…In the end, Bian decided to let the two crash at her place while Harita thinks up of a plan to fulfill his Vow, taking Lieren with them as the unnecessary weight that he was.
It had been a couple of days since then.
The moon loomed above the forsaken city and all its inhabitants, casting a curious glow onto the glow, indifferent to all within its domain.
"How envious."
Bian's hideout, a dilapidated two-story building with minimal furniture and broken-down walls, with several pillars on the verge of collapsing, was in a certain, weird way, strangely comforting. It was a miracle that this place still standing, with the entire structure being slightly tilted by about seventeen degrees. Bian's valuables could be found in one room only: the master bedroom. There was a single trunk of her belongings and a miraculously functioning bath, with warm water available at the flick of a lever… which the two was not allowed to use, at all costs. The walls and floor were made out of some kind of dark wood, most likely from the enchanted forest of Karan nearby. Though a single glance with Manavision proved that the woof had lost all its enchanted properties, except for its natural rigidity and fortitude. Despite steadily debilitating state of the building, Lieren was certain that it could take a spell or two from a low-level Warcaster, at the very least.
Lieren leaned forward, resting his arms on the second-story balcony as he gazed at the moon, wishing that he had the same characteristics as it.
It was just so darn beautiful, wonderful… and envious. The very being that was the moon, in all its glory, was a celestial entity worthy of everybody's envy and jealousy, as long as the word night exists.
Hanging his head, the boy sighed and closed his eyes, resting his forehead on his arms atop the balcony bannister.
"What am I doing?"
…Come to think of it, the moon had more than one story associated to it, with most of them having been associated with the twelve months of the year, as well as the animals linked with each one.
There was the wolf of the first moon, the snow of the second moon, the worm, the worm, pink, flower, strawberry, buck, sturgeon, harvest, hunter, beaver and cold moon. Each one representing each month in one year.
Of course, there are also the scarlet and blue moon, rare occurrences that only happen during special times, like the winter and summer solstice. They say the last time the scarlet moon and blue moon was ten years ago, the night after the King's Oblivion happened. Hundreds upon thousands of monsters were said to have been created, evolved, and spawned into the world in the blink of an eye, wreaking destruction and creation in its wake. They say even daemons and fey alike gathered to partake in the carnage, leaving their respective realm to take advantage of the chaos, though most accounts are no more than speculation and heresy, totally incredible.
Hyakki Yagyō, Night Parade of One-Thousand Demons, The Purple Night, is what the people of Hamaha had decorously touted it as, a fact that nobody has ever contested ever since its appointment.
On top of the continental damage that the King's Oblivion had so mercilessly wreaked onto the world, like it was its God-given right, a disaster that met and topped it burned the world even more, mercilessly kicking it while its down. No charity or sympathy, whatsoever.
"Oh yeah, I was born at that time wasn't I? Good times."
He chuckled bitterly, tasting poison. Even he could not stand the words in his mouth anymore.
Suddenly, Lieren's ears perked up.
'…Huh?'
Familiar, steady footsteps were approaching him. They were ever so slightly off, as if the person behind them had trouble keeping his gait.
But there was also some improvement.
Bit by bit, the man fixed his cadence, tempering it slowly over time. More of a subconscious modification than an active one. A true mark of a master; repairing the broken even without any conscious thought to do so.
Or maybe it was on purpose? And Lieren was just too inexperienced to tell.
'Yeah. That's probably it. I can't think of any other way.'
Nodding to himself, Lieren agreed… with himself. It was a harrowing thought that he didn't really want to go into, but was ultimately led to.
Fate can be so cruel… most times.
Taking a deep, tired breath, he stood up and straightened his back, fixing his posture in a horrible replication of the man's steadily improving gait. Stretching his facial muscles, he crafted the best, most fake smile he could muster… and ultimately failed.
'Figures.'
It was no surprise, really. He expected himself to fail. Frowning, then recalling, he pushed his lips to curl upward. Both of them, lest the man mistake him for having the smallest semblance of pride and confidence, which he has wholly abandoned… as well as a couple more parts of himself.
"Hey. How are you doing, Lieren?"
Taking noticed of the young boy as he opened the rickety door of the second-floor balcony, Harita stepped out, his eyes heavy with dark circles. He seemed to have trouble even opening his eyes for extended periods of time, needing to close them every now and then.
The man has had a rough two days here.
…Unlike Lieren, just mooching off of him every single day.
Doing his absolute best to keep his smile from falling away, Lieren squeezed his hand behind his back, numbing the aching sensation that had been building up inside of him for a while now, ever since leaving the enchanted forest.
"Really good. I can't complain, really."
This was, technically, not a lie.
Smiling tiredly, Harita patted him on the head once, struggling to keep his eyes fully open for longer than a two seconds.
"I see. That's good, that is good. Kids like you shouldn't be worrying about things like this."
Looking away, Lieren closed his eyes, insensitive to his Aegis' words of encouragement. It was as though he could not hear him at all, blocked by an obfuscating wall of self-loathing.
He didn't if it was because he was vulnerable, curious, or simply tired, but the words he wanted to speak the least naturally found its way on his mouth.
"Why do people die?"
◇◆◇◆◇
The night was young and dark, with the faintest sensation of an eastern wind and slightly-chilling cold biting at their skin.
Harita reeled back, his face unreadable. The fatigue of nights spent wide-awake planning their next moves seemed to be catching up to him.
His voice was barely a whisper as he muttered under the eastern wind:
"What do you mean?"
"Huh?"
Lieren stammered, trying to find his next words from the labyrinthine nexus of his jumbled-up mind.
He closed his eyes, tried to calm down… and failed. Again. Like always.
'Of course. What did I expect, to actually succeed? Yeah right.'
This time, he didn't have any trouble putting on a fake smile.
"Why do people die? —No, actually… Why do people kill each other? Is it avarice? Jealousy? Anger? Envy? Pride? I really don't know. I don't want to know… But, for some reason, for some absolutely terrible reason, I feel like I have to know, at all costs. Like some kind of self-destructive idiot."
Feeling his insides bubbling up, Lieren decided to let it all out, to come out and just say whatever he wants to, without anything and anyone ever stopping him.
"I've read about them, you know? Heroes, I mean. I don't get them. They have all these fantastical abilities, grand adventures, even the best of all the people in the whole wide world around them… and yet they still want more. Idiots, I say! Why would you even ask for more?! They already have it all. They already have everyone. Even if they lost somebody or somebody in the way, they still have the others with them, potentially even more, in the future. It just never seems to end. But the again, that wouldn't really be a good story, is it? I mean, stories need to have endings. They wouldn't be stories, otherwise. Everything needs to end. Everybody needs to die. Then… otherwise… maybe… maybe it would have all something, you know?"
Tears, bitter and scornful, flowed down his face drizzled the wood below and seeped into the dark wood of the building, never to be seen again. Never to be known to anybody.
Lierne bit his lip and clenched his hands, both bloodless white.
"I… I just want it to mean something. If I die, if the innocent people I've seen die with my own eyes, and the many, many people I'll definitely meet in the future die as well… I at least want to think that it all meant something. To somebody—anybody, for even just the fraction of a second."
Feeling the whole world disconnect from him, Lieren closed his eyes and let his smile crumble, sobbing and weeping disgustingly like the child that he was. He had said it all, but for some reason, he felt like that was nowhere near close enough what he wanted to happen.
He wasn't happy. He wasn't sad. Nothing had been resolved and nothing had been expressed. He had done zilch to cope with his anxiety and emotions, instead leading deeper and darker, until he couldn't even see the light anymore.
After what seemed like an eternity of crying, he looked up, expecting some kind of grand story or uplifting lesson from his most trusted confidant… only for him to not even be there anymore, gone like the wind, disappearing into the night.
It was as though he wasn't even there in the first place.
"Yeah… that's pretty much what I expected."
The boy bitterly smiled, walking back into the house. The shadows seemed tocing closer to him, caught and traooed by his inner turmoil and newfound darkness.
Like a fire being cruelly doused or a star being extinguished, something within him died, forever.