"It's not here. "
"Here, either."
Scratching my head in frustration, I sat with my back to the bookcase, head resting on the bookcase while looking at the ceiling which had cobwebs.
"Gee, even in frustration I notice unimportant details."
Laughing to myself, I just think about what's happening to me, from the little information I have, I know that inside me the ancient blood is there how? I don't know, I don't even know who the parents of this body are, after all, I got this body back after the person before dying of starvation I was born a slave as you know, but it's much worse because when I got his body back I knew what starvation means.
When I was in the hospital I used to complain sometimes that I was still hungry, but now I realize what hunger means, it's a feeling of weakness, you have a sense of having no strength and no way to move.
And, that's one of the reasons why I want to become a witcher, that fear is always there even though I have Geralt, Triss, Ciri, Yen, and the others who are family to me, I'm afraid of, you know becoming the same as I was before, someone who lived at the expense of others, you know at night our brains are still working and in those moments our brains imagine all kinds of things like something that prevents me from fully expressing my feelings towards the people I know will be there for me.
That scene in my imagination was my mother and father complaining that they were tired of coming to see me and paying medical bills, although I know it's imagination and no parent would be able to say such a thing to their child, it stuck in my mind, because deep down I was afraid of depending on others again, that feeling of wanting to do for them, to show that we are not a burden, but someone we can lean on
"Damn, I promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore."
I wiped my eyes and then stood up, but at the same time the door opened and Vesemir walked in.
"Aiden, did you find him?"
"No, there's nothing on this sign."
"You know, don't be frustrated, after all our lives would be bleak if we knew everything about everything."
"Yes, surely, but although you and Triss tell me that."
"I want to know why I can produce ice cream! Why am I different ! "
I couldn't help but eject everything I kept to myself about Vesemir, seeing the silence, I realized my mistake.
"Excuse me Vesemir, that was out of line. "
"No need to apologize, it's normal to feel frustrated when what you want is impossible to get."
"But do you know that you are not alone in this?"
Surprised by these words, I looked at Vesemir with surprise.
"How so?"
"As I think, you haven't thought about it."
"Think of Triss or Yen or all the witches and wizards, Don't they want to know how to get rid of this cursed spell that prevents them from having children."
"Countless wizards have tried everything, some have died, some have been crippled, but no answers.
"And you know another example much closer to home would be Ciri."
"Ciri?"
Yes, after all, isn't she just like you?"
"She would also want to know why she has these powers, why she can't use them, and especially why she has to suffer?"
Vesemir walks over to the desk and picks up the books that I had left on the table and he starts to put them away.
"Another thing, what's wrong with being different from others?"
"The problem is that you'll be left out by the others, right?"
"That's what you think, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"You know, Geralt, me and the others have all noticed your fear."
Hearing this, I started shaking slightly and lowed my head, as I didn't want to see Vesemir.
"You are afraid to be alone, aren't you?"
Seeing no answer, Vesemir asked the question again.
"Answer me. "
"Yes, I'm afraid, I don't want to go through this situation again."
"What situation?"
"I don't want to be different from others, because I'm afraid I'll be abandoned, I don't want to go back to that dark place anymore."
As I said these words, I felt like something was being released.
"Aiden, have you forgotten everything you've been through?"
"Huh?"
"You have Ciri who trains hard and hides her sadness and weakness just for you because she wants to be able to keep up with you."
"You've got Yen who, for some reason, is starting to get attached to you."
"You have me and Lambert and Eskel who treat you like a little brother, even though Lambert will never admit it."
"And you've got Geralt who behind his airs, cares and will protect you and cry with everything he has."
Vesemir laid his hand on my trembling shoulder.
"You and Ciri will do great things and maybe right now you will notice, but I'm sure you will be one of the pillars of the future with Ciri."
"And maybe you two haven't noticed, but since you arrived, you've changed us all, Geralt has opened up more, and just like Geralt, the others have changed"
"So Aiden, you are allowed to be afraid because it can be a strength, but never let the fear overwhelm you, and if one day that fear comes back in force, think of the memory, the moment of joy and you will notice that that fear does not exist."
As I recall these words, I remember my moments in the castle where Ciri and I played knight and princess, our moments at the festival, the sound of laughter and music, the moments with Geralt where he taught me the fighting style and sometimes showing fatherly airs towards me or Ciri.
Tears come on their own, and I crouch down with my head hidden between my legs.
"Aiden, when you get out of here I want to see you smiling and ready to face the future, but for now, enjoy this moment and empty everything out of you."
With these last words, Vesemir left the room and I finally broke down and emptied for the last time what was in my heart and my insecurities.
--------------------------------------
"Thank you Vesemir"
"Mmh Geralt, I thought it would be you"
"You know it's your job to go?"
"I know, but I don't feel ready, thanks again."
"You're welcome, I'll continue to watch over him as you do Geralt, but the next time he has a moment of weakness like this, it'll be with you in the meantime, I'll take care of the little devil."
Watching Vesemir leave, I rested on the wall to watch Aiden who was still crying
"I promise Vesemir, next time I will."
(A small sentimental moment after the fight again)
(Also, I've seen people complain about too much crying, but you forget that he's been in his whole life in the hospital, and don't forget that a character has to grow with the story, If I make Aiden a charismatic and confident guy, it's no use)
(Also, if you have any sites or things to advise me about mistakes, please let me know in this paragraph)