The day I learnt I was a demon was the worst day of my life. I won't lie. I spent most
the day terrified of dying, or losing a limb.
The first thing I heard, and thought about when I woke that morning was of
demons. A were-cat scream echoed for a beat, before an answering scream, higher in
pitch called in the distance. It sounded like the packs were fighting; a territorial
dispute most likely. There was a Pride not too far from the Temple. A muffled shriek
drifted up through the floorboards, and I rolled my eyes when it happened on the next
scream. I buried my head under the pillow, pulling my blanket up. New Disciple's
thought the world was ending every time a demon passed nearby. It took them long to
understand, if the Wall was breached the klaxon went off to warn us.
I rolled out of bed, tripped over the mountains of fabric and crushed cans that
littered the floor of my room, and head butted the wardrobe door. It bounced back.
Clothes flung over the top and spilling out the bottom had stopped it from clicking
shut. I was not a dirty person, but a messy one. I was the kind of person who could
make mess in an empty four by ten box. Stood in my fraying bra and panties, I
groggily scratched at my knee, trying to pull myself together. It took a lot of
rummaging around before I pulled on my ragged jeans and faded tee shirt, some pre
Rupture band on the front. Not the best gear for running, but I was going to have to go
straight to class afterwards. I put my boots on and headed outside.
It was dark. Dawn was hours away, and the grounds were eerily quiet. Fire
drums set alongside the pathway flickered, and weak flames cast a sick flush over the
cold ground. Electricity was hard to generate, so the Sect cut corners where it could.
Resources during the day, and after dark, focused on Wall hotspots, places difficult
for the Clerics to easily defend, like steep ravines and cliff faces. These were the
places demons too often breached. My eyes skipped over the Temple grounds, and
every graffiti wall, battered trashcan was colored fondly in my mind's eye. The
Temple was an army base, before the Rupture, but now it was the stomping ground of
the Sect Clerics and their Disciples. It was home. Safety. My eyes settled on the Wall
in the near distance, peeking out from the forest bordering the region. Past that
electric fence was Outside. Past that fence roamed the demons.
I started at a jog. In no time I was at the main gate whistling to the security
guard who barely looked up from his book. I wondered where he'd gotten that. Books
made purely for entertainment were as rare as plain paper. The Sect had a library of
course, right here at Temple, but you had to have serious pull with the Priests to be
able to rent one. We lucky Disciples got to feel the smooth pages of a book on a
regular basis, even if they were educational, and my envy was brief. The guard caught
me eyeing up the pages and placed it on his lap. He waved me on as the gate cracked
to let me out.
Leaving Temple, I was soon on a wide and flat lane gravitating toward the
forest. I reached the Wall and stared at it. Each time I came here I asked myself the
same question; was defying Sect Doctrine and stepping past this point worth it? The
excited thump of my heart told me the answer. I glanced behind to scan the roadside
and check I was not in sight. Confident I was alone; I slid through the sliver of space
between the charged wires then held my breath for a beat. There was nothing but
silence. I had no idea how I'd done it, but one morning I was tired of plodding the
same ground, and I'd looked out into the forest with its thick tree trunks, jutting roots,
and seen a thrilling new route to push myself harder and faster. I had stood, and stared
at the webbing of steel then wished for a hole to climb through. The wires had just
unraveled without setting off the klaxon. I remembered thinking with a horrible kind
of panic that I had somehow done witchcraft, and was convinced I was the blackest
kind of evil. Then I realized how ridiculous I was being, and figured it was a
coincidental gift from the universe, or something. Now every morning I had a new
obstacle course to enjoy.
The trees were tall, and the air was fresh and clean and free. I ran, racing the
beat of my own footfalls. Cold wind whipped past pushing hair into my face. Gods,
how I loved to run and revel in the illusion of freedom it gave. I was the fastest
Disciple at the Temple, and the best at cross-country; it took a lot to tire me out. I ran
until the forest became too dense for me to sprint without tripping over roots. My
chest rising and falling was a pleasant feeling I rarely got to experience, and only
could experience when I ran Outside. Pushing at the long and dark tangle of my hair, I
wished there was less of it. I snapped off a knobby twig from a shrub at my heel and
pulled it back into a messy bun, using the twig to pin it there. I was distracted, and
only because a raven boldly cutting past drew my attention from the task of managing
my hair, did I see a movement at the corner of my eye.
A figure strode away from me up a leafy incline, into the light side of the
daybreak.
"Hai?" I called my voice low.
The retreating shape paused, only to dart deeper into the gloom. Cresting the
slope it winked out of sight. I ran after it. It seemed like the thing to do at the time.
Skidding to a stop at the slope summit, I let out a surprised grunt. I could see down
and far out into the forest. There was nobody down there, nothing but more trees. Fear
whispered in my ear no humans are supposed to be Outside, but I shook it off. Such a
thing was surely nothing but my imagination. No demon would be this close to the
Temple. It would be like a human who wanted to live a long life doing a jig with their
eyes closed on the edge of a cliff.
Then I saw it again. The shadowed figure was there when I turned around, but
was at the bottom of the slope. My feet skipped back then there was no more floor.
I remembered the same time my head moved to where my feet had been, that I'd been
standing on the apex of a steep and high slope. I went down. I tumbled backward and
ended up rolling and rolling. The world churned around me, but leveled out abruptly
as I crashed into the base of a tree at the slopes underside.
My arse was up in the air and my shins mashed against my forehead. Oh gods it
hurt. I rocked my body until I fell onto my side, and pulled my legs back to curl them
under me. I breathed in and out slowly, mentally checking myself over. Nothing felt
broken. I sat up and stretched it out. No, nothing was broken. The pendant I wore
around my neck pressed into my collarbone awkwardly. I fiddled with it until it hung
properly, and the leather cord was no longer choking me.
I stood and rubbed at my head, then tried to get my bearings.
The slope was too steep to climb back up and I wasn't much into rock climbing.
Like most people I was reasonably tolerable of heights, up to a certain point and
tolerable with deep water, up to a certain point. And even agreeable with confined
spaces. Up to a certain point. Heights especially high were a stickler with me, despite
my love of the things you could do when you were especially high. I had a way of
pretending the floor was much closer than it truly was. Nevertheless, the slope was
too high to pretend, so I was either going left or right. Determined to stay calm, I
ignored the first curls of fear in my stomach. I hadn't explored this far out into the
forest yet and based on how long I had run for, I was at least ten miles from the Wall.
I was not worried about the time; I could still get back for breakfast and with enough time to walk to class with Alex. Looking to the east the sky was lightening to blue,
but the sunrise was always painfully slow. Classes did not start until the sun was in
the sky.