"It's not here."
"Not here either."
I scratched my head in frustration before sitting down with my back against the bookshelf. I tilted my head back, staring at the ceiling covered in cobwebs.
[Great, even when I'm frustrated, I notice completely useless details.]
A bitter laugh escaped me. Deep down, I couldn't stop thinking about my situation. With the little information I had, one thing was clear: Elder Blood flowed through my veins. How? I had no idea. I didn't even know who the parents of this body were. After all, I had ended up here after taking over a body that had been abandoned by life, starved to death.
I was born a slave, as you might know. But it was far worse than I had imagined. By inhabiting this body, I had discovered what true hunger was.
When I was in the hospital, I used to complain about still feeling hungry sometimes. But that was nothing compared to this. True hunger empties you. It leaves you weak, hopeless. It paralyzes you, making you unable to move.
It's one of the reasons why I want to become a witcher. Even though I've found a family with Geralt, Triss, Ciri, Yen, and the others, that fear is always there, lurking in the corner of my mind. An irrational fear, maybe, but it haunts me.
And then there are those nights when your brain keeps working, when the worst scenarios force their way into your thoughts. In my nightmares, my parents complained about having to pay my medical bills. They said they were tired of me, of my weakness. I know it's just my imagination, that no parent would ever say something like that to their child. But that invented memory has stayed with me.
[I want to prove that I'm not a burden. I want to be someone people can rely on.]
I felt my eyes begin to well up and promised myself I wouldn't cry. I stood up, quickly wiping my cheeks. But just then, the door opened, and Vesemir walked in.
"Aiden, have you found anything?" he asked.
"No, there's nothing about this sign," I replied, turning my gaze away.
He nodded, then said calmly, "Don't let it frustrate you too much. Life would be quite dull if we had all the answers."
"Maybe," I sighed. "But… why do you and Triss always tell me that? I want to understand! Why can I produce ice? Why am I different?"
The words spilled out of me, louder than I intended. Seeing Vesemir's silence, I realized I had gone too far.
"I'm sorry, Vesemir. I didn't mean to…"
"No need to apologize, Aiden," he interrupted softly. "It's normal to feel frustrated when what you're searching for seems out of reach."
He paused, then added, "But do you know you're not the only one who feels that way?"
I looked up at him, surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Think about Triss, Yen, and all the other sorcerers and sorceresses. Don't you think they also want to understand how to break the curse that prevents them from having children? So many have tried everything, sometimes at the cost of their lives, only to find no answer. And Ciri…"
"Ciri?" I repeated, intrigued.
"She's like you, Aiden. She wants to understand why she has these powers, why she can't always control them, and most of all, why she has to suffer."
Vesemir walked over, picked up the books I had left on the table, and began putting them away.
"Tell me, what's so bad about being different?" he asked, glancing at me.
"People reject you. They abandon you," I murmured.
"Is that really what you believe?"
I lowered my head, unable to answer.
"You're afraid of being alone, aren't you?" he asked, his voice gentle but firm.
After a moment of silence, I whispered, "Yes… I don't want to relive that. I don't want to go back to that dark place."
Vesemir placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"Aiden, look around you. Triss treats you like her own son. Ciri trains hard because she wants to keep up with you. Yen, for reasons I still don't understand, has grown attached to you. Lambert, Eskel, and I see you as a brother, even if Lambert would never admit it. And Geralt… Geralt protects you and Ciri like no one else ever could."
I felt a weight lift from my chest. Memories came flooding back: Ciri and I playing knights and princesses, the laughter during festivals, Geralt showing me how to wield a sword.
"You're not alone, Aiden. You never have been. And even if you're scared, know that fear can be a strength. If it overwhelms you, remind yourself of these moments, these memories. They're your light in the darkness."
His words resonated within me, and before I could stop them, tears began to flow. I crouched down, hiding my face between my arms.
"When you leave this room," Vesemir continued as he walked toward the door, "I want to see you smiling and ready to face the future. But for now, take this moment. Let it all out."
He left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts and my tears.
--------------------------------------
"Thank you, Vesemir."
"Mmh, Geralt. I figured it would be you."
"You know you were supposed to go, right?"
"I know... but I don't feel ready. Thanks again."
Vesemir sighed lightly, then replied in his calm but firm tone, "You're welcome. I'll keep watching over him, just as you do, Geralt. But next time he has a moment of weakness like this, it'll be on you. For now, I'll take care of the little devil."
I watched him walk away, his figure disappearing down the corridor. Leaning back against the wall, I crossed my arms, my gaze falling on Aiden, who was still quietly crying.
"I promise you, Vesemir," I murmured. "Next time, I'll be there for him."
(A small sentimental moment after the fight again)
(Also, I've seen people complain about too much crying, but you forget that he's been in his whole life in the hospital, and don't forget that a character has to grow with the story, If I make Aiden a charismatic and confident guy, it's no use)
(Also, if you have any sites or things to advise me about mistakes, please let me know in this paragraph)