After completing my highschool I went back to my home town trying my best to run away from my ex, life was had but I had to get over it no matter what for my family I had to move on and fix my life besides my best friend was there too I always feel comfortable with her.

My name is Marie I group in a small town called Chipata am number five of the among the eight children of Mr and Mrs Gonde am in shot called MG my best friend is Elizer Band (EB).

I can't believe this place has not change at all it's still as confusing as ever besides that my parents are still as violent as ever fighting all the time they don't even care that we are around and this get me sick I wish I can disappear and never come back dad is sic but he still drink despite the doctors advice to stop drinking and smoking am happy he quit smoking I also did stop but am not sure am just 22 but I started smoking way back how it all started.

I was a young girl with so many dreams I wanted to be a writer, a teacher, a musician and an actress but I just couldn't decide I was in grade seven, passing my exams was the best thing that has ever happened in my life I was an average kid I wasn't smart at all but comparing to my sister's I was the smartest, the first born is a girl so is the second born, the two twin girls then me the last born among the girls. After me the twin boys followed the the last born a boy and my best friend.

I wanted to go to school so bad that I told my family my dreams but dad gave me the bad news I never wanted to hear "Marie my daughter I know you love school and you are doing better but I have been jobless for some time now even food is had to find your four four sisters stopped schooling a long time ago so as soon as I find money you will go to school" he said to me and my life and dreams went down the drain.

The following day I went to sit in the garden near a small hole of water, my lags inside was quietly thinking of what to do when I had my best friend talking to my mom "where is Marie mum I haven't seen her all day?" she said "I think she is in the garden you can go and see her she is sad" mum said and Elizer did not wast her time to follow me.

" Hi girl are you ok?" she asked me "yeah am ok dear" I said wiping my tears she put her lags inside the well too and face me "it will be fine baby girl don't worry you will be back to school no time mum has told me what happened" I assured he that I will be ok but after some time I pull my heart to her I told her what I was going through and she comforted me.

Days went by and nothing happened until one day dad gave me good news " baby, I think I have found a solution for our problem" he said and I became Eger to listen. "We can make bricks and sell them so that we raise money for your school but you have to work hard for it" he said "how had can it be? I will do anything to go back to school besides how had can it be?" I said but I was wrong it was hard work for me I was raised as a princess and hard work was not the type of thing I could do but I was determined to do it fetching water from the stream was hard especially when you get down and up with water on your head, my first born sister and her husband was being paid but I was to go to school so it was worth it.

"Brother in law, how do you get so strong and am lazy is it possible to get strong?" I asked my sister's husband he used to understand me well by that time he used to teach me how to play a gutter and we had more than five songs in the book.

"Well me I smoke weed and it makes me strong" he simply said "is that not illegal?" I asked innocently "it is but you just don't show people that you smoke" he said "can I smoke some am tired" I said and he did not hesitate to teach me but my sister did not know what we were doing.

Time went by I was doing great I didn't even realize that we finished the job smoking was best, going back to school in team two wasn't so bad but because I stayed home for a long time I lost interest as a result I failed my grade nine exam, after all my had work I only passed two subject art and Zambian language, that did the trick I gave up in school and concrete in making music and smoking of course.

Dad was know working at a farm as a transportation driver mum joined him me and one of my elder sister with my three brothers joined too, mum find a school for me and I went back it was a new town called Chongwe but I continued smoking tobacco without my brother in law giving me weed I was smoking legal but without my parents knowledge my best friend used bay for me I had only one best friend a male one and then Matilda come in and we were three things went bad when my two friends started dating especially when I was in love with my best friend too.