Was it worth it... ( Bleach )

"Hi, Mom..."Ichigo Kurosaki stood silently at his mother's grave with his now red eyes, his hand trembling slightly as he clutched the familiar, worn substitute badge. The soft, golden light of the sun that had once bathed the tombstone began to fade as dark, heavy clouds gathered overhead, signaling the imminent arrival of rain."Sorry that I haven't been visiting recently..." he murmured, his voice catching in his throat. "With everything that's happened... it's just been hard to come here. I know it's no excuse, but... I've been... trying to figure things out."As he glanced down at his hand, or more precisely at what was in it—the worn substitute Shinigami badge.He started to talk, his voice low and hoarse, barely above a whisper, his words tumbling out as if they were drowning in a mix of nostalgia and... regret " Everything's changed so much, Mom... I don't even know where to start. It feels like a lifetime, but it was barely a year. I've faced more battles than I can count—against monsters, Hollows, Soul Reapers... even myself. "He paused, a forlorn look crossing his face as he remembered the battles fought and the enemies encountered. His mind drifted back to that moment in the Soul Society, facing the Soul Reapers who initially saw him as an intruder. Then there was the fight with Kenpachi Zaraki, a clash of swords and wills that tested him to his limits. And then not even a week later, fighting and beating Byakuya with his newly attained Bankai.But it wasn't just the physical battles. Ichigo's thoughts wandered to the psychological and emotional challenges—battles against his own inner demons, both the Hollow within him and the darkness of his own soul. "Even myself," he whispered again, his voice cracking with emotion. "There were times when I doubted everything—my power, my purpose, even who I was. "His mind subconsciously flashed back to when he was stabbed by the mirrored version of himself, how she grinned at him, bloodthirsty visible in her eyes."But... I overcame it," Ichigo continued, his voice gaining a hint of defiance. "I beat her, I beat everyone—Kenpachi, Byakuya, Jin, Ulquiorra. Each battle, each enemy, pushed me harder than I ever thought possible. And I survived. I adapted, and I grew stronger. But... it wasn't without cost." He looked down at the badge in his hand, the symbol of his power and the sacrifices he'd made to earn it." Every victory came with a price—losses, injuries, wounds that never fully healed. " Ichigo's mind flashed back to the terrifying look on Orihime's face when she saw his full Hollow form during the Hueco Mundo invasion. The shock and fear in her eyes—the face of someone he cared about, someone he couldn't protect. It haunted him more than any enemy he had ever faced. He was supposed to be the hero, the one who shielded others, not the monster they needed protection from." Seeing me like that... as a Hollow, I was everything she feared. And all I could do was watch her cry, feeling the darkness inside me consume everything good. I failed her, Mom. I wasn't the hero she needed."His thoughts then drifted to that moment in the Hell arc when his sister Yuzu's terrified scream echoed in his mind. The horror in her voice, the desperation as she tried to reach him through the chaos. Losing control, becoming a Hollow, and seeing his own family react with fear and distress... it was a betrayal of everything he had fought for... for who he fought for.And then, there was him losing his powers, over and over again. The moment Mugetsu ripped apart his inner world, tearing Zangetsu and his Hollow away from him. "I never knew... how much I needed them," he choked out. "My Hollow, Zangetsu... they were part of me, my strength, my identity. And they're gone now. "Ichigo's voice grew softer, almost a whisper lost to the sound of raindrops hitting the earth. "Even when Urahara tried to give me some of my Reiryoku back—he said he had gathered some spare Reiryoku from me when he was trying to find out more about my hollow... " Which raised a lot of red flags since he's fairly sure he was in contact with people like Shinji, but maybe he needed more data." I didn't feel them... they... they're really gone... Fuck.... I don't even know if I will have an afterlife... I... I won't be able to meet you... Wherever you are... Fucking hell I'm not even sure I will be even reincarnated... " Ichigo's voice continued to crack with a mixture of sorrow and frustration. " And then... everyone started to leave me. Orihime looks at me like she's afraid to get too close. Chad's gone too—last I heard, he left to look for his own path... Uryuu... Uryuu doesn't even bother interacting with me anymore, not like he did that much before but now... It's like I'm just a distant memory to him. And Rukia..." He paused, shaking his head in disbelief. "Rukia... she only shows up when it's an emergency when Soul Society needs me. I mean, how hard could it be to get a gigai and talk to me for once? Just to check in, to see how I'm doing..." Ichigo clenched the substitute badge hard in his hand, feeling the wood strain under his grip, as if it might splinter at any moment.He tried to take a deep breath to calm down as the air grew heavier and the rain began to fall around him."But... it's not like it's all bad. I mean, I saved Soul Society like what? Three times? And let's not forget how many souls I've saved— I even managed to bring some back from the brink..." A flash of Senna's face, with her happy orange eyes and purple hair, appeared in his mind—her joyful smile when they'd met on the bridge, chatting with her fellow classmates." And my family, my friends—they're alive because of me. Even if they're distant now, I know I did something right, something worth fighting for." His voice softened, a pang of nostalgia mixing with the pain of their absence. "But then... Karin and Yuzu... they're not around anymore either. After everything, it's like they've moved on too. Karin... she barely talks to me now, she is barely at home, always outside, and Yuzu..." He swallowed, his voice thick with emotion. "Yuzu just stays in her room all day when I'm home. It's like they're trying to protect herself from me.Ichigo clenched his substitute badge harder, the wood creaking under his grip. "Maybe they're afraid of me now... of what I've become. I can't blame them. I'm not the same person I used to be. And it's not just them..."His voice trailed off, an angry sigh escaping his lips. "Dad... I... I know I said I'd wait for him to explain everything. But he's just... gone now. Apparently, Yuzu and Karin still talk to him, but he's definitely at home. And here I am, left to clean up his mess..." Ichigo clenched his jaw, feeling his frustration bubbling up inside him. "But come on, he's a grown-up man, running away... I always called him pathetic... But seriously I can't imagine what you saw in him. "Talking about his father only deepened his anger, a small streak of his once-orange hair turning black—a side effect from Mugetsu—accompanied by his red eyes. The substitute badge in his hand creaked and strained, as if on the verge of snapping." I mean seriously the least he can d-! "" I wouldn't break that if I were you " A voice suddenly cut through the rain-soaked silence behind Ichigo. He quickly rose to his feet, the water-darkened grass clinging to his knees. Turning around, he found himself face-to-face with a woman with shoulder-length black hair and an X-shaped cross hanging around her neck. She was intently studying the substitute badge in his hand.Ichigo stunned looks at his badge " Wha-? ""Unless you want Soul Society coming for you," she said, her eyes narrowing as she spoke.Ichigo's instincts sharpened through countless battles, immediately kicked in as he grew tense, ready to push himself out of his body with the substitute badge, prepared to face the potential threat. But he stopped, recalling that he had already exhausted the last of his old Reiryoku Urahara's returned— was used up entirely against Kagerōza Inaba.The woman seeing this instantly raised her hands in a placating gesture, positioning them just above her chest, where a cross hung from her neck."Hey, hey, calm down. I'm not gonna bite. Just curious... You wouldn't happen to be a substitute Shinigami, would you?" She paused, her eyes fixed on the substitute badge in his hand. Her voice is smooth, with a hint of amusement, as she watches Ichigo with a slightly cocked eyebrow. "You know, it's kinda rare to see one of those badges outside of Soul Society."This made Ichigo's eyebrow raise in surprise. He had shown the substitute badge to multiple Shinigami before, but none had recognized it—Zennosuke Kurumadani being a prime example. You'd think a Shinigami working in the human world would know something like that, especially when the substitute in question is as strong as the captains of Gotei 13.Seeing someone he didn't recognize, especially one who didn't look like they were part of the Soul Society, was pretty surprising. And what did she say a moment ago? Something about Soul Society coming for him?"Who are you? And what do you mean by Soul Society coming for me?" Ichigo asked, his tone sharp with suspicion as he tried to piece together who this woman was and what exactly she was talking about.The woman's sharp gaze locked onto Ichigo's as if she were searching for something hidden deep within him. After a moment, her eyes flicked back to the badge in his hand. She let out a slow, deliberate sigh, " Tell you what kid, give me that badge for a second, and I will tell you from who I recognize that badge from. " She extended her hand toward him, palm up, a faint smirk playing on her lips. "Deal?"Ichigo's eyes narrowed, his grip tightening on the badge. "What do you know about this?"She tilted her head, her smirk growing into something almost mocking. "I know enough. That thing? It's more than just a keepsake or a tool to kick you out of your body. It's their leash, their way of keeping tabs on you. They don't trust substitutes "Ichigo's brow furrowed, the rain slipping unnoticed down his face as her words sank in. A leash? His grip on the badge tightened even more, his knuckles turning white."What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded, his voice laced with skepticism and a faint edge of anger. " They gave this to me to help other shinigami to identify me. " The woman chuckled softly, her tone laced with amusement and just a hint of condescension. "Oh, kid, is that what they told you? Really? Think about it—how many substitute Shinigami have you seen? Better yet, how many people have even recognized that badge for identification purposes? Go ahead, I'll wait."Her smirk deepened as she saw Ichigo's silence, the faintest flicker of doubt crossing his face. "Exactly. That thing isn't some universal badge of honor. It's not even common knowledge. Makes you wonder, doesn't it? If it's really meant for substitutes, why does it feel like you're the only one walking around with one?"Ichigo's gaze shifted from the woman to the badge in his hand, his mind racing with her words. A mistake. The moment his focus wavered, she darted forward with startling speed, snatching the badge cleanly from his grasp. Before he could react, she leaped back, creating a safe distance between them, the badge now securely in her hand.Ichigo blinked, the realization of what just happened sinking in like a cold splash of water. His eyes snapped to the woman, his glare sharp and unwavering. His stance shifted subtly, his body tense and ready, now fully aware of just how fast she was.The woman appeared utterly unconcerned with Ichigo, her attention fixated solely on the badge in her hand. Ichigo opened his mouth, ready to demand its return, but his words froze in his throat as the badge suddenly emitted a sharp, familiar beep—the same sound it made whenever a Hollow appeared nearby.Ichigo stared in disbelief, his expression shifting to one of shock. Ever since he had lost his abilities, the wooden badge had been completely dormant—never reacting, not even when Uryuu had bolted out of class to hunt down a random Hollow. The woman's smirk faded as her eyes narrowed, her gaze fixed on the badge with an intensity that made Ichigo uneasy. Her brow furrowed, and she let out an irritated scoff. "Figures," she muttered, her voice dripping with disdain. She held the badge up, turning it over in her hand as if inspecting every inch of it.Then, with a sharp glare at the worn edges of the wood, she sneered, "Those bastards didn't even bother giving you a new one, huh? Same outdated, half-functional piece of crap I turned it into " She flipped the badge over in her hand, examining it with an unamused look.Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "What the hell are you talking about!?" His voice was sharp, suspicion thick in every syllable.The woman raised a single finger to him, motioning for him to wait a moment. Then, without a word, the beeping abruptly stopped." There we go," she said, turning the badge around to face her again. Suddenly, she hurled it at Ichigo with incredible speed. His eyes widened as he tried to catch it, but just as he grabbed it, the woman was suddenly in front of him. She grabbed the front of his jacket before he could react, and in the blink of an eye, they both disappeared, reappearing in a dim, dusty room.The air in the building was thick with dust, each breath scratching at Ichigo's throat. He staggered back, ripping himself free from her grasp and glaring daggers at her."Where the hell did you take me?" he demanded, his voice sharp and unrelenting."Jeez, this place really became this dusty?" she muttered, ignoring Ichigo's question as she swept a finger across a nearby windowsill, examining the thick layer of grime that clung to her skin. "Guess nobody's been here for a while."Ichigo's patience finally shattered. "Quit dodging the damn question!" he barked, grabbing her jacket in a firm grip. His crimson eyes blazed with frustration as he pulled her closer. "Who the hell are you, and what do you want from me?!"* Swish ** Thud * *Riiiiiiing*Before he could even process what had happened, Ichigo found himself flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He turned his head to look at the woman—only to freeze. A massive broadsword was embedded in the floor mere millimeters from his neck, so close that even a deep breath might cut the skin of his neck.The woman, entirely unbothered by the situation, stood over him with a phone casually pressed to her ear, her posture relaxed.' What... the hell ? ' Ichigo thought, his eyes glued to the strange sword. Its sleek, polished metallic blade gleamed ominously in the dark room, its wide, double-edged form which is connected to its crossguard which consists of a small red gem at the center, and two straight ornate arms alongside the strange guard. The sword's handle pierced through the guard, extending into a hollow space at the base of the blade.After a brief inspection of the broadsword, Ichigo's eyes flicked back to the woman - whose eyebrow was twitching - just as the person on the other end of her call finally answered."Hey, brat, what did I tell you about picking up the phone the second I call? " The woman screamed at the person through an old flip flone he saw some gangsters he used to beat up use.* Mhphphhh- * Someone on the other hand said something but -" Especially when I'm in a place where Shinigami are in charge! " The woman interrupted him.* MHPHPHHHMHHH ! * The person, who actually sounded like a child to Ichigo's ears, said something."You fucking...!" She rubbed the top of her head. "Fuck it, it doesn't matter. Anyways, I'm at our old base, you know, the one we had before we went underground." The woman said, piquing Ichigo's interest. She seemed to be wanted, and with her earlier mention about Shinigami occasionally visiting this town, it was clear she was likely wanted by the Soul Society—for, well, anything really, Ichigo thought now. Given how the Soul Society, specifically the Seireitei, and even more specifically Central 46, were notorious for punishing anyone spiritually aware for practically anything.Like destroying mod souls simply for existing because they might pose a potential threat, banning Zaraki Kenpachi from learning Zanjutsu—which Ichigo was pretty sure was just what sword fighting was called in the Soul Society—let alone controlling his Reiatsu, which still boggles Ichigos mind as imagine weakening one of your armies commanders. And then there was the time they decided to make Toshiro Hitsugaya and Sōjirō Kusaka fight to the death just because they shared a similar Zanpakuto.Then there was the whole fiasco with the Bounts, the nuke hidden beneath the Seireitei, the blanks, and Senna with the Valley of Screams. Not to mention whatever insanity went down with the royal families during the Shūsuke Amagai and Rurichiyo Kasumiōji debacle.And let's not forget the thing that started it all—when the Soul Society's commanders decided to execute Rukia without so much as a trial for transferring her Shinigami powers to him to save his life and his family. That decision alone had planted the first seeds of doubt in his mind about their so-called justic-."So, kid, what's your name?" the woman asked casually, her gaze fixed on him as she leaned her full weight onto the hilt of her broadsword. putting her full weight on the sword, actually cutting into his neck, even if it's just barely, but it gets the point across, talk or he will be decapitated.From his position on the ground, Ichigo's eyes briefly wandered—not that he was staring or anything—but the angle she leaned at made her chest slightly more prominent. Definitely not something he paid attention to. What did catch his eye, though, was the absence of the cross she'd worn earlier. It was gone from her neck. His gaze shifted to the sword pressing against him, and a suspicion began forming in his mind. Considering the blade's intricate cross design."My name is Ichigo Kurosaki, not 'kid,'" he grumbled, his tone laced with irritation. His mind raced, searching for an escape plan, but everything came up blank. Even if he somehow managed to slip free from the blade, she had already demonstrated just how quickly she could remedy that—with his head as collateral. With no other options available, he opted to answer, hoping it would buy him time, maybe even get him some answers of his own—and, most importantly, keep him alive."..."The woman stared at him in silence for what seemed like 5 seconds in reality, and for Ichigo, it felt like being trapped in the Dangai all over again— with time for him dragging painfully slow, every second stretching into eternity.He felt the blade's edge slowly lift from his neck, prompting a wave of relief to wash over him—though he kept it confined to a silent mental sigh...That relief was short-lived. In an instant, the sword's tip was poised directly in front of his crimson right eye, so close he could see his own reflection in its polished surface." Strawbery ? Stop joking, Who in their right mind would name their kid something that ridiculous?" The woman threatened, clearly not believing what he told her was the truth.Hearing her call him "strawberry" managed to override the fear he'd been feeling moments ago. Maybe if he hadn't already been emotionally drained—first from visiting his mother's grave, and now from having his life threatened—he might've let the remark slide. After all, this clearly wasn't the time to get hung up on something so trivial.But no one, no one, disrespects the name his mother gave him."The one who protects," he began, his crimson eyes narrowing with a renewed intensity." It means the one who protects ! " He growls out again seeing her raise an eyebrow, whether in surprise at his anger or that he actually dared to yell at someone who held his life in their hands he doesn't know. But it also made her chuckle slightly." One who protects ? To me, it seems like you are the one who needs protection right now " She remarksWhile she spoke those words lightly, as though teasing, they hit Ichigo like a physical blow, his head thumping against the floor as if struck.' It's not like she's wrong... I'm powerless now... weak... everyone I wanted and could protect left me '"Hey kid, you doing okay over there? You almost got yourself killed with that stunt." The woman snapped Ichigo out of his thoughts, noticing that the sword was now a bit further away from him than before—likely her moving it back so he wouldn't stab himself from the recoil of his head hitting the floor.Cursing himself for nearly getting killed, and noticing that she didn't seem intent on ending him—at least not yet, given she hadn't wanted him stabbed—he decided to take a chance and ask her a question." So who the hell are you ? " The question makes the woman stare at him for a minute.Before smirking and replying" Kyra Ginelle... " and here now the identified female - Kyra Ginelle - pauses, for Ichigo it looked like it was for dramatic effect, but in actually the woman was remembering the past she would rather forget."... A former substitute Shinigami. "TO BE CONTINUED !Hello there... Well uh... I decided to completely rework what I had posted before, hopefully, I will update this fanfiction more.Aside from that I would like to thank you for reading the first chapter, also I would like to say that if you have any questions about this fanfiction, you can ask me any question and I will answer them to the best of my abilities.Also yes Kyra Ginelle is the female version of Kūgo Ginjō, should I change the name ? Yes ? No ? Well we will see.Anyways, have a good morning, a good day and a good night.Yay 3789 words.