Mad
"Manang, paki sabi sa driver na sunduin ako sa Airport. Parating na ako." I called manang before I boarded the plane. Walang airport sa Santa fe but my dad can make some arrangements. Nagpaalam na ako sa mga empleyado namin sa resort and nag pasalamat sa alaga nila. Wala silang alam tungkol sa kalagayan and I think it's better that way.
It was a short ride going back home lalo na dahil naka eroplano ako. Pag dating ko sa airport nakita ko kaagad ang driver at sasakyan namin. Dinaluhan nya ako at kinuha ang mga gamit ko.
"Ma'am, uwi na po ba tayo?" Kuya Edgar asked when we got inside the SUV. "No kuya. Deretso tayo sa Chong Hua, may appointment ako ng check up." I replied looking outside the window as kuya Edgar drove to the hospital.
Is it right to stay here? Sobrang liit ng Cebu para sa aming tatlo and to be honest, ayaw ko silang makita. Lalo ng ayaw ko makita nila ang anak ko. Hell I don't even want them to know about my pregnancy. I'm not gonna hide this but I don't want those two to know either.
Pag dating ko sa ospital pumunta na ako sa mga clinic ng doctor at hinanap ang clinic ng OB na napili ko. When I found it I quickly went in and hindi naman masyadong maraming tao. "Shantal Sy." I told the secretary when she smiled at me. "Okay po, mabuti at nandito na kayo dahil you're next po."
Hindi ako matagal na naghintay at nakapasok din kaagad. "Good morning, Shantal! Wow, lalo kang gumaganda just like your mom." Pag bati ni doc Gomez, my mom's OB and a very good one. I smiled at her and nag beso na rin before gesturing me to sit on the chair in front of her desk.
I didn't waste any time and I told her about my pregnancy. She was shocked at first and asked a lot of questions then proceeded on the check up. She did a ultrasound scanning and I was lost for words when I saw my baby. Sobrang liit pa nya pero makikita mo na. A tear fell while I was staring at the screen of where my baby is.
I really am pregnant. I'm a mom now.
She told me about what I should do and not do. Gave me more vitamins and more instructions. "So, does your dad know?"
"Hindi pa. But I'll tell him later. Ang dami ko pang iniisip, doc." I replied and sighed massaging my temple. "Asan ang daddy ng baby mo?" She asked carefully because she knows this is a sensitive topic.
"Wala doc, eh. Ginawa ko to mag Isa." I joked to hide what I truly feel. She gave me an apologetic smile and held my hand.
"Basta, bawal ma stress okay? Drink your vitamins, milk and eat well and healthy." She added and smiled at me. I nodded and thanked her before going out para maka uwi na. I need to talk to dad. Dami ko pang kailangan ayosin. Hindi ko pa nakakausap si Irene, I bet naloloka na yun.
Pagkatapos ko mag bayad sa secretary ni Doc umalis na kaagad ako bringing the small plastic that contains my vitamins and my hand bag. I called Manong Edgar and waited in the lobby for my car.
Natatakot akong mag sabi kay daddy pero I need to. Kahit anong mangyari, one thing is for sure. Paninindigan ko ang anak ko kahit mag isa.
Hindi nagtagal dumating din ang sasakyan ko sa harap ng lobby and I walked towards it and the guard opened it for me. I thanked him and closed the door when I got in.
"Uwi na tayo, Manong." I said and looked back in the lobby. All the pain came back when I saw Tristan in the lobby with Rose beside him. Kakalabas lang nila sa elevator and he was giving Rose a bottle of water while holding her bag. Malaki na ang tyan ni Rose, baka galing din sila sa check up.
Damn, sobrang sikip ng Cebu para samin. Hindi man kami nagkasalubong ngayon siguradong sa susunod baka mag kasalubong na kami.
I sighed and wiped my tears away and rubbed my belly. We're okay, baby. Kaya natin to.
Tristan looked okay. Sila na ba? Kailangan ko din sya, kailangan namin sya pero I won't beg anymore.
Whatever. Bagay kayo, mag sama kayo.
When I got home I expected daddy to be home pero hindi ko inakala na hindi pa ako nakakababa ng SUV nasa bukana na sya ng bahay. Kinabahan ako bigla. I opened the door immediately and went out only to be greeted by dad's frown.
"Dad, you're home." I smiled and hugged him and he hugged me back too. I heard him sigh when we pulled away and placed his hands on his pocket. "Let's talk in my office now." He said before turning his back on me and walked to his office. Manang hugged me tight saying she was so nervous when I left and that I should never do that again.
"Ilang ulit pumunta si Tristan dito at hinahanap ka pero nung nalaman ng daddy mo ang nangyari sobrang nagalit ang daddy mo at may restraining order na kay Tristan." My eyes widened at what manang said.
What?! Lumayo na nga ako pero bakit mas lalo lang gumulo? I didn't say anything after what manang said. Tulala lang ako sa kawalan.
"Samahan na kita patungo sa office ng daddy mo. Tara na." She said and escorted me to dad's office when she noticed that I was just spacing out. When we got there dad was already sitting on his chair. "Manang, paki arrange nalang ng mga gamit ko sa kwarto." I instructed and sat across daddy.
"No." I heard daddy say to manang and my eyes narrowed at what he said. "Pack the rest of her things." Daddy added and I got up from my chair nervous and confused. "What? Dad what's happening?" I asked and walked closer to him and leaned my hands on his desk. Pinaalis muna ni daddy si manang asking her to leave us alone.
"Shan, may gusto ka bang sabihin sakin?" Sa tanong palang ni daddy sobrang kaba na ang naramdaman ko. Sobrang lakas ng pintig ng puso ko. But hindi ba assuming lang ako masyado? Wala pa namang ibang nakakaalam tungkol sa pag bubuntis ko, eh.
He's probably just asking about what happened to me and Tristan.
"I'm sorry for the mess, dad. I'm sorry if I left just like that. Naguluhan lang talaga ako masyado." I replied looking down to my feet as I heard him sigh.
"Yeah and you even risked your baby." He said casually and my eyes widened in shocked. How did he know? Tears started to build up in my eyes because of fear and pain. "I wasn't expecting this from you, shan. You're a smart girl pero bakit ka nag pa buntis sa lalaking niloko ka lang? I thought you knew better." His words stabbed me hard in the chest, sobrang sakit.
"I-I'm sorry, dad.." Was all I could say and I couldn't even look at him. "I am very disappointed, Shantal. You're only 21, you have not graduated college yet. I only want what's best for you! Gusto kong murahin ka at magalit dahil ayokong matulad sayo ang magiging apo ko! I expected so much from you na mabibigyan mo ng kompleto na pamilya ang magiging anak mo pero wala na, eh. Nandyan na yan at kahit paano apo ko yang dinadala mo." He replied and stood up and started walking around his office.
"Kahit masakit sa akin to ang nangyari sayo, hindi parin kita pababayaan. Alam ko naman shantal na marami kaming pag kukulang ng mommy mo pero kahit ganun we tried our best to give you a good life at hindi ko hahayaan na saktan ka nalang ng ganon ganon ng mga taong yun. You are a Sy, my goodness!" He added and I just cried even more feeling the pain in my father's voice. Hiyang hiya ako sa ama ko, sa mga magulang ko! Kung nandito lang ang Lola ko siguradong disappointed din sya.
"Hinding hindi ako makakapayag na makalapit ang punyetang Tristan na yan sayo! O sa magiging apo ko! I swear to God, hindi ko alam kung anong magagawa ko sa kanya pag nalaman kong lumapit sya sayo ulit. He does not have the right! My grandchild will never be near him nor will he know about my grandchild!" Dad's voice thundered inside the office ang kaninang boses nya na puno ng disappointment ay napalitan ng sobrang galit.
I looked at him and closed my eyes, hiyang hiya sa problemang dala ko sa aking ama.
"I don't want to bother you with my problem, dad. Problema ko to kaya ako ang gagawa ng solusyon at yun ay ang supportahan ang anak ko. I don't care if I have to work very hard to provide for my chi-"
"Oh, Shantal! You know money is not a problem here! Kahit habang buhay ka pang hindi mag trabaho mabubuhay kayong mag ina at ang magiging anak ng anak mo! I made sure of that!" He cut me off mad like what I said was wrong. "Ang ayaw ko lang ay ang makialam ang Tristan na yan tungkol sa apo ko kaya hanggat maaari, hindi nya malalaman ang tungkol sa anak nyo. Lintik na yun! The moment that he cheated on you was the moment na tinanggalan nya ang sarili nya ng karapatang maging ama sa anak mo."
I understand daddy and he's right. May point sya, walang karapatan si Tristan sa anak ko. I remembered the look on his face a while ago when he was escorting Rose. He looked okay. He even looked excited while looking at Rose's belly.
Wala syang karapatan. Hindi ko hahayaang masaktan nya ang anak ko.
Kaya kong maging ina at ama sa anak ko.
"That's why I thought about this and I think it's best if you move out of the country dahil sobrang liit ng Cebu para sa inyo. You leaving does not mean you are weak, na talonan ka, no. Hinding hindi ka magiging talonan. It only means that you are strong enough to let go of something not worth holding on to." Dad said as he hugged me and I just cried on his shoulder.
Makaka let go nga ba talaga ako? Kahit sobrang galit ako, kahit gusto ko ng mag move on, ganun nga ba kadali?