"N-no... no... nooo... no no no. No. No no no! No! NO! NOooOooOOOo! NoOoOOo... NO NO! Why did you do that God? Whyyyyyyy!? Wh-what did I do to ever deserve this!?" I screamed my anguish out loud.
"I'm sorry," God apologized. "Everything is for the greater good."
"Greater good? Fuck the greater good! Bring them back," I said, falling down to my knees. "...Bring them back, please."
"That's not possible."
"Why... why not?" I asked, all the strength in my body leaving.
He didn't answer my question. God just told me, "Good luck."
I knew that meant he was going to respond to me until he felt like it again.
Selfish. You come in, tell me that my wife, my friends, my family... they're all gone. Then you leave me in anguish until you feel like responding to my calls. W-why?
Getting up from the floor, I picked up the family portrait I had on my nightstand. It was supposed to be when I was a baby with my parents.
Looking at the picture in the frame, the only person there was me.
Opening my phone with the same 6-digit code I used for everything, I went through my contacts and saw that the only people in it were friends who weren't a part of the notebook.
"Th-they're really gone," I muttered as I sat down on my bed, looking down at the floor.
What do I do now? Is that why she asked me not to forget her and her sister? Is that why they were saying their farewell? Honey... how am I meant to see you again? You're gone.
I sat in silence for an hour, wallowing in my thoughts, my heart getting swallowed by the darkness, my eyes bouncing between tears and anger.
Getting up, I went to turn off the air conditioner in the room as it was getting cold.
"That's a lot better," I said, shaking the frost that had formed on my body.
Wiping my nose, I headed over to the window, pushing open the curtains to look out of it.
More moonlight entered my room, brightening it all up with this subtle white glow.
Opening the window pane, I poked my head out of it, staring out into the city I called home for so many years.
Look how populated this place is. It is so... peaceful.
Despite the clashing sounds of automobiles, flickering street lights, homeless people dumpster diving, the current of the river that split the city in half, husbands yelling at their wives, wives yelling at their husbands, young teenagers staying up late playing their video games — all of this was peaceful compared to the world in a few years' time.
Even silence during Doomsday was peaceless because danger could be crawling up behind you.
I used to hate how busy this city always was... but now, this hecticness is a breath of fresh air.
It was a million times better than complete silence other than the sound of lava splashing about.
"It'll take a while to get used to this. This feels so strange," I said about how short my sight was.
Used to be able to see thousands of miles away from where I was at all times, returning to regular human sight felt offputting.
"It's nice to see you again," I told the city I once called home, observing the constant motion that never seemed like it was going to stop; which it did.
Born and raised in this compact city, I had lived here for all of my childhood and teenage years; despite that, at the moment — it felt like I was a primitive foreigner who came from a rural town with no electricity and this was my first time seeing the bright lights that were visible from outer space.
"There's the playground," I chuckled.
Although it was dark, the illumination of the flickering lamp post allowed me to roughly make out the playground across from my window.
When I revisited this place a few years ago, all of it was rubble and the only trace of the past was a rusty piece of metal that I was able to recognize as the head of the plastic dinosaur that was just below the slide.
My mother would take me to this playground as a little boy and because it was nearby, I'd walk across it every morning whenever I headed to my bus stop.
...Mother.
If God hadn't been so cruel and erased her, I was going to go and save her. She was a part of the first wave of humans to turn into zombies.
Next to the playground was the basketball court where I would hoop as a kid with the big boys and get constantly cooked and dunked on.
When I got older though, I would play by myself, never wanting to join the others because I felt uncomfortable talking to strangers.
"It's been a while, my dear friend," I said with a smile, referring to the sticker of a ladybug that someone stuck onto the backboard of the basketball hoop.
It was visible from even where I was.
Looking off a little bit into the distance, I was able to spot the convenience store I went to at least once a week.
Although it was closed, the neon lights on the windows still had a slight glow.
Let me help that man fix his damn light so his electricity bill isn't so damn high every month.
I chuckled quietly, still lethargic from the revelation an hour ago.
Then I looked up, all the way up.
Despite the dozens of miles that separated me and the tallest skyscraper in the city, I was able to instantly recognize it with a mere glance because the figure had been engraved in my memories from all the late nights when I'd sit at the window in silence, staring off into the distance.
Seeing all of these familiar pictures and locations that had been pushed aside in my mind for so long, I couldn't help but tear up.
"It's been so long," I said, closing my eyes.
I didn't realize how much I missed this place.
Whispering to no one but myself, I repeated, "It's really fucking nice to see you again, New York."
What did God say? Any choice I make is the right one. Hahaha...
I clenched my teeth and fists.
Punching a hole into the window pane, my hand began to bleed.
"Any choice? What's the use? What's the use of coming back to the past in a world without my loved ones? The only people left are those that I hate, bastards that I should've never spared..."
I stared at the cuts on my knuckle, watching as the blood dripped to the floor.
"Any choice?" I began to laugh. "Let's see if you really mean what you said, God."
If there's no one left for me to be kind to then fuck kindness. I'll be the bad guy. I'll be the one that gets blood on my hand.
Cleaning the glass shards off my hand, I stared at the reflection in my mirror.
This wasn't the person I was used to seeing.
I'm skinny again.
All the years of the world forcing me to exercise, all the muscles I had defined on my body — they were all gone.
"Back to square one," I said while wrapping the cuts up with a bandage.
It was now almost morning and my phone rang.
Looking at who it was that was calling me, I rolled my eyes.
Of course, she wasn't erased from existence. I'd never write this bitch's name in my notebook even if I had a gun to my head.
It was my ex, Maelle Kensington — or rather, my current girlfriend as I had returned to the past.
I can't believe I really loved this whore.
If we were in Doomsday where the laws and morals were flipped on its head, I would've gone and beat her up with my bare hands or even killed her.
But this wasn't Doomsday — not yet.
I closed my eyes, came up with a plan to get my revenge, then answered the call.
"Good morning, baby," I said, washing the tip of my toothbrush with water.
"Morning babe. Just calling to remind you that we have a date in a few hours so you better not be late," she said.
Even her voice sounds like a bitch. Yuuugh.
"I'd never forget a date when it comes to you," I said in a sweet affectionate voice.
I began to brush my teeth as the two of us spoke on the phone. The conversation was so void of any real meaning that I didn't even need to remember anything about our relationship to keep her from getting suspicious.
Hanging up the phone, I dropped down to the floor and began doing push-ups.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.
.
.
.
"Baby," Maelle waved at me. "You're late."
"Really? I thought our date was at three. It's only 2:55 right now."
"Yes... but you're always earlier to our dates than me."
Then why do you need to call me and ask me not to be late?
She puckered her lips for a kiss, closing her eyes. Although I touched her lips with mine, I had my eyes open, staring at her like this twig I was ready to snap at any moment.
"Oh my god. Baby, I almost forgot. I saw this purse on my way here. It's sooooo pretty. Can you buy it for me, please?" she asked, giving me these puppy eyes that I wanted to pluck out of their sockets.
If only you knew just how much I want to kill you right now, Maelle. You'd run away but I don't want you to do that. No no no. I have bigger plans for you.
"Anything for you, baby. Come. Take me to the store. I'll get the purse for you," I said.
Maelle was two things.
One, a gold digger who only dated me because I came from a family that somewhat had money after my grandfather passed away and I inherited a large sum of it.
To be honest, I didn't know how my birth worked since my parents never existed but apparently, my grandfather's death was still a part of this rebooted world.
The other thing that Maelle was what broke my heart in the past.
She was a cheater. Not just any old regular cheater who made a mistake on a night when they were intoxicated but she was an avid cheater who'd been cheating on me since we began dating.
I was her boyfriend who was also her bank while she had five sex friends that she would frequently visit whenever we weren't together.
Nothing you say will get me to change my mind anymore, God. I'll be the fucking villain of this goddamn world!
Maelle was going to be my first victim.