CHAPTER ELEVEN HEARTBROKEN
I really can't believe this, I have to stay away from Lucien because I am something, I did not ask for or know about, I pick my hair brush and threw it with so much strength, it flew and shattered the mirror in my room.
But why do the thoughts of staying away from Lucien freaking me out so much, it like trying not to breathe, I really don't know how I completely fell for him in just a matter of just a week and it like we know each other since before we were born, that if it makes sense.
I really don't think I can do it. I thought as I kept pacing around like a caged animal, well caged animal really do fit my profile right now, I am part wolf and also caged by my identity that I don't have a free will anymore. So I would say I am a caged animal.
I really don't know if I can break up with him, but at the same time I don't want him to find out what I am, so he won't be afraid of me. Like how do you tell a human being that his girlfriend is not human but a werewolf, descended from the goddess of the moon who is a daughter to a god and also an ancient witch. Hilarious right.
I will just have to avoid him for awhile, till I decide what to do, either continue this relationship despite knowing there is going to be consequences, or I will tell him about it and if maybe he won't mind that I will one day turn into a creature, but I am still very much human, besides my grandmother is human and she knows about the supernatural world and she is so okay with it, it's shows because she took care or me as her own not as a stranger creature, she always tell me I am special and it is a good thing, or should I continue and keep the fact about what am I from him, hoping he won't find out, Damn! I am so confused.
Today is Saturday, I can avoid him till Monday because of I will have to see him in school. I signed.
Why did my life have to get complicated?
My grandma said I was left abandoned at her doorstep bloodied and she thinks there is a dark mystery surrounding it, was is it actually my parents that abandoned me?
They must be werewolves if I am one. Then why would they willingly abandon me on the doorstep of a human, that may have taken me to the police, then to the orphanage, probably discover I am different because my eyes is a total give away, and they decide to experiment, or I go into transition, and was taken to the hospital who discovers something is absolutely wrong with me.
Is that why grandma never take me to the hospital instead she treats me herself? And besides I never actually fell sick only once when I was still little, it was like I was on the verge of death and grandma refuse to take me to the hospital, I remember she and Mrs. Jackson were the ones who took care of me till I got better.
Now something that I never understand make sense now.
It is Monday already, throughout the weekend I kept seeing the silver wolf in my dream, looking at me with sad eyes, I don't know what it means, Is that my mother, when she is in werewolf form, I did a lot of research on werewolves, found out they look like regular wolves only bigger.
I researched if there are risks on a werewolf being with a human, but the only one I found is biting a human in werewolf form infect the human with the virus, then go into transition and turn a wolf and not everyone survives it, I am not a werewolf yet and I don't plan on biting Lucien so I decided to continue with the relationship, damn the consequences, I will keep what am l a secret for now then later I would tell Lucien then it will be his choice to either go on or cut it off, I will have to give our relationship a fighting chance.
Avoiding Lucien during the weekend was very easy, I didn't see him at all like he knew I wanted to avoid him and he is saving me the trouble, but according to Daniel he was suddenly needed to represent the family at the city for some important business, so he went instead of his father. I believed him, but it was weird that he did not call me at all.
I am sure he has an explanation.
Lucien is still not back from wherever he went as, he wasn't in school neither was Daniel, Nicolette or Freya. I don't know what is happening but I have been trying to reach him in case he is angry that I didn't call at all, but Lucien is not childish, in fact he acts very matured for his age.
It was on everyone's lips today that the four rulers of the schools were not in school together, according to Linda and Janet at least one of them is always in school, they have never been absently together. Maybe they will be in school tomorrow I thought.
It's Tuesday morning, I called Lucien throughout yesterday and at night also, it say switch off I don't know what to think anymore, I couldn't even sleep, I look like a zombie. I hope he will be in school, he will explain what happened.
When I got to school I was instantly on the look out for him, but I only saw Nicolette and Freya who avoided me no matter I try to talk to them, they turn deaf ears. Nicolette looks at me with so much anger while Freya looks at me with triumph.
I think I should go look him at his house today, I will go after school, I spent the rest of day hoping the day move faster. After the last class I was quick to pick my bag and rush to my car to drive to the Throne's mansion.
When I got there, I wasn't allowed entrance by the security, saying it is the young miss order.
I don't know why Nicolette is trying to stop me from seeing him.
What happened to Lucien?
Where is he? Why is he not in school?
Is he avoiding me because of what he witness in my bedroom the other day?
Does he wants to break up with me?
Then why does he not come out like a man and do it in a decent way instead of tormenting me? When I got to the diner I asked Mrs. Jackson if she knows about his whereabouts but she said no.
But she is his god mother why doesn't she know. The people who knows are not ready to tell me anything.
Janet and Linda came for a girls night at my house because they felt needed to cheer me up, they came up with many theories of what happened just to make me feel better. I hope at least one of their theories is correct.
Today is Wednesday, I don't have same faith as I did on Monday, I got to school with little hope and I saw Lucien I was very excited and happy to see him, I scan him for injuries but he looks very fine to me.
I smiled widely at him as his eyes lit up to see me, I was walking to him, when Freya passed me, hugs Lucien, and he returns the hug and kiss her on her lips like they were lovers after kissing her, he whispers something to her and she laughs loudly about it like he told her a joke.
I realize I am the object of the joke, his eyes lit up to see her not me, I was played big time, now my heart is breaking, no! weeping at my foolishness, I felt Linda and Janet presence behind me, they were also surprised because I heard they surprise gasp.
Everyone seems to be looking, pointing at me, laughing at my foolishness, I refuse to embarrass myself any further or I swallowed my hurt and put on a mask that it doesn't affect me, with my head up high I walk away pretending I did not see the look of triumph in Freya eyes, pretending that Lucien has not only stolen my heart but also shattered it.