Sayanni Janae Wilson | Chicago IL
August 4th, 2020
Sayanni groaned as the cries echoing from the other room finally woke her. Quickly she got up and walked towards the nursery, picking up her daughter and pulling her tank top down for Harmoni to eat.
At first, Sayanni was thinking this would be a walk in the park, she seemed to be killing this mom this the first three months. That thought was quickly ripped away from her. She had no time to herself which was expected but not like this, Harmoni needed her at all times, every single day. But really what was she to expect she had a child, a living, breathing, small, and incapable creature that she had to take care of.
Whether she liked it or not responsibility was breaking down her door. Christmas was a blur, Harmoni was now five months old and started to hold her head up when she held her and almost had a crawl already.
Pulling her tank top back up and walking into her room to put Harmoni down in her other crib, pulling the fall guard up before placing a kiss on her daughter's forehead.
She got back into bed trying her best to get at least a little bit of sleep.
Sayanni woke up to clattering and shuffling from outside of her room door. She shot up out of bed looking towards Harmoni's crib,
Panic started to set in when she didn't see her daughter and Sayanni quickly got up, practically leaping from her bed, opening her door ready to fight.
Then quickly calmed down to see Amina in the kitchen washing dishes, Harmoni on the floor scooting about. "Why are you here?" Sayanni spoke up startling Amina causing her to drop the plate she was holding. They both whispered a quiet shit bending to pick up the shards of glass from the floor.
"If you must know I wanted you to go with me to this family thing but you wouldn't answer your phone so I used the key under the mat," Amina stated throwing the rest of the pieces in the thrash and pulling the gloves she had on off. "Still doesn't explain where my child disappeared to." Sayanni mentioned sitting down on the couch.
"When I got here she was crying and you were sleep so I just took her out here wit me so you could sleep." Amina stated sitting next to Sayanni. "Will you go to the thing wit me?" Amina asked turning to look at her.
Sayanni hesitated for a little bit, she was very tired but she did wanna go out somewhere. Sayanni looked toward Harmoni frowning when she looked back at her and then back down. "Can I bring Moni?" she asked her eyebrows raising in question.
"Girl they do not care my grandma love kids." Amina smiled excited a bit more excited about the events soon to take place.
"I'll be back to come get you in a little bit. Want me to take Moni so you can rest a little bit more?" Amina suggested looking between the two girls. Sayanni shook her head reaching out to grab harmoni from the floor. "I'll see you ina little bit." Sayanni stated as she watched Amina leave.
Sayanni sighed before getting up from her spot, putting Harmoni into her high chair and getting some things out to make oatmeal.
An hour and a half passed and Sayanni was rubbing lotion into Harmoni's skin, pulling her onesie back onto her body.
Sayanni looped a small belt through her denim shorts buckling it in the front then standing in-front of her full length mirror turning from right to left holding her chest.
Her clothes have seemed to never look right nowadays and the things she used to wear she had to alter half the time just pull on a regular tee shirt.
Finally pulling on a pair of black shorts and a white cropped tank top on to her body scrolling through her closet for a zip up.
Making sure the diaper bag was packed, she wasn't planning on breast feeding at the park so she had pumped an hour before about two ounces coming from both.
The front door unlocking and small coos and spit bubbles from Harmoni were the only thing heard as Sayanni strapped Harmoni into her seat.
"Hurry yo coochie cutter wearing ass up." Amina yelled from the living room sitting on the couch scrolling through her phone.
"How you know that's what I was wearing?" Sayanni questioned flicking off the light in her room, closing the door behind her, Harmoni car seat and baby bag in hand.
"Cause that's all that be fitting you nowadays. We need to go shopping pooh." Amina mentioned grabbing Harmoni from her as she moved to walk down the steps.
Sayanni locked the door behind her a small pout on her lips. She was starting to get annoyed by her body, at first she loved it but now she really noticed how much it had changed it seemed to look different everyday.
Sayanni and Amina finally made it to the park immediately spotting a few signs that read "DANIEL'S FAMILY REUNION" scattered down the entrance of the park sidewalks.
They're were a few people there not for the event but most had on white shirts with their family names on the back and a number starting from one and up, including Amina hers with a bright pink three on the back.
"Right here's a good spot." Amina blurted pointing to a space closest to the bathrooms a small yellow beetle parked next to them.
All three girls hopped out of the car, Sayanni grumbling as she struggled to unfold the stroller.
"You just gon stand there?" Sayanni snapped as she looked up to Amina on her phone with her hand in her hip waiting for Sayanni.
"She ain't my baby." Amina replied jokingly turning back towards the car to grab her stuff and Harmoni's diaper bag.
"Lemme help ma." Sayanni heard as she looked up to see Von jogging towards her. She smiled as she stood up straight once he took the stroller from her easily unfolding it and locking the parts that needed to be locked.
"Thank you so much." Sayanni mentioned as she moved to place Harmoni in the section of the stroller that was for car seats.
She double checked the stroller scared she'd hadn't placed her right as they started moving. Von, Amina, and Sayanni all walked up the sidewalk towards the benches and picnic tables where everyone was congregating.
"How are y'all doing?" An older women asked as she made over to them hugging Amina and Von.
"There's food and games and a whole bunch a people so y'all have fun now." The women stated Sayanni assuming it was Amina grandmother.
Von had moved from the girls, chopping it up wit family and sitting down at one of the tables to play spades with the old heads. Amina and Sayanni had found a nice spot in the shade a small smile gracing their facing as they watched everyone interact.
"Who this is Auntie Mina?" a little boy said scaring the girls at first. Amina looked towards the boy her nephew Lionel rocking on his feet.
"My friend." Amina stated obviously rolling her neck at the boy.
"She pretty"
"Thank you." Sayanni jumped in smiling at the boy.
"Not as pretty as me tho right?." Amina replied looking towards her friend.
"Yes she's a little prettier." the boy stated looking towards his aunt with a little smirk on his face.
"Boy where yo momma at?" Amina asked looking around trying to spot the boys mother.
"Ova there." The boy pointed to a women in green a group of six boys running in-front of her.
Harmoni started to fuss in her car seat squirming around and pulling at her clothes. Sayanni had noticed how much of a sassy little thing her daughter was. If you didn't do something for her fast enough she'd grunt at you and swat at you, if you didn't give her what she wanted or the right toy she'd throw it right back at you.
"What's wrong wit her?" Sayanni cooed as she unbuckled the baby from her seat pulling her up slowly by her arms making sure not to hurt her.
As she lifted her into the air the girl stopped crying and smiling down at her mother.
Spoiled
Sayanni thought as she smiled at her daughter. That smile never leaving her lips as she watched her daughter. Happy wasn't even the feeling, this little girl that she carried for over nine months went from being a mistake to her savior in a matter of seconds. Her pregnancy wasn't easy but it was worth it during delivery she had dissociated for a little while but came back to the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen.
She had never felt a love like she had with her daughter, motherhood was ultimately terrifying. Sayanni wasn't expecting to get the hang of it right away. The nights she cried whilst she held Harmoni crying as well were nights she understood she was a child trying to raise a child into a world of chaos and hate.
Harmoni let out small babbles as she played with the string of Sayanni zip up moving to put it in her mouth. "Unt unt." Sayanni spoke pulling the string from her hand and over her shoulder.
"So what's going on wit you and Von ?" Amina asked turning to her friend folding her arms atop her chest. Sayanni furrowed her eyebrows a mug on her face from the question.
"Girl nothing, I don't even know him for real." Sayanni replied shrugging her shoulders putting Harmoni back into her seat. "That hug seemed like y'all were rather familiar with each other." Amina challenged not letting up on the state she was shooting Sayanni.
"I already told you the hospital and that's about it." Sayanni replied copying the lion Amina was giving her. "Well I think y'all would be cute. You should try and talk to him." Amina stated standing from her seat and yelling out his name. Sayanni eyes grew wide as she realized what she was doing.
"What the fuck are you doing?" She whisper yelled looking between her and Von. Amina waved her off after putting her finger to her lips.
Von had looked up to his name being called looking every which way until he laid eyes on Amina, her hands cupped around her mouth as she yelled his name again.
"Imma be right back." He mentioned standing from his seat and placing his cards face down on the table. "Don't even think about cheating Uncle Joe." He stated before jogging off to Amina and Sayanni.
"Something wrong? Y'all good?" He questioned a little out of breath from jogging towards them. Amina looked to Sayanni who was already looking at her. Sayanni turned from the older girl and looked up towards Von. He had a small smirk on his face that was barely noticeable as their eyes met.
"Nothings up Yanni wanted to talk to you." Amina spoke turning to Sayanni before grabbing Harmoni's car seat and the diaper bag from the picnic table they were sitting at.
"Imma go show my grandma the baby, I'll text you if anything up." Amina stated before turning from the both of them leaving Sayanni with her mouth agape as she watched the older girl walk away.
Von let out a scoff before shaking his head with a smile on his face. "She a trip ain't she?" He asked before sitting next to her a good amount away from her so she would not be uncomfortable.
"She is." Sayanni agreed letting out a small laugh as she watched her sit next to an older women light skinned woman with light brown hair.
"What's up wit you?"