It's really so hard to forgive myself.But, I have decided to accept fate.Let's just say I took a handful part in making it come true(shrugs)
Now,is the time to face the tide–reality.
'Yeah,while you get better, you'll be staying here till. . .cos I don't know your plans'. Mrs Davies said as she took me round the house.
'Oh,my...your house is so beautiful and big,do you live alone?What of your family'.I asked as my eyes gazed at the beauty of the house,the walls glittering gold,the tiles brightening white like glass with posh cushion chairs.It's all giving an aura of wealth.
'This woman must be so rich'.I thought.
Yes and no basically, I live alone as a loner(she smiled) and I have no family.There is more to tell about that but not today. I don't want to add to your pains'. She replied.
'Not at all ma'am, I'll also love to share your pains'. I replied.
I was beginning to love this woman. The love,the care,her concern and all she had done.
'She is just a perfect saviour.' I thought.
She opened the door to the room and requested if I would be okay to stay in.
The room was nicely structured with all the necessaries.It was way different from what used to be my room. The room was extravagantly furnished,so conducive. What else would I have wanted? I thought. Not like my room wasn't nice,this was just more spacious (for my posters) and more comfortable because Rhian and I shared the same room.
'Yes ma'am, it's okay'. I replied,then we sat on the bed.
'Let me tell you my story'. She said.
'I got married as early as age eighteen to the best man in the world(smiles). Getting to be with him was the best thing that ever happened to me. After much reluctance from my parents to allow me marry Eric,I eloped with my lover,Eric'.She paused.
'Hun..Hun'.She tried to clear her throat,smiled and continued.
I didn't know when I wore a smile on my face after so much grief.
'You know,when a teenager is in love, nothing else matters'.she smiled and I understood that smile.
'I was madly in love that I was ready to sacrifice my love for family,school and personal life.Eric was five years older than me. He was 23 and was fully established in business even at such a young age. Probably that exacerbated my love
They say, "Love +Money=100".I was ready to spend my all on him regardless. So,we eloped to another country Faraway from them.'
'Hmmmn...' I hummed.
I know it's so wrong, but I wouldn't see it as wrong then no matter how much people convinced me to. I felt it was the best for me.She replied.
'Let me make the story brief,so I don't bore you with tales'.She added.
'We got married and settled. We stuck together for years but as God would show his doings, I couldn't conceive. And for years,we kept hoping and praying,but I knew it were my parent's curse coming to pass'.
'Before I knew it,Eric began to change his attitude towards me.Sometimes,he could travel for months and not call until I wouldn't allow his phone rest with continuous calling. Thank God,I was already stable and funded in business,otherwise I would have become something else'.She said in regret.
She continued, 'Yet, I still didn't want to return home, I knew I had disappointed them.
He continued with that for months. Then an unfortunate thing happened,he was involved in a ghastly accident on his way back from a trip.I lost him finally,I lost everything. I had no children ,I lost my supposed lover and I lost my family.'she sobbed.
I could have remarried but I later discovered that I had been suffering from cervical cancer and would not be able to conceive,which I didn't realise all along. 'I hated myself'.She lamented.
As many as guys came to ask for my hand in marriage,because I was still very young and beautiful in my thirties,I couldn't bring myself to hurting them.'
Maybe,if I had not eloped or if I had waited for the consent of my parents, probably things wouldn't have gotten that bad.
I decided I would return home like a "prodigal" daughter and make things right.It's been 12 years since I left home,dad had died and it was just mum left. My siblings had also found their path in life.
Seeing mum,I was so devastated.She was battling with leg pain and couldn't say much. She hugged me tightly as I drew closer. I felt my mother's love again and I sought for forgiveness. We reunited and she blessed me.She died some months later despite all medical attempts. I lost her too,and I became lonely again.
I built my business and decided not to fall in love again and began to live alone. This is me.
I felt better seeing someone who had gone through the similar experience and still standing ,not shattered.
'I'm sorry for everything ma'am'. I replied and we hugged each other tightly.
Then she said silently to my ears, "Will you be my daughter?"
I smiled and said, ' I'll humbly be'
What else?
My hope had been revived.
'It's like God still has me in mind for real'. I thought as I reasoned and slept off.