Skye
I woke up due to being squeezed tightly and realized it was Dylan hugging me.
"What the fuck." I tiredly grumbled, confused as to why he was holding me so tightly.
"You were full blown scream crying in your sleep. Scared the shit out of me at first and now I'm just worried." He answered with a frown.
I half-heartedly snorted in flat amusement and replied, "Yeah that happens. I've learned to make myself sleep through it and pretend it doesn't happen." His frown and worry grew as he stared at me, sadness in his eyes.
"Why Quetzal.....?" He barely audibly asked.
"Cause nothing in my head shuts up about how pointless my life is... or about everyone faking nice to me... Trying to convince me to just die to get away from it all..... Probably sound like a fucking psychopath or something." I muttered, staring at the wall emotionless. Dylan hugged me tighter, I could tell he was struggling with holding in his emotions and for whatever reason I decided to let him in. I guess being this numb I just don't fucking care anymore. I didn't look at him as I let my walls down for the first time in months and let him know exactly what I felt, and know what he's feeling.
"How can there be this much pain changed to numbness...?" He whispered, I felt his eyes burning into me.
I glanced over at him then went back to where I was looking before and flatly answered, "It just ended up hurting so much numbness took over, guess I couldn't handle it anymore so now I don't give a shit about anything anymore..."
"Yet you still care so fucking much it causes more pain." He commented, causing me to look back over at him. How could he sense that under all the internal torment? What the hell... How could he see that through all the darkness that is my mind? I closed my eyes so I could pretend I'm not here, but all of a sudden white started taking over the black in my head.
I opened my eyes and looked at Dylan then asked, "What the fuck?"
He gave me a tiny, gentle smile and simply answered, "Call it an angel trick." I blinked, trying to ignore the fact I felt better than I did.
"What'd you do though?" I pressed.
"I manipulated light and positivity to enter your mind and help you fight the darkness in it. It didn't cure you of the depression unfortunately... but it will help in fighting it." Dylan answered. "Still feel like the world hates you?" He inquired, hope shining in his eyes. I thought for a minute and realized I felt like I did before that whole stupid incident started... weird.... but cool.
I shook my head and answered, "Not really, feel like I did months ago before we went to Kelsey's school.." He smiled at me, beaming with happiness at my words.
"Does that mean if we go back to sleep you aren't going to further scare the shit out of me in one day?" Dylan teased.
I rolled my eyes and responded, "Not sure, let's find out." He didn't entirely look impressed with that answer but stayed quiet and we soon fell back asleep.
After waking up I didn't really feel better anymore, but I pretended I did and kept Dylan feeling the shit I had in the middle of the night so he wouldn't know I had fallen back to the darkness. As Kingdom Hearts says; the closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes. I kept those negative feelings locked up in a cage he couldn't get to and played like I was still fine. I suggested going to the agency to tell boss that Kelsey is ready for her own actual mission, now that she got to watch and learn how to infiltrate people. I shifted my clothes again and made it look like I brushed and styled my hair to have braids tucking into the rest of my hair that was down.
"Okay, let's go." I said to Dylan who was waiting on my couch. He got up and I held his hand as I teleported us to the agency. "Sup Boss. Missed coming in all the time, sorry about that. On the bright side the world has three less sex addicts in it now. Kelsey's improved a lot and is ready for her own mission." I greeted in my usual sassy tone, continuing to pretend I'm fine and my suicide attempt never happened.
"And what of the news about you trying to take your own life Agent?" He randomly brought up.
"Okay who the fuck told. Ironheart I swear to fuck man." I loudly said as I stood up to walk around the room, anxiety starting to take over.
He put his hands up in surrender and answered, "Wasn't me."
I sighed and asked boss, "It was Val wasn't it? She's a great friend and all but fuck she sucks at keeping certain secrets."
"I'd appreciate you refraining from such language before I fire you agent."
"Pf. You adopted me for a reason, obviously you wouldn't want to lose such an asset as me." I partially retorted. "But fine, sorry for swearing boss." I added, sounding a little more apologetic since he totally could fire me just to teach me something.
"Wait what?! He adopted you?!! Since when!?!" Dylan exclaimed, looking to me for the answer but glanced between the both of us.
"Since I started here, apparently it was either that or wipe my identity off the face of the earth." I answered, shrugging at the end, still pacing the room.
Dylan blinked in shock at me while boss said, "Well. Least you've finally learned to apologize. Now—"
"Yeah cause that's one of the rare times I mean it so duh Ima say it. Why would I say sorry to someone if I don't mean it? Jesus.." I interrupted, crossing my arms.
Boss sighed and continued, "NOW. As I was saying. You get to start going to the therapist here for help with your mental state. And while you're getting better you can read up on how to be a decent queen, you're almost of age after all. You need to be prepared for it."
"Does that mean I can kill my stupid 'parents' soon?" I asked hopefully, using air quotes since they're my aunt and uncle and "oh my god that's why he was kinder to me than her." My thought ended up coming out my mouth, confusing the other two in the room. "What's his face said my mom had a son with her sisters husband. Aka my uncle, he treated me a little better than my aunt ever did. Why is this only clicking in my head now? God..."
Boss sighed again and answered my previous question, "Only once you take the throne can you dispose of them, otherwise you'll be leaving the throne empty for those who are too power hungry and would kill you and your brother for it." I sighed and nodded in understanding then signed out. Before leaving he stopped me, "Oh, almost forgot. Open the drawer under this screen." Puzzled, I furrowed my brows and did as told and found one of the higher tech wrist devices.
"FFHECK YEAH!" I exclaimed actually feeling a bit of happiness about finally getting it, even though I technically don't need it. "Thanks boss/dad, I've been waiting so long to have one of these." I told him, putting it on my right wrist.
"I hope you learn to use it before you possibly end up with your powers taken away Fox." He replied, letting me know he knows about those powers. Figured he did cause I haven't been hiding it. I signed out again but boss said he had some words for Dylan so he let me leave while he stayed to hear what Boss had to tell him. I didn't care enough to eavesdrop this time though, even though last time this happened it was about how Mason was kidnapped. I went to the bathroom to play with what eye color I think I look best with. My conclusion is I look better with my green eyes. I left the bathroom once I figured he'd be done and found him standing waiting for me.
"You listening to see if I'd try anything again or tryna hear a girl piss?" I asked, teasing a little.
Dylan snorted and answered amused, "Don't need to stand by the door to hear anyone piss unfortunately. Be glad you can't here the men's bathroom right now."
"Ew.." I stated then chuckled slightly as I shook my head. He cracked a smile, presumably at finally making me laugh again. I rolled my eyes and gently pushed him then used my new fancy device to make a portal for us to my house. I sat on the couch, Roxie laying on my lap, then teleported royalty books from Trealle to my coffee table to start reading. Dylan sat beside me, amusement sparkling in his eyes once again. "What?" I asked, furrowing my brows at him then started reading one of the books.
He chuckled and replied, "You actually reading a book. And one that has to do with your fake parents at that."
"And isn't one about plants and seeds." He added, laughing at my face after.
I glared at him and stated, "Not my fault prince dipshit came back to his room and made me have to look at damn farming books." I then huffed which made him chuckle again. I wish I actually enjoyed this... least I can pretend I do, I miss us being like this... I've missed it so much the past few months. Dylan reached over and held my hand. I glanced over at him to see the smile on his face, I smiled back.
"I know you aren't really better, but I'm glad you can now at least try to be." He told me, rubbing my hand with his thumb as he spoke.
I glanced down at our hands then looked at his beautiful honey brown eyes and replied, "I know you aren't going to give up on me. Wish my brain would actually accept that it knows that fact but it's there, and I'm not going to try ending my life again." I squeezed his hand then went back to reading my book.