---
So it didn't take as long as I'd feared to fix the damage. I carefully stayed invisible because this was super embarrassing and I didn't want to talk to the confused hotel staff. The kids were found in the basement, still surrounded by fondue forks. They were all quickly arrested for the destruction of the hotel (even if all the damage was 'miraculously' fixed) and Keyhole confessed to the four of them robbing the bank, terrified of the 'divine punishment of the Key Gods' that might occur if he stayed quiet.
I think they may have all developed a fear of fondue forks.
Of course the news of the collapsing hotel rooms got out and even though Xanthar, Ammy and I made it back to the casino, the guests there were gossiping about the mysterious incident a few blocks away. I tried my best to look innocent but both Pyronica and Teeth stared at me with unimpressed expressions.
"Bill...what did you do?" Pyronica taps her foot. I look away. "Nothing..." I fiddle with the hem of my dress. Pyronica leans in close and squints at me. "Have you been drinking?"
"Bill only had a few sips. They're buzzed but not drunk." Ammy defends me. I give Pyronica a smug look. She looks unimpressed. "So how many floors did you destroy?' She deadpans.
"Gravity destroyed the floors! Not me!" I protested.
"HAH! So you WERE involved!"
I face palmed. Shit.
"Alright! Details! I wanna hear what happened."
"I didn't think 3 tons of forks would be enough to make the floor cave in." I grumbled.
"...can I ask WHY there were 3 tons of forks?" Hectorgon asked while looking morbidly curious.
"I was messing with some dumb kids. Just a sort-of-not-really-harmless prank..."
"It was funny for the first 15 seconds." Ammy informed everyone. "And then everything broke."
"I fixed it!" I point out.
Hec, Teeth and Ronica kept staring judgingly. I gasp dramatically "I feel SO attacked right now." I looked around for a distraction. "Where's Jorgio?"
"Some high profile guests showed up and he had to go schmooze. He says we can go home if we want since he'll be busy for the rest of the night." Pyronica grumbles. "I think they were some of his allied Familias or whatever..."
"You sound upset?"
"They brought their daughters and those simpering girls just start going out of their way to 'subtly' flatter Jorgio." Pyronica raises her voice a few octaves "Oh Don Literatura is sooo handsome~oh my~he looked at us! Oh whatever shall we do~" she stomps her foot angrily. "It was actually funny until they started insulting me, as if I couldn't hear them! They were like-" she raises her pitch again "-who is that hideous thing? Only ONE mouth?"
We were all leaning back from the fuming Cyclopian. She hissed. "Really? What the fuck was their problem? Frankly I wanted to eat them but Jorgio told them off for me." She sighed. "That was actually pretty funny." She sounded torn between joy at the devastated looks on those girl's faces and annoyance that she didn't get to take them down a peg herself.
"They're probably jealous because you're prettier than they'll ever be." I assured her "Anyway~how's everyone else doing?" I asked.
Teeth was almost vibrating with excitement. "I got a role!" He shouts happily. I blink, surprised. "Wait- really! That's AWESOME man!" Teeth and I high foured each other.
"Where? How?" I was just as excited as he was. Teeth preened under our attention. "Well I was at the theater here where they were doing some improv stuff and they called up some volunteers from the audience. Naturally I ran up." He grins widely.
"They were pretty impressed by me. I got their card!" Teeth holds up a small metal sheet. A transdimensional navigator keyed into a specific location in the multiverse. Homebase for the theater troupe most likely. "And the head of the troupe told me to drop by next week to sign on with them properly."
We all congratulated him.
"But does that really mean you have a role?" Ammy asks.
"Well they said they have an open spot since one of their other members quit. I'm not gonna have a big role or anything but it's the first real thing I've gotten." Teeth shrugs, not necessarily bothered by the idea of only playing side characters. "I can work my way up. Bill made us immortal so I've got time."
"Immortal-?! What?" Hectorgon chokes.
"Oh right, you're new." Pyronica grins. "Well one of the many perks about being Bill's friend is that we no longer age."
"Just try not to get killed. I'd probably go on a murderous rampage if that happened. Also, it's not that you don't age so much as you no longer take damage from aging." I say seriously. After all, Pyronica's hair still grows so it's not as if I froze her in time or anything.
Hectorgon swallows thickly. "N-noted..." He seemed awed. "So...you can grant people immortality?"
"Eh~halting aging isn't really all that difficult. Simply continue feeding energy into a creature to heal any cellular decomposition. It's much easier with living creatures. Dead things are already...dead and they're much harder to work with." I shrug.
"You really ARE a god..." Hectorgon says reverently. I blush. "L-like I said it's not really a big deal! There's lots of stuff in the multiverse that can slow, halt or reverse the effects of aging."
"I didn't think a god would be so powerful without any worshipers..." Hectorgon muses.
"Oh I have them. My power's not tied to them though. At most I can feed off the emotion of their worship as a boost."
"Wait! You have worshipers?!" Pyronica gasps. "When did this happen? Who are they?!"
"Some demons who idolize me, some people I accidentally drove mad when I appeared before them, some edgy teenagers who think I'm an icon of anarchy...some witches on the Penis planet who make Deals with me in exchange for 'magic' and shit." All of Jan's 'fans' counted as well. I was pleasantly surprised to find that out.
I shrug. "You'd be surprised at the sorts of people I meet over the years."
"I can't believe the Penis planet is still around..." Pyronica groans with her face buried in her hands.
""Penis WHAT now?!"" Teeth and Hectorgon gasp.
"Bill got super drunk this one time..." Ammy starts to explain before I wave at him to shut up. "It's not important!"
"I for one am very much interested in this." Hectorgon twirled his mustache with a perverted smile. I roll my eyes.
"Okay, so I MAY have accidentally created a porno planet and I MAY have been video taping the 'things' that happen on that planet and selling the porn on the Void markets. A few natives noticed me this one time when I went down there and before I knew it, I had worshipers. Fair's fair, I DID create their world so…"
"Wait, is this that stuff with those creatures that look like mini-colonies?" Teeth asked.
"They're called humans, and yes. How do you know?" I squint at Teeth. "You haven't been to the void markets have you?"
"No! I don't even know how to find one! I just...well..." He flushes. "I found them online..."
"I too, have found many videos of them. I had not realized you were indirectly involved..." Hectorgon admits.
"How ARE you guys finding this shit?! I wanna watch it too! Teeth! You're telling me where you find porn once we get home!" Pyronica demands. Loudly.
I can feel the gazes of the people around us and slumped lower in my chair, glowing orange. "Maybe we should be more quiet..."
Pyronica quirks her eye at me before standing up and taking a deep breath. My eye widens "No-!"
"BOY I SURE DO LOOOOVE~ PORN! MMHMM THAT'S SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE!" Pyronica bellows loudly.
I shrink down and tried to hide in one of Ammy's blocks, burning orange in embarrassment.
Pyronica cackles at me. "You're so cute sometimes Bill. Seriously~"
"Uwuuu~" I moaned.
"It's weird how he's so easily embarrassed by things like this, and yet feels no shame for pretty much everything else he does..." Teeth chuckles. I stick a tiny hand out of Ammy's block and flip him off. The mouth laughs harder.
Ammy looks down at me and sighs. "Bill please come out of there."
"...no..."
Ammy rolls his eyes at me.
So I stayed inside his block, pouting as my friends talked about how their evening went. Hectorgon got the contact info from a few CEO's. He also got a few slaps from women when they misunderstood his intentions. Teeth laughs uproariously. "I bet it's the mustache! Makes you look sleazy~"
"ExCUSE~me?! I'll have you know it makes me look distinguished!" Hectorgon scoffs and twirls said mustache. Despite his words, his tone was amused and I was glad that he was comfortable enough to realize Teeth was just joking.
Ammy brings up Keyhole and his worry over the poor boy's situation. I perk up and listen to see what everyone's opinion on the subject would be.
"Do you think we could take Keyhole as our new friend?" Ammy asks. I keep quiet, I want my friends to make this decision on their own.
"Well...his situation does sound sad, but we don't know him." Teeth says slowly.
"When has that stopped us before?" Pyronica rolls her eye. "Does Bill like him?" They all peered into Ammy's block and I shrug. "We can all go meet him if you want? He and his 'friends' are currently in hold in."
"Does that mean I can take the suit off now?" Teeth pulls at his collar. I sigh but tell him that he can take it off once we leave the casino. He cheers.
Really. Teeth just doesn't understand the joys of being a snappy dresser~
---
Orb's parents already bailed him out. They seemed quite angry at him. I hear his mother berating him and telling him that he should stop hanging out with those 'trash' friends of his. Orb just scowls angrily, I know he's not gonna listen to a word his mother says. Part of me wants to speak up but frankly, this is not my problem.
I DID tap two forks together and watch Orb jump in fear. The way he looked around wildly for the source of his terror was amusing.
Actually...
I placed a subtle Curse on him to make him hear Clinking sounds whenever he...does something that I would find morally reprehensible. Kinda curious what would happen. It'll be an experiment.
Lolph was on the phone with HIS parents, there was a lot of yelling over the line. Greg was grumbling moodily as her parents came for her. They looked more resigned than angry. I looked over at Keyhole who was sitting in a cell. He hasn't even bothered to call his uncle.
I've gone back to my normal outfit, I missed my top hat. I felt incomplete without it.
The officer behind the desk was looking worried. "Um...are you here to turn yourself in?" She asks weakly. I stare at her until she squeaks and shakes her head. "N-nevermind!"
"I'm curious about the kid there." I inform her. "What's going to happen to him?" I maaaay have put out a 'compulsion' effect to get the officer to talk. Nothing big, just loosens people's tongues and makes them speak what they think.
The officer looked confused. "Oh, well he confessed to robbing the bank, but there's nothing missing from any of the vaults. At most there are a few melted doors which that Tarkan boy is being suspected of causing."
She actually looks sympathetic. "Despite his confession there's no evidence he actually committed any crime, the damage to the hotel was fixed and no keys were missing...so he's free to go." She sighs. "But he refuses."
"I see...well thank you for your time ma'am." I tip my hat and float into the hall with the holding cells. My friends trail behind me. A few other officers are anxiously watching us. "Sir? You can't just go in there..."
"It'll only be a few minutes ma'am."
I float up to Keyhole's cell. The poor boy hasn't even looked up yet, morosely staring at the ground. "Why're you still here kid?" I asked. He didn't respond. Pyronica peers at him. "Aw~lookie this little guy~"
"Roni, don't be rude. Poor kid's been through a lot tonight."
As I was berating her, Ammy floated up to the bars and stared intently at the Lockin. "Hello. We are going to kidnap you now." He says simply. Keyhole looks up to stare at him. "Excuse me what?"
The cell door wasn't locked so Ammy went in, picked up the now panicking teenager and carried him out of the cell. "We're done here. Let's go home." Ammy says calmly, as if kidnapping a minor was perfectly normal.
I sputtered. Keyhole let out scared squeals. "Wh-who are you people?!" Hectorgon was face palming. Teeth and Pyronica were laughing their asses off. Even Xanthar looked somewhat amused.
"No Ammy. Put him down." I scolded. He turned to me with an annoyed look. "So we can't keep him?" The Amorphous Shape asked.
"You can't kidnap someone without their permission. Here, observe..." I gently make Ammy place Keyhole on the ground. Materializing a large sack, I gestured to it and spoke to Keyhole. "Would you like to get in the bag so we can take you home with us and give you the proper love and care you deserve?"
I can hear Pyronica snort as she unsuccessfully tries to muffle her laughter. Ammy was taking notes. "Oh. So that's how it works..." Hectorgon was moaning into his hands "This is the god I have pledged my life to..." He sounds strained.
Keyhole stares at me, utterly confused and a little terrified. "What?!"
I stare at him. "Are you happy here? Do you want to go home to your uncle? Do you want to stay here or do you want to find someplace better?" I asked him seriously. "I understand if we're suspicious as hell right now but I'm legitimately asking if you'd like to come live with us."
"I don't even KNOW you people?! What is happening right now?!"
"Your confusion is obvious. Let me explain." I straightened myself. "The name's Bill Cipher. I would like to offer you a Deal."
"A...Deal?" Keyhole trembled.
"Those friends of yours don't appreciate you. You're bullied, belittled and lonely as heck. Ammy-" I gestured to my son "-felt that you don't deserve to be treated in such a way and asked if I would take you in. The Deal is simple. Be my friend and I will care for you, provide for you and allow you the freedom to come and go as you please. All I ask in return is your friendship."
The police around us were staring. A few were videotaping this on their phones.
Keyhole stares. "Why me? Why not anyone else?"
"Because you're lonely. You hang out with your friends because you want to feel needed but being around them just makes you feel even more isolated. To be honest, this is pretty much a spur of the moment decision. If you want, I can give you some time to think about it." Goodness knows I'd like everyone to get to know each other before we seal this Deal.
"But I don't even know you."
"And we don't know you either. Ammy requested you and I personally don't have any problems with it. How about a trial run? We hang out for a while and see if we like each other before we fully commit."
"Are you going to take my soul?" Keyhole asks nervously.
I make an annoyed sound. "Why does EVERYONE think that?"
"Well isn't that what most demons do? Souls gives them power and stuff." Teeth pipped up. I roll my eye at him. "Please~I don't need Souls to be an all-powerful demon god. Anyone who relies on soul consumption for power is a pathetic loser trying too hard to compensate for their own inadequacy."
I send a mild glare at the people filming me. "I don't need artificial boosters to keep me going. I don't have performance issues. Not like SOME people. I'm calling you out Chernobog! You lazy fuck! When was the last time YOU did anything noteworthy?!"
"Bill, you're getting off topic..." Pyronica gently, slowly, puts her hand on my side and turns me away from the camera. Keyhole was watching me bemusedly and blinks in surprise at Pyronica. I see him start to look at my other friends, finally noticing them.
"So...you guys are Bill Cipher's friends?"
"Yup! And it's awesome!" Teeth says happily. "Bill takes friendship really seriously. He takes care of us. Feeds us, gives us a place to live and takes us out to play and have fun all over the multiverse!"
"All we have to do in return is hang out with him when he wants our company." Pyronica adds. She leans in and grins at Keyhole. "He gets lonely you see?"
"He also grants us his protection. If you agree to be Bill's friend, he will destroy anyone who tries to harm you or take you from him." Ammy shrugs. "Bill's incredibly possessive."
"I'm not possessive!" I protest. Everyone gives me a deadpan look, even Xanthar. Hectorgon coughs into a fist. "CoughBullshitCough."
I scoff dramatically. "I am OFFENDED you would think such a thing of me!" Teeth sniggers. I roll my eye and give Keyhole a resigned look. "You see what I have to deal with? They're lucky they're my friends 'cause anyone else trying to sass me like that is due for a month of nightmares involving Sing-a-ma-jigs..."
"What's a Sing-a-ma-jig?" Keyhole unfortunately asked. I materialize one of those monstrosities and squeeze it's belly.
"Lou~" it sings.
Everyone recoiled from it, even the police watching us. "Aaahhh!! Kill it!! Kill it with fire!!" Pyronica shrieks. She sets it on fire and I drop it to the ground where we all stare in fascinated horror as it slowly burns up while droning out an increasingly distorted "Lou~", the shriveled and twisted plastic letting out putrid smoke. I absently disperse the smoke before anyone gets plastic poisoning.
"What kind of psychopath created that monstrosity?!" Hectorgon whispered fearfully into the resulting silence. "Fisher Price..." I hiss.
"It had teeth! Stuffed dolls shouldn't have teeth!!!" Teeth wails.
"This experience will haunt me forever." Ammy says matter of factly.
"Pfth-!"
I glance at Keyhole who's covering his mouth as his shoulders shake. "Mmph!" He muffled a snort. Finally he lets out a laugh. "Y-you hahaha! You guys are *snerk* you all just hahaha!" He laughs with a wide grin, I can literally feel him relax.
It was nice.
Stress isn't good for him. His loneliness and self doubt were bitter and I didn't like their taste. Seeing him laugh like this was much better. After a bit he calmed and gave us a smile. "Um...I don't want to decide so suddenly...could we...just hang out for a while before I make any Deals?"
"Sure kid." I wave my hand and make a necklace with a triangle pendant. "Just tap than when you're free. We can schedule a playdate."
"So...you...really want me to be your friend? Why?" Keyhole asks quietly.
I float down until I'm around eye to eyes with him. "To be honest I was watching you earlier. I met your 'friends' at the dance club, followed them 'cause I was bored and saw you. I saw how they treated you. They treat you like shit. Friends shouldn't treat friends like shit. It pissed me off."
"And...that's all it took? You didn't like how I was treated so you want to take me in? You...don't just want me to join your gang because you saw how I can break into places?"
I shrugged. "As if I need you to open doors for me. If I decide something, I go with it. It's that simple. I'm told I'm somewhat...insistent..."
"Bill's stubborn and pushy! Once he's got his sights set on you he will aggressively befriend you until you break and give in. If he wants something, he gets it." Pyronica speaks up. "He followed me around until I agreed to hang out with him."
"Don't say it like that, you make me sound like some kind of creepy stalker. Besides, you didn't move in with me until weeks after we first met!"
"You literally have eyes spying on every part of the universe." Pyronica deadpans. Teeth, Ammy and Hectorgon nod. Xanthar just shrugged.
"You're all ganging up on meeee~" I whined. Keyhole laughs. "Well, I...guess I can hang out tomorrow? After school." He fiddled with the necklace.
"Alright. See you then kid. Also, do you need help getting home? I noticed you haven't called your guardian?"
Keyhole's smile wilts. "I don't want to trouble you for a ride..."
"Who's driving?" I hold out my hand beside me and pinch my index and thumb together. "I've got wormholes!" I pull my hand down and make a controlled rip in space. The tear widens into a circular doorway displaying a street with an apartment building.
"...how do you know where I live?"
"He's Bill Cipher. He knows where everyone lives." Ammy responded helpfully.
I can see a few police officers paling in fear. I scoff. "I do NOT know where everyone LIVES." I see the police relax a little. "I know where everyone SLEEPS. There is a big difference." All the police now looked horrified. I relish in it. A few of them might even be too afraid to sleep for a while.
It was quite funny.
Keyhole pales a little, I can hear him thanking the Key gods that he was somehow on my good side. The only side anyone wanted to be with me honestly. He approached the wormhole. "This...won't hurt me?"
"It's safer than teleporters." I answer honestly. "It's a late night kid. Get home. Get some rest. We'll see you tomorrow."
He warily pokes a hand through and then steps over into his neighborhood. He looked amazed at the process. My friends and I wave good bye before I sealed the tear back up. Not wanting to be filmed by the police anymore, I grabbed my friends and teleported home. I think we're done for the night.
I turned to the others "So, thoughts?"
"From what I can see, he's a scared and lonely child. I would like to help him." Hectorgon says. He had an incredible soft spot for children. Parental instincts I suppose.
"I mean, I wouldn't turn him away if he wants to come with us." Teeth says. "He seems like a good kid."
"Doesn't he have a family though? You sent him home right?" Pyronica asks.
"He's technically an orphan. Lives with his uncle. They're not that close." I shrug. Ugh. Getting one of Bill's friends to be my friend shouldn't be so...hard...can't I just put them in a sack and go?
No Bill. That's a terrible idea. Maybe use a Poke'ball instead.
While I was considering the mechanics needed to build an actual Poke'ball, Kryptos floated up to us. "You're back early. I thought you wouldn't be home for at least another few hours."
"Well we met someone." Teeth starts.
"He might become our new friend, we're gonna hang out and see how it goes." Ammy wags his blocks back and forth. "I do hope he says yes."
"Also I think Bill traumatized a whole police force. It was great. We should look up the videos on ThemTube later." Pyronica laughs.
"Is it...normal for Bill to just...choose someone to be his friend?" Hectorgon asked. Everyone turns to look at him.
"Pretty much. He literally saw me start a fight in a marketplace and decided to follow me around. Bill told me he demanded Xanthar as payment for a Deal when he saw how horrible his living conditions were." Pyronica shrugs.
"I was his waiter at a restaurant." Teeth says happily.
"I crawled out of the ground, Bill found me and took me to meet...someone...before bringing me here. I don't really remember who or what he brought me to meet. My thoughts back then were pretty scrambled." Ammy chimes in.
"....Bill DID just find me inside a robot..." Kryptos realizes.
"Huh...and he ran into me while you were all having a snowball fight?" Hectorgon rubs his chin. I cough. "Actually I did that one on purpose. I'd actually been observing you for a while before we met in person."
"Wait. You PLANNED to pick me up?" Hectorgon gasps. I rub my side and shrug. "I was just looking to hire a programmer to help set up our computers. Wasn't really planning on acquiring you until we actually met."
"You make it sound like you're collecting us." Kryptos says slowly.
"Not on purpose! Sort of! Kinda of! I don't know?!" I sputtered. I droop. "I just like having friends..." Xanthar comes over to me, raises his large hand, keeping it within my sight the entire time, and gently embraced me in a hug. I sigh and press against his soft fur.
"Bill, it's alright. There's nothing wrong with having friends. I wasn't...trying to criticize you..." Kryptos winced when he saw my sad expression.
"But...what if I WAS collecting you all? What if I'm taking you all in due to my own selfishness?"
"Well, it doesn't feel selfish?" Teeth scratched his gums in confusion. "You're super nice to us."
I sighed and closed my eye. Should I just tell them? I may as well. It...wouldn't be nice to keep this a secret forever. I keep enough secrets as is. My alternative identities, my origins, what I really am...
I'm literally made of secrets and half truths.
I call these guys my friends but I don't even trust them with the truths I keep. I don't like thinking about that. It makes me feel like I'm a terrible person. Like I don't actually have friends I can trust and that they're nothing more than toys I keep around for entertainment and emotional comfort.
I still can't bring myself to tell them the whole truth. Part of me was afraid they'd no longer respect me if they found out I was really just a scared and lonely little girl. A girl who had the power to destroy planets, but whatever.
"You know how I can see the future?" I ask quietly.
Most of my friends nod, except Hectorgon who gasps. "What?!"
"Well most of the time I keep that ability turned off. It's a hassle more than anything. I see multiple branching timelines stretching on and growing for each possible outcome. It's a goddamned mess!" I get a headache just thinking about it.
"Well I've seen...in one of those timelines...me surrounded by friends. I have no context for it. I didn't know who any of those people were. Only that they were my friends in an alternative future..."
Kryptos caught on first. "You saw us, didn't you?" He trembled a little.
"I had no idea who any of those people were. At most I knew what they looked like. There were many that I don't know the names of. I was so young back then. Like...25 years old...though I was 21 when I first began seeing the visions..." Partial truths. Gravity Falls came out when I was 21 and ended four years later.
"How...old were you when you first found me?" Pyronica asks.
"Around 20 billion...maybe? I have trouble keeping track of time..."
"And you...spent all those billions of years alone? With nothing more than an image of a possible future where you had friends?" Kryptos stared at me. I could taste his pity. He tried to imagine how lonely that'd feel and made himself sad.
"Yeah...I didn't know who any of those people in the vision were. I didn't know where or when I would meet them. Or if I ever even would. For all I know, that future would never happen in THIS timeline..."
"That's...that's just not fair..." Teeth sniffles. "That's the saddest thing I've ever heard..."
"When I met Xanthar...something just clicked inside me. I recognized him. I knew he was one of the people I saw in that vision. I also saw how he was being treated and I just knew I had to get him out of there..." I pet Xanthar's face gently. He let out feelings of 'content' 'gratefulness' and 'affection'. "The fact that he became my friend was sort of a plus."
"Was it like that with the rest of us?" Hectorgon asked.
"I met Pyronica by coincidence, same with Teeth, though I didn't realize he was one of my alternate future friends until a while afterward. No offense Teeth but I have trouble telling Mouths apart."
"None taken. Most people can't tell us apart. It's why we're interchangeable." There was a note of bitterness in his voice. Even after all this time, he hasn't gotten over the pain of being abandoned by his colony.
"I didn't recognize Ammy when I first found him. The Amorphous Shape in my vision was much larger."
"Well I WAS still pretty young when you found me." Ammy shrugs.
"I never purposely set out to find you all. I just happen to run into you. And once I recognized you I couldn't let you go. I'm sorry I never told you about this..."
"So, from what you're saying, I'm guessing you saw Keyhole in your vision as well?" Pyronica deduced.
I nod. "Yeah. Once again though, I knew nothing about who he is as a person. All I got from my vision were images."
"Bill, stop feeling bad about this. So you saw us in a vision back when you were a kid. So what? It took you the equivalent of LIFETIMES before you ever even MET any of us. Frankly, if I was forced to spend eons all alone, I'd latch onto the first friendly face I saw too." Pyronica comes over to take my hand. "Even if you only approached us because you saw us in a vision, it doesn't change the fact that you've helped all of us. We are friends Bill. We like being around you. I'm sure the other You in that vision befriended us the same way."
"So...you're not mad at me?" I squeeze her hand. She grins. "Of course not. You know, for an all-powerful demon you have very low self esteem."
I roll my eye. "I know better than anyone what a horrible person I am." Pyronica frowns and flicks my top corner. "Ow."
"Don't talk about yourself like that. You're the nicest guy I know."
"I'm only nice to you guys." I grumble.
"That's not true at all." Ammy insists. "Even when you crushed those kids under the forks, you made sure they wouldn't be seriously hurt. Same for all the other hotel guests."
"T-that's just 'cause I didn't want to kill anyone..." I look away. Pyronica gives me a smug look. "And this is why you're a nice guy Bill."
"You guys don't know the terrible things I do. You don't come with me to my summonings anymore."
Pyronica pales slightly. "Well that is different. You're just doing your job."
"Making Deals with anyone stupid, desperate or evil enough to summon me. I've granted so many awful Deals." I couldn't help a smile though. "I DID make them all pay for it..."
"Look, I'm not saying you're a saint. You've probably killed more people than anyone else, but you're still a good person. Even if you won't believe that, I KNOW that you're just a softie on the inside." Pyronica insists.
"...if you want to believe that, great, I just...I personally feel like a real heel sometimes. I'm selfish. I'm petty. I have anger issues that are probably never going to get better. I'm...needy..." I list off, getting more upset as I went. "I selfishly bound you all to me so that you won't age and die and leave me alone..."
"I told you. Immortality is cool. I don't mind being immortal." Pyronica tries to cheer me up.
"Will you still think that when you outlive your own species?" I ask. It was something I had been afraid to point out. But I had to. I had to tell them all now, before it's too late. "Would you all still think that when you become the last of your kind?" I can still fix things now. If they asked me to revoke their immortality, I could still do so. The Cyclopian race still existed. She still had a chance for finding a proper mate, bearing young, starting a family…
It might be too late for Xanthar though. His species were already endangered when we first met. There probably aren't enough of them left to carry on. They'll go extinct within a few centuries. I wonder if I could find Xanthar a mate? Just so he could try to keep his species going? Just a little longer?
Everyone pales at my words. Except Ammy since he was already the only one of his kind. Hectorgon has a pained expression. Xanthar squeezes me tighter, 'realization' and 'worry' coming off him as he realized that he might really be one of the last surviving members of his kind. Teeth goes quiet. Kryptos was staring at the ground with a wide eye. Pyronica bit her lip and trembled.
"Yes." She says at last. I'm shocked as she looks me straight in the eye. Her voice was firm. Determined. "If it were a choice between dying out with my people or staying by your side, I would choose you. You're my best friend Bill. I care more about you than some random strangers. Sure it would be...weird to be the last of my kind, but that's not gonna happen for a while right?"
I slump against Xanthar's face. "It was still selfish of me to curse you all in such a way without asking first."
"But you did." Kryptps says quietly. "You asked us to be your friend from now until the end of time. If we didn't realize you meant that literally, it's on us for not getting it."
"I mean...the idea of outliving everyone I knew is kinda scary but it's not like I'll be alone right?" Teeth manages a smile. "You had to be immortal all alone. We have each other so it's not as bad."
"And even if you truly DID see us all in a vision, you didn't immediately force us to be your friend. You ask us. You get to know us. You gave us all a CHOICE." Hectorgon points out.
"You're not as bad as you think you are...mom." Ammy blushed as he gently takes my other hand. I sigh. I understood what they were saying. I get it. But it didn't change how I FELT. I still felt like a selfish monster. As much as I loved them all I couldn't stop that part of me from worrying if maybe I was forcing them to love me back. I'm a powerful psychic creature. What if I had been unconsciously manipulating them to like me?
It was a fear I struggled with whenever they smiled at me or told me how much they cared. I was so afraid it wasn't real. That I was forcing them to care for me. It was the only thing that made sense. There's no way they could truly care for something like me unless I manipulated them to. This latest conversation just confirmed my fears. There's no way they would choose ME unless I was forcing them to.
I start sobbing as my thoughts got progressively more depressing. Taking my hands back, I twined my fingers together, closing myself off. I was too distraught to talk or explain so I just sobbed. Staring at them as my crying got progressively more hysterical.
I know they were confused. They couldn't tell what upset me this time but I just sobbed and flew away to lock myself in the bathroom. I was inconsolable. They tried to ask me what was wrong, their worry only made me feel more guilty. Finally they left to give me some space. I huddled on the countertop, curled around myself and shook with the force of my sobs.
Once I was too tired to cry anymore I took those depressing thoughts and pushed them far back into the deepest parts of my mind. Down where I wouldn't have to think about them. Down where they won't bother me. Down where I can forget I even had those thoughts. Everything is fine.
Everything is fine.
Everything is fine.
Everything is fine.
I unlocked the door and flew back out to make a late night snack for everyone, humming cheerfully. No one questioned me but Hectorgon looked like he wanted to say something. Teeth looked worried but kept his mouth shut as well. Ammy was whispering to Kryptos "Do...you know what just happened?"
The compass shrugged with a sad frown. Xanthar simply pressed himself close to me and let out 'comfort' for me to feed on. Pyronica sighed in frustration. "Hey Bill?" She asks.
"What's up?" I chirped.
"I'm gonna head out for a bit."
"Ok. Be safe out there." I responded as I started rolling the dough into little balls. I'm gonna make mochi. It'll be something new for everyone to try. Should I use strawberry filling or honey?
She heads off with an air of 'determination' around her.
Teeth shuffled out to go watch TV, uncomfortable with the tension. Hectorgon went back to his room to sort through the information he received at the casino. Kryptos took Ammy with him when they left. Xanthar stayed to continue rubbing his face against me. I worked quietly aside from my humming.
After a while I slumped over and sighed. "I'm a mess..." I wasn't as good at lying to myself as I thought I was. I felt Xanthar let out an emotion that I could only describe as ' No shit you idiot' and I laughed lightly. "What do I do? I can't...take this anymore..." Trying to forget really didn't help. Not when everyone could tell I was upset. There were two possible scenarios here.
1. I had been secretly manipulating my friends to like me.
2. For some weird reason, they really DID like me.
I brought a hand up to caress Xanthar. I know that he cared for me. For real. I know this for sure. His mind was too...abstract for me to properly manipulate after all. Even if I tried to go in and mess around, I wouldn't be able to. Not unless I was purposely trying. I knew I wouldn't be able to mess with his mind subconsciously or by accident.
It was comforting to know.
I liked pressing my bricks against him. He was large and soft and it made me feel safe as long as he doesn't make any sudden movements. God I had so many issues. "You want me to talk about it don't you?" I asked as I buried my face into his. He nodded. "Do I have to?" I whined. He nodded again. "Uuugh~"
I turned back to the half finished mochi. "Can I finish cooking first?" Xanthar considered it before nodding. He felt rather 'amused'.
---
To say I was surprised when Pyronica stormed back to the house carrying a struggling Jheselbraum over her shoulder would be an understatement. I paused in the middle of serving the many multicolored rice treats and just stared at the women in shock.
"Unhand me you horrid savage!"
"Roni...why have you kidnapped my sister?"
Teeth and Kryptos both spit take the tea I had made. "That's your sister?!"
Jheselbraum frowns "Please stop introducing me like that. We have no familial relationship."
"Adopted sister." I clarified.
"Bill's being an idiot and I need your help to beat some sense into him." Pyronica tells Jheselbraum as she puts the Priestess down. Jheselbraum blinks her many eyes at the Cyclopian. Slowly a smile spreads across her face. "Oh. Well why didn't you just say so?"
The smile the two women gave each other made me nervous. "Why're you two smiling like that? It's weird. Jessie your face looks weird like that. Stop it."
"What has he done this time?" Jheselbraum asks, 3 of her eyes peering down at me. I make offended sounds.
"Started crying like a baby and refused to tell us what's wrong. I'm pretty sure he's over-thinking something stupid and just made himself upset. He does that a lot."
"Lies and slander!" I protest but Jheselbraum nods solemnly. "He does tend to do that. Long ago, back before he met you all, he would break into my room in the middle of the night, drunk and weeping about how everyone hates him. I confess I was never very sympathetic to his plight." She sighs. "I realize now that perhaps if I had given him more of my attention, he wouldn't be as broken as he is now."
Pyronica frowns. "Ok, so this goes back even further than I thought..." She crosses her arms with a huff. "I'm kind of annoyed that you knew this was happening and did nothing to help."
Jheselbraum sighed. She looked remorseful. "I am aware that I have failed in my duties. As the High Priestess of the Great One, I should be impartial, fair and kind to all who seek my help. Even if I do not like them."
"I'm perfectly fine!" I protest. Xanthar gives me an annoyed nudge. "Okay. I'm not fine. But I'm...functional."
""Hm..."" Pyronica and Jheselbraum both stared me down until I wilted. "No fair teaming up on meee~"
"Bill. We are going to sit and talk. You are going to tell us what is wrong." Jheselbraum states simply before settling herself down elegantly on one of the chairs. I find the image of her tall, noble form seated in my dining room to be quite the strange sight. A sort of cognitive dissonance of seeing her HERE in my house. "Huh...you don't match the decor..." I remark.
One of her eyes twitch and she takes a deep calming breath. "Bill. I am being serious right now. If you've gotten bad enough that your companion saw fit to kidnap me from my temple, it must be dire."
I look at Xanthar when he nudged me forward. Pyronica was standing beside Jheselbraum with her arms crossed. Kryptos glanced back and forth between all of us and looked like he really wanted to sneak out of the room. Pyronica noticed and growled at him. "Nope. We are all staying here until Bill tells us what's wrong. I'm sick of him running away from his issues."
"Do we really need to be here?" Hectorgon asks before whimpering at the glare Pyronica sent him. "Right, yes, we're all here for this. Definitely."
"Bill. Kindly inform me of what happened? I wasn't told much before I was abducted." Jheselbraum tilts her head down to look at me. I wonder briefly why all the women in my life were so tall. Pyronica, Jessie...even Queen towered over me...
Jheselbraum knew me well enough to tell when my attention wavers so she snaps her fingers in front of my face. "Bill. Focus." She says firmly.
"...It's...not that big of a deal..." I whined. I really didn't want to talk about this. If it turned out I really WAS forcing my friends to like me, they would hate me forever. I just know they would. Xanthar places his hand beside me and I hug it for comfort.
"Bill. When you are hurting, the people around you hurt as well. Your...friends...just want to help you. So please tell us what the problem is."
"...their desire to help is the problem..."
"How so?"
"..."
"Bill." Jheselbraum's voice is soft, I know that tone. It's the one she uses for her emotional trauma patients. "I'm certain it's not as big of a problem as you seem to believe it is."
"I just realized that what if...what if the only reason they care about me is because I forced them to?" I whisper. Jheselbraum blinks in confusion. "Do you threaten them with violence if they do not show you care? Do you keep them imprisoned until they comfort you?"
I shake my head. "That's not what I mean...like...my dominion is the Mind...what if I've caused everyone to like me? Subconsciously. Just...accidentally manipulating their emotions so that they like me the same way I like them?" I tremble, squeezing Jheselbraum's hand.
There's a sharp intake of breath from Pyronica. Teeth is tense. Hectorgon just looks confused. Kryptos is frowning. Ammy floats over and gently takes my other hand. "I don't see the problem." He says nonchalantly. "If you're making us like you the same way you like us, then you must really like us a lot. Otherwise, why would we care about you so much?"
I can feel everyone relax at his words. As plain as they were, it made sense to them. Teeth laughs. "Geez Bill. Is THAT what you were worried about? Well if how I feel is how you feel for me then you must think I'm the coolest guy ever!"
Pyronica laughs as well. "Really? Even if you 'accidentally' made us like you, I feel like you're the one giving more to us in this situation. The others all begin telling me that my worries were both unfounded and ridiculous.
Jheselbraum was solemn and serious as she stared into my eye. She knew my fears weren't entirely unfounded. She knew how powerful my mind was despite it's broken state. She's a powerful Telepath as well. If I ever tried to get into her mind, she would know. It's why she was so surprised when I never did such a thing. Even when I Looked deep into all the shrine maidens during the Ceremony I never invaded their minds. I brushed past them, scanning as much as I could without going inside. Jessie shivered because she felt me. It was one of the reasons she caught my interest.
"Please. Check for me." I beg as I gripped Jheselbraum's hand tightly. She nodded. I looked down at the table anxiously as I felt Jheselbraum turn her gaze onto Pyronica and Opened her Eyes. Pyronica just felt confused, unsure about what was happening right now. Jheselbraum gave a sigh after a few seconds.
"There is a tinge of your power there-" I let out a sob "-but it's nothing like what you feared." Jheselbraum assured me, rubbing my hand with her thumb softly. I look up at her with a wide eye. "It is merely a translation effect. Nothing to do with her emotions or memories." Jheselbraum smiles. "You can be at ease. This girl's feelings are entirely her own."
I slumped in relief. But it wasn't over yet. "And the others?" I asked. Jessie turns to Ammy and Opens her Eyes once more. With each of her evaluations and assurances that they were 'clear' I relaxed and felt the knot inside me loosen. Finally she had checked them all and gave me her final word that I had not 'forced' any of my friends to be my friend.
I start crying again, this time in relief. "Thank Ax...thank Ax I haven't done something so horrible..." I soaked Xanthar's fur with my tears. Ammy had his arms around me "There, there." He says in the way he's seen people do on TV.
"See Bill? Like I said. You're nice." Pyronica grins. She turns to Jheselbraum and gives her a serious look. "Thank you for helping me with this. Sorry for kidnappin' you. Emergency and all."
"Quite. Well I will be taking my leave before my people are forced to worry any more than they already are." Jheselbraum glides smoothly towards the teleporter. "Please refrain from kidnappings the next time you require my assistance." She says before tapping in her coordinates and warping away.
"So...that's your sister huh?" Teeth remarks.
"Adopted. Also, the fact that she doesn't entirely hate me is a secret. So keep quiet about our connection with each other. She has an important job that requires keeping up an act of indifference to me."
"...your family is weird Bill." Was Teeth's only response.
I shrugged as I wipe my tears. Now that this was over, I felt quite embarrassed for my...shameful, angsty behavior. Ugh...I could feel my bricks heating up just thinking about it.
I could tell Pyronica wanted to call me an idiot for worrying over nothing but Kryptos and Hectorgon both shake their heads at her and she sighs. Kryptos floats over to give me a smile. "So...you seriously thought we were only your friends because of mind control?"
"I didn't think it was possible for you guys to choose ME over your own families or species..." I mumbled.
"Well for once you were wrong." Kryptos jokes lightly.
"Of course we chose you Bill. You'd have done the same right?" Teeth grins.
"..."
Teeth looked worried. "You...would choose us right Bill?"
"Not much of a choice, seeing as my people are already extinct..." I grumble.
"Oh. Right..." Teeth says awkwardly. "Well if they weren't extinct you would choose us."
I scoffed. "My people can go burn again for all I care...there were only a handful of people I actually liked..."
"That's..." Teeth looked a little disturbed. "...a harsh way of putting it..."
"Aside from my brother and one acquaintance I had a crush on, I didn't particularly care about anyone else."
"I find that hard to believe. You're a very caring person Bill." Hectorgon remarks. He frowns. "What about your parents?"
"My father literally told me never to visit him again and tried to keep me away from my brother."
"....b-but you're their child! How could he do such a thing..." Hectorgon looked horrified that a father would say such a thing to their child.
"But you must have had some other family who loved you? What about your uncle Bill?" Teeth asks nervously.
"He was my Soul grunkle. My Soul family loved me. My Body family didn't." I carefully explained. Since we were doing personal Q&A I might as well gently explain the inconsistencies of my backstory.
"Your Soul what now?" Kryptos reeled back.
How do I put this...
"I had two sets of families who birthed and raised me. The parents of my Soul and the parents of my Body." It's not like they knew anything about my species, for all they know, this was perfectly normal.
Pyronica rubbed her head. "Explain? Please?"
"My Soul was born to loving parents. They weren't perfect and we didn't always get along but they loved me and my two younger sisters. And then my Soul was sent to be born into a Body." I patted my chest. "This body."
Pyronica nodded slowly. "Okay...your people are weird..." I shrug but don't confirm nor deny her interpretation. I looked down at my hands and continued. "The parents of my Body were nice at first. My mother cared for me and while I never saw my father much, I think he didn't mind me. But it all changed when they took me to the doctors and realized my Body was defective."
"Defective?" Kryptos asked, leaning in eagerly. He was very interested in learning more about me. They all were. I sighed. "I'm not gonna get into the boring technical terms but suffice to say, I was a freak of nature. I looked perfectly normal on the outside but my inner workings were...unusual would be the nicest way to put it. My childhood wasn't very pleasant."
"So why didn't you just return to your Soul family?" Teeth asked. I shook my head. "I couldn't. They exist in an entirely separate plane of reality. Once I was born into this body I lost them forever." I shrugged. "I spent 27 years with my Soul family and...maybe around the same amount in my new life in this body? Time didn't really exist in the 2nd Dimension so I'm not sure how long I actually lived there..."
Kryptos had a look of realization. "And your vision of the future with all of us? You saw that while you were still a Soul?" I nodded. He looked sympathetic. "And I bet you were looking forward to meeting us once you were born into a body huh? But in the end you didn't meet us for billions of years..."
He's technically not wrong. I just shrug again. "I mean...it worked out in the end right?"
"You mentioned a brother?" Hectorgon asks.
"My Soul had two younger sisters, though one of them used to be a brother. My Body had a younger brother. My Body parents set to work replacing me once they realized I wasn't what they wanted. Despite everything, I loved my brother. He was killed shortly before I destroyed my world." My hands trembled but I had to finish this. "You could say that my world was destroyed as a result of his death. I gained my Fire that day and I burned everything to the ground."
There was silence. Ammy hugged me closer. Teeth was fidgeting in his chair. "No offense Bill but that sounds metal as shit." I let out a bark of incredulous laughter. "Seriously man? That's what you got out of this?" I wasn't sure if I should feel offended.
"Sorry. It just sounds super cool if you don't think about the emotional trauma..." Teeth yelps when Pyronica gives him a light slap to the side. "Ow. Ok. I admit. I deserved that." I just laugh at how fucked up this was. Well despite Teeth finding the destruction of my homeworld 'cool' I felt better after confessing SOME of my backstory.
Also, my friends actually like me for me. Part of me still couldn't believe that. There must be some trick, some mistake. Why would they like me? Because I feed and clothe them? Was that literally all it took? Pyronica noticed my melancholy look and flicks my top corner. "Stop over thinking it Bill. You're here with us now. That's all the matters."
I guess she's right. I was exhausted from my emotional highs and lows. Plus I'm pretty sure I converted a lot of energy into creating tears. I wish I could sleep. I'll just have to settle for lying on top of Xanthar while he sleeps instead. We ate the mochi and went to bed. I curled up on top of Xanthar in the garden. "Good night Xan-Xan."
Tomorrow, we get to know Keyhole. Now that my friends knew about my 'vision of future friends' they'll probably try to help me find them all.
---