Elena just stared at him, not speaking at all. Roderick only smiled slightly, not minding her attitude one bit. He went out only to come back a few minutes later, two nurses following behind him, carrying a lunchbox each.
There was a round table in the middle of the room where the nurses arranged the food in the lunchboxes and left immediately.
Roderick went to Elena and said softly, "You should eat something. You must be hungry after a whole day of not eating anything."
Elena didn't move. She had no appetite whatsoever. Plus, her body felt too numb and heavy. She didn't think she could move just yet.
Roderick sighed seeing her lack of reaction and intention to respond to him. He went to her and picked her up as if she weighed nothing.
He then sat her down on the seat in front of the table in the room. He sat down beside her as well. Roderick looked at her with a tired expression but still smiled softly at her. Seeing how hard he was trying to make her feel better, Elena's gaze flickered slightly before returning to calm.
At this time, Elena realized that no matter what, she shouln't have lived her life totally dependent on a man. It was just that, when everyone died, she was shattered and never tried to pick herself up and piece herself back togther.
It was always Cameron doing it which made her miserable, living her life as if it belong to him and not her. Even then, Elena didn't regret trying to end it. She probably would have done so if Cameron hadn't come into the picture.
She felt like leaving this world was the best thing she could do when the pain was unbearable.
"If I succeeded in my attempt, would you have missed me?" Elena asked all of a sudden. Roderick also knew it was a decilate question which requires a decilate answer.
"Elena, this world is messed up. It's full of junk and so much garbage. Right now, you are stuck under a large pill of garbage. You can't dig your way out because the ground is like impenitrable metal. The only way out is to climb. Whenever you get tired you can let go but never completely. You have to keep climbing after resting for a whie. And this can olny be done by you and for me, I'll be there every step of the way. Because you are my wife, even if it's just in name and on paper, it is simply my duty." Roderick said seriously as if he had been waiting for the right time to say this.
Elena listened to his words and felt they made sense. But it didn't answer her question.
"That doesn't answer my question." She said with a raised brow. Roderick looked at her for a moment before asking seriously, "Do you want me to be completely honest?"
Elena hesitated for a moment before nodded silently.
"To be honest, I don't really know. I don't know you well enough to miss you but I also feel like I'll be sad for a while. Especially if you were to die while you were with me. That would make me sad for a while I guess."
Looking at him saying these words so sincerely, Elena smiled slightly. It was the first time she smiled since she woke up. Roderick saw this and felt relieved he answered properly.
He would indeed be sad if she were to die but he didn't know if he would miss her. But he said so because he wanted to give her a reason to live however, he didn't want it to be him.
He felt her previous mistake was living for someone else's sake and not for her own. So this time he was going to correct this. He would make her want to live but not for him or for anyone else, but for herself.
Lost in their own thoughts, they both started to eat. Elena didn't eat much though before stopping. Roderick glanced at her and sighed in his heart. He felt this was even harder than taking care of a three year old.
In the end, Roderick forced her to have a few more bites, before carrying her back to bed. She didn't take a bath before going to bed because she was still very drowsy and she didn't like the thought of others bathing her.
When she was placed on the large bed in the ward, she closed her eyes and fell asleep in less than ten minutes. Roderick sat beside her, exhaustion written all over his face and yet he still stayed awake, staring at Elena as she slept.
"I'm very tired too, Ellie. I also sometimes wish I could simply disappear from this world. But everyday I wake up, I look in the mirror and I'm glad that I continue to live. Do you know why?... Because everyday I endure this hellish place, I make someone's life better by offering them jobs. I make someone happier by selling my products and I make someone healthier by donating and constructing hospitals and other facilities. That's what keeps me going. You should also find something that would make you want to live. Something that makes you fulfilled and makes you feel like it's all worthwhile."
Roderick got up and left the room. He went directly to another hospital room to rest. He was extremely tired, having not slept enough and working besides taking care of Elena. He fell asleep not long after he laid down.
Meanwhile, in Elena's ward, the said Elena suddenly started to get restless in her sleep. Her fair forehead broke out in a cold sweat. She shook like a leaf on her hospital bed. Under her breath, she muttered and mumbled continuously.
Her breathing became more ragged and heavy, seemingly finding it difficult to breathe.
"Mom, Dad, bestie. Please, don't go again. Don't leave me alone anymore. I can't live anymore having lost everyone and thing...Mom, Dad, I give up. This was never the life wanted...Mom! Dad! pease, don't leave me here alone anymore.Please, at least take me with you...Dad!"
With this she sat up on the bed with a jerk. Tears rolled down her face and her breathing was erratic.