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So apparently some of Ammy's blocks had special properties. For one thing, they were detachable. Two of them link into each other, if you left one in one place, you can look through the other to see through it. You could also travel through them. I stuck my hand into a block and stared at my hand sticking out of the other block.
"Neat." I say as I wiggled my fingers.
"That tickles." Ammy shivers as I remove my hand. Well this was an interesting tidbit to learn. There was so much about Ammy I still didn't know, he was the ONLY one of his kind after all. I was excited to learn all I can. Not knowing something is a feeling I haven't had in so long.
So. Very. Long.
I shake myself out of the melancholy thoughts and start inspecting Ammy's other blocks. Not all of them had the 'portal' effect. Some of them didn't seem to do anything. The purple blocks only seemed to exist for the sake of having his arms/tendrils growing out of them.
His eyes can close and reopen on a different block. If his eye was on a block, you could no longer stick stuff through them. What worried me was the fact that he didn't seem to have any natural defenses or method of fighting to protect himself. His body looked pretty flimsy and came apart easily. I worried.
Xanthar is big. He's heavy and strong. If something happens I know he can at least defend himself long enough for me to come save him. Pyronica is quick and vicious in a fight. I don't have to worry for her too much. The only thing she has to watch out for is Federation officers and their advanced weaponry.
But Amorphous Shape doesn't seem capable of any sort of combat. It made me fret over his safety. Since my powers are what help him form his blocks, could I decide what abilities his blocks have? Could I give him something that he can use to protect himself?
Another thing to worry about is Ammy's complete lack of morals. To be fair to him, he is a young existence that formed from millions of screaming voices within a realm of chaotic nightmares and the fire that destroyed an entire dimension. I sat him down and gave him a long lecture about right and wrong. He didn't understand them on an empathetic level but he DID understand when I explained the concepts in a more practical way.
"Respect is important. Everyone should be treated with respect unless they prove themselves unworthy of it. I don't mean respect as in calling someone 'sir' or speaking to them with superfluous politeness, that's stupid. I mean that you think about their feelings and don't go out of your way to upset or hurt them."
"You and Pyronica insult each other constantly."
"That's different. We're friends, teasing and joking around is fine when its done for fun, we're not ACTUALLY trying to hurt each other. If I ever do something that hurts her, I apologize. Because I'll feel bad for upsetting her. And because an upset Pyronica is annoying to deal with."
"Ah. I see." Ammy understood how difficult it was to live with an upset Pyronica. So he could understand the need to be respectful towards her.
"It's the same for every one else you meet. General ground rules are to be respectful towards them. If they are incredibly rude towards you despite your efforts, then they have lost the right to receive your respect."
I know that's not the correct way to deal with this sort of thing but I don't give a flying fuck. I've had enough with people being rude to me and I wasn't going to spare the effort and energy needed to try and be the better man. I've tried being the better person, I've tried to turn the other cheek. I was sick of it. Why do I always have to be the one to step back? Why should I have to be the one to be patient and understanding with people who don't care about my feelings?
It was unfair and I was sick of it. I KNOW the world is unfair. I know that. But it doesn't mean I like it. It doesn't mean I can't just say "Fuck all y'alls" and just do what I want. I've stopped caring. My reputation was bad enough, so why should I go out of my way to try anymore?
"So if someone is rude to me even when I try to be nice, I'm free to be rude to them?" Ammy asks.
"Eh, try to keep it in moderation. If you just fly off the handle for every offense you'll just cause more problems."
"Like you do?" Ammy tilts a block as he stares at me.
"I have issues with my temper. It is a problem that I'm still working on. Please don't use me as an example of a healthy, rational being." I sigh.
"...so I shouldn't emulate Pyronica either?"
"Definitely not. She's an awful person and should not be allowed around polite company."
"Don't think I can't hear you!" Pyronica calls out from the other room.
"I know! It's why I'm saying it!" I shout back.
"You're a bitch Bill!"
"And you got arrested again just yesterday!"
"Fuck you Bill!"
"Ha! In your dreams!"
I turn back to Amorphous Shape and he's just watching me. "I don't think I will ever fully understand what Respect is..." He says blandly.
---
I haven't taken Xanthar with me during a summoning for a long time. Pyronica came to a few because she was curious about my 'job' and after watching a summoner ask me to bring their dead mother back to life, in which I explained the very specific rules that raising the dead entailed, Pyronica requested not to follow me to summonings anymore.
I guess watching me mold flesh back onto a skeleton made her queasy, though it might have also been due to the corpse screaming once it formed the lungs to do so. My summoner was horrified by the malformed work in progress lump. Look dude, reviving the long dead doesn't really work. I can rebuild the body based on the memories of her mother but the soul is long gone. All I can do is create a living shell that looks like her mother. I cannot create souls. That's the AXOLOTL'S specialty.
If someone dies recently, I can grab their soul before it vanishes and just, shove it back in. But I can't find a long dead soul. Chances are they've already been reincarnated. With a bit of work I could probably find who the reincarnation is but they're a different person now. It was pointless. I wonder if I should put down a clause for my summoning that says 'does not raise the dead or force people to fall in love'.
Back to the topic at hand, I asked Ammy if he would like to watch me work. He accepted and when I finally got another summoning, I took him with me when I teleported away. I was hoping it would be a light hearted job. It was weird, my summoners are always either desperate people who were terrified of me but needed my help, or idiots who don't seem to realize how dangerous I was and call me up for stupid requests.
I prefer the people who don't know who I am. Sure, they're a lot ruder since they don't know how easily I could tear their molecules apart if they happen to anger me, but their ignorance is kind of cute. Unfortunately, today's summon was not one of those.
"Bill Cipher..." The muscular alien drawled as he looked me up and down. "Funny, with your reputation I expected someone...larger..."
"Who are you calling so short he can ride ants into battle?!" I protest while waving my arms frantically.
My client (name, Hubart. Species, Manrilla. Profession, low-level thug working for Liu-Dag, a leader of the Direncor Triads.) just tilts his head in confusion. "What?"
"Just an inside joke, don't worry your fluffy little head about it. So what do you want Hubart?"
"How do you know my name?!" The Manrilla bristles warily. Amorphous Shape is floating quietly behind me, I don't think my client has even noticed him yet. "I know lots of things." I shrug. "Like how you're not the one who wants this Deal, your boss Liu-Dag is just too scared to summon me himself."
I twirled my cane in a way that looked casually relaxed but actually took me years of practice to get right. I used to accidentally fling my cane out randomly. Sometimes it would fly off into the distance and sometimes I hit someone with it, usually me. After hitting myself in the eye with my own cane twice I devoted some time towards just learning how spin it correctly. Yes, I have THAT much time on my hands for the purpose of wasting it.
"Oh right! Um..." Hubart pulls out a crumpled note from his pouch. "Boss said I need to ask you for....ah..." He tries to read the note, his furry face scrunched up in concentration. Oh boy, this was gonna be one of THOSE Deals. I've seen it before.
The person who wants the Deal doesn't want to experience any of my...quirky side effects, nor my demanded payments, so they send a sacrifice to make the Deal for them. I will admit it's a creative work around. I'm still waiting for someone to try building a remote controlled robot to negotiate a Deal over long distance. Now THAT would be interesting.
"...just...hand note...to Cipher when...he shows up..." Hubart read slowly. "Oh, that's much easier." He smiles at me, completely unaware he's nothing more than a sacrificial lamb delivering himself right before the wolf. I gesture with my hand and the note floats towards me.
Amorphous Shape is watching curiously. He's been doing some reading to learn more about the world and had asked about all the doomsday warnings he's found written about me. Poor thing was so confused at the descriptions of me being cruel and vicious when he's seen me spend days setting up the kitchen for a song and dance number while I'm cooking. He knows I'm powerful and dangerous, but he hasn't seen me truly angry yet. He hasn't seen how sadistic I can be.
Part of me doesn't want to show him, part of me wants Ammy to live in ignorance of the fact that I'm a horrible monster. But he was gonna find out someday anyway. May as well break it to him gently by showing him how I am while on my 'job'. Also, I can use this as another lesson on the twisted morality I've been trying to teach him.
I take the note. Part of me has already 'seen' what this was about but Hubart doesn't know the exact terms so neither do I. The note was really crumbled, ugh, I hate it when people just ball up a note instead of folding it. So irritating.
To the esteemed Bill Cipher, the terms of the Deal are as follows. The enemies of Liu-Dag will surrender themselves to him, in exchange, you will have the one who summoned you in payment. Do with him as you wish.
"Huh. Well what if I don't want him?" I sigh in annoyance. Well, my Deals aren't pen and paper contracts. They are verbal agreements. So I'm going to need Hubart to say it to me himself. There's a reason I went for spoken Deals rather than written ones. So people can't pull this bullshit with me.
"So Hubart. How do you feel about your boss?" I ask with a cheerfully friendly tone. I hand the note to Ammy so he could read it as I floated up to eye level with the tall Manrilla. Even as a 5 foot triangle I'm still shorter than most people. Should I make my default size larger? No, any bigger and I'll have trouble fitting through doorways. Curse my wide bottom side. It always makes me feel fat, even though I know that's not how it works.
"The Boss? He's okay I guess. He lets me smash stuff. I like smashing stuff." Hubart says in mild confusion at my question. "So are you going to grant the Boss's wish?"
"I grant Deals, not wishes. There's a huge difference. Wishes are given for free, do I look like some charity case? I expect something in return for my services."
"Well the Boss can pay you. He's got a lot of money." Hubart says obliviously. Too dumb to realize he's been throw away? Or too trusting? "Oh Liu-Liu hasn't offered me anything as paltry as MONEY for this Deal." I flick my bowtie absently.
"Now I have read the note, sadly my Deals don't work unless you say it out loud. So I'm going to tell you the terms your boss wrote out, and you say them out loud. Can you do that for me?"
Hubart nods. So trusting. So much faith in his leader. I can see it in his head. Liu-Dag promising him rewards and praise for volunteering to do this. A gentle smile even as he handed Hubart the note that would make him an offering to the dark god Liu-Dag wants him to summon.
"So, just repeat after me. The enemies of Liu-Dag will surrender themselves before him..."
"The enemies of Liu-Dag will surrender themselves before him." Hubart repeats diligently.
"And in exchange..."
"And in exchange."
"The summoner, Hubart, will be given to Bill Cipher as payment. To do with as he sees fit."
"The summoner, Hubart will be...hey wait! What?!"
"It's what the note says." I say with a shrug. Ammy nods and hands the note back to Hubart, who's starting to look upset. "Yeah, the note clearly says that." Ammy confirms.
Hubart grabs the note and squints his beady little eyes at it. I see his mouth move as he slowly reads out the message. I can see the exact moment when he realizes he's been betrayed. The note rips under his tight grip and he's shaking. "What?!" He growls.
"Oh? You don't get it? Your dear boss wants to give you up as payment for this Deal. Personally, I'm angry too. ONE toy in exchange for ALL of Liu-boy's enemies? Doesn't sound fair at ALL." I gasp dramatically, looking quite offended.
"I do not want to be your slave-toy!" Hubart says angrily.
"Well, that was the Deal your boss wanted. Now hurry up and say the rest of the sentence so we can get this done already." I tap my foot impatiently.
"No! Change of plans! New deal! I become boss and HE becomes your slave!" Hubart shouts angrily, impulsively. My smile turns malicious. "Oooh~I can do that." I rumble with sadistic joy. My hand is covered in blue fire as I reach out to him. "You become your boss and your boss will become mine to do with as I see fit. Do we have a Deal?"
He takes my hand almost before I even finish speaking. The fire flares up and I hold back an ecstatic moan at the sheer pleasure coursing through my bricks, its been a while since I've had a Deal that managed to hit that sweet spot inside me. Something that can satisfy that craving I have for cruel chaos. My power swells and I laugh as reality twists before me. My bricks pulse a blinding flash of light.
As the light fades and I'm left reeling in the aftermath of what feels like a cosmic orgasm, 'Hubart' is blinking spots out of his eyes in confusion. "What? Where am I?" He rubs his eyes and looks startled at his hairy arms. I watch his confusion quietly, still pulling myself together after my power surge. Shit that felt nice, a gal could get addicted to that feeling.
"Hello Liu-Dag." I greet him cheerfully. He looks at me, his vision finally clear, and pales. "Bill Cipher."
"What IS it with people just saying my name? It's like they can't think of anything witty and think my name constitutes a whole sentence." I complain to Ammy as he stares in fascination at 'Hubart' who was now beginning to panic as he feels himself up and twists around to look at his own body.
"What's going on?! Why am I-?!"
"Ah well, dear little Hubart didn't like the terms you wrote out so he made his own Deal with me." I explain simply. Ammy has already caught on to what I did and looked quite impressed. "You switched them? How?" He asks me. "I didn't believe such a thing was possible."
"I'm a Master of the Mind. Switching them around is child's play." I gloat. I can't help it, despite my nonchalant behavior, it actually took years of practice to pull this feat off. You have to grab onto every part of someone's mind and soul and pull them out without killing them. I worked hard to get good enough to make the switch near instant AND appear effortless.
It's a good thing Deals granted me a power boost. Warping reality took a lot of energy. I keep this fact a tightly guarded secret but Deals that effect Time and Space, such as pulling the minds of two people out of their bodies and swapping them over a long distance in a short amount of time, take massive amounts of power to pull off. Not enough to tire me out but I'd probably only be able to do 5 Deals of that nature in a row before I had to rest and recharge.
"What have you done?!" Liu-Dag screams as he rubs at his hairy muscular arms. He's clearly distressed by his sudden change in species. "Well you see, Hubart decided he wanted to take your place and have YOU be my payment." I nudge Ammy with an elbow. "I guess we have a toy now. Do you think he can be taught to do chores?"
"Wouldn't slave be a more appropriate term? Toy implies he would have fun, or a choice in the matter."
"I don't really like the idea of owning a slave, too many bad connotations...oh! How about Minion? That sounds better."
"Minion seems appropriate. Though, I have to ask. If this creature is considered a minion, what am I to you? What are the others to you?"
"You, Xanthar and Pyronica are my friends."
"Why are we your friends? What have we done to receive such an honor? I know you received Xanthar as payment for a Deal, much like this man here, so what makes this different?"
"Well...I asked for Xanthar because I wanted him, I wanted to take him away from his abusive owner. Liu-boy is mine as punishment for trying to cheat me. I don't actually want him. I'm just taking him."
"And what of Pyronica or myself?"
"Pyronica is fun to be around. I wanted to be friends and she went out of her way to make it Official. You though...you were created by me, therefore you're my responsibility."
"And yet, you are kind and fair to me. Despite the fact that you technically own me, you do not think of me as a minion like you do him?" Amorphous Shape continued to ask. "I simply cannot understand what the difference is, between him, Xanthar and I. What makes someone a Friend as opposed to a Minion or Toy?"
"I guess...it would be how much I like them." We were both just ignoring Liu-Dag as he rages about Hubart's betrayal and swears vengeance upon "that ungrateful idiotic ape."
"So you liked me? Even when you knew nothing about me?"
"I wasn't sure how to feel about you at first. But I gave you some time around the rest of us and you fit in well. Xanthar likes you. Pyronica likes you. And I like you. Therefore we are friends."
"Is it really that simple? Then if you start to like that man, will he also become our friend?"
I haven't thought about that. "Perhaps. It will depend on whether or not we enjoy his company." From what I've 'seen' so far, such a thing was unlikely. "Regardless, according to my Deal, I am free to do with him as I wish. So, do you want to head back to base?"
Ammy looks at my newest acquisition and nods. "I am curious to know how he fares living together with us. If his current behavior is any indication, he will not last long."
I don't disagree and with a wave of my hand we blink away back to the house.
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