If the title of this chapter wasn't enough; trigger warning
Skye
We sat on my couch reading all these damn books for hours, I finally finished the one I was currently reading and said, "Well. Now that I'm done that shit, I need to pee." Dylan snorted and looked at me in mild shock for some reason. "What? Am I not allowed to say I need to pee? If I'm going to the bathroom there's only one other thing I'd be fricken doing in there, would you rather me every time I need to shit let you know I'm going to go shit in a toilet?" I asked, causing him to try and hold in his laugh very terribly.
"No, I'm good Quetzal. Go to the bathroom." Dylan replied, some of his usual amusement returning to his features.
I got up and half way to the bathroom remembered, "No matter what bathroom I use you're gonna know whether you wanted to or not that I'm pissing.... That's fricken gross, weird and awkward as fuck." I teleported ear plugs and noise canceling headphones to my hand and walked back over to the couch to hand them to him. He chuckled at me and put the ear plugs in. I whispered, "Still hear me?" Dylan very poorly tried fighting the smile on his face and started to say no so I slapped the head phones on and went upstairs to my bathroom. I obviously did what I came up here to do and washed my hands. As I was drying them I noticed the razor for my legs. With my armpits and uh.. pubic hair, I used my shift abilities to not have hair in those places because down there was irritating as hell and having to shave my arm pits every second day was also annoying. My legs however I kind of like shaving, I don't really know why. I guess it's just that bit of work you put in and end up with smooth as fuck legs. I glanced at the door knowing Dylan would be expecting me to be back downstairs really soon, then glanced back at the razor. As dumb as it might be I didn't want to end up with some weird disease from an already used razor, so I swiftly dug out a new one and removed one of the blades. I glanced at the door again, knowing he's bound to come check on me any second now. I held the blade to my wrist and watched my blood start seeping through the new wound I gave myself, somehow... It made me feel slightly better.. just like before when I did this... Makes me feel something other than hollow I guess is how it made me feel a little better. I hid the blade and the rest of the new razor so no one would be able to find it, even though no one but me comes in this bathroom anyways. Then I shifted my skin to look normal again so no one could see what I just did. I opened the door as quiet as possible and heard Dylan coming up the stairs so I quickly but quietly stepped over to my dresser to look at the drawings hidden in it. I kept a straight, emotionless face as I stared at my drawings. I heard Dylan sigh and glanced over to see him take the headphones off and ear plugs out.
"You shouldn't look at those Quetzal, they won't help." He softly said, gently taking them out of my hand and putting them back in the drawer, closing it after. I stared blankly at the floor, so he lifted my face to look at his amazing eyes. "So much for me never seeing in that drawer huh?" He teased, smirking the tiniest bit to try and get me to smile. I rolled my eyes and pushed him slightly, mustering a playful glare at him. Dylan smiled and pulled me in for a kiss that lasted what felt like forever.
After pulling away from each other I asked, "You miss doing that or something?"
Amusement sparkled in his eyes and smile as he answered, "You obviously did too from your lack of complaint and the red in your face." I huffed and looked at the ground.
"Fuck you." I muttered, earning a chuckle and joke, "No thanks, I'd rather not have a dildo or strap on thrust up my ass."
I blinked at the floor, face feeling warmer just because of starting to imagine that grossness, then shook my head and went downstairs saying, "Fucking ew. No way I'd even get close enough to your naked ass to shove it up there." All I heard in response was laughter. I shook my head and slightly smiled at the floor as I rubbed my wrist. I flopped back onto my couch, hogging all of it by laying across it.
"If you're wanting to sleep why not go to bed Quetzal?" Dylan asked, amused.
"Uh cause up in my room you were talking bout shoving fake dicks up your ass, didn't really make me want to go lay in bed." I answered, snorting at the same time as him. Ah fuck again with doing things at the same time? Ugh.. Anyways I don't entirely remember what happened because I ended up falling asleep. I felt like I was floating and just automatically assumed Dylan had carried me to bed.
~Dream~
I was hanging out with Dylan, Lily, Kelsey and her friends. We were all fine, normal and laughing. When all of a sudden they all glared evilly at me as they made a circle around me.
"We should've let you die."
"The world would be better for it if we did."
"We know you cut yourself, it's so pathetic that you'd do something like that just to get attention."
"We've never actually cared about you, we just faked it to laugh behind your back" I then had that stupid movie thing happen where the person is stepping in circles, hands over their ears trying to block out the demon or whatever. I shut my eyes tight to try and make them disappear.
~Reality~
My eyes snapped open, looking around in panic for a few seconds before realizing I was in my room. I touched my face to find tears rolling down my cheeks. Then I heard Dylan panicking behind me, trying to figure out what happened. I sighed, dried my face and laid back down staring at the ceiling.
"Skye what the hell happened, you were screaming "shut up" loud enough to make a deaf person hear you." Dylan demanded/stated, staring me dead in the eye. I managed to heave another sigh and replayed the nightmare in my head and let him see. I flicked my eyes over to look at him and saw the pain and agony he felt reflected in his eyes. "Skye.... we would never do that to you.... why would you dream that..?" He asked sorrowfully.
I rolled over so my back was to him and emotionlessly answered, "Cause that's what my head constantly tells me." I felt pain start overwhelming me then it suddenly cut off and I felt hollow again. I furrowed my brows and looked over to see if it was his doing.
"Yes I cut you off from how I feel, you're in enough pain as it is. You don't need mine on top of it." Dylan sternly replied to my unasked question. I let my head fall back to how it was and heard Dylan shifting closer to me. He wrapped an arm tightly around me and pulled me closer to him so there was absolutely no space between us. "You're going to get better.... I promise..." Dylan whispered, kissing my shoulder once.
I awoke the next morning with the urge to cut my wrist again. I know it'd probably cause more problems then solve any, never solved anything last time, but the physical pain felt better than any emotional and helped relieve some of the emotional just from actually feeling something. I dragged myself out of bed to the bathroom, somehow not waking Dylan up in the process and quietly closed the door behind me. I made sure to lock it before pulling the blade from last night out of hiding. I shifted my wrist back to having the one cut on it—for future me I made sure they weren't just straight lines across my arm—and added around five more to the existing one, except this time some blood dripped onto the floor. Dylan knocked on the door, scaring the shit out of me and causing me to stab my wrist too.
"Shit snacks! Jesus fuck what Dylan?" I called through the door, wincing at the sudden stabbing and making sure to not use any words relating to ow.
"Uh well, woke up and you weren't in bed and it sounded pretty damn silent so I was making sure you were still fuckin alive." He retorted protectively.
"Yes well for all you know I could just be supremely constipated. Or just fell asleep on the toilet." I replied, trying to tease to get him off my back. He sighed and said okay then went back to bed. I soundlessly sighed with relief and quickly cleaned the blood up after shifting my wrist to normal again. I flushed the toilet and exited the bathroom and crawled back into bed, snuggling into Dylans warmth. I felt him chuckle and wrap his arms around me again. We didn't go back to sleep though, we just laid awake in silence.
"Wanna play halo?" I asked once I got bored of staring into nothingness.
"Gladly." Dylan replied, happiness under his voice. I got up and headed downstairs, grabbing all the remotes and controllers I needed then sat on the floor. "Why are you sitting on the floor Quetzal?" Dylan asked, amused again.
I shrugged and replied, "It's comfy." He shook his head as he chuckled and sat behind me on the couch. He let me do the whole campaign by myself while apparently playing with my hair. When I finished I turned my head to look at him and it ended up making him tug my hair. "Dude what the fuck are you doing?" I asked trying to look at the back of my own head.
He laughed and playfully scolded, "Hold still and you can see in a minute." I sighed, looked at my T.V. again and waited. A few minutes later he told me he was done and told me to go look in the mirror.
"Since when were you a friggin hair dresser?" I asked, astonished by the beautiful braids in my hair.
He smiled from behind me in the mirror and answered, "Since about an hour ago."
"Wh—... what the actual fuck." Was all I could say, earning more chuckling as a reply.