these years, I want to believe that he still held feelings for us. During our final battle, he could've killed both of us, but he hadn't. He could've abandoned Sakura when we fought against Kaguya. He could've done more than my arm. He could've done all these things but he hadn't. He still cared about us and that's why I want to help. They deserve it."
She was speechless. Never had she heard him speak so...calmly about his two teammates. Watching him speak about the two he cared about was mesmerizing. The way his eyes would shimmer with affection and fondness. The way his mouth would slant into a crooked grin, as he recalled the memories. The way he seemed to radiate and glow with overwhelming warmth. Surely, Sakura had to know the opportunity that she was missing. Surely, Sasuke understood what kind of threat Naruto could have become. And of all times, she wished that she could be the reason behind his smile. The reason behind such an unconditional love.
"I understand," she said gently, finding that she too, was smiling affectionately at his reasons. "I don't know how much harder I can push Forehead, but I'll do my best."
"Thanks Ino! You're a really great person." Naruto said with a brilliant smile.
She felt her heart clench, knowing that he was wrong. She wasn't a good person. She was seething and drowning in jealousy. She knew that she still had no chance to be with him, even though he was giving up on the idea of dating Sakura. He didn't understand these tainted feelings that she had. He didn't understand that she wished he cared for her in such a way.
"Anyways, I was thinking that the two of you could go eat at-"
She sighed as she hung the chart she had been scribbling on the back door. She gave the front area one final sweep of the eye, before she turned off the light. Locking the back door, she slowly ambled up the stairs to her left, headed to the apartment above the shop. After the War had ended, she had built a place above her Father's Shop, her old home destroyed when Pein attacked. With dragging footsteps, she made her way to her bedroom, falling into the comforts of her cold sheets. Letting out a heavy sigh, she supposed that she could live with this. Watching those around her fall in love, while she waited for someone to catch her eye. Well, someone who could love her in the way she wanted to be loved. She supposed that this is what she could do for her friends. This was what she could do for Naruto.
No matter how much it stung.