The sky was as dark as the abyss, the floor beneath it was non-existent, it couldn't breathe yet it didn't need to, it reached out for a distant glimmer, yet it realised it had no hands.
It didn't understand.
Where was it, what was it?
Who am i?
All it could do was follow the flow, it didn't know where it was going or why it was going there.
It could tell there were many like them, travelling along this river like a school of fish yet they were so far away, it felt lonely as it flowed along.
It felt like it was missing something, like it had something taken from it, it tried hard to recall yet could only grasp small fragments, it felt that there was a complete puzzle, yet something was breaking it apart, bit by bit.
It existed like this for time indeterminate, it had no sense of time to tell just how long it had existed in this state of perpetual nonexistence.
Would this river end eventually? Or would it be stuck like this until the end of time itself?
An iota of emotion rose in its tiny vessel.
Indignance.
Would it fade away, just like this? After everything-
It's emotions faded.
It didn't understand its own thoughts.
What 'everything'?
It continued to flow along the river.
It was jolted by a shock, it uttered as much surprise as its frail existence could make.
There was a bang that broke the river in twine, a shatter that disturbed existence itself.
And a darkness that devoured the black of nonexistence itself, the lights in the distance was eaten one by one.
A primal fear hidden deep in its tiny vessel shook it into action.
It ran, swam, flew as fast as it could.
Against the flow of the river, against the flow of existence.
It wasn't the only one, many others did the same, a maelstrom of abstract panic formed.
And then a large crack appeared, it felt itself shift as it was expelled from the river.
The cold touched its form, it had always wanted to escape the river yet now it realised it couldn't live without it, the warmth of the river was like a mothers womb to it, keeping it safe.
It tried to see what it was around, yet it was not prepared the vastness of what it witnessed.
A sea of stars as endless and vast as conceivable.
Shapes, colours, and sounds it couldn't even comprehend.
And a great existence so large its small vessel couldn't even understand.
The cold quickly encroached on its body, cracking its vessel.
The last thing it could recall, lights appearing on the horizon of the world, quickly approaching it.
And then it faded.
…
Shu He's eyes shot open, his pupils constricted and the whites of his eyes red, his skin covered in sweat as he breathed heavily causing him pain.
"Augh!" He involuntarily groaned sending an even sharper pain through his body silencing him.
'W-what was that? A dream?' His mind was murky, he wasn't clear where he was or what he was doing, his mind was only filled with a bunch of vague images imprinted in his mind.
He felt disoriented, it was like he had gone on a journey, yet he couldn't remember whether it took a day or 1000 years, an odd, uncomfortable sensation of uncertainty swamped his mind and feelings.
Yet the more he tried to think about it, the more he felt those memories slip like they didn't exist in the first place, and then after a simple minute he only had a vague feeling of recollection remaining.
He didn't understand it at all, yet he calmed down eventually as his mind adjusted and woke up, he had clearly been asleep for a while as he felt his mind come to.
'A familiar roof.' Was his first coherent thought as he stared at the pure white ceiling above him, he was laying down, he could feel the smooth touch of fabric on his fingertips and skin, he could feel that he was wearing nothing but underwear.
'Was that all a dream? A cruel fantasy?' He couldn't help but think for a moment, was everything he experienced fake? Was he actually just stuck in that bed still, was his mind playing a sick joke on him?
But he knew better, he swiped that thought from his mind.
There was no droning sound of the heartbeat monitor, he felt no needles or tubes gouged into his flesh keeping him alive, there was no scent of faintly rotting flesh and blood-stained sheets smothered with the smell of disinfectant.
This was not the hospital that he had been his home for the last years of his life.
So then, where was he? Why was he here?
'What was I doing?' He stirred his recent memories until he almost choked in shock.
"The tournament!" he yelled out, his throat in pain.
He had tried to sit up, but his muscles refused to budge, only responding with a sharp pain, one he felt was familiar.
'I was fighting Jin Bao, and then it escalated until…'
"I killed him" He muttered.
But then he remembered those hollow eyes that bore through him near the end.
'No, he died before that, what I killed was something horrid inhabiting his body'.
He said that to himself, but he knew deep down there wasn't much difference, it was his actions that had driven him to that point, he wasn't entirely blameless.
Maybe if he had reported it, they would have believed him and Jin Bao would still be alive, but in custody of the sect? He didn't know if that was the case at all though.
Especially considering that the Sect Master herself threw him to the lions.
'What was that? Why did she do that?'
At that time he was definitely insistent on fighting, did she sense that and let him do as he pleased? Or did she want something else to happen? He knew too little about his own Sect Master to tell.
But, if he was to ask himself if he felt guilty about killing him, it would be no.
It was clear now that Jin Bao was involved with the black sects, and quite deeply at that, he didn't even give a second thought to turning his back on the sect when he was found out.
Maybe he could have been given a second chance if he had submitted himself.
But that was just a maybe.
He tried to kill Shu He, so Shu He killed him.
Those were the facts, and they can't be changed.
Shu He had killed someone for the first time.
And all he felt… was a slight distaste left in his mouth, that could have gone differently.
He didn't feel good, he didn't revel in his victory, but he didn't feel like lamenting over it.
That all there was to it.
He let out a pained sigh as he tried to move his body again, but all he felt was more pain.
'This is because of the golden flame…' He recognised his situation immediately, the pain as so great and familiar that he remembered the last time it happened clearly.
That time he had gone to experiment with it and used it to reinforce his arm it had caused him a great amount of pain that he had no way of resolving, it was only the timely appearance of that strange old man that saved him from his own foolishness.
Today, he wouldn't be so lucky it seems.
He activated his 'sight' which in itself was a painful thing as he stared at his body.
His physical form was fine, well mostly; He could see small scars here and there, obviously left over from the fight, he didn't know who had taken care of him, but he full well knew he was in a far better state now than he was at the end of that fight.
'Oh Shu He, you fool' He couldn't help but think to himself.
Through his eyes his body looked like it was lit up like a golden Christmas tree, in those last moments he had channelled his golden Qi through his body directly into his spirit knife, normally he would only mix a very small amount of gold Qi with his normal Qi to reinforce himself, but this was the undiluted Qi.
What happened to the knife? Shu He remembers vaguely.
It cracked and then shattered entirely, enable to bear the golden Qi for long.
And he had done the same to his body, it was a surprise he was still in one piece after all this time, his muscles, joints and body fibre was filled with his golden Qi without a suitable outlet.
He had thought plenty about that one moment when he was a child, that old man had told him one thing.
"It's too soon for you".
He now fully understood what he meant, his body was nowhere near strong or well developed enough to house the golden Qi.
It was like overfilling an engine, causing damage to the components because of the pressure.
There wasn't a big enough outlet, making the vessel burst when it's released.
So now Shu He was in a dilemma, unless he removed all of this Qi he would be unable to move around.
He would be no better off than his previous life!
'No way in hell is that going to happen!'
He refused to live like that again.
So his solution was a simple one, he had to control and remove the golden Qi like that old man had done that day, the problem was he had nowhere near the ability to do such a thing, he could direct the flow of the golden Qi in his best state, but controlling its every action to a detailed level was something he hadn't managed yet, it was even harder now that it had been manifested in to his physical body.
But…
'I don't have a choice'.
He decided to start with his arm to test, he didn't want to experiment with a vital organ or a place with high pain perception, so he thought this was about right.
He focused on the gold aura that was concentrated in his arm and… tried to move it slightly.
"Aaaaa!" The pain surged up his arm and hand, but he couldn't even move to react lest he causes himself more pain.
'That's too much!' he lightly grit his teeth.
He had tried to pull as little as he could, but it was about the size of a small coin and was still too much.
'Smaller…'
He tugged at it again, yet pain effused his body once more.
'Smaller!'
He didn't even grunt in pain his time; his mind had begun to phase it out.
'Smaller!!'
…
After about four hours of trying Shu He eventually reached the point where he could begin to extract the Qi without causing too much pain.
He watched as a tiny, thin thread of gold Qi drifted out of his arm like a thin cobweb, the size was even smaller than the tip of a pin, yet it was the largest he could manage without losing concentration from the pain, even now it was like a small knife jabbing into his arm.
'This is going to take a while…'
His arms had the highest concentration of Qi so they would take the longest, his legs had the least along with his upper extremities, his head had little to none thankfully, but he decided after testing a lot more he would focus on extracting the Qi from his throat, digestive tract and other vital organs, specifically his heart and lungs, the concentration in those two wasn't high but he felt ill at ease leaving them as is.
'It's going to take a month at minimum… unless I can improve my extraction method sooner'.
He wasn't unfamiliar with being bedridden for long periods, he just found it unpleasant since it reminded him of his last days.
*Step* *Step* *Step*
All of a sudden he heard footsteps off in the distance, it was in a different room than him because of the muffled sounds, he hadn't managed to look around his room much because of the pain so he halted his extraction.
The room around him was fairly basic, he was on a simple bed with white curtains around him, there was a row of them in the room he was in, at the end of the room was a bunch of equipment he didn't recognise.
'This definitely looks like a hospital, but I'm the only one here?'
He directed his sight to the door; he could look beyond it but there was no reason to be impatient.
A second later the door opened.
A lady with raven black hair tied in a bun stood there, she wore spectacles that glimmered with formation lights, she donned a sect robe of the Titanic Steel Sect, but she also wore an overcoat with the symbol for 'Medicine' on it with mint green trimmings donning it.
Evidently, this was Shu He's doctor.