----
David would be coming by the Death Star 4 days a week for 8 hours to teach Ammy about history, historical research and how to find information. Ammy stared at me before saying "I very much appreciate your thoughtfulness. Thank you mother." and gave me a hug.
"Aww, your welcome~" I snuggled him.
Keying David into the Teleporter was simple. I bid the two of them a good day, left plenty of food in the fridge for them to heat up later when they got hungry and then left to go check on the Earth.
----
The wooly mammoths have gone extinct in the area that would someday become America. The changing temperatures killed off a lot of the larger animals. As a fun note, the humans started getting better at hunting and even started planting stuff (under my careful direction). They've started making friends with wolves and I squealed at the sight of them snuggling together with the puppies.
Other than that, things were going well. Humanity continued to grow and develop into societies. It was sad to see the extinction of so many animal species but those that survived would evolve into other things. I watched it all, fluttering between dreams, dropping hints for where to build their shelters on stable ground, where to plant to get the best results…
I traveled all around the globe, trying to meet as many people as I could, trying to learn as much as I could. I watched new animals rise up and fill in the niches left behind by the most recent mass extinction. It was sad to see the life come and go.
But it was happening. Humanity was developing. Soon. Soon. Soon.
----
Rince was getting older. She was a very angry child. She seemed to hate me, to my dismay.
"Come on Rince, 爷爷 just wants to feed you while your mommy and daddy are busy~" I tried to spoon some of the ground meat and veggies into her mouth but she bit down on my hand viciously. "Grrrr!"
I shuddered. Oh. This hurt a lot. Owww…
And not even in the fun way.
Pyrone and Flora were out working so they were trusting me to look after Rince. Pyronica was out shopping for baby supplies. I whimpered as Rince hung off my arm, snarling. "Ok, this is fine…" I winced. I poked the spoon at her mouth and managed to slip it between her jaws. "As long as you're getting food…"
I managed to feed her (whimpering slightly the whole time, the pain felt nice after a while, almost, but the fact that she clearly hated me made me sad) and couldn't pry her off my arm so I put her down for a nap, my arm stretching super long so she could keep gnawing on it while I worked at tidying the house.
My bowtie buzzed. Oh come on!
I split myself in half and sent the other me to the location. No binding circles, good. It was a simple affair. A being with like 88 different faces stared at me. I blinked slowly. This seemed familiar somehow. Ze was an angel. An angel that served a minor god from this dimension. Apparently zis god had been steadily losing power over the centuries and ze wanted to bail before they faded from existence once their god did.
The issue here was HOW they wanted to do this Deal.
"You...want to be one of MY angels?" I said in disbelief. Angels were essentially shards of a god's power split off from them into their own entities. Technically my Nightmares might be counted as my Angels (or my children but I didn't like to think about that). They are spawned from my power after all. I...birthed them, much like how other gods can birth demi-gods and angels. But they were soulless, mindless monsters. This being before me HAD a soul. And was apparently independent enough to leave the god that spawned them.
They nodded. "You are powerful and have been growing more so over the years with no sign of stopping. Why WOULDN'T I want to go with you instead?"
"Well…" I hesitated. "You DO know what I'm a god of?" They nodded "I am prepared for the consequences. As long as I get to remain alive."
Shards of a God's power reflect that god themselves. My nightmares were proof of what a horrid monster of a deity I really am. This being with 88 faces was created by the god of faces. They were losing power due to the rise of a new god in the area, the god of expression. What I'm trying to say is, this being, is an angel made up of faces, pleasant and pretty faces. But if they become mine, my power and nature would twist them into something horrifying.
I explained this to them but they nodded anyway. "I am fine with that. I just don't want to die."
"But why come to me? I'm sure there are other gods you can pledge yourself to?" I simply couldn't understand why anyone would choose ME. The being stared at me, let me tell you, having so many eyes trained on me was quite uncomfortable. "Because you are strong." They said.
I...couldn't exactly refute that. "But there are other powerful gods out there. Why, specifically ME?" I just couldn't understand why anyone would choose me if they had other options. Zey continued to look at me expectantly. "Because no one else is willing to incur the wrath of my creator for taking me in."
I twitched. "So, your boss is gonna come after me for poaching you?" I muttered. The being nodded, an odd, rippling motion as all 88 faces moved. "And you're strong enough to survive that. I've heard of you taking down other gods."
"Yeah, well...I don't go out of my way to do that...unless they're a horrible person." I muttered. The being gave me a pleading look. "Please? When my god dies, I will vanish too and I don't want to die."
"How old are you?" I asked. Angels lived as long as they are not killed, their lifespans synched with their gods. The being flapped their wings "Around twenty million." I hummed. They were pretty young. Ok. Fine.
"Well, what will you give me in return?" I asked. Truthfully, I had never considered getting my own angels. My Nightmares were horrible and I ignored them for the most part. I had no interest in them. I had tried to speak with them, tried to see if they were anything more than mindless beasts, didn't work.
The being considered their options. "I can give you my power?"
"Pass." I had enough power. "How about this…" I considered it. "Angels are messengers for their gods, so you're kinda free to do what you want, but if I need to send people messages and I'm too busy to go in person, I'll send you."
The being nodded. "That's more than fair. It was my job already. I shall serve as your loyal angel."
"Ok, I'm fine with those terms actually." They extended their wing to me and I shook it "Deal." this Deal was somewhat different, the price and the desire were the same thing.
The deal coursed through me and I shivered. I felt my powers clash against the power of their original god and I overpowered their bond to them. My power flowed into this angel, claiming it as my own. They shrieked as their form shifted, mutating into a horrifying monstrosity. I winced. "Ah...I can fix that...if you want?"
The being looked at themselves, their new body was hideous. They grinned wide with their multiple faces. "I love it!" they growled. "I can feel your power flowing through me!" They laughed with a sound that would drive mortals mad. I blinked at them. "Ok. Cool. Glad you're happy."
"What is it that you wish of me my lord?" The creature growled. I shrugged. "I don't really have anything in mind for now. Never had an angel before you see?" I hummed. "I guess you can go and…" they were staring at me so expectantly that I didn't want to disappoint them. "...talk people into worshiping me?" I suggested.
"Oh course my lord! I will be pleased to do so!"
They flew off, laughing. I briefly wondered if this was such a good idea.
-----
"Come on Rince. You can't chew on my arm forever." I whined at my granddaughter. She growled like a rabid dog. I groaned. The other Me had recombined with me earlier and I was preparing lunch for when Pyrone and Flora got back. Being able to grow more arms was helpful since I could do my work without her holding me back, but she had been chewing on my arm for a while.
It hurt. She had some really sharp teeth.
I winced when she gnawed on my arm again. Owie. Ow…
"We're home!" I heard Pyrone call out. I sobbed. "My savior!" I ran over to hug my son. He stared in disbelief at my arm stretching across the room and into Rince's crib. "Oh shit. Sorry Bill. Has she been...biting you this whole time?" I stared at him, my eye twitching "Oh, don't worry about me. I'm fine." Rince moved her jaw and ground her teeth into my arm. My eye teared up. "I'm...perfectly...fine…" I sniffled. Pyrone looked apologetic. "Rince! Honey! Spit out your grandpa!"
She fussed as Pyrone forced her jaws open and my arm zipped back to me like a tape measure. I cradled my hand. "I'm really sorry, we've been trying to get her not to bite…" Flora apologized as she patted my back. I nodded. "I said it's fine, I want to help out. Besides, Pyrone and his sister used to bite all the time too." Though they never did it as maliciously as Rince did.
"Thank you for coming by today." The new parents sighed. I laughed. "It's fine. It's always a pleasure helping out." I waved at Rince who was being held in her father's arms. "Bye Rince~爷爷 will come by to visit again soon~" She hissed at me. Yeesh.
I gave Flora and Pyrone a hug, narrowly avoiding another bite from my granddaughter, and went to go check on Quackers. My youngest child grinned when I floated into her shop. "Hi mom!" I gave her a quick hug. "How's business?" I asked. She grinned. "Much better since I got that training with Aunt Jessie. She really IS the best Healer in the multiverse." She showed me the new charms she'd made for Healing enchantments. "I've sent in my application for the hospital, they're putting me on a trial period to see if I can back up my credentials."
I nodded. Quackers as a licensed Healer would do great. We chatted for a bit before I sensed someone entering the shop and quickly shifted into my Miz form. Didn't want to scare away her customers. An elderly Pladibear came in. I froze. I recognized her. It was Quacker's birth mother.
"Hello again ma'am. The usual today?" Quackers smiled. I glanced at her. No recognition aside from what was apparently a regular customer. Oh, right. Quackers has no memory from before I found her. She knew she had siblings, living in a cold, dark house, but nothing beyond that.
I hung back and watched them interact. Quackers was perfectly friendly and helpful. The old woman had a faint sense of 'Regret' around her. I would be mad, how dare she regret after she willingly gave up her child? But I was too tired to be mad. She just felt so pathetic. The old woman glanced at me. "Oh, am I taking up your time for helping another customer?"
"No, that's my mom." Quackers laughed. The woman stared at me in shock. I gazed back, not quite challenging her. The woman finally said "I see." and left it at that. She brought out a charm and had it renewed. The enchantments ran out after a little while, the cheap ones at least.
Full on magic items were quite expensive. Most people bought small charms that would hold the effect for a certain amount of time before they had to be renewed. Even here, entropy was a thing. Magic leaked. Permanent magic effects required a lot of energy and were expensive. I actually think this is a marketing strategy for witches to earn money.
This energy leakage only applied in SOME dimensions and some types of spells. Even so, most magic was temporary.
I watch the woman leave. "So...who's that?" I asked. Quackers made a sad smile. "That's Graspper. She's a regular. Comes in for her pain reduction charm. She's pretty old and her bones are always aching. Nice woman, if a little confused."
"Confused?" I asked.
"For some reason she thought I was one of her kids at first. " Quackers said sadly. "Poor lady." I kept quiet. So she still wanted to take Quackers back? Maybe. Maybe not. Normally I'd fly into a rage at the thought of anyone attempting to claim what was mine, but she looked too pathetic for me to care about.
Besides, I can kinda understand how she feels to have a kid not acknowledge her. I rubbed my hand.
So I let this go. Let the old lady do what she wanted. I DID burn a little triangle into the ceiling though. Just in case.
----
I sat in the Nightmare Realm and split off another me. Ok. I was going to try this. The other me gripped onto my wrists. I went shock still as the other me pushed me down. I began to tremble. It's not scary. It's just me.
I tried to pull at my hand, tried to move, break free, get the other me off me. I looked down at myself. Saw my eye go wide and grow more frantic as I held him/me down. I could feel my own anxiety growing. Even when I knew there was no danger. I couldn't move. And that was the problem.
"No! Stop it! Get off!" I shook and blasted the other me off in a burst of flame. The other me winced as I sat up and curled in on myself. "Geez. What the hell? You know I can't hurt you. We're the same entity!"
I trembled. "I know that!" The other me sighed. "Dammit. We can do this! How about you try on me?" I glanced over. Despite the other me's words, he looked just as uncomfortable as I felt. "Maybe we shouldn't…" I muttered. "And I think we SHOULD! I'm SICK of this!" he screamed back. He made a frustrated sound "Fuck! I can't stand this!" He paced around, muttering to himself.
I sighed. "Fine. I'll try. Let's get this over with." I stretched out my hands to grab his wrists and pulled him to me. We were pressed up against each other, bricks rubbing and uncomfortably close. "Really? What are you doing?"
"A grapple?" "We don't even know how to do a proper grapple! We've never done this!" "Well what would YOU suggest?" "L-look, just...restrain me."
I gripped tighter, squeezing the thin wrists. My skin really IS soft. We both shuddered at this thought. I tightened my hold until it pinched painfully. I didn't have a pulse but I almost felt like it was rising. There was a pounding in my head and I felt the grip on my wrists begin to hurt. I tried to move but I couldn't. I struggled but I couldn't get free. I held myself down as I pulled and twisted and stared at myself in desperation.
And then everything was on fire.
When I finally came back to my senses, a whole chunk of the ground had been blasted away and I was alone again. I didn't know which Me had been destroyed but that wasn't important. We were all still the same. It didn't matter which of us had destroyed the other.
But this had been a failure. I laid down on my side and held back a sob. Why was I so bad at this? Did I not even feel safe with MYSELF?
I felt safe with my friends but I wouldn't risk them for this. What if I freaked out when they tried to hold me down? What if I hurt them? What if I ki-
No. I won't ask my friends to help me with this.
I'm going to deal with it myself. So no one got hurt. Except me. I can handle it. I can deal with it. I don't stay hurt and I can't stay dead so it's fine even if I end up destroying myself over and over again. As long as I keep trying. Repetition makes normalcy.
Normal is a comfort. I can get over this. I can. I will. I split off another me and tried again. The resulting explosion was almost expected.
---
Xanthar gave me a hug the second I got home. Hugs aren't the same as being bound. Hugs were fine. Xanthar hugs were safe. I relaxed into him, hoping he didn't notice the tremor in my hands.
"Bill, what the fuck did you do?! The news has been going wild!" Hectorgon bounced up with a grimace. I groaned, not wanting to leave my Xanthar snuggle time. A quick Flicker told me all I needed to know. I flicked my finger and called out to my newest shard of power. The being with 88 different faces appeared. Hectorgon jumped back in surprise.
I didn't bother raising my face to look at them. "Cut back. I don't need you scaring people into converting. It's not worth it. I don't need worshipers that badly." I told them with a lazy arm wave. Hectorgon was staring at the being in horror. I gestured to them "Hec, this is…" I needed to name them. "Facey." I decided lamely.
Fuck, I couldn't think of good names right now.
"They're my new Angel." I flopped over to get more comfortable on Xanthar. I was so tired. I closed my eye and tried to go to sleep. I hear Hectorgon make a choking sound. "Since when did you have Angels?!" I sleepily mumbled "Since like...yesterday?" Oh right. I waved my hand "So...Facey, these are Hectorgon and Xanthar. I also have more friends...and...like...be nice to my friends an' stuff…"
"Bill! I can't believe I'm saying this…" Hectorgon sighed. "Don't fall asleep yet! The news has been going nuts over your new…Angel...terrorizing people!" I nodded. Right, right. I pointed at Facey. "Don't do that." The being with 88 faces nodded. "Alright. How do I not scare people when I enact your will my lord?"
"I dunno...start your messages with 'Fear not' or something…" I sighed and let myself drift off. Xanthar's constant Calm emotions were so soothing. Just the thing I needed to feel better after my disastrous attempt at bondage therapy. I hear Hectorgon grumbling "And he's not even drunk this time…"
---
So apparently, my new angel had gone through their dimension demanding for people to worship me. I'm not even mad. It was my own fault for giving them such vague instructions. I decided they needed to learn more about me so they could realize that wasn't what I wanted out of them. Facey and I were spending some quality time together as I got to know them as a person. I felt bad for being unable to look at them very long though.
"Do you have to stare at me with all your eyes at the same time?" I asked. I knew it was hypocritical but I didn't like being stared at (not like this any way). Jan's fans don't count, I couldn't see them past the stage lights anyway so if I just ignored them I wouldn't feel awkward and self conscious. I've gotten used to Ammy's bland, unblinking stares. I haven't gotten used to Facey's. Said Angel continued to gaze upon me. "What are we doing, my lord?"
"I said you can call me Bill. And we are going to catch fish for dinner." I sat on the air, floating above the grass. I had invited my friends for a trip to the fishing planet. Catching and cooking fish seemed like a good way for everyone to get to know each other. Also, I wanted some fish.
Keyhole was loving this group activity. Claimed it was much nicer than rampaging. Though, my friends have been on good behavior. Pyronica hasn't gone on an eating spree even though they weren't grounded anymore.
Suddenly I heard Keyhole crying out as his line went taunt. "Ahh! What do I do?!" He cried. I flew over and grabbed him. "Reel it in!" I cried. Facey just watched us struggle with the line and appeared confused. "Whoa!" Keyhole cried as we were pulled forward. "Ronica! Help!" I pleaded as Keyhole and I were quickly losing ground. She hummed as she watched us get dragged forward.
"I could help...but watching you struggle is more fun." She sprawled on the grass and ignited the prickly plants with her flames. I groaned. "You're a butt!" She cackled and made no move to help. Because she's a butt! Keyhole squeaked when we were pulled right to the edge of the water. "Bill! Use your powers!"
"Ugh! Fine!" I grumbled and pulled at the line psychically to lift the fish from the water. It struggled uselessly against my power. "This is too easy! There's no fun in this!" I complained. Pyronica rolled onto her stomach. "But why struggle when you can just get it done easily?"
"The struggle is part of the fun!" I waved my arms "The epic battle of our guts and determination against their will to survive and fight!" a little fire surrounded my eye "Their struggle weakening as they grow tired and lose the will to keep fighting, as we break their spirits and show them that they were destined to be devoured by us!"
"That's pretty fucked up." Keyhole commented. "I thought we were just getting food." I nodded. "Of course we're getting food. There's no point in killing an animal without a reason. For mosquitoes, the reason is because they're awful and I hate them, for fish, it's because they're delicious~"
"....is that why mosquitoes are an endangered species?" Keyhole mumbled.
I was unhooking the line so I could try fishing again. The fish I caught was flopping around weakly. I felt a little bad so I placed it in a stasis bubble and sent it back to the pantry at home. Meat always tastes best when fresh after all. Facey floated over. "So...we are terrorizing fish? What purpose does this serve for you?"
"It serves to fill the pantry and our stomachs. I wanna make fillet for dinner tonight." I told them. They frowned. "But...you are a god. Shouldn't you be out gaining more worshipers to increase your power and influence?" I laughed easily "Naw. I'm good." I baited the hook and threw it out again before handing the pole to Keyhole. "I'm more for building up my power slowly over the years as I grow and learn and work for it. Besides, too much power all at once makes me sick."
Facey looked a little confused. "But...shouldn't you be out raining fire upon the innocent?"
"Why? There's no fun in that. If there's some conflict happening, or some asshole who needs their comeuppance, I'll be there. Otherwise, I'm just gonna chillax." I materialize some iced tea for the lot of us. Keyhole laughed and tapped his cup against mine with a soft 'clink' sound. "I like chillaxing. It's much nicer than running around a battlefield."
"Pfth! Speak for yourself!" Pyronica snorted. She lounged on the grass and scratched her horn. "I can't wait for the next party. I wanna set stuff on fire and shoot Federation drones." I materialized a little blanket to lay on the grass before I sat down. "Well, I'm sure the Feds are being dicks SOMEWHERE in the multiverse. If I find an excuse to interfere I'll tell you."
Facey looked so confused. I patted the blanket beside me. "Wanna sit and relax?" they floated over and settled onto the blanket with their multitude of faces spreading out. I couldn't help but ask "Do all your faces require food?" They stared at me. "Your power provides me all the energy I need to stay alive. Food is unnecessary."
"But what foods do you like? I tried to look it up but there were a sad lack of triangles in your life." I laid down on my back and enjoyed the faint sunlight. This planet was pretty far from it's local star. Just close enough for plants and animals to develop but the plants were a much darker green in order to absorb as much of the light as they could. The temperature here was somewhat cool, mild weather patterns...plenty of fish.
"I have never eaten before." Facey admitted. I gasped. "Didn't your previous god ever feed you?" Facey shook their heads. "There was no need. I could subside on his power so giving me food was simply redundant."
"That's awful! I'm gonna have to make you try everything until I know what foods you like!" My eye burned with determination! Facey looked a little worried.
---
"Ok. So that's a 'no' on star fruit jellies…" I ticked that off the list. Facey groaned. "This is unnecessary. I do not require food." I sighed. "Is the idea of consuming food really so unpleasant for you?" they had been making unhappy faces as their many mouths chewed on different food items all day. Facey paused. "We'll...it's a new experience for me and I'm a little intimidated."
I sighed. "Alright. If you really feel like that, we can stop." I flicked my bowtie. "I guess I'm being pushy?" Facey nodded "But you are a god, my god, my lord, I'm the one who should complain less and just go along with your desires."
"Its fine. If you really feel uncomfortable, I'll stop." I sighed and floated off. Facey followed. "Then, what would you have me do now, my lord?"
"I dunno. What did your old boss have you do?" I asked. Facey straightened up, a ripple effect traveling along their many faces. "I sent messages." they sounded quite pleased with themself. Well...I didn't really HAVE any jobs for them. I rubbed my bricks, feeling bad that I couldn't be a proper god for them.
"I really don't know what to do with you." I admitted. "I could have you spread my message to my worshipers, 'cause I don't want to talk to them, but you don't even know my message…"
"...isn't it just chaos and destruction?"
I frowned. "No. I'm a god of knowledge, chaos and destruction." Though mainly Energy and Death but I didnt like to talk about that too much. "Why don't people remember that?! I literally have a tv show called the Maze of Knowledge!" I fumed. "Just cause people always seem to summon me to ask for things besides information doesn't change the fact that information is what I was LITERALLY trying to go for…" the whole chaos and destruction thing are secondary!
I really...just wanted to be a god who would be able to help people...teach people...
Facey nodded. "Oh. I'm sorry. I wasn't aware...all that anyone knows about you is that you're dangerous and powerful. Unpredictable aside from your infamous appetite." I laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, you won't believe how many people give me sacrifices of food as they pray I wouldn't eat their planet." I still ate the sacrifices, free food is still food.
"So...what should I do?" Facey asked. I shrugged. "Do what you want to do. I don't really need the help. I like doing stuff myself." Facey seemed a little lost. "Is that why you don't have any other angels?"
I cleaned up the remains of all the food I've cooked and prepared for them. "I guess. Most of my shards of power end up as soulless, mindless beasts." Facey seemed confused. "But what of Amorphous Shape?"
"Ammy is my SON. There's a difference." I explained. He had a soul. He had his own will and personality. I've tried to interact with my Nightmares. They never changed over the years. I've tried to teach them to talk, to do simple tricks, to do anything besides rage and destroy everything they see. It never worked. Even the ones who COULD talk had a very one track mind and would talk about the same thing over and over.
Facey looked sheepish "So I should tell people you are a god of knowledge?" I nodded at him. "That would be appreciated. In fact, I need to go and update the library in the Maze of Knowledge. It always gets a massive boost in ratings when I do so." Facey requested to come to watch me work.
I secretly wanted my show to overtake Globnar on the charts. Yes, I'm that petty.
---
As I predicted, adding a hundred new books to the library kick started people's determination to try and find juicy forbidden knowledge. To keep the show from getting stale, I changed the hazards of the library now and again. Drowning was fun but I released a Nightmare or two into the maze and boy, people were horrified to find them. It did get more viewers though. Besides, my Curse teleported people out before they take lethal damage and to my bemusement, the producer told me that people were disappointed at the lack of gore and death.
I told him that I would rather not have to clean the blood off the bookshelves. Facey and I watched a new batch of contestants line up to try their luck. Some other bonus hazards I've added to the maze include pitfall traps, mirror traps, fire floors, electrified floors, swinging blades, rabbits, poison gas, extra floors up and down with physics that don't make sense and random banana peels. I really wanted to include transformation traps but my producer said to save those for a Hauntfest special.
Hauntfest is one of many holidays the Federation (and I) made to give people a time to celebrate and take a break from work. I introduced the idea of work holidays. People can't work constantly, they'll burn out and lose productivity. So now the Federation will have holiday breaks to celebrate random things. Crimbo is the biggest holiday but Hauntfest is what I'm looking forward to. In fact I invented it a few hundred years ago, it took a while to establish and the first governmentally enforced celebration would be a month from now. It's like Halloween but with more Necromancy, -bodily mutations- costumes and less candy. Shades of the dead will be summoned through a mix of mine and Time Baby's power for the first official celebration. Also, people need to wear costumes to look like monsters or ghosts so the ghosts don't try to haunt them.
I 'invented' Hauntfest because it was a good excuse for me and TB to work together that DOESN'T involve him exploiting me for his dirty work. It took so much careful planning and under the table Deals and Favors to get enough of the Federation council to agree to create this holiday. But the main reason I wanted to make this holiday a 'thing' was very simple.
I'm going to attempt to summon Will.
I don't even know if it will work. But Time Baby and I worked this out between ourselves. If we pool our power together we can create a summoning ritual to call for the Shade of someone long dead. The circle for this summon was TB's hourglass symbol inside a triangle, inside a circle. There were many careful runic spells around the edge of the circle and I was hoping, praying, this would work. Time Baby only agreed to this because I pestered him for a thousand years non-stop until he gave in. It wouldn't even effect the time stream so he has nothing to complain about.
I don't have enough power on my own, but belief is a power. If Hauntfest is a (governmentally enforced) holiday, I can make the Federation do all the work of spreading belief in the power of this holiday which should give me and TB the power boost needed to make this ritual WORK.
The first official Hauntfest wasn't until next month but the Federation has already been spreading the information around FOR me. Not that they know it was me who invented the idea for it. Everyone's looking forward to it. A chance to speak with the Shades of lost loved ones was a big motivator.
I know that the Shade of Will I try to summon isn't really Will. Shades are not Souls. They are the psychic impression of who that person had been. I got the idea for this when my friends pointed out I was speaking with them when they weren't actually there. So if I can interact with psychic impressions of my friends that react just like the real thing, if I get a power boost AND have Time Baby's help...perhaps I can summon Will.
But that's not until next month. I shook myself out of my thoughts to return to the present. I discussed a bit with my producer and made sure I got my cut of the profits from my show. By this point, the kids were old enough they didn't need the revenue from the show anymore so the credits were just going to my account. I asked Pyrone about starting a savings account for Rince but he insisted he could do it himself.
And hey, money was money. I might as well have a lot so I can continue to support the household. I don't have to pay rent or utilities but our grocery bill is pretty big. There are a lot of us and we eat a lot. Speaking of eating…
Facey followed me as I descended the staircase to check on Johan. Over the many years he has been down here, I have spruced up his cell so it was more like proper living quarters. I stopped his punishment a long time ago and he was free to leave, but the stubborn sheep refused. So he just lives here now. Apparently he took my statement that keeping him around and alive was annoying to heart and essentially stays here out of spite.
"You have a dungeon?" Facey asked. I nodded as I opened the wall and found Johan's room. "I sometimes put people down here for various reasons." I answered vaguely. Facey nodded. "Are you torturing people for information?" They asked. I scoffed. "I don't need to torture people for that. If they sleep, I can get inside their heads."
And most living things required sleep.
"Hey Johan~are you gonna move out yet?" I called out. He "Baah~"ed at me grumpily. Stubborn old goat. Huh...now that I think about it...I think only Google knows he's down here. The room was sparse but comfortable, nice bed, a bathroom attachment and even a desk and bookshelf. I considered getting him a TV but he refused it when I offered. Uhhh. Frankly, by this point I'm tempted to just toss him out and be done with it.
Facey stared as I pulled Johan into the bathtub to clean him off and then fed him. The damn goat seemed to have stopped even trying to take care of himself by this point. I sighed. "Why do you insist on staying here anyway? Time Baby has long since forgotten about that little blip on his senses that indicated I had told someone about his dark secrets. You're free to go. My kids are all grown up and moved out."
He refused to answer, turning his head away and folding his arms. I pat his fur before I floated back up to the rest of the house. "Come on Facey."
My angel was pretty quiet as we made our way back to the rest of the house. Finally they asked "What's his story?"
"Back when my kids were teenagers, a bunch of idiots hired assassins to try and kidnap or kill them. I stopped them. Google actually works for me now but Johan was still being held as punishment." I slumped over gracelessly on the couch. "Johan's actually finished his punishment but he refuses to leave and be free. What am I supposed to do at this point?"
Facey watched me, their many faces making all sorts of different expressions. "You are kinder than your reputation states." They said at last. "This is problematic."
I rolled onto my back to face (hah!) them. "How so?"
"The vast majority of your worshipers are awful people."
I scoffed. Don't I know it. "It's fine. There are some nice ones out there." Generally the ones who were my pseudo friends. The ones I mark with my symbol and protect because they asked me for protection. I should check on them. I flickered as I continued my conversation. "It doesn't bother my anymore."
Facey looked a little guilty. "I shouldn't have scared so many people."
"It's fine. I'm used to it." Hm, that Herphu labor worker is having trouble finding food. I normally just protect them from malicious intent but I have some free time. "Hey, wanna meet one of my nice worshipers?" I asked them.
---
The planet of Huron isn't the nicest place. It used to be, back in the day. The soil was rich, the air was filled with gases and the plant-like inhabitants were happy and healthy. But hunting the few animal species on the planet into extinction had led to too many plants and not enough other creatures to absorb the toxic levels of oxygen in the atmosphere which led to a mass extinction across the small planet.
The Federation, seeing the opportunity once all the inhabitants had perished, collected their bodies to use as fuel. A 'planet of opportunity' they called it. People were hired as Miners and it was actually pretty good. People got jobs, people got paid. If you ignored that they had been hired to essentially collect a whole planet of dead bodies, it wasn't a bad gig for the poor labor workers to earn a lot of Credits.
But it didn't mean the living conditions on the job were very good.
Huron's atmosphere had too much oxygen. It choked the planet in a layer of cold. The workers needed to wear air filters. There was nothing living on the planet that they could hunt for food and the Federation was cheap with their supplies to keep their hired workers alive.
I knew that if you waited a few million years, life would start again. What little life that survived this die out would evolve and grow and change until life returned. That's always how it worked. Wait long enough and things change.
But mortals can't afford to wait. They have to do what they can with what they're given. I bring Facey with me, placing a bubble around them to protect them from the environment, and found the Herphu. I waved cheerfully. "Yo! I saw you were having a bit of trouble. What's up?"
She jumped at my voice and there was a conflicting sense of relief and caution. "H-hello mister Cipher." She nodded politely, almost bowing to me. Her eye stalks didn't look away from me however. I can see the triangle mark along the side of one, a mark signifying she was MINE and that no one was allowed to harm her or face my wrath.
"So. New job?" I looked around leisurely at the wheelbarrow piled high with bodies that she was pushing toward the loading bay of the cargo ship. "Have to say, I think your last job had better decor." I lid my eye at her. She straightened up, saw that I was relaxed and calm, and managed a small smile. "Well, a job's a job." she gave Facey a suspicious look. "Why are you here? I didn't call for you...sir."
"Well I noticed you were hungry and how could I, as the kind and loving god that I am-" I ignored her incredulous expression "-let you go hungry?" I waved my hand and dragged some of the oxygen from the atmosphere to mold into a pile of nutrient bars and rations. Her eyes don't go wide, Herphu's anatomy did not allow for that, but I can see that she was very thrilled to see my generous gift. She ducked her head into another bow. "Thank you for your generosity." She said before she gathered up the food and carried it back to the housing vessel the Federation had provided for the workers to live in.
I made Facey and I invisible so we could observe. She shared her boon with the other workers, passing out the rations to everyone. That made me smile. I placed a mild Curse to make the food replenish itself after a few days. I guess I COULD have made a Blessing instead but I still don't have full control over that particular power and I didn't want to mess with it too much until I knew more.
Facey was watching the Herphu. "She's kind." They said at last. I nodded. "That's what I want in a worshiper. Someone who cares about others." The being with 88 different faces turned to look at me, really paying attention now. "I see. I'm...sorry for misunderstanding you, my lord."
I shrugged. "Most people do. It's fine. Well-" I stretched and groaned in satisfaction when my bricks clicked. "-Oof! I'm gonna head home. Are you coming?" I asked them. Facey slowly shook their heads. "No. I think I wish to travel on my own for a while. I have much to think about."
I shrugged and left them to it. I won't force them to stay if they don't want to. I was trying really hard to stop being so possessive. Hm. Y'know what?
It's been a while since I dragged Kryptos away from his studies to make him play a round of Maid RPG with me...
----
"I can't believe I'm saying this but...can't we play Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons instead?" Kryptos sighed. I whined and put down the maid outfit. Recently I had realized that forcing Kryptos to wear them might have been mean. Even if I could feel that he was enjoying it, I still probably shouldn't have forced it on him.
"Alright." I put the maid outfit down and Kryptos gave me a startled look. He probably expected me to keep pushing or forcing the dress on him anyway despite his protests. "I'm gonna go get Pyronica so we can play together." I turned away and felt odd at the taste of Disappointment I could feel from Kryptos. But...I...shouldn't force him if he says no.
I got everyone settled down for a round of D&D. As per usual, Pyronica did everything in her power to murder hobo her way through everything. Still, frustrating as it was, the group managed to complete two short jobs and even discovered a letter to give them a clue towards the plot of the campaign.
I noticed a lot of weird glances from Kryptos all through the game and after we wrapped up for the day I asked him what was bothering him. The polytool refused to look me in the eye "It's nothing."
"...do you want to wear a maid outfit?" I asked softly. No one else was in the room now, they'd all cleared off. He opened his mouth to protest, to deny it. But he didn't actually do so. Instead he made a sound like "Auurghuuuu!" And turned around to float away. I was left confused about the odd taste of his emotions.
Well, I guess he's too embarrassed to admit it? I decided I wouldn't push him. He'll agree in his own time. Until then, I'm gonna go check on Earth. Maybe if I show up early enough in its history I can become part of mythology?
---