Sitting there and wishing for nothing but a lovely family, a person who loves me, a freedom-is quite usseles.
Asking for something i will never have, yet...Why didn't i stop hoping? I'm locked up probably 3 years and 125 days now but no one came to help me...Well i can't blame them.
Everyone thinks i'm dead and thanks to my parents everyone forget about me, like i didn't existed at all.
Just what kind of parent would do that to their child, right? Yet they are the ones who gave me birth, they are my parents.
When i was a kid, they let me see the sun for once! They let me play in the forest, alone but still. They feed me and even tho i was almost always getting sick, they took care of me.
I can't hate them like that.
I close my eyes and lay down on the floor, hugging myself so i can warm up a little.
My leg doesn't hurt as much as it hurt two weeks ago but if my dad will know about it, he will break another leg of mine or maybe hand again.
Can i ever...have a person who will love me? Who will hug me when i'm cold, who will melt my heart but don't use it, who will listen to me and cheer me up, who will warm me up...No one right? Of course not! The mistake like me doesn't deserve a person like this! I should die like this.
I don't deserve anything but pain.
If my parents don't love me then who will?
If my own family is treating me like that then who will treat me better?
No one.
No one will love or treat me good.
I hate it!
I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone.
That's it, i go insane didn't i?
Yes, i'm probably crazy, that's why my parents lock me in the dark, cold room. I can't explain their hatred otherwise! There must be something wrong with me! I'm insane, mistake, monster, ungifted or something terrible so they lock me here!
But i'm still their child, aren't i?
God how much i wish this was terrible nightmare...
I can't even say what is reality.
I'm just sitting there and wishing for unfulfilled wishes.