Chapter 64 - -A Tale of Two Stans-(Part 1)

---

I was sitting in the Nightmare Realm meditating. Trying to at least. The cacophony of madness here was always horrifying but that's what made it a good place to do this. If I could focus even under these circumstances then I can focus through ANYTHING.

I had a lot to think about, the twins were growing up and I didn't want that. But I know that I can't keep them forever. It would be even more selfish than I normally was. So I came here, to this ever shifting hellscape that was my Realm and tried to think things over after purging myself of everything inside me, my powers free to run as wild as they want here until I felt calmer.

One of my nightmares was swirling along the ground a few yards from me. The closest it dared to come. I've made it clear how I felt about my personal space. The charred remains of another nightmare that TRIED to get any closer served a good warning to the others.

They may be soulless and mad, but they weren't STUPID.

I closed my eye and breathed slowly. Focus. Focus on my mind. My emotions, my security settings. I have a bunch of runes carved around the Exit door now. The problem was testing them. I realized pretty quickly that making it so that only I can go through the door wasn't really gonna work if the people trying to get in were other MES.

I had the runes carved anyway, better safe than sorry, in case something that WASN'T another Bill Cipher ever tries to come in.

I was so worried about dimensional travelers coming in through my door, I completely forgot about that fact that ACTUAL portals existed. I blame that for my surprise when said portal opens up at the base of the mountain I was meditating on and spits out two screaming young men.

The ACTUAL fuck?!

---

(Third person POV)

Ford and Stan didn't stop screaming, not even when they hit the floor and lifted dust, or what looked like dust, around them. The world looked like it was constantly moving around them. The sky was the wrong color and...was that mountain upside down?! Stan screamed some more before puking onto the ground. Ford was staring around with wide eyes. "No! No no no no! This is bad! We need to go! We need to hide!" He pulled on Stanley who was still gagging and tried to pull him to his feet. "Come on Stanley we have to go! He could be here any second!" Ford looked close to breaking down.

"Ford...The...fuck…" Stanley panted as he clutched at the burn on his shoulder. He didn't understand what was going on. His shoulder hurt, he was dizzy and nothing made sense. He couldn't and he didn't want to understand. He just wanted to go back home and for this to be over!

Ford coughed at the smell of blood and ash in the air, he stared at the wild swirls of colors in the sky...and at the giant monstrosity that looked like a an avocado left in the sun for too long (but covered in TEETH) lumbering towards them. This was definitely the Nightmare Realm. He had failed. The portal had opened...or not? The portal seemed to have closed once he and Stanley were sucked through. Small miracles.

But that didn't change the fact that he (and poor Stanley) were going to die and it was all HIS fault. That monster Bill Cipher! And...Ford couldn't help the bitter thought, Seb...his own brother who he now knew (or believed he knew) had been Bill's puppet all along!

"Stan...Stanley, come on!" Ford grunted as he tried to move his heavier, larger brother. He was tired, he hadn't eaten in who knows how long, slept in less, but Stanley didn't know about any of this, this wasn't his fault! He needed to protect his younger brother!

"What-What is this place…" Stanley was in shock, his body refused to cooperate with him.

Bill peered over the edge of the upside down mountain at them. What the fuck? He saw one of the nastier nightmares crawling towards the two men. Oh HELL no. Bill jumped off the edge of the mountain (screaming internally at the height, shit, he did NOT think this through) and flew down there quickly.

"HEY! Back off! These guys aren't food!" Bill snarled as he flared out his fire along the ground and up the nightmare's body. It screeched in pain with a voice that sounded like a chorus of young children and quickly turned to lumber away. Bill glared at it's retreating form. "Yeah! You better run asshole!"

Seriously, damn nightmares, pests, the lot of them. At least that one doesn't TALK. Bill shuddered at the memory of that stupid arm-head thing that was still dragging itself around here somewhere.

Ford lifted his head and stared in pure terror at the demon floating in front of them. His entire body trembled as he stepped in front of his equally shocked and terrified brother. "NO! NO! GET AWAY!" Ford growled. Even without his glasses, he really needed to grab the extra pair from his pocket, he could see the triangle demon in front of him.

"Kill ME! But don't hurt Stanley! Please!"

Bill blinked at the man, who was obviously a young Ford and holy shit what the fuck was a Ford AND Stan doing here, and lowered himself down to stand on the ground, small, non-threatening. He needed to calm them down first.

Stan managed to react enough to stand up behind his brother. It would usually be the other way round, but he didn't know what he was facing, and it was obvious Poindexter did.

"Ford...The fuck is that shit…"

Bill frowned, a little offended. "Did you just call me a-"

"ARGH!" Ford kicked dust into Bill's eye, taking the chance since that idiot came down low enough and screamed. "MOVE, STANLEY! RUN!"

"AAAAUUUUGGGH! FFFFFUCK! WHY THE EYE?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE EYE?!" Bill shrieked as he rubbed at his sensitive organ. Ok, part of him was kinda... irked ...now and it was taking more than he thought to stop himself from setting that IMPUDENT brat on fire.

He rubbed at his eye and blinked rapidly, his bricks pulsing red and he tried very hard not to lose his temper. Calm. Calm. Can't just blast these guys like he did to everyone else who tried shit like this, those two were IMPORTANT and needed to be alive. Besides, a Ford and Stan popping out at the same time? After hearing Seb talk about how he lost both brothers to a portal?

Yeah, he could do the math and for the first time the answer WASN'T fish.

Ford and Stan hid in a cave, gasping for air and trembling.

"Did you just kick dust into a demon's eye, Ford?! Now its gonna try to kill us EVEN MORE!!" Stan roared but Ford quickly shushed him by putting his twelve fingers over his mouth.

"Shut up! Shut up!" He hissed. "Bill will kill us no matter what, so just keep quiet and he might get bored and leave." Stanford knew that wasn't true. But why scare his triplet more than necessary? The six-fingered man shakily looked for his extra pair of glasses and thanked himself for being so careful about this. They weren't even broken!

Bill grumbled. If those two weren't Ford and Stan, heck, if there wasn't the possibility that they were Seb's Ford and Stan, he wouldn't be going through the trouble for this. He looked around. Smart kid, hiding himself the instant line of sight was lost.

Sadly, this was HIS world. HIS space. HIS realm to twist to his desires. Bill took a deep breath and then a pulse of flame came rushing out of him, like a ripple in a pond, it spread far and wide all around him and cleared the area of all non-organic life. The ground vanished, the mountain vanished. The flames seared them all away while leaving the trees and lingering nightmare creatures unharmed. They all floated in the newly made empty space.

Bill glanced around and easily spotted the two tiny (compared to all the confused nightmares) human figures. "Found you~" he sang cheerfully. Now he just needed to get them into his cabin where it was SAFE and explain things to them.

"We're going to die…" Stan pointed out when he saw that their hiding spot had disappeared. "I-I need to lay…" He dropped like lead on Ford's shoulder who grimaced in panic. No! No! Not now, stupid knucklehead!

Ford closed his eyes and hugged his triplet. They were going to die...Why not accept his fate already? He created the portal, he should die for it.

Bill floated up to them, looks like Stan fainted and Ford had his eyes screwed shut with a resigned look. Geez. Dramatic much? Bill rolled his eye and flicked his fingers, deciding it would be simpler to teleport then all into his cabin rather than risk them fighting back and hurting themselves.

The three of them appeared inside his living room with a 'pop' and Bill was even kind enough to drop the Stans on his couch. "We good? No, I don't think so. Put your brother down. I'm gonna make some tea." Bill stated before turning and floating to the kitchen, leaving the humans in his cozy and tastefully decorated living room.

Ford frowned confused, still waiting for Bill to torture him and Stanley as punishment for turning off the portal. He didn't want TEA! He wanted to get out of here!

"Stan...Stan, wake up!" Ford shook his brother by the shoulders, and with one firm slap, the other man opened his brown eyes, confused.

Bill hummed cheerfully as he rummaged through his cabinets. Hm...he's got Earl Purple...ChaiChai...Viridian powders...or maybe some Sinberry mix would work better? "Hey." He leaned out of the kitchen door "Do you want a sweet tea or are you more for the herbal stuff? I also have some berry flavors?"

"I want a drink." Stan mumbled tiredly and massaged his forehead. He leaned against the couch and hissed in pain.

"Don't ask him for food, Stan!" The man with dark bags under his eyes scolded his triplet before reaching out a hand hesitantly at the inflamed burn mark on his brother's skin. Guilt filled him. He never meant for Stan to get hurt. This was all Sebastian's fault! If he hadn't started that fight-

"The hard stuff huh? I got some vintage bottles from a family friend that I haven't opened?" Bill called out to them as he thought about the entire wine cellar's worth of alcohol he's received from the Literatura familia through the years. "Hang on while I go grab a few and you tell me which one you'd like."

Bill floated to a wall that became a door leading to a basement where he stored stuff. It was really more of a modified Madness Bubble that he used for storage purposes.

Ford grabbed his brother's hand and forced him to stand up. Door! They needed to get out! Bill was going to drug them and then torture them!

"By the way." Bill called from the stairway "Don't bother trying to escape, there are no doors that lead out unless I say so." really though, he was accommodating, he wasn't STUPID.

Ford whimpered and started hitting the walls as Stan watched him. "Let us go, you insane monster!"

"Ford, stop. Don't you see the flying Dorito just wants to give us drinks?" Stan had had meetings at work where he thought he was talking to real demons, even worse than this one. He was good at reading people, this triangle didn't have any malicious intentions. It looked kind of funny now that he saw him closely.

Bill took a few different bottles, oh. He remembered THIS one. He bottled it together with Jorgio. He remembered how the kid had summoned him to request he be the best man during his wedding to Nartina. Good times. Bill held the bottles carefully as he went back upstairs and sealed the door back into a wall with a thought.

"So you can come check these out. I promise they're not poison but if you're really that worried I will allow you to test them or whatever." Bill left the bottles on the table and went back to the kitchen where the kettle was hissing. He was going to make some tea for himself. Alcohol and explanations weren't a very smart combination. He poured the water into a large teapot with the bag he chose and floated a few wine glasses out from the cupboards.

Ford made a disgusted face, he'd never drink tea again, not after Bill and him always had tea in his Mindscape. Tea was leaf water created by demons!

Stan smiled and was going to grab a glass to pour himself a drink, but his triplet hit his hand and made him retreat it.

"What do you want? Stop playing games, Cipher!! Why are you acting like this?! Just kill us and be done with it!"

"Don't give him permission, Sixer!"

Bill sighed, flicked his fingers to heal the burn on Stan's shoulder (which made Stan gasp in shock as he traced the burn mark, it didn't hurt anymore but there was still a distinct mark), put his teapot on the table and sat down at a chair. "You're operating under a pretty terrible misunderstanding here." Bill rubbed his side. "You guys are very far from home." He narrowed his eye. "Like, REALLY far."

"Whatcha mean by far?" Stan asked. "We can go back, though, right?"

"This is what Fiddleford saw when he was almost sucked into the Portal…" Ford mumbled. "But, but you aren't hurting us...I-I don't get it."

Bill sighed. "Okay…" how to explain this? "Do you know what parallel dimensions are?"

"No?" Stan scratched his head. "Dimensions created parallel to ours?"

Ford grimaced and looked at his brother shaking his head. Why was he responding?!

Bill hummed. "It's like...you wake up in the morning and you decide to have eggs for breakfast. But what if you decide you want pancakes instead? Boom, something that simple already created two parallel timelines." Great, now he wanted pancakes. Dammit.

"Pancake dimension..." Stan nodded. He thought he understood. "Man, now I want Stancakes."

"No one likes Stancakes." Ford mumbled under his breath.

"Excuse me? Carla adores them!"

"I'd like to try a Stancake…" Bill whined quietly.

"Oh, it is actually pretty easy, kid!" Stan smiled. "You see-"

"Stop!" Ford ordered his younger brother of 8 minutes, and then faced the demon. "Answer my question, Cipher. Why are you acting like this? Like you aren't...you..." Ford's brown eyes widened in realization.

"You aren't the Bill I talked to." Ford said faintly.

Bill rolled his eye. "Finally figured it out huh? I'm not YOUR Bill Cipher. I'm a DIFFERENT Bill from an alternative dimension." He folded his hands in front of him on the table. "But I am still A Bill Cipher and if there's one thing that's true of most Bills, we know LOTS of things."

"Woah! Woah! What is going on here?" Stan shook his hands. "So you really made a deal with a demon, Ford?! I can't believe you!"

Bill shrugged. "Cut him some slack, I can say with great authority that I am charming as fuck~and there's no doubt my alternative was much the same." He poured himself a cup of tea and sipped it with his eye. "Plus, I get the feeling little Fordsie here isn't the best judge of character."

"Pfft! Tell me about it!" Stan laughed. "He's almost 25 and can't really tell when people are lying or not."

Ford glared at him and Stan coughed. "Sorry but it is true."

Bill straightened up. "Clearly." he shook his head "But let's move onto the important part of this conversation. How you got here and how you're gonna get home."

He squinted at them. Time for the moment of truth. "Are you perhaps...related to a Sebastian Pines?"

"Yes!"

"No."

Bill blinked slowly. "So...is that a maybe?"

"FORD!" Stan shouted.

"He is not my brother, not anymore! I only have a twin, and it is this idiot." Ford nodded at Stan. "Oh, and Sherman."

'Oh sure, your youngest brother is an afterthought.' Bill nodded. "I think I understand who you are now. Geez…" his voice dropped quieter but not enough that the Stans couldn't hear him "Poor Seb is trying so hard to save this ungrateful ass too. Gosh I hope my Ford's not like this." frankly, from what Ford's he's seen so far...they kinda seemed like idiotic assholes.

Then again, these were all Fords that had been betrayed by their Bills (though that one with the binding circle he didn't know the full story of yet…) and that could be part of the reason for this anger and mistrust.

Bill sighed. "Look. I don't know what issue you might have with Sebastian but he is working tirelessly to fix the portal and bring you two home…"

"No! He's Bill! He's working with Bill and he's going to destroy the whole world-!"

Bill stuck the smaller end of the wine bottle into Ford's mouth, pouring the stuff down his throat "...and he's doing that because he loves you both. So you've got a few options here, either you stay here for about…" Bill did some calculations in his head, if the Stans had to be aged up to match Sebastian for when they can finally return to their own dimension…

"...13 years, which is how long it would take Sebastian to fix the portal and get it up and running again…"

Stan made a choked noise. Ford made a muffled protest, pulling at the wine bottle but realized it was being held in place by some sort of demon magic. He was forced to swallow the wine to keep from choking.

He refused to admit it tasted pretty good.

"Or you can go and travel the multiverse for 13 years while you wait for the portal to be fixed." Bill finished.

Stan protested "Can't ya send us home NOW?" 13 years...how could he spend 13 years here? Carla...the ring...he was gonna propose…

"I'm sorry." Bill said. And he really WAS sorry. "But time in your dimension has progressed without you. Around 13 years has passed since you fell into the portal. So...you will need to live out 13 years in order to properly Synch back into place with your time stream."

"I...don't understand what you're saying!" Stan cried. "I just want to go home!"

Ford continued pulling at the bottle. Dammit Stan! Help! He made muffled sounds and pulled at Stan's sleeve. Bill looked over at him and flicked his fingers, freeing the scientist's mouth. "Sorry 'bout that. Didn't want you interrupting our conversation."

Ford gasped for air when the bottle pulled away and he got up, ready for an angry remark but when he opened his mouth the only sound to escape him was a loud hiccup. He swayed in place and Stan grabbed his older brother when the scientist fell over. Bill looked at the bottle in his hand. "Huh. Didn't think a guy that big would be such a lightweight."

"Ford? Ford?!" Stan slapped Ford's face lightly. His triplet's eyes were glazed over in the tell tale sign of someone who was utterly smashed. Damn, Stan wanted him some of that booze. He shook his head. No. Not the time. As much as he wanted to.

"Alright demon, why did you get Sixer drunk? And don't say it was an accident, you were definitely hoping for this outcome."

Bill smiled. Just like the Stan he met in that other world, this Stan was JUST as perceptive. Much smarter than he appeared, or at the very least, way better at understanding people. "I wanted to talk to you without ol' Fordsie here interrupting or doing something stupid to piss me off." Bill sighed. "Do you have any idea how close I came to killing the two of you when he frickin' kicked dust in my eye?"

Stan shivered. Yeah. He TOLD Ford that was a bad idea. "R-right." he lifted the softly protesting scientist and laid him down on the couch. "So...what did you want to talk about?"

"You, actually. What it is that you want to do now? I doubt you want to be stuck in this cabin for 13 years. I am also worried about letting you guys run wild out in space. How are you expecting to breath for one thing."

'Plus, if what I've learned from the Journal 3 book is any indicator, the two men weren't going to be HERE for very long .' Bill thought. The portal's instability meant that another portal will just appear near them at any time and they will be whisked away to some other dimension.

Speaking of which, Bill flicked his fingers and Stan gasped as his insides shift. Ford made a distressed moan from the couch. Stan patted himself down. "What did you just do?!"

"You won't die in the void of space now. Congrats." Bill informed him plainly. He was being unusually calm today. Then again, he had bled out a lot of the madness inside him earlier (tear his bricks open, it hurt so good) before he started meditating so his mind was quiet and calm (when he wasn't dealing with fucking DUST in his EYE) so he was...saner than he's been in a while.

It wouldn't last. It never did.

"Uh...thanks I guess? But shouldn't you have asked first?" Stan grumbled, a little weirded out by how his body had apparently been altered without any warning. Bill shrugged. "I confess I've lost a lot of my sense of social propriety over the years."

"....right…."

"But back to the topic at hand." Bill leaned back in his chair. "What do YOU want to do while you're waiting for the time to catch up?"

"Are you sure Sebas will bring us back?" Stan asked softly.

Bill nodded. "He's been working to do that for a long time. He's not a mechanical engineer, he didn't go to college for science, he barely knows how the portal works, but he is still trying."

Ford made a mumbled angry sound. "He's...puppet...c'ntrolled by Bill…"

"Yes and no." Bill thought about how to explain this without lying or giving away Seb's secret. "He is connected to Bill Cipher...but he isn't...a puppet...not...exactly…"

Ford turned his head blearily to stare, unfocused, at Bill. "Wha you...mean?"

"I'm afraid you'll need to ask him yourself. All I will say is that Sebastian Pines loves you very much. He will not stop working on the portal until he gets you back...or he dies trying…"

Stan grimaced. He hoped Seb didn't die for them...

"You know, demon." Stan smiled. "I drove for hours to meet with this Brainiac and he didn't offered me any food. I'm starving." He ruffled Stanford's greasy hair.

Bill sipped his tea. "Do you want a drink?" He offered up one of the other bottles. "No offense if I refrain from any wine myself, you don't want to see what happens when I'm drunk." he paused. "Or do you want ACTUAL food? I can do that too. What sort of thing were you thinking of?"

"Food, any food, man."

Ford groaned. "Sstooo...p...Sstaannn!"

Bill nodded. "How about some Bolognese? I'm up for some pasta with meat sauce…" he floated off the chair and into the kitchen. He sort of wanted to do a cooking show but he was hungry, Stan was hungry, Ford looked like he hadn't eaten in days...yeah, just normal cooking today.

Bill quickly puttered about his kitchen, getting the ingredients together, or materializing them when he was out, and had the meat and tomato sauce simmering in no time. He hummed happily as he shook some crushed basil into the pan.

While Bill cooked, Stan snorted amused, who knew a demon knew how to cook? And just leaned against his drunk ass older brother and sighed.

They were lucky. They could have been taken to a world with real monsters, with a 'Bill' who wanted to really hurt them...if that had happened, he wouldn't have the chance to get back to Carla…

Stan sighed. "Sebastian will bring us back, Ford...He's our brother...our triplet."

Ford mumbled in a daze "...n't trussss...Bill…"

"Paranoid ain't he?" Bill commented as he got some more vegetables together. "Not that I blame him. Sounds like your Bill did a number on him. Seb said your Bill was an asshole."

"Ford brought it upon himself…" Stan shook his head. "None of them trusted me enough to help...Ford making deals with demons and Seb in prison and trying to...you know, hurt himself…" Stan felt guilty he had been living fine, even though he knew it wasn't his fault.

"I hurt myself too. It's...how I stay sane." Bill comments lightly.

"That doesn't sound very sane, but hey! What do I know?" Stan shrugged. "I'm in another dimension talking to a Dorito demon, no offense."

Bill giggled. "None taken. But yeah, I know it doesn't make much sense. Nothing about me makes sense…" he stirred the noodles around in the sauce. "Well, food's done."

"Oh, thank goodness! Um...evilness? Haha."

Even drunk, Ford managed to roll his eyes.

"Thank Ax is more like it." Bill grinned. "He's the one you should thank. If it weren't for him I probably would have been even more fucked up than I already am. Might have even turned out like your Bill."

"Jeez." Stan made a face but smiled when Bill handed him a plate. "Thanks."

"no...eat...Staannn...Nnoooo" Ford tried to reach the plate but his brother moved it out of his reach.

"Bad nerd. Bad."

Bill looked at his plate and shifted into his William form so he could eat and taste the food. No point making good food if he couldn't taste it. His triangular body stretched out and became more humanoid. Bill groans a little and shakes himself. Ugh, always with the sore joints when he changes into a form with bones.

"Woah…" Stan blinked a few times. "Cool. Saw that, nerd?!"

Bill stretched his arms over his head and arched back until his newly formed spine popped. "Ah~much better~" he moaned in content. Well, time to eat. He dug in ravenously, slurping up the noodles.

Stan didn't mind at all, only the skies knew how many awful people he had to stand at work who did more than just eat like cavemen, and continued talking to the demon. He should get to know him. It would probably be useful to do so.

"So you live in this madness all by yourself? It can't be very nice." Stan took a sip of his drink. "Holy moses, this is so good! What grape is this?!"

"An alien kind. Grown through feeding on ash fertilizer sprinkled on their soil." Bill had his cheeks bulging adorably before he chewed and swallowed. "I have a partnership with the family that owns the vineyard so I get a few bottles from each batch."

"Alien food sounds nice." Stan wondered if he should try feeding Ford some noodles. He was deadly pale.

"Funny story. Tomatoes are tomatoes no matter what dimension you're in. Same with potatoes. They were cultivated in the same way."

Stan smiled at Bill and just decided to feed Ford the food a forkful at a time. Ford was so far gone he accepted being fed like a child.

"So...about the-um-portal thing...Thirteen years is a lot... We'd be almost out of our thirties! I don't want to spend those golden years trapped here!"

Bill wiped his mouth. "I figured. Well you're still...for lack of a better term, tainted with portal energy. It means that more portals will just open up near you until you get back to your home dimension. So...you and Ford are gonna be spending 13 years on space adventures."

"Heh, that...doesn't sound bad at all! We'd explore outer space! And see aliens! And punch them!" Stan's brown eyes lit up. "This is like an upgrade of our dream as kids! Sail across the universe!"

Bill grinned wide, sharp teeth on full display, but not in a threatening way. "I'm loving your optimism kid. It'll help you in the long run. Now I've already ensured you can breathe in space and survive in a vacuum...Hm...what else do you need?" Bill's smile twitched when he felt his demonic instincts rear their ugly head. "Oof, never mind...I can't grant you guys any more freebies…" Healing and feeding guests? That was fine. It was only polite to provide for guests. But actively giving them stuff for free?

He held a hand up to his chest where he could feel an uncomfortable sensation pulsing in his bricks. "My nature as a demon literally won't allow me to help you any more than this without getting something in return."

Stan smiled. "I'm listening. Tell me your price for more dorito help!"

Ford managed an urgent grunting of distress. He shook his head back and forth. "....nnngh…" he moaned.

"Sshh, the businessman is talking, brother." Stan waved him off. "We just need time. To sort things out, wait for Ford to sober again and see what we will do in these years of waiting. Let us stay and I'll agree to your conditions...within reason of course I'm not dumb."

Bill hummed, his ears twitching. "There is...one thing that I want at the moment…" he leaned in, smiling shyly. "It...might sound kinda weird but I swear it's not meant to be anything...strange."

"Spill."

Bill blushed a little. This would be asking a lot from an essential stranger, but he's watched Gravity Falls and a part of him, the same one that recognized Bill's henchmanics, the same part that made him grow fond of the other Bills he met, was making him feel like he could trust Stan.

"C-can…" Bill wiggled in his seat and looked up at Stan with a faint blush. "Can I have some head pats?" he really missed physical contact. His friends were always too afraid to do more than the occasional hug (except Xanthar who was a huge snuggler) or tugging on his arms and legs. The children were a little more touchy but he didn't want snuggles.

He wanted a head pat. A proper, deliberate head pat. He never asked his friends for this because they already treated him like a kid and if he ever revealed how much he wanted someone to brush his hair or pet his head...the teasing would never stop.

Bill was already blushing at the gobsmacked look on Ford's face. Even drunk he pulled it off quite well.

"Wha?..." He mumbled.confused. This wasn't real! This wasn't possible. "Iizz a trAp!" He cried, worried, trying to stop his brother. However, laying down with his head on Stanley's knee as Stan firmly held him in place wasn't helping. "Nnngh No!"

Stan raised an eyebrow, making the same confused and contemplative face that Bill had seen on Sebastian and shrugged. "Sure. Ok." Stan agreed to the terms. "And we get to rest with ya and receive your help until we know what to do."

Bill's hand was engulfed in blue fire and after hesitating for just a second because Sebastian made a similar blue fire appear before accidentally pushing them to this mess, Stan shook his hand.

Bill sighed as the Deal settled into place. A rather unorthodox one sure but these two weren't gonna be spilling his secret (embarrassing) wishes to the multiverse. He sat down on the couch and frowned a little at the height difference. Dang, why did the Stans have to be so tall? This close he could get a better look at the burn mark on Stan's shoulder. Interesting mark, some sort of combination rune. Earth, sky, sun...was that a portal? Gateway from the heavens to the earth?

"Just my head ok? Don't touch me anywhere else." He said quietly, deciding it wasn't important right now.

Stan smiled and nodded. Of course he wouldn't. He looked at the cyclops's blond hair and ruffled it softly with an amused grin.

Bill wiggled and made a happy squealing sound. His ear twitched and he closed his large eye to lean in and rub his head against Stan's hand, much like a small animal. "Ooh~that feels nice~"

"Are you part cat or something?" The young man smiled funnily. This was weird, true, but if it meant they'd be protected and helped by a powerful being. It was worth it.

"Not at all. I just enjoy being pet…then again...I do love eating fish...and I get distracted by dangling things...and I bat at stuff if you wiggle it in front of me…" Bill made a weird expression. "Um...I haven't tried out the laser pointer thing yet…" Bill kept quiet about how he also liked killing things and eating them, that was just usual demon behavior right? And it's not like he kills innocent people on his own. Just rude people who attack his family.

Stan massaged the demon's scalp and snorted when he moaned happily. He really missed this...as kids, Sebas also liked it when people played with his hair. Stan wondered if he still enjoyed it. It's been a while since they saw each other…

A few minutes later, the head massage session ended. Bill had started leaning against Stan's side at some point and was rumbling in content.

Ford couldn't keep himself awake anymore and fell asleep after battling with his exhaustion and drunkenness. Stan looked at him and yawned. He was full, a nap would be nice…"

"Right...you guys need beds...hang on…" Bill waved his hand and a door appeared on a nearby wall. It opened to reveal a large bedroom with a huge king sized bed. "There's a bathroom in there too with some basic toiletries if you want…" Bill got up and stretched, sighing as his joints popped. "If you need anything else, feel free to ask."

Stan simply nodded and looked at his unconscious older brother. "Heh…" He said softly. It reminded him of when they were kids, Ford would stay up late reading and Stan would need to get him to their room before Ma scolded him for staying up.

He wrapped an arm under his brother's arms and lifted him. He carried his brother to the bed and dropped him there, chuckling when he bounced a bit but otherwise didn't wake up.

"Sleep, Poindexter...Looks like you haven't done that in years…" Stan whispered as he stroked his brother's hair. He hoped he'd take a bath later. His hair looked awful and he hadn't shaved.

Bill saw them settle into the bed and floated off outside his cabin, a door appearing and disappearing as he went. The serene quiet of the cabin was replaced by the tortured screaming of his nightmares as he stepped outside. Ugh. Always hated that part. Bill leaned against the cabin and thought to himself. These were Seb's brothers. The ones he worked so hard for. Bill felt he owed Seb to look after them, at least until they were prepared to leave.

"Which means keeping them safe...which wouldn't be possible here..." he muttered to himself, looking out at the broken, floating landmasses that populated this world. The Madness Bubbles allowed for stability in the places it encompassed but it was also a bubble, fragile and easily popped If he weren't here to maintain them.

It was too dangerous to keep them here if Bill had to leave for whatever reason. He's gotten better at multitasking but maintaining the Nightmare Realm has always been a tough task. He normally didn't care if any of the Nightmares were obliterated from existence when the areas of stability failed, they had no souls, but keeping Stan and Ford here? Not gonna be good in the long run. A few weeks sure, but better safe than sorry...

Bill nodded to himself. Looks like the Death Star would be getting more crowded. Maybe he should tell them first? A bit of his mischievous side reared up. Naw~it'll be a surprise!

---

The next morning...well, not morning since there was neither day nor night here...

Stan grunted tiredly as he stretched. "Carlaa…" He whispered but his tired eyes widened when he wasn't met by Carla's beautiful smile, but with his own sleeping face.

"Right…" Ford, the demon. Portal thing.

He stayed in bed for a little longer but eventually left the bedroom, his curious nature aching to explore. Besides, he could smell someone was cooking. Bill was still in his strange Cyclops humanoid form but now with a bright blue apron over a...maid outfit???

"Um...Hi?"

Bill turned and smiled cheerfully. "Hello yourself! I'm making ramlettes!" he turned back to the stove, his skirt fluttering as he moved.

"Um...alright...Ford...is still sleeping…" Stan coughed and looked down. He knew some people liked to dress up...but he had never seen one...Awkward!

"Let him sleep in. Poor guy looks like he needs it." Bill flipped the egg mix over to cook the other side. He waved a hand to get some cups set on the table and some Snazzleberry juice poured out as well. It was called a berry but was really more of a citrus flavor. With undertones of pumpkin spice.

"So did you sleep well?" Bill asked as he bent over to grab something from the lower cabinet. Where was the large serving dish? He thought he'd put it away here...

"Um...Fine, fine! Um, it was weird not hearing Carla snore though." He joked to feel less awkward around the demon. He had to be messing around on purpose, for sure!

"Well once Ford wakes up we're gonna discuss living situation. I'm not sure if you've noticed but there are a lot of monsters here." Bill rummaged around and found the plate he needed. Never really had guests over so he didn't think he'd get to use this. Hence why he'd put it underneath. Some people might say it was a waste to furnish this cabin but...he filmed all of Jan's livestremes here and filming in an empty house would have been suspicious.

"Mons...ters?" Stan looked around nervously. He hadn't seen any monsters so far.

"Not in my cabin-"

The man with long hair was about to sigh in relief...

"-I meant outside." Bill waved his hand to make the walls transparent, revealing the forms of at least three nightmares circling the building, snarling and frothing in hunger.

...he tensed up in fear at the sight of them.

"Don't worry though, they can't get in here. Also, if they get hungry enough they start eating each other." Bill placed the large serving dish on the kitchen counter. "Why do you think I got rid of any doors that lead outside? I wouldn't put it past you guys to think you could leave and then get torn to shreds." he made the walls opaque again to hide the outside world.

"Right...Thanks for keeping us alive I guess…" Stan rubbed the back of his head.

"Do you need help or something?" As soon as he said that though, he heard his brother screaming his name.

"STaN!! Where are-Argh my head! Where are you!?"

Bill rolled his eye. "You should go take care of that. I'll have the food ready by the time you're done."

Stan saluted the demon and went to look for Ford. He found him close to their temporary bedroom, trembling and worried for his safety.

"Stanley! Oh, thank goodness you are safe!" Ford cried and hugged him. He couldn't lose Stanley, he didn't want to. They needed to stick together!

"Whoa Poindexter! I'm fine. See?" Stan hugged him back. How long has it been since he's hugged his brothers? He missed them all so much. Geez, he never even got to hug Seb...

"Where were you?" Ford asked softly, resting his head on his brother's shoulder. Stan pat his back soothingly.

"Oh I was with Bill." He waved a dismissing hand. "He's making breakfast with alien food!"

"Ah…" Ford made a face. Why was Stanley taking this so well?! They were in space ! In another dimension ! With a DEMON !

"Food's done! Get it while it's molecular makeup is vibrating at a high frequency!" Bill called out.

"Molecular...what?" Stan tilted his head and Ford rolled his eyes.

"Hot, Stanley. It means while it is hot."

"See? Someone gets it!" Bill's laughter echoed down the hallway. "But seriously, if you don't get in here I'm gonna eat it all myself."

Stan moved but Ford grabbed him by the wrist. "You seriously aren't thinking of eating, right?" He was speaking softly. Any louder and his head would hurt more than what it already did.

"Listen, Ford. I know you don't like this, I don't like it either, it is a demon after all. But what other option do we have? We can't get outside, if we did, monsters would have us as snacks and trust me, I want to be in one piece when I get back to my girlfriend. So can you PLEASE behave around the drag demon while we are here to get help to survive SPACE?!" The man raised his voice a tiny bit more.

"You know I'm technically an alien? Demon is a title and alignment given when you've got a certain skill set and behavioral quirks." Bill calls out. There are scraping sounds of chairs being pushed around.

"Alien." Stan corrected himself while looking at his brother. "So, can we have breakfast?" Stan was going to be the rational and coherent half of their team. Ford would make really dumb decisions if it wasn't for his younger brother.

Ford nodded mutely and followed his brother to the kitchen. Ford stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide when he saw Bill in that strange shapeshifted humanoid form of his wearing a…

"Why are you dressed like a maid?!" Ford covered his face with a strangled cry.

Stan coughed and looked down.

Bill blinked slowly. "What's wrong with it?" He peered down at himself, fluffing his skirt as he did so. "Does it not look good? You're gonna give me body image issues you know?"

"No, no!" Stan shook his hands. "It's fine! You look fine!" He said nervously.

"You're a male, I thought you were one…" Ford rubbed the back of his head.

"Well...I don't know about YOUR Bill but I happen to be a hermaphrodite!" Bill tugged at his skirt self consciously. "But I guess I'm not...really pretty enough to pull this off huh?" His William form was just too scrawny...Xin's form had the nice curves and Jan's form was gorgeous...but they were also fully male...

"That's...fascinating" Ford mumbled. He had read about it in college but never had time to actually investigate the cases himself. "You are both at the same time!" he says with a glint in his eye screaming 'Must do Research!'.

Stan punched him, making him stagger back. "Can you shut up? Nerd." Stan rolled his eyes.

"I think the skirt looks gorgeous on you, kid. And that color suits you." Stan, unlike his antisocial brother, had experience talking to women, and how to flatter them. If this Bill was also (half?) one it should work too right?

Bill blushed adorably. His, or rather, HER large eye fluttered its long lashes. "R-really?" She got complimented for Jan and Xin's bodies all the time but it wasn't often that someone who wasn't one of her friends told her she was pretty.

"Um, sure!" Stan smiled charmingly. "Like I always tell Carla, if you like it then it is perfect and if people says something, just tell them to fuck off."

"You hated my clothes as a teen." Ford muttered petulantly.

"You looked like a disco, Ford. That's different."

Bill pressed her long fingers to her cheeks "Aw~you're so sweet~" she bowed demurely like a proper maid "Well breakfast is ready sirs~"

The Pines sat down and Stan grinned at his upset brother.

"You see? Good things happen when you are nice." Stan said and a really tired and angry Ford made a face and stuffed his mouth with the food.

Bill sat down as well to eat, pointing out what the dishes were. "I spent a few million years just trying to find alien foods that had evolved to be somewhat similar to Earth plants and animals." She pointed at some of the side dishes "The first chance I got, I made corned beef hash. It's pretty cool how alien potatoes resemble earth potatoes. They even have the same name."

Bill reminisced fondly. "There was a planet populated by a hive mind of potato people. They killed and sacrificed anyone who landed on that planet. So I kinda...slaughtered them all. The planet is now a safe world for tourists and farmers."

"Potato people?" Ford muttered.

"Sacrifice?" Stan smiled. He couldn't imagine potatoes attacking people. It was hilarious!

Bill nodded. "I probably wouldn't have killed them all if I hadn't found out they were devouring Souls down there." She growled. "I can't stand anyone who harms a Soul." They were made by the AXOLOTL and should be treated with care.

"Right…" Ford wiped his mouth with his sleeve and sighed. "So...Other Bill…"

"You may call me William while I am in this form."

"William." Ford forced a smiled. "My world is going to be in danger if Bill gets through the portal. You are him, what kills you?"

"Ford, what the fuck?!"

"My zodiac circle." Bill responded easily. "Or if you can get a hold of one, a quantum destabilizer. Though that doesn't actually kill me, just scatters my molecular and mental wavelengths so badly that it would take a few centuries to reform myself." she didn't mind telling Ford, it's not like he wouldn't find out by himself eventually anyway.

"The eleven symbols?" Ford hummed as Stan stared, not understanding. He'd never find them. He only knew Stan and him were part of it...for some reason. A quantum destabilizer though… "Works for me." The scientist nodded. "We need one. How do we get one or build it?" He looked into his coat to write everything down and paled when he couldn't feel his journal. Right...Sebastian, Bill, whatever, that monster had it now...

"Well the parts needed to build that thing are incredibly illegal." It was a gun that could destroy GODS after all. The Federation had all knowledge on the mechanics of such a weapon on lock down. If anyone ever shot Time Baby with something like that? Chaos and anarchy. Heck, one of the Jobs she'd gotten from Time Baby was to kill the man who invented the blueprints for the thing.

Funny how Time Baby didn't realize that sending Bill after him ensured that Bill now knew EXACTLY how to build the weapon. She was a master of the mind. She consumed the Minds of her victims. That includes all their knowledge. Besides, just 'cause he took out ONE scientist that figured it out didn't mean other scientists wouldn't eventually stumble upon the same or similar ideas.

"Oh ho ho! I like it!" Stanley smiled. He did illegal stuff as a teen. He became boring when he grew up. It would be fun looking for those things!

Ford, on the other hand, hummed nervously. "If that is what it takes…" He mumbled.

Bill peered at the two men. "Well...if I give you the blueprints, you'll have to find the parts and build it yourself…" she tilted her head to examine them "But you'll need to promise me something first."

""What?"" The triplets asked at the same time.

"Don't shoot Sebastian."

"But he-" Ford trailed off. Wasn't he Bill?! Killing him would be the easiest way to get rid of Bill!

Stanford didn't want to kill his brother, but it was for the greater good.

"Absolutely not, Stanford!" Stan shouted at his triplet. Sebas was their baby brother, for heaven's sake! And this madman wanted to kill him?!?!

Bill groaned and leaned her face against her hand. "Why would you shoot your own brother Stanford? Kindly explain that to me?" If her hair and skin flickered red for an instant she didn't notice.

"He lied to us! He! HE is BILL! His eye, that horrible yellow eye he has! That's his ! And-And he pushed us through the portal to take my Journal!" The man with glasses cried.

"If you hurt Sebastian, I'll kill you myself." Stan growled at his older brother.

Bill gave him an unimpressed look. "Yeah, 'cause Sebastian OBVIOUSLY chose to be Bill's destined vessel, not like it was something he couldn't control or had a chance to refuse right?" She said sarcastically. She felt a little bad for peering into Seb's personal life while in his Mindscape, she didn't MEAN to. But she saw a few things that she was sure even Seb didn't know about.

"Exactly." Ford said, not getting or not caring about the sarcasm.

Bill and Stan rolled their eyes so much they turned almost white. Bill gave Stan a sympathetic look "I don't know how you put up with him. No matter HOW cute he is."

"Eh. He's a dumb genius. You get used to it...Did you just say cute?"

Bill blushed and looked away quickly. "You obviously heard wrong."

"Al...right…" Stan coughed. "Ok, we would never hurt Sebas with that weapon, RIGHT, Sixer?!"

Ford huffed in response. They would see when the time came "But we still need it to confront Bill."

Bill nodded. "I should probably also make you promise not to shoot anyone else that Bill just so happens to be possessing. That is called 'Murder' and while I've killed my fair share of people, I find the idea of killing an innocent person that Bill is controlling to be in bad taste."

"Yeah, yeah, not using it on humans." Ford waved a six-fingered hand dismissively.

"That INCLUDES Sebastian." Bill said firmly.

He's not human, but ok. Ford shrugged. "Yeah, sure, sure."

"He is both human and genetically identical to you." Bill heard Ford's thoughts clearly. It's his fault for thinking so loudly.

Ford pouted and covered his forehead. "Get out!" He ordered. He didn't need more Bills in his mind messing with him."

"You're the one projecting your thoughts at me. I'm not even trying to get in." Bill scoffed.

"But you are reading them! Don't!" Ford shot back.

"Can you stop acting like a brat, Stanford?" Stanley was getting tired of this. He looked at William. "I wouldn't let Sebas get hurt…Why do you care so much about him anyway? Does it have to do with the fact he was a demon too or something?"

"All Bills are connected and want to destroy our worlds!" Ford cried.

Bill pressed her lips together. "Well, I may as well clear up a misconception. None of the Bills, me included, have any desire to destroy the 3rd dimension." She leaned back in her chair "Most of us actually want to make your world better. More fun. Unbound and unshackled by the unfair laws of the universe. The problem is that we're all utterly insane and generally we don't realize that our idea of fun is your idea of utter destruction."

"You see? The dorito alien just wants to have fun, Ford." Stan grinned teasingly and his triplet growled.

"Yeah, by creating chaos and destroying stuff, Stanley!"

"Chaos is so delightful~" Bill sighed."But I am different from most of my counterparts because I can emphasize. I can see things from another's perspective, if I remember to at least, and realize that while I might think making people melt into a pile of screaming limbs is funny, the people who are going through that experience find it less so." more than once she actually had Teeth talk her down from a 'fun' idea she had.

"Well, nice to know the portal will never open from our world...Sebastian isn't getting us back." Ford folded his arms.

"He is!" Stan argued.

"Please! He didn't even finish high school, Stanley! And you think he'll know how to fix a project like this?!"

"And who's fault was it that he didn't finish high school I wonder…" Bill muttered.

"His." Ford hissed. "He was selfish and brought it upon himself."

"Shut up! You know it was an accident! He told you it was!" Stan cried. He wasn't ready to argue about this. It hurt him to remember that day.

"From what I Saw...Sebastian was trying to destroy his OWN science fair project but when he threw it in a blind rage it accidentally hit yours…" Bill pointed out.

"He has always been jealous of me! He wouldn't have been there if he wasn't throwing a tantrum! A tantrum that cost me the best school in the entire country!"

"Ford, you studied, you were fine! Just drop it!" Stan pleaded.

"Have you never wondered why? You DO realize that in ALL the weeks leading up to the science fair, when Sebastian SPECIFICALLY told your teachers what his project would be about, they NEVER ONCE told him that he couldn't use fire up until the DAY OF so that he had NO WAY of changing his project to fit regulation? Those teachers ALLOWED him to WASTE entire WEEKS of work just to tell him that his project was a FAILURE without even letting him show it to them." Bill was getting angry now.

"You don't know that…" Ford protested.

"I saw his memories. By accident sure, but I saw them. Your teachers absolutely did EVERYTHING in their power to PURPOSELY make him FAIL." Bill twitched. "And you wonder why he was so angry?"

"He was angry because he is stupid! He made a STUPID AND DUMB project! No one told him to do that!" Ford's voice started picking up volume.

"WELL IF THE PROJECT WAS STUPID THEN IT IS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY AS TEACHERS TO TELL HIM THAT BEFORE THE DAY IT WAS DUE!"

Ford stood up angrily and left, stomping to the room he woke up in. Stupid Bill! Stupid Sebastian! Stupid! Stupid! Everything was his fault! HIS!

Stan was breathing heavily, trying to hold his unmanly tears back. He covered his face with his hands. When did Ford stop loving Sebas? They were a team! What happened? Why couldn't he keep them together...

Bill was panting in anger, his (yes, HIS, he was too angry to be female right now, he generally reserved his female side for the more peaceful moments, also because if he was female AND angry things always got much worse) skin a deep dark red hue. Of all the stupid-what the ACTUAL fuck was wrong with that man?! It's been YEARS and he was still letting his PRIDE overtake his REASON?

Bill made a mental note that when he met HIS Ford, he was nipping that in the bud. He will absolutely make sure HIS Ford and Stan make up before 30 years.

"Ford ...Ford isn't like that…" Stan felt he needed to defend his triplet. "He is usually nicer...He-He would never say things like that to Seb on purpose...His sciencey project always hits a nerve on him…"

Bill closed his eye and hissed his breaths through his clenched teeth. "I'm going...to give him the benefit of the doubt...and assume that YOUR Bill fucked his head over, made all his insecurities worse or something, and made Ford's feelings of anger worse just so he could manipulate him better."

"It's definitely that…" Stan nodded. Ford was a nice person. He really didn't think about Sebas like that...Not about their own triplet.

"I-I would avoid talking to Ford about it...wouldn't want him to think more horrible things about Sebas and getting ideas…" Stan suggested.

Bill slowly faded back into a cheerful yellow. "Right. Well. I'm going to be trusting YOU with the blueprints for the Quantum Destabilizer." at least he was sure Stan wouldn't go off shooting anyone with a hint of yellow in their eyes.

"Cool! I'll be boss." Stan grinned smugly. "Not that I already ain't though…" He shrugged.

"So! Are we going to stay in here for the time being or we are going somewhere else? Thinking there are creatures wanting to eat me like a steak creeps me out."

"Right." Bill clapped his hands. "I was gonna move you two to into the Death Star...which despite its name is NOT a spaceship capable of planetary destruction, its my main house, where my friends live."

Stan closed his mouth. It would have been awesome! He saw the movies at the cinema with his brothers as kids!

Bill started cleaning up the dishes. Hm. Ford didn't finish his food. It would be a waste...he picked up the plate and put it into his blender. After a few seconds he shook the container to see how mashed up it was and then teleported the mess straight into Ford's stomach. He needed some food in him after all.

Down the hallway in the bedroom, Ford cried out in surprise as his stomach suddenly swelled up.

Stan didn't know what the alien with the Death Star did, so he just sighed and helped him clean up like a good person.

"In your 'main house'-" Would have been better if it really was the spaceship, Stan thought. "-You live with more triangles like you?"

"Oh it IS a spaceship. It's just not a doomsday device as well. And...I'm the last of my kind so there aren't any triangles like me…" Bill quieted a little.

"Oh...I'm sorry, kid…" Stan said softly.

Bill shrugged. "Most Bills destroyed their homeworld on purpose. That's what Seb told me at any rate. Me, I did it by accident."

Stan had lots of questions about ... this, but it wasn't the time. When the place was cleaned, he looked at Bill. "Do I need to go get Ford to leave?"

"Yeah, probably best that you go get him." Bill smoothed down his dress. "Actually, you should go get him now, I think he's trying to punch out his own stomach…"

"What?! Why…?"

Bill shrugged. "He didn't eat his breakfast so I teleported the food inside him. Apparently he didn't appreciate my thoughtfulness."

Stan forced a smile, deciding not to try explaining to the alien how they shouldn't just do that without warning, and ran to to meet with his brother. He was moaning on the bed, rolling around as he punched his stomach, like Bill saId.

"Stanley! Stanley, help! Something got inside me!" The scared man hugged his belly.

"Um, yeah, it's called food, nice huh?" Stan rolled his eyes with a smirk. "Bill put your food in your stomach. I'm not surprised you don't recognize what eating and actually having food in you feels like."

Ford made a horrified whimper. "He can just...put stuff inside me without me knowing?!" He whimpered again. "He put poison, Stan...Stan he put something more...He put a bomb, Stanley...I-I am going to die…" Ford muttered, paranoid with tears in his eyes. He was upset about the discussion about Sebastian and knowing something unknown was put in him was slowly making him break.

"Is he ok?" Bill called out. "I know it probably feels a little weird but it's perfectly safe. I've done this with my kids when they refuse to eat medicine or their vegetables." he didn't understand how this was a problem, it didn't hurt them so it's not a big deal right?

"He thinks you put a bomb in him?" Stan was torn between laughing and crying at the situation. Who knew his genius brother would end up like this?

"Knock him out then. Or wait a few seconds, I think his hyperventilating is gonna make him pass out from lack of oxygen soon."

"Gosh, what have I gotten myself into?" Stan muttered and ran a hand through his long curly hair. As Bill predicted, Ford passed out and stayed still, curled up in fetal position.

"I...think he is unconscious...do I bring him to the kitchen?"

"Yeah. Do you have all your belongings?"

Stan looked around the room. There. His red jacket and Ford's coat. They...weren't given much option to pack for this trip…

He put on his jacket and grabbed his brother's coat before picking him up. He was heavy dead weight, but nothing the great Stanley Pines couldn't take.

Bill saw the two come back into the kitchen. "Alright. Before we go, and since Ford's out of it, I'm just gonna give you the blueprints…" Bill walked over and stood up on his tiptoes to place a large hand on the side of Stan's head. "Brace yourself…"

"What do you-" Stan started to ask before he cried out in surprise as images and numbers suddenly filled his head. He groaned at the mild headache but the pain was vanishing as quickly as it came. He swayed a little. "That…"

He...he understood. He had the information right in his head. Calculations. The size and shape of all the parts needed to build the weapon. He...understood how all the prices for together, why they fit together that way...how it worked!

He shook his head. "What? How?"

"Sorry, but I couldn't give you a physical blueprint. Can't risk this knowledge falling into the wrong hands now can I?" Bill smiled cheerfully. "Also, this way Ford won't be able to take charge with the gun. He will need to rely on you." Bill kept quiet about how he also encrypted the knowledge so that only Stan himself would be able to understand it. Other psychic creatures trying to read his mind wouldn't be able to make hide nor hair of what that knowledge was.

Stan blinked. "Ah...that's pretty sweet. So I'm the brainiac now huh?" he laughed.

"Only about this particular thing. Anything else sciency you'll need to learn on your own." Bill shrugged before gently gripping Stan's arm. "Hold still now…"

He Blinked them to the Death Star.

---

Stan almost dropped his brother when his feet touched the ground again. He took a mouthful of air. It wasn't fun. This didn't feel nice at all…

"Yeah, most people don't like the feeling of dimensional teleportation." Bill patted his back. They were in the penthouse, Bill's personal bedroom. A large fluffy triangular bed was positioned in the center of the room and the shelves were filled with various art supplies and anime figurines. A large grand piano sat in a corner and there was even a cosy looking fireplace.

"This is your room? It doesn't look like...I expected." Stan shrugged and put Ford, who was starting to feel heavy, on the funny triangular bed.

Bill shrugged, still in his maid outfit. "Well while we let your brother get some more much needed rest, wanna meet the rest of my friends/adopted family?"

"HELL YES!" Stan cried before covering his mouth when he remembered Ford. Right. Letting him cool off while sleeping. "Hell yes…" He repeated as a whisper this time.

Bill grinned. "You wanna meet aliens?"

"Oh, I totally wanna meet aliens…" Stan nodded. This was too exciting! If Ford wasn't so stubborn, he knew he would be enjoying this even more than him.

Bill laughed cheerfully and took Stan's hand, leading him to the door and down some stairs. "Careful you don't let go, people get lost in here all the time." He found a few guests from previous parties wandering around the halls long after everyone had gone home multiple times.

Speaking of which, he needed to check on the prisoners he'd locked in one of the many secret rooms, Bill also hoped everyone had finished cleaning the aftermath of the party yesterday. Oh geez, the twins were 60 years old now...how time flies…

Bill suddenly remembered the reason he had gone to meditate in the Nightmare Realm, he was trying to distract himself from worrying about his babies growing up. The two teenagers were...more distant than they had been as children. Pynelope especially would spend most of her time on her Com or in her room.

He DID have a nice talk with Pyrone the night before but Bill still felt a little sad that they were growing up and...not needing him as much as they used to.

Meanwhile, Stan looked at everything in awe. The dark stone (metal?) walls, the intricate lines that looked almost like those circuit board things he can now picture in his mind from the blueprints...he was in an alien house called the Death star!! How cool was that? He saw the many, many hallways and how some of them would close with a new one opening somewhere else. Yeesh! Getting lost here would be awful.

"Well...looks like they managed to clean the food off the ground. That's good…" Bill muttered as they came to the main living room. There was Ax's fish tank in the corner and the many sofas surrounding the giant flat screen tv. The teleporter was in the far side of the room next to the huge triangular shaped front door that opened out into the vastness of space. It was always open, the door more of a large window than anything else.

It appears their orbit was bringing them closer to a few galaxy clusters, Bill could see them swirling in the distance, hundreds of stars lighting up what would otherwise have been a black void. It was always breathtaking to watch.

"Damn, your house is awesome." Stan whistled. And he thought having a Jacuzzi was nice! He was in awe at this place, but-

"And where are your friends?"

Bill looked around. "Looks like they're making their own breakfast in the kitchen. Kinda late but I guess everyone stayed up pretty late cleaning up after the birthday party yesterday…" Bill heads for another hallway, which Stan swears wasn't there before and they quickly made their way to what must have been the kitchen.

Stan could hear the cheerful sounds of conversation. He couldn't help but be reminded of happier times eating breakfast with his family. He couldn't understand the language the voices were speaking in though.

"Sdvv wkh vrglxp sohdvh?" A rough gravelly voice asked.

Bill threw open the door and said cheerfully "Behold! A human!" with a wide grin as he pulled Stan in behind him. "Also, wkhuh duh hawud sdfnhwv lq wkh wrs fdelqhw. Don't be lazy 8-Ball! I know you can reach it."

Stan gaped with his brown eyes wide as plates at the creatures staring at him. "Holy Shit... HOLY SHIT THEY ARE REAL ALIENS!!!" Stan started laughing.

A large (and shapely, Stan couldn't help but notice) Cyclops-like woman who appeared to be on fire peered down at him. Stan had to crane his head up to look at her. "Zkr lv wklv? Glg brx ilqg d qhz iulhqg?" She asked.

"Wklv lv Stanley Pines." Bill introduced.

"Yeah, what he said!" Stan smiled widely. Aliens were real! He was talking to real aliens!!!

He looked at the small...what was that? Was that a keyhole with eyes?! And started laughing. "Awesome…"

Two cyclops-like aliens who looked like the huge woman but smaller, children perhaps, suddenly were up in his face. The female one was peering at him suspiciously while the one who seemed male was chattering excitedly.

"Zkdw lv kh? Lv kh d kh? Kh orrnv olnh wkrvh kxpdq wklqjv brx vkrzhg xv lq wkrvh prylhv! Lv wklv d kxpdq? L wkrxjkw brx vdlg kxpdqv glgq'w halw bhw?!"

"I'm Stan!" The young man crouched in front of the scared keyhole and extended his hand. "Can I put my hand through that hole?! Is that an important part of your body?! Would I die?!"

Unknown to Stan, Keyhole was begging Bill for help.

"Bill! He keeps staring at me~" Keyhole whimpered. Bill laughed. "He's just excited to meet you. He and his brother are going to be staying here for a little while before moving on."

Stan smiled at the kids. "Fuck is that real fire?!" He gasped but the female one continued frowning at him.

"Mom, what is this?" Pynelope grimaced. "He keeps staring at us."

Pyrone elbowed his sister. "This is a human right? It looks just like one." unlike his suspicious sister, Pyrone was thrilled to meet one of those creatures Bill always talked about.

Stan's smile decreased a bit when he realized everyone was grimacing aside from the ice cyclops. "Why are they looking at me like that…? They...can't understand me, can they?" He looked at Keyhole. "You can't understand me?"

"Ah, well humans don't exist yet. But I've shown them movies about you guys...oh right! The language thing...hang on…" Bill tilted his head and Stan felt...something change.

"Alright, testing~can you hear me now? Good." Bill says. He doesn't notice Kryptos coming into the room and flushing at the sight of him in the dress.

"Why is this human here? I thought humans don't exist yet?" Hectorgon pointed out.

"We humans are the best." Stan puffed his chest proudly, defending his race.

"Oh, this guy and his brother fell through an interdimensional portal." Bill explained. "I don't think they have the supplies needed to survive on their own so they're gonna be staying here until the instability of their existence here opens another portal and they leave."

"They look weird." Pynelope raised an eyebrow. "Like, they look so lame. They don't even have horns."

"Don't be rude Thermal pack. Keyhole doesn't have horns either." Bill chided her. He really needed to have a proper talk with her.

Pynelope rolls her eye "Well Uncle Keyhole's not a demon."

"I also don't have horns and I'm a demon." Bill pointed out. "Besides, most humans aren't demons either."

"Whatever." Pynelope grabbed her plate of food and walks off. "I'm going back to my room. I've got homework to do."

Bill shakes his head. He REALLY needed to talk to her.

"Geesh! Teens, huh?" Stan looked at Pyronica. "I have a younger brother. He is a pain."

Pyronica laughs. "Kids will be kids~" she hugs Pyrone to her side, he came up to her waist now. "At least my little man here still hangs out with us sometimes. Little mama's boy that he is."

"Moooom~" Pyrone whined, shoving her off and retreating from the room quickly.

"Aaw~" Stan smiled. "Kids…" Even though Shermie hated him he loved him a lot.

Kryptos floated over and tried hard not to stare at Bill too obviously. "So...why are you helping these humans?" He said with a hard look at Stan, sizing him up. "They're not Friends and you normally don't help out people for nothing."

"Oh don't worry, we've got a proper Deal going." Bill assured him.

Stan rubbed his head sheepishly. "Yeah, something about head pats-" Bill quickly grabbed his mouth.

"I mean...something NOT about head pats...And-and baby heads." Bill said quickly while moving Stan's mouth with an awful impression of Stan's voice. Stan nodded, a little bemused.

Bill's squad looked at the human suspiciously. Kryptos in particular was staring at Stan with his fingers twitching. Head pats?

Bill laughed nervously. "Not important. I'm just here to do introductions. Well…" he turned to Stan. "You met the twins, Pyrone and Pynelope. This is their mother Pyronica…"

"Twins...Huh." Stan smiled. "I am a triplet...Nice to meet you!"

"There's two more of you?" Kryptos asked, a little faint at the idea. What WAS it with Bill and humans?

Pyronica purred as she gave Stan's body a slow gaze up and down. "Are your brothers as cute as you?"

"Well, sciencey, we look the same, but I like to consider myself like the cutest one." Stan grinned at the woman.

Pyronica giggled and leaned in close. "Oh you are adorable~I'd love to eat you up~"

The young human's eyes widened up with a pleased smile. "Woah, that was fast, but I'd love-"

Bill smacked him at the back of his head. "You have a wife-to-be! You are getting MARRIED! Hello?!" He slapped him in the forehead to knock some sense into him.

And now Keyhole had joined Kryptos in glaring at Stan.

Stan blushed. "But...giant woman…"

"You know she actually means eating you, right?" Keyhole crossed his arms. "Not in the sense you are thinking...EAT as in EATING!"

"What?" Any excitement Stan could have, vanished from his body.

Bill rolled his eye. "Hasn't stopped you from trying to get with her…"

Keyhole blushed heavily. Everyone else coughed awkwardly and looked away. Bill quickly changed the subject. "So! This is Keyhole, that's Hectorgon, 8-Ball, Kryptos, Xanthar...where are the others?" Bill looked around.

"Teeth is still asleep, PaciFire is at work and I have absolutely no idea where Ammy is." Hectorgon sipped his drink. Bill sighs. "Ammy needs to stop leaving his blocks on random planets...he probably fell through one of them again…"

"What's an Ammy?" Stan asked and after examining the food, he put it in his mouth. This tasted like normal food.

"My son." Bill answered as his large eye began flickering to track down the Amorphous Shape.

Stan spat-takes pretty impressively. 8-Ball claps and cheers "You got some distance!"

"You have a son?!" Stan cried.

Bill blinked his eye to stop searching. Found Ammy wandering around Jessie's temple so at least he was safe. "Yeah? What about it? You didn't seem to care when I mentioned my kids before?"

Stan looked at the tiny alien glaring at him and coughed, his cheeks going red. "I...Nothing...I-I didn't think you meant like...YOUR children…" Stan mumbled. And now he was thinking about the dorito having a kid and that was a weird image.

Bill shrugged. "He was kinda an accident...but I love him all the same."

Stan smiled. "Huh...After...getting married, Carla and I talked about having a kid...We are awful but we actually wanted one...Guess I'll never have the chance now…"

Bill stiffened. "Y-yeah...um…that's...um...unfortunate…" he laughed nervously.

Everyone in the room was staring at Bill with an unimpressed look. Kryptos facepalmed "How you ever managed to be known as a demon of lies I will never know…" he muttered.

Stan looked at Bill with narrowed eyes. "What is going on?"

Bill laughed loudly. "Nothing important! It's not like you've got a kid and Seb had been dying of guilt for the past 13th years trying to fix the portal so he can reunite that kid with the father he's never met or anything- godDAMN FUCK! Why don't I have a GODDAMNED FILTER!!!" Bill screeched as he pulled at his ears.

The henchmaniacs all groaned. "You really need to work on that." Hectorgon sighed.

Stan frowned but shook his head. No need to dwell on that...not right now anyway.

Bill whined as he pulled on his ears. "Seriously why can't I just shut up about stuff when it's important?" He could bullshit about all sorts of stuff but things like this...

"Welp." Stan announced. "I have been working nonstop for weeks at Stanco. Do you know what a TV is? More importantly, do you have one?"

8-Ball grinned. "Yeah! We got a really nice TV. With all the channels! And if we don't have a channel Bill can GET it just by staring at the screen." He got up and lumbered to the doorway. "Come on tiny dude, I can show you my favorite shows!"

"Alright, green guy!" Stan followed him with a grin. "You remind me of a guy from my football team…Cool eyes by the way."

Bill sighed. "Well, that's one problem distracted...I'm gonna go prepare an actual room for them."

"Wait, then where's the other human?" Kryptos asked. "Or two? Weren't there three of them?"

"In my room." Bill responded absently, not seeing the look on Kryptos's face. The compass went pale. "I've never been in your room…" he whispered quietly to himself.

"And no. Just two of them. But the third brother is really nice!" Bill smiled happily at the thought of Sebastian. Oh~how he wanted to see him again. They had so much fun together.

"Ah…" Kryptos nodded plainly. "I'm going to my room." he floats off sulking.

Bill made a confused face before shrugging and heading back upstairs to check on Ford.

---

Meanwhile with Stan-

"Those babies actually fight for real?!" Stan laughed.

8-Ball guffawed with his mouth wide, tusks moving as he went. "Yeah. They're not real babies, PaciFire is an adult. But like...the children of their species look exactly the same, just smaller."

One of the "babies" pulled his opponent's arm off and Stan gasped when the blood splashed everywhere.

8-Ball cheered. "Beat him with it!" The demon-imp proceeded to do so. The downed demon snarled, grew a new arm and bitch slapped his opponent off him. "You will PAY for this insult Goo Goo!" He leaped off the ring floor and bit down on his opponent's shoulder.

"This show is really extreme...but I can't stop watching it…"

8-Ball grinned when Goo Goo was flung out of the ring. "Oh! You're gonna see PaciFire now!" He cheered. This was a rerun and he's seen this episode before. As he said there was a vicious roar and PaciFire slams down into the ring. "I have butchered millions on countless moons!" the imp pulled the pacifier from his stomach mouth and a swarm of eye bats fly out.

"That is so fucking cool!" Stan smiled. "Sebas would love this show! He likes blood and creepy stuff!" He informed the large green alien.

8-Ball grins. "This Sebas dude sounds like he would fit right in here."

Stan hummed. No. Seb wouldn't fit with monsters. He wouldn't. He had spent all his life telling Sebas he was normal, he wouldn't go back on that now.

Stan quieted a little. He still didn't understand what was up with Seb and Bill or whatever but...Stan clenched his fist. He would protect Seb no matter what.

"I am not sure humans would fit with you guys." Stan smiled at the end. Because his brother was his triplet , and a human. Whether he used to be Bill Code? Cipher?, or not.

8-Ball shrugs easily. "Well you're the first human I've met so...it's not like I know." it didn't matter to him one way or another. Humans were just one of many, many species of creatures in the multiverse.

As Stan and 8-Ball watched TV, Bill floated down the hallway to look for Fordsie. He received an alert from one of the many triangles around the house that Ford had woken up and was panicking again, screaming for Stanley.

Stanford was in full panic mode. He was trapped, Bill trapped him! His brother was nowhere to be seen and he was alone! Ford had been alone for years, he wanted, he needed his brother once more, especially now in this fucked up situation he created. He felt...safer if they were together…

Bill came in quietly, staying in his William form to keep Ford from freaking out from seeing a triangle. "Yo~are you ok?" he hoped Ford calmed down soon, all this fear wasn't good for his heart.

"Where's Stanley?" Ford asked quickly.

"He's downstairs watching tv. Do you wanna go down and hang out too?"

"Hang...out?" Suddenly staying here alone sounded more appealing...

Bill walks over to the bed (his bed sure, but he never actually slept up here, too lonely) swishing his skirt back and forth "Come on, it's gotta be better than cooping yourself up in here for the whole day."

Stanford sighed. What other choice did he have? "I guess I don't have another option…" Ford played with the hem of his dirty, wrinkled shirt.

Bill thought about how to help Ford feel better. "Do you want a bath? You look like you really need it. I can clean your clothes and stuff."

"Um…" Ford rubbed his eyes. Where were his glasses? "Ok…?" He didn't want to take a bath here though. He had been scared Bill would spy on him and kill him while showering. Showering in (one) Bill Cipher's home?!

Bill picked up Ford's glasses from the side table and slid them onto the man's face. "Better?" he grins at the mildly perturbed expression on Ford's face. So cute~

"Yeah." Ford grimaced, trying to smile. "I like not being blind."

Bill laughed. "Same~I used to need glasses back when I was mortal. Nearly blind actually." If there was one thing he was happy about with being reborn into this life, it was that he could SEE. In more ways than one.

Stanford snorted and covered his mouth. "Seriously? And how was it?" He took off his glasses and covered one of the lenses. "Was it like this?" He joked. He was feeling much better after getting so much sleep.

Bill flicked his fingers and a goggle-like object appeared on his face. He didn't actually need glasses as a triangle but...back when he was human? Yeah. His, or rather, her, eyes were so bad. And she was nearly blind in one eye, couldn't even see the big E at the top of the charts. They even made her wear an eye patch for a while because they thought her deteriorating eyesight was due to some kinda lazy eye thing. She hated how itchy it was. Since her eyes were so mismatched she couldn't even get the proper prescription because it would have meant she would be constantly dizzy. So rather than correcting her vision, her glasses merely made things a little easier to see.

"For a species with just one eye, wouldn't been visually impaired be a really terrible disadvantage?" Pines always need glasses, especially the boys. His tri-...Sebastian was the only male Pines who didn't need them.

Bill sighed and vanished the goggles. "Well my eyesight wasn't the medical problem that caused me trouble throughout my childhood."

"Uh...I can relate." The man touched his right sixth finger.

Bill looked at Ford's hands too. He reached out his own. "Um..can I…?" He asked.

Ford stuttered, and after thinking about it a little bit, he agreed and offered him his right hand. Bill carefully held Ford's hand and traced his fingers. He marveled at it. He actually hadn't seen many species with specifically 6 fingers. They usually came in 3s, 4s or 5s. He pressed his own palm against Ford's and hummed at the size difference between his thin 4 fingered hand and Ford's wide 6 fingered one. "It's really cool. You must have a lot more dexterity with these."

It was something Bill still had trouble with. Origami with just 4 fingers took some getting used to. You wouldn't think one finger made a difference but it did.

Ford blushed and almost tried to take his hand back. But Bill's fingers were surprisingly soft and incredibly warm. It was only now that Ford noticed how cold this room was. "Do you...have the air conditioning on?" He asked awkwardly just to fill the silence.

Bill shrugged. "Something like it, I overheat constantly so I need colder temperatures to keep from igniting."

Ford was still blushing but couldn't help his curiosity perking up at that. "You mean you actually catch on fire?"

Bill shuddered. "I don't like it when I ignite against my will...it...feels uncomfortable…" he finally let go of Ford's hand "So...bath? I can promise you there are no triangles in the bathroom. My friends bathe in them and I respect their privacy."

Bill left out the part where he had marked each of his friends with a triangle tattoo on their bodies, but he still doesn't watch them in the bath, that's just rude.

"Ye-Yeah...Alright…" The young man nodded and stood up. If they were going to spend years in space, looking for the materials to build his weapon, he better start clean right?

Ford walked to the bathroom and before closing the door, he turned to look at the demon. "Um, William? ...Thanks." He smiled warmly and Bill gasped a bit. "Oh. You're welcome." well, looks like Ford really can be nice. It must have been the stress and sleep deprivation messing him up before.

Ford was tense as he slowly took off his clothes but when he actually got into the surprisingly warm water, he moaned happily. God, he had forgotten how nice taking a shower actually was...

Bill set to work materializing fresh clean clothes for Ford to change into when he was done. He then left to go see if Stan wanted a bath too. Also, needed to ask him for what kind of room he wanted.

Bill stopped in his tracks though when he saw Stan and and 8-Ball fighting. "Whoa! What's happening here?!"

"AAHH!! WA-Wait! My arm can't twist like in the-The-eAHH!" Stan ignored Bill in favor of pleading mercy from his rival.

Bill ran over and flicked his hands, getting 8-Ball off the human. "No. Bad 8-Ball! No twisting the human!"

8-Ball whined. "But…I wrestle with Paci and the twins all the time..." Bill scolded him "Humans are delicate! Like Ammy! He can't twist that far."

"I'm not delicate!" Stan cried offended. "I am the toughest guy on my football team, excuse you."

He was wrestling fine, it just got a bit out of control, but he could take it!

Bill put his hands on his hips, his skirt fluffing up with his ire. "If you get hurt, Ford is going to flip his shit."

Stan scoffed and crossed his arms. "Me and Sebas always got hurt as kids protecting that nerd. I don't see a difference."

"Yeah but if you get hurt while in my house, he's gonna blame ME for it." Bill whined. He didn't want to lose the trust he's been building with Ford, poor kid was so stressed and was finally calming down.

"Alright, alright." Stan mumbled petulantly and pouted.

"Oh! By the way! Want to take a bath?" Bill asked with a smile.

Stan grinned. "No! Never! I'll never bathe again and I'll be the king of dirtiness!" He grabbed 8-Ball by his hand and shouted. "RUN!!"

Bill gasped dramatically. "How dare you! Get back here you dirty little brats!" He chased them, shaking his fists and laughing.

Stan's laughter could be heard around the house. "Try to catch me, dorito!"

Bill huffed. The Pines triplets were just huge children, all of them…

He started chasing Stan and 8-Ball through the house and poor Pyrone ended up being caught up in the chase and ran along, pulling in Teeth (who was awoken by the noise) and Keyhole as well. It turned into a house wide game of tag, with Bill being It and throwing cleaning towels at them.

"Help! He's getting closer!" Stan cried.

8-Ball tripped and fell to the floor. "Go! Continue without me! Leave!"

Stan put on a determined face and lifted him, remembering a part of that movie about toys he saw with Carla years ago. "A good soldier never leaves a man behind!"

Bill laughed maniacally. He held a clean towel in one hand and a bar of soap in the other. "Your time has COME! There is no escape now~"

"Fuck we're trapped!" Pyrone gasped.

Keyhole whimpered "B-but I take baths regularly…" Teeth nods "I brush my teeth every day!"

Bill cackled as he stalked closer to them "Just give up. It'll hurt less~"

Pyrone and Keyhole hugged each other and screamed in fear. Teeth was hiding behind Stan and 8-Ball.

"I didn't want to do this, guys...But it is the only way." Stan stepped in front of his new friends. "Leave. I'll keep him distracted while you escape."

They gazed at the human with respect and awe. "B-but you will…" 8-Ball whimpered. Keyhole pulled 8-Ball to his feet "Come on! We can't let his sacrifice be in vain!"

They start to run toward a new doorway that appeared in a wall and Pyrone turns to give Stan a respectful nod. "It's been an honor knowing you human." They ran off down the hallway.

"What will you do to me, clean beast?!" Stan asked with disgust.

Bill raised his weapons with a truly insane grin stretching his face wide, his teeth needle sharp and glinting. "Oh I'm sure you have an idea…" He pulls the towel and it makes a fluffy noise.

Down the hallway the retreating group of aliens shuddered as they hear Stan's tortured scream echo from the doorway. 8-Ball places a hand over his chest where his blood pumping organ was. "We will never forget you…"

---

Ford sighed contently when he got out of the bathroom. What a pleasant experience...He looked at the clothes on the bed and hummed. Bill must have left them there. With the towel wrapped around his waist, he sat down and examined the clothes. They looked like clothes from a science fiction movie…

He loved them.

There was a faint scream in the distance, echoing through the dark stone hallways. Ford was almost finished pulling his clothes on and paled when he recognized that scream.

STAN!

Ford stumbled out of the room and down the stairs, thanking the stars that he had finished getting his clothing on. He should have KNOWN Bill had something devious planned! He should have known!

But he let his guard down. This must have been Bill's plan all along. Distract him and then go after Stan! Ford followed the sounds of Stan's screams through the twisting hallways, nearly getting lost a few times but he finally makes it out of the maze of hallways with an angry "BILL! STOP-"

"Oh. Hi Ford." Bill said cheerfully as he pulled the comb through Stan's hair again as the man screamed in protest, smacking at his hands.

"Ow! You're torturing me! I don't use that kinda comb for my hair! Curls are not to be treated lightly!"

Ford just stared. Confused. Stan was perfectly fine...he was in a neat suit with his face well shaved and cleaned. It even smelled nice.

"What…"

"Help me, Ford!" Stan whined. Bill laughed. "Not until you're neat and clean you awful child."

Ford stared at the scene before snorting softly. His snorts soon turned into giggles and then loud laughter. He couldn't stop laughing at this! He hadn't felt this good in months! And Stan pouting was making him laugh even more!

Bill smiled a little softer as he continued carefully combing Stan's hair, to his protests, though the man was also smiling at the sound of Ford's laughter.

Stan examined the clothes his brother was wearing. A long black coat, dark brown boots, dark blue pants and a dark green shirt.

"Hey, where did you get those clothes, Ford? You look like a real space traveler!" The man exclaimed but cried in pain when Bill pulled a knot in his hair.

"Oops." Bill smiled.

"Um...William got them for me…" Ford rubbed the back of his neck blushing. "There were googles too and gloves. I guess for more...extreme adventures."

Bill hummed. "They are Cursed to be indestructible and absorb around 50% of impacts to disperse harmlessly. Figured that would be useful. I can make Stan a set too if he wants." He started pulling Stan's hair into separate strands and began braiding it.

"Of course I want cursed Gloves!" Stan smiled. "Are...are you braiding my hair?!" Carla had tried braiding his hair for years. If she knew he was letting a demon do it, she would get pissed!

Bill hummed. "If you're gonna have a mullet, I'm gonna fix it."

"Seb had one too…" Stan pouted childishly.

"Well Seb isn't here right now~" Bill giggled. Kryptos, who had come into the room hoping to see the human being tortured, pouted. "Bill never braids my hair…"

Keyhole taps his side "You don't even HAVE hair dude."

Kryptos begins muttering about hair growth tonics. "What's so great about keratin anyway?"

Ford looked over, wiping tears from his eyes and finally taking note of the other aliens in the room. "Oh." He looked around.

"Greetings...Tiny...weird specimens." Ford waved them.

Kryptos glowers at him. Specimen. That's what Jorgio's scientists had called him. "Hmph." he floated away from Ford with a glare.

"Geesh…" Ford watched him go and turned to look at Keyhole. "What's your species? You are an alien right?"

Keyhole winced as he looked at Kryptos fuming. "Oh...um...yeah? I mean...I'm a Lockin. You're the other human right?"

"Uh huh." Ford nodded not bothering to hide a grin. Lockin. Haha. "Can I ask a few thousands questions about your species?!"

"Ah…" Keyhole backs up a little. He wasn't sure he was comfortable around this human. "S-sure?" He says nervously.

"Great! Uh, dammit! I don't have my Journal to draw you...Well, doesn't matter! I have photographic memory so I will just do it later. So! Let's start, shall we?!"

"S-start what?!" Keyhole squeaks.

"How long does your species live? Why do you have a hole in your body, what's its function? How do you reproduce? Are you a social species or solitary? How tall are you? What language do you speak?!"

Keyhole started panicking. Too many questions! "Ah...ah…" He backed off. When the human leaned in even more, Keyhole squeaked and ran away to hide behind Bill.

Bill looks behind him. "You okay kid?" Keyhole shook his head. "He's scaring me…" he whimpered.

Ford pouted and walked towards them.

"Aaw, but Fordsie's a cutie! Humans are super weak and harmless flesh bags, kid!" Bill crooned as he fluffed Stan's hair.

"Hey!" The identical men shouted at the same time.

"There, you are free to go, Stan!" He admired the braids he made with a wide smile. So pretty.

Stan grumbles. "Can I at least wear something that's not this monkey suit? I wear it enough at work." He pulled at his tie. Bill poked his cheek. "I'll have you know that suit looks nice on you."

"Yeah, Stan. And those braids are SO pretty!" Ford grinned. "You should probably change your clothes to a skirt?"

Bill flicks his fingers and put Stan in a maid outfit. Kryptos actually snorts, looking both amused and angry. "Bill always puts ME in a maid outfit…" he whispered.

Ford burst into laughter and actually fell to the floor because his legs gave up, shaking like jelly. He held his stomach as he laughed.

Stan, accepting this was his life now, sighed tiredly while looking extremely pissed off.

"Real mature, Stanford." Stan grumbled.

Kryptos fumed quietly. Keyhole patted his back. "I know how you feel bro." He sighed sadly. "What are you talking about?" Bill asked. The two stiffened "Nothing important." Kryptos said quickly.

Stan got tired of his brother and jumped over to attack him. "Stop laughing, you nerdy jerk!!"

Ford screamed and Stan fell over him. "Move your heavy ass off me!"

Stan grinned. "Tickle Tickle."

"No. NO STANLEY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" Stan and Shermie weren't ticklish but Ford and Seb were, and it has always been something they have used to their advantage.

He had missed messing up with his brother…To show his love, the young man started choking his brother with a headlock.

Bill giggled fondly. It was nice to see them happy together. He almost didn't want to interrupt them to talk about the housing thing.

"Um...guys?" He said almost . "Not to interrupt but I still need to make your rooms."

Ford escaped Stan's grip and gasped.

"Sure! Just Abracadabra it."Stan grins.

Bill rolled his eye. "Well are you guys in the same room or separate? Do you guys want to customize?"

"Wait. I thought we would go around the multiverse looking for the pieces to make the quantum destabilizer. Why are you giving us rooms?"

"Oh, right. You were a drunk ass yesterday." Stan laughed. "Bill will let us stay and help us until we are totally sure we won't die out there."

"Yeah, you're gonna need to learn how to travel and how to act around people right? Do you know how to hotwire a ship? How to avoid being arrested?"

"I do…" Stan muttered.

"And I'm gonna need to get you guys a translation bracer. I'm holding a translation field up around me right now but once you leave…" Bill frowned. "Also, it's about time for your next 'payment' session for my help."

"Payment?" Stanford asked softly before his eyes widened. "Stanley...what did you do?!" He made a deal with Bill! A particularly caring and nice one, but a Bill Cipher nonetheless!

"Geesh, relax Poindexter." Stan rolled his eyes. "It is something super easy. I didn't sell my soul or anything."

Bill blushed. "You were there when the Deal went down...though you were kinda half asleep…"

"I am not quite sure I recall what the deal was…" Ford coughed and looked down awkwardly.

Bill looked around at where his friends were watching. "Um...let's continue this conversation in your room…" he waved a hand and a door appeared in the nearby wall. It was a simple bedroom, much like the one he made in the cabin earlier but a little larger and with a bathroom that contained a Jacuzzi.

"And what if Stanley doesn't do what you ask him? His part of the deal, I mean." The scientist entered the room and sat down as Bill closed the door. The demon frowned. "Then the power of my Deal would force me to do something awful. I cannot go against a Deal you see? If I do my end, then I NEED my client to hold up their end."

Bill frowned. "Half the reason my clients get killed or mutilated is because they try to cheat me and I am LITERALLY forced to dish out a punishment."

The triplets shared a look.

"...Okay! I don't mind fulfilling my end of the deal. It's nothing. Really." Stan had been returned to his old clothes, his red jacket and jeans, but now they were clean and smelled nice. He threw himself onto the bed and motioned for Bill to come closer because he was already comfortable on the soft bed and didn't plan to move. Ford raised an eyebrow.

Bill changed out of his maid outfit into a simple sleeping gown. It still had a few frills and ribbons but it was softer and more comfortable. He crawled onto the bed and sat down in Stan's lap, pressing his back against Stan's front.

Bill shivered a little at being so close to another person but Stan had already paid him before and hadn't touched him anywhere else. He couldn't help a faint agitation but took a few breaths and forced himself to relax.

It wasn't just the want of head pats that made him suggest this Deal. Bill really wanted to get over his aversion to touch and this was like...exposure therapy. Bill never did things without reason. Even if those reasons didn't make sense to anyone but him.

"You ok?" Stan asked softly when he felt him shiver. When the demon nodded, Stan started massaging his head slowly, as if petting a kitten or a puppy. Bill mewled softly at the feeling.

Ford gaped slightly, staring in confusion at the scene and feeling his cheeks warming up with every passing minute. That was...it?! That was the deal?! The Bill he knew would probably want to torture his brother! Not ask for a head massage!

Bill started rumbling in content. This really felt nice. How he wished he could get a full massage as well. But even just the idea of such a thing made him feel uncomfortable. Baby steps. He can go about this slowly.

"How long will this take?" Ford groaned, getting uncomfortable, and turned to look around the room for a notepad and pen, or even a paper and a pencil would be enough.

To his surprise there was a journal. Bound in blue with his signature golden hand print. Bill really had tried to make the room accommodating.

He gasped and picked it up, running a hand over the hand. This looked so nice… He turned to look back at the demon and his lip quirked upward when he saw Stan grimacing at how Bill was purring and rubbing against his chest. "Don't stop now…!!" Bill whined.

Ford turned around and sat down on the desk, grabbing the pen he found before starting to write down everything Stanley and he had experienced since going through the portal.

Bill felt his focus slipping as the fingers gently rubbed at his scalp. Oh...right...he had a Dreamscape right no…

Stan blinked when he felt the demon lean more heavily against his chest, as if he had gone limp. "Dorito? Kid?" He looked down to see Bill's eye closed, his expression slack and breathing softly. "Ah...Sixer? I think he fell asleep? Does that mean I'm done with this payment session?"

"Fell asleep?" Ford repeated aloud. "But Bill Cipher can't sleep…" He stood up and walked towards his brother who was still under the sleeping demon.

"WELL, FORD." Stan said with hissed teeth. "I'm sure he is sleeping right now! Help me!"

Ford was more fascinated by a sleeping Bill Cipher than helping his brother. "Fascinating. How is this possible?" he stared at the peaceful look on his face.

"This potentially means another dream demon can get into his dreams, like Bill can do…" Ford was a little worried about that.

"Can a demon get possessed?" He started clicking his pen as he thought and Stan glared at him. He was no one's pillow! He was only one person's pillow and she wasn't here so he shouldn't be acting as someone else's pillow!

Unknown to the two of them, Bill's paranoia had him placing protection runes all around the outer walls of the Death Star on top of the Curse of protection already on it. Bill took the advice from the other Bill very seriously.

"Ford, move him!" Stan begged. If his brother couldn't lift a cyclops demon kid off him now that they were in a safe place, how were they planning to survive alone, with just the two of them, escaping from the law or monsters, and rely on each other if he couldn't DO THIS NOW?!

Ford had his new journal open and was writing down some notes. "In a minute Stanley. I have to mark this down…"

"Sixer!" Stan cried when Bill snuggled closer to him, wrapping an arm around him. Human bodies locked down in sleep to prevent movement. Bill didn't have such a thing, or at least his body didn't lock down as hard so he tended to move around a lot in his sleep.

They weren't going to survive...It was crystal clear...Ford would stop to draw or study the creature if he could...It would be up to him to keep this idiot safe…He tried to escape from the demon's clutches but he simply hugged him tighter.

"Sixer...Ah, forget it." He glared at his brother and huffed, laying down completely and allowing Bill to hug him. Bill snuggled up, just like he always does with Xanthar and rumbled happily.

Now that Stan wasn't distracting him, Ford went back to the desk to continue writing down his observations. He finished drawing Bill's humanoid form and added the title 'William Cipher, a nice one for a change.' If he could only go find more of Bill's friends to add them to his new Journal!

Outside the room Kryptos was floating back and forth worriedly. Bill's been in there for a while. None of the others seemed worried. 8-Ball even told him that one of the humans, the one known as Stanley, was an honorable warrior. Kryptos sneered. Why wasn't anyone else stressing out over this?

Two strangers! Alone with Bill!

Hectorgon reminded him that the wards around the house would alert them of any malicious intents. Kryptos conceded his point but why was Bill taking so long in there? What sort of Deal did they have?!

Finally the compass couldn't take it anymore and opened the door. "What is taking you so long-!"

He stopped dead in his tracks.

The human on the bed gave him a lazy wave. "Oh hey square dude. Can you help me move your friend here? He just kinda…"

Kryptos wasn't listening though. All he could see was Bill curled on the human's broad muscular chest, purring in content. On the BED. He twitched. "How...DARE you!" he hissed.

Ford turned to look at the angry blue rhombus and gasped. "Woah! I didn't noticed what you were made of before! How does it even work?!"

Kryptos snarled. "How dare you take Bill's virginity!" He shook.