A man who is unable to protect his honour, a man with no significance...Loathing myself during the last moments of my life was also pathetic.
My mind has become numb to pain and my heart aches every time I think of the betrayal I suffered from the person I thought was my everything.
" Ethan..." Someone called out to me, and I felt compelled to open my eyes.
" Archmage Luna, why are you here?" I asked, feeling pain every time I spoke.
" I...I wanted to apologise." She spoke.
I gave her a curious look, unable to think of a reason why she will come to apologise to me.
" I was unable to convince you, if only...I have confessed earlier, you wouldn't have left." She spoke.
" Confessed what?" Bewildered by what she said, I asked.
" That, I felt the same way about you..." She spoke shyly.
This is a bit problematic, I think she still misunderstands my fake love confession that happened 12 years ago. It was at the time when I was forced by my family to propose to her.
" I don't have much time left...but I will say this from my heart...I am flattered to hear that." I answered with a forced smile.
I felt that I shouldn't clear that misunderstanding, She was the only person currently by my side. If anything I don't want to die being hated by her.
After hearing my response, she fell silent and the atmosphere turned awkward. She grabbed a seat next to my bed and held my hand.
" Your mana vessel is contaminated to such a degree...how are you able to speak or stay conscious with such pain?" She asked.
" Well, It hurts but I am in a better mood now, I would like to speak rather than stay silent...But yeah, I think I should stop speaking," I answered because it was becoming painful with every second.
"..." She didn't say anything in response to my answer and continued to grab onto my hands for some reason and spoke after some time " At that time, I wanted to learn magic only...I thought having a lover would only hinder me from achieving my goal."
Luna was a talented mage who was enrolled in the imperial academy due to her merits alone...Her family and origins were a secret that no one except for her and her mentors knew.
Whereas I was someone from the Augustine family. A well-renowned mage family with a 1000-year history. My family wanted to use me to somehow bring a talent like her under their control.
" Back then I also thought that you were arrogant but when you saved my life by risking yours I realised that your words were genuine." She continued.
My guilty conscience was once again damaged, I saved her because it was my family that planned to kill her in the first place.
' Should I tell her the truth?' I thought and tried to speak but my throat hurt and I could only groan.
" You even left your family for my sake, even at that time I was unable to accept your love due to some reason." She spoke.
'...But I didn't leave my family because of you.'
I was unable to speak anymore thus unable to correct her.
" When I returned and was finally ready, you already found someone else...I am not saying that you did something wrong but...Couldn't you have waited for a little more?" She started crying, tears were now visible on her fair skin.
" I regret it... I regret not being able to tell you, I should have told you everything before you found someone else."
' Was it this bad? Did my fake love confession cause so much pain to her?'
" I can save you...I have the elixir of life, so will you marry me now?" She asked.
'...This girl is hopeless.'
While I was thinking that suddenly a glass container filled with a red liquid appeared in her hand. It was a High-tier summoning magic that someone like me can never learn.
She wasn't lying about having the Elixir, she opened the cork of the container and tried to open my mouth.
Was it right to use her? Knowing that she is just misunderstanding everything. I have always lied to her that and she had only suffered even if that wasn't my intention.
' I have nothing left to live for, and I...don't think that I will be able to believe in love ever again.'
I raised my hand to block her, moving it felt like pushing a huge boulder. She was surprised by my action and stopped.
"...Don't...I...Am...*ugh*...sorry!" I spoke clenching my hands. It was very difficult to speak but I forced myself to speak.
" Please, it doesn't matter if you still can't accept me but please drink this. This is the only way you can survive." She spoke impatiently.
"...I...Don't...Want to...Live *ugh* anymore," I spoke using all of the strength I had left and suddenly my vision started to blur.
I could hear Luna trying to force me into drinking that Elixir but that was truly not needed. For what and for whom I will live, if there is anything I would like to go back in time to never make the same mistakes again.
.
.
.
My life flashed before my eyes...
All the foolish things I had done when I was young, just because I wanted to be acknowledged by my family. It took me several years to realise that I could never be the person they will appreciate having among them.
If anything I was an eyesore to the patriarch of the family for tarnishing his name so many times...both because of my lack of talent and my actions.
That foolish confession, I ruined an innocent person's love life and never corrected the misunderstanding.
Then after that falling in love with the wrong person who abandoned me for someone better. Trusting people who would backstab without hesitation...
No point in thinking about it... Let's die peacefully.
*Thud*
" Ouch!" I screamed.
What the hell happened? Did I fall? from...where?
I tried to open my eyes, and surprisingly they opened without any issue. What I saw was a clear vision of a dirty and wet floor. I sat down to look where I was.
"...A dream?" I spoke after seeing where I was.
It was a familiar place, a narrow corridor which students often used to go to their classes.
" Excuse me, are you okay?" Someone wearing an Academy uniform approached me.
I recognised the black uniform with red and golden stripes, this was the uniform of the second-year students in the academy.
Without replying, I looked at myself, I was wearing a uniform with blue and gold stripes which was the first-year uniform. I felt my heart beating and the throbbing light pain that occurred due to the fall.
Am I back in time?