A candle trying to keep its flame, lighting up the darkness that stems from infinity, or even beyond. This is an analogy for what hope means.
Hope is an emotion in which stems deep within our subconsciousness, an innate feeling that all mortals have within our plane of existence.
So what?
What the fuck?
Rueben stared at the woman as terror filled his entire being.
Hope is an emotion-
Stop.
Hope-
Stop it.
Hope? Infront of these beings, you dare desire hope?
"How laughable." Rueben let out a chuckle as he stared at himself pinned on the floor, sitting down beside him as the entire scene played out.
"Its all futile." It was all futile.
After all, how can a mortal-, no, how could i fight against these beings?
Beings capable of using supernatural powers that is beyond what mortals could do.
"Useless." Rueben whispered underneath his breathe as he watched the entire scene.
Then he turned his head down.
"What will you do?"
Rueben looked up to see himself staring at him, asking him.
His eyes shook in fear, his entire being trembling, what can he do?
What will he do?
What kind of question was that? He was mortal to begin with-
"Mortal? Don't kid yourself."
"..."
Rueben stood up, glaring at Rueben.
"I told you, didn't i? You, no, we are not human."
"Annatella!"
"AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA"
Frotus screamed out as Annatella knelt down, holding her head as blood seeped out from her porcelain frame.
Countless scenes played inside her mind, over and over and over again. Each different, each a better or worst path, each a timeline of what could have been or what could never be.
"We are monsters, monsters unfit to wear the skin of a human. Murderers of their kind."
Gritting his teeth, Frotus stood up and ran forward, holding the wand to the woman as she let out a cackle. [It has come! My child!]
"Accept me. Throw away the humanity you stole, and maybe, we can get out of this situation."
"..."
"You know it deep down, we are-"
"Monsters. I know."
Rueben stared at him for a moment, before chuckling.
"Yes, we are monsters."
Gritting his teeth, Rueben pushed himself up.
"But still."
"..."
"I have humanity. Im sure of that."
"..Are you truly insane?"
"Yes, im sure of it. I have humanity, i know i have humanity. I am human."
"Why?"
"I AM HUMAN."
"...Hehe. Keep telling yourself that, asshole."
Then he looked forward.
"As if trying to convince yourself that could help us out of this situation."
Gritting his teeth, Rueben turned to look at his other self. What he seemed to think as an illusion, nay, a hallucination. He was hallucinating all of this.
Yes, maybe that was it.
He was hallucinating everything. Did he finally go blood drunk? Did he go mad? What kind of beast like features did he get when he turned into a beast?
Yeah, he was hallucinating everything. He's dead already.
Haha....
Ha...
Again.
Gritting his teeth, tears fell from his eyes.
Once more.
He couldn't do anything.
He resolved himself to always move forward, but he still hasn't taken a single step.
Pathetic.
That was correct he was pathetic. A useless piece of shit.
"Now you're putting yourself down."
"..."
"You think that will help us?"
"..."
"Insane bastard." Rueben chuckled.
Give up?
Can he give up? Should he? Would he?
Was this something he was supposed to come across? To overcome?
But how can he overcome this? This is beyond him now.
He had thought that beasts and monsters were the only problems, now there are these supernatural beings capable of using power beyond him.
Hope is an emotion.
Is it truly an emotion?
If it is, then how can it be an emotion. Hope.
"Go." A voice spoke inside him.
A familiar voice, that he had just heard a few moments ago.
Rueben turned his head to look at the light, before sighing.
"Go on. Break yourself down in your delusions."
"You can do it."
Rueben dissappeared, only leaving Rueben behind as he cried.
He hated his weakness, his inability to help, or even protect those close to him. He hated that he was not powerful enough, or that he was not smart enough. He hated that he couldn't use supernatural powers like them and fight against them.
He hated it all. His uselessness. Everything.
"You have to move forward."
Why?
Why should he move forward, for what reason?
"To never be stagnant."
So what if he was stagnant? Is being in a comfortable position bad?
"You will never grow."
Then how much growth does he still have to do until it all ends?
"Move. Always. One step at a time."
Lies.
All lies.
Everything is a lie!
...Including me.
I am a liar.
"..."
I...never hated my weaknesses.
I hated myself.
I hate myself.
I want to die. To get chopped to pieces, to bleed out and die.
"Move."
"..."
"Are you going to wallow in your delusions forever?"
Rueben looked up and saw Sara looking at him, her cold unresponsive eyes had light in them. Staring ar each other's soul for a moment, she gave him a light smile before she disappeared into Gwynne's body.
His eyes shook. Then he looked down and his fingers bleeding. His skin ruptured as if it was grinded down by sand paper.
Then he looked to the floor, the floor of the blood of his fingers, desperately crawling even if it broke itself in the process.
Tears flowing from his face. Then he stared at the woman, who was now standing infront of him. Behind her was Frotus and Annatella with their all their limbs cut off from their torso.
In a cross, their limbs were nailed to it while blood seeped out of the open wounds. Frotus stared at the ceiling while laughing, madly shouting that they had won while Annatella cried tears of gooey black liquid with a deadpan expression on her face.
The woman stared at him with crescent eyes.
She crouched down and gently grabbed Rueben's chin and forced him to look up to her while she looked down at him.
She stared at him for a moment before letting out a sigh. She patted his head and spoke.
[Your story has already been written. Even if i kill you here, "He" will just revive you regardless. After all, you are the protagonist of this abandoned, forsakened world that "He" carefully built.]
[A parasite stuck between the fingers of "Him". I hope you don't break immediately, child. Now witness the birth of my only child.]
Then she stood up and turned to Gwynne, who was shining with violet light, brightening up the entire area with UV rays.
The woman walked towards Gwynne, then turned to Rueben.
[A favor?] She muttered.
Then she shrugged her shoulders and a small figure appeared from behind her.
The small figure looked around for a moment, saw Rueben before immediately ran towards him.
The woman chuckled and lifted the gravitational push from Rueben's body. Rueben saw a familiar figure run towards him.
The little girl knelt down beside him and held his hands, the feeling of his smooth yet rough hands was warm. Rueben stared at her in horror and guilt.
Sara gave him a glance and smiled.
"We have to go, mister." Then she grabbed his hands and pulled him up.
His eyes shaking, Rueben was pushed by Sara into an area with cracked space.
"We should go here, this is connected to the outside world away from her Domain. We will go through this and exit the Domain."
"Wha-"
"We don't have any time. Please."
Rueben looked at her, then his head fell down.
"Why?"
With a deadpan expression, he asked.
"Why must i live through all this?"
"Why do i have to save all of you?"
"Why do i get to be broken down?"
"Why?"
"Why!?"
"..."
"Why... do you still protect me, even if its the cost of your life?"
Sara stared at him, then gave him a hug.
"We don't know how everything in this world works. Everything is fickle, fleetingly so." Then she forced him to stand up.
"The world is chaos. Nothing will make sense, nothing will go according to plan, nothing will always happen. We are put in this world without any warning, into this world filled with murderers of everything."
Then she wiped his tears off.
"But."
Rueben felt his hand being grabbed and then Sara started running.
"The only way we can make sense of this world is to move. To move forward, even for eternity."
Sara led him to a place, a dark place. She didn't say anything anymore and just continued to run with Rueben after her.
A long tunnel, a hallway filled with dilapidated furniture, walls rotting with the stench of dead insects permeating the air. A dark tunnel with no light.
Rueben looked at her small frame, fragile but firm.
He wondered, how can she still move? Even though everything bad has happened to her? That odds are stacked against her?
How can she still go on? Without breaking down?
How...
How can i be like her?
Immovable in will.
Soon, light started to rise down from the depths of the tunnel, a light that Rueben felt oh so familiar.
The outside world.
His... home.
Sara stopped just at the edge of the light, not letting it touch her. She stared at the light with longing, before she turned around and hugged Rueben deeply.
Sara gave him a smile.
"Hey, mister."
"..."
"I know fate is harsh on you. I know the moment you get out of this place, you will experience even more dangerous and mind breaking things. I know that you will suffer even more."
"...Sara.."
"But i want you to live. No. I like you to live."
"..."
"Live, not wallowing in tears, in despair."
"..."
"Live, mister. Even if its painful."
"..."
"..."
Rueben closed his eyes as tears fell.
Sara smiled and hugged him again.
"If you can't do that." She softly muttered.
"Then remember me." Her body grew even more.
"Before you go..."
She pulled her arms up to his face.
Her palm just a few inches away from his face.
"You were the only one who made me feel something that i haven't felt before, mister."
"...I."
"The feeling of having a father."
"..."
"I hope you felt the same for me."
"...Sara."
Rueben grabbed her hand, his voice choking up.
"Come with me."
"I can't."
"Please..."
"Im sorry. But i truly cannot, mister."
Then she grabbed his hands.
"I am already assimilated with your friend. Soon, after a few years, she would be able to grasp her own consciousness. My, our memories will be mixed and fused."
"...."
Rueben gritted his teeth.
"...Can i do it?"
Sara smiled.
"Of course you can. After all, you are the strongest person i have seen. You can face the world alone."
"..."
Then she let out tears, "If you can't, remember me. Remember our memories together. The memories we made that i hope would give you strength."
"..."
Rueben stared at her for a moment, his eyes bleeding. Then he hugged her.
"Im sorry, Sara. Im sorry."
"Its okay."
Sara hugged him back, then a small dagger stabbed through her chest. She looked down and then looked up.
"You..."
Her eyes, wet as tears started to flow.
"Im sorry that i can't be truly your father."
Then he took out the dagger he used to stab her chest before plunging it deep into his own.
"But i will carry you."
Sara's blood entered his. Soon the two mixed and fused together.
Sara smiled.
"Thank you. Mister. No, Father."
Then she pushed Rueben into the light while Rueben stared at her in shock, he tried to reach for her but his body was sucked into the light.
She touched her bleeding heart, and then to his heart which had her own blood. A piece of her.
She smiled, "Thank you, father. This is the best gift you can give me."
"SARA!"
Then the whole world turned into eclipse. Soon Rueben found himself in the sewers. A corpse of a child infront of him.
His heart beat once.
Familiar howls of beasts sounded out.
He was back.
Rueben stared at the void in shock.
He was back.
He knelt down and screamed, everything.
A small string appeared over his heart, a red string that connected to the void.
A string of karma.
The string rushed to the heart and punctured through the invisible barriers.
Rueben then became unconscious from all the stress and emotions he felt. One blow. All it took was one blow big enough.
To completely shatter the ice inside his heart.