GABRIELA
I had woken up a couple of minutes before Alex left, but I didn't want to worry him, because I had had a nightmare. I think the fact that guy had put his hands on me when I hit him made me remember the sensations of him touching me and I wanted to get it out of my mind. I didn't want to remember that moment at all and I know my limits. I don't want to do anything stupid like I did eight years ago.
At this moment I feel like I'm going to explode at any moment, really, and I wanted to be alone. I didn't want anyone to bother me. I needed Kevin to come, he's the only one would understand and help me with.
"Can you stop pretending to be asleep? I know you're not." Camila said next to me "I need you and Kevin to do me a favour. I need you to go get Kevin." I asked, "Better, why don't you tell me and then we'll tell him?" she asked "Kevin has to be here too" I insisted "I would call him delighted, but I don't think he wants to leave where that guy is. Besides, he must be telling Santi everything."
"I don't care if he's telling Santi everything, I need him to come." I responded, "And I won't be able to help you alone by any chance?" she asked again "Kevin" asked. I simply said, "Okay, I understand, but you should know Alex won't be long in coming and seeing you like this is going to make him more worried than he already is." She assured, "I need Kevin to be here too." I insisted, "I'm going to get him, don't worry."
Camila got up from my side and entered the house and a few seconds later left it and went to where they were, I could see them from here, but that asshole was occasionally looking to where I am with an arrogant smile that made me nervous, so I got up and went to the other side of the terrace so I wouldn't see him anymore. It didn't take long for Kevin and Camila to get to the house and even less to get to me. "We're here, Gabriela."
"Are you okay?" He asked and I nodded even though it wasn't entirely true. "I need you to do me a favour." I asked for "Whoever you want." Kev responded quickly. "I need you to go home and get the pills from where I have them." I said and I could see how he frowned. "Why?" He asked, "Do you remember about eight years ago?"
"Alex broke up with you." Kevin said, "I'm not referring to that... I'm referring to the other thing." I responded, "Kevin, it means when we came to help her and nobody at home knew we were here." Camila said and I could see how he understood it now. "The thing about the pills…" my cousin said, "That's right." I nodded "You're not thinking about…"
"I'm not thinking about it... but the fact he put his hands on me again made me remember all the sensations... I don't want to do anything stupid." I confessed, "You're not going to do anything stupid; you wouldn't hurt your daughters." Camila assured and I nodded, because I knew, but I also didn't want to take risks. "I know but…"
Just then I see Alex cross the corner and stare at us. I didn't want him to find out what we were talking about, it would be something I would half-tell him at another time, because trying to end everything eight years ago was because of him, and I don't want him to take the blame for something that already happened. "But what Gabriela?" Camila asked "Maar op momenten van wanhoop doe je alles, zeg ik je uit evaring. (But in moments of desperation one does anything, I tell you from experience.)" I said in Dutch " Heeft hij , gelijk ? (He is here, right?)" Kevin asked even though he knew the answer "Ha. (Yeah)"
"In welk hius zijn ze? (What house are they in?)" he asked "Thuis heb ik ze meegenomen, zoals u zich herinnert dat ik ze vanmorgen heb meegenomen. Je wilt dat ik ze vooral ergens achterlaat. (At home, I brought them with me, as you remember I took them this morning.)" I reminded him and he nodded "Je wilt dat ik ze vooral ergens achterlaat.? (Do you want me to leave them somewhere special?)"
"In een waarvan ik niet weet waar ze zijn. (In one that I don't know where they are.)" I responded " Oké , we pray hier later over. (Okay, we'll talk about this later.)" my cousin said "Er is niks ... (There is nothing...)" I started to say but he denied "Je moet erover praten, je moet alles wat je van binnen voelt verwijderen. Ik ga u dat niet laten. (You must talk about it, you must get out all you feel from inside. I'm not going to let you keep it in, it might help you, last time it did a little.)"
"Don't worry, we'll take care of it. Now stop worrying and relax, it will make you feel better." Camila said with a smile on her face. "Thank you, guys." I thanked "It's nothing, you will always have us. "We love you, darling." He said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "See you soon, cousin." With that Kevin left the terrace and Alex came up next to me, ending up sitting next to me, putting an arm over my shoulders.
"I brought you something to eat." Alex said, "Thank you love, but I'm not hungry." I responded even though I'm a little hungry, but I also know I would end up throwing up everything "I know you are, don't try to convince me. But it's okay, I understand if you don't want to eat."
I had pressed myself against him, left my head on his chest, and Alex had started running his hand through my hair, because he knew it's something that would relax me and I really needed it. The minutes went by, and I really realized it wasn't worth getting stuck in what had happened four years ago. The only thing I wanted is to enjoy the day after the news we had brought this morning, and I didn't want things to get worse with the pregnancy now that my girls were fine, I would avoid it at all costs.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there four years ago to help you. I know you couldn't see me at the time and all that, but despite all that, I could have helped you get that asshole to get his hands off you." I noticed how he was closing his hand considerably on my arm, and the truth is, I don't understand why he's blaming himself for something that wasn't his, basically because I didn't want to see him and he couldn't have done anything to avoid it, so I separated from him to look him directly in the eyes, I'm sure is the only way I'll be able to convince him completely.
"Love, you're not to blame for what happened four years ago. No matter how much you were there, you couldn't have done anything, I wasn't going to let you come within a kilometre of me. That guy is to blame for what happened to me four years ago, but you're not. I know if you were there, you would have prevented that guy from putting his hand on me, and that's what matters to me. You shouldn't blame yourself for that." At that moment I noticed the hand had some injuries on it, so I moved the other one away from my arm to see if it had the same injuries.
"Let's get that cleaned up before you get infected." I said, getting up to go into the house and clean her wounds. "It's not necessary, beautiful." He said, "Of course it is, I'm not going to let you get an infection or something because of that guy." I insisted "As you wish." We get up from the ground and head inside the house. The alcohol and gauze were in the living room, so I told him to sit on the couch while I went to get the things. As soon as I found them, I sat down next to him and took one of his hands to start cleaning his wounds.
"I didn't know you knew Italian." I said without taking my attention away from his hands. "My grandmother taught me, she's Italian." He responded, "I didn't know." I admitted, "There are a lot of things we don't know about each other if you think about it." I could tell he's upset, and I can get an idea, because he found out not long ago what that guy had done to me, but no one knew until relatively recently, nor did I want him to know because I knew how he would react, and I didn't want him to get in trouble for that.
"Honey, I know you're upset because I didn't tell you what happened four years ago, but no one really knew until recently." I admitted, "And I have to assume I'm one of the last to know." He said in an annoyed tone, "You're one of the only ones who knows, but I didn't want you to find out like that." I confessed, "Better say you didn't want me to find out." he said "No, I didn't want to, but in case you did, I didn't want it to be this way."
"Well, that's the problem." he murmured "What?" I asked confused "SOMETIMES IT SEEMS LIKE YOU DON'T TRUST ME, GABRIELA. SOMETIMES I KILL MYSELF TO THINK WHAT I DO TO MAKE YOU TRUST ME, BUT I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO FOR YOU TO TRUST ME." That was the stupidest thing that could have ever crossed his mind. I trust him more than anyone, but there were things he didn't tell anyone.
"Sorry… I didn't mean to yell at you." He apologized and I denied, "Let me tell you something. That's the stupidest thing you've said since we've been together." I responded "Beautiful, really… I didn't want to yell at you… I just…" he started, and I denied, putting one of my fingers on his lips "That's the last thing I care about Alex. I understand at this moment you're angry because at the end of the day it's true, I do not talk about my past, but it's not that I do it only with you, I do it with everyone, it's something that comes naturally to me.
"So you're not mad because I just yelled at you?" He asked, and I could almost say surprised. "I'm not mad at you, love. I'm upset because you think I don't trust you. I trust you more than I would trust anyone in my life. You shouldn't torture yourself thinking about what to do to get him to trust you, because you don't need to do anything. I trust you, love so don't say that again." I assured, "Okay, I won't say it, but that's how I feel sometimes." He confessed, "I'm not going to like this idea, but we can do something."
"What? And why? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, if you don't want to tell me I understand." He responded "It's not I don't want to tell you; I really think I didn't do anything interesting. The point is not that, my family are taking too long to show you all the photos and tell you all the stories they have about me. I can tell them to show you the photos and tell you everything you want to know."
"Are you sure? I don't want you to get upset." He insisted "It won't bother me; besides I think you're right. We're getting married and we know practically nothing about each other before we met and that eight-year gap. Of course, I only ask one thing of you." I said, "Whatever you want, beautiful."
"I also want to see photos of you from when you were little." I pointed out "I was ugly, there's nothing to see in them." He said and I rolled my eyes. "Don't say that jokingly either, because I'm sure you weren't." I answered, "I really think you can't give your opinion if you've never seen me." He commented "I don't care about that, because even though I see you every day you always say you're ugly, which is a lie."
"But that's because you have to adjust your glasses again, beautiful, because I doubt you can see well." He said with a smile on his face, "For your information, I don't see well from afar, but up close I do have good eyesight, and considering we're glued at each other hip, it can't be said you're ugly. Didn't you see Camila's reaction? Nerea's reaction the moment she saw you?" I asked ironically, because I knew I had seen and heard them. "Yes, I saw them, but I'm only interested in a reaction."
"Oh yeah?" I asked with a smile on my face "My dear fiancée's. Did you see her?" He asked and my smile widened. "Describe her to me and I'll tell you if I saw her." I said, continuing his game "Well, she's a beautiful girl like you, casually, brunette, glasses that make her sexy, tall and pregnant. She's the person I love most in the world." He answered and I raised an eyebrow. "Do glasses make her sexy?"
"Yes, I recognize her as the sexiest and most beautiful person in the world." he insisted "Well, let me tell you what if that girl leaves you here more time alone, I 'll stay with you. She's lucky to have you in her life." I said and Alex's smile widened "I'm luckier to have her in my life."
"I love you" I said, "I love you more, beautiful." Alex had sat me on his lap, and I had put my arms behind his neck. At least he didn't seem upset anymore. We kissed like we always did when we told each other we loved each other, but I separated so I could finish cleaning the wounds on his hand.
"That's a really short kiss." He said, pouting. "They're all short for you, love." I pointed out, "I just love kissing you." He protested as if he were a small child, "Beh, don't worry about it, I'll give them all when my whole family isn't lurking around. You can get out of there now Camila.)"
At that moment Camila appears through the door and I must admit at another time it would bother me if she had been there listening for a while, but today I could understand she's there, especially considering her way of being, which is one of those who wouldn't left until they are well. I think that's the thing I hate most about her personality.
I had focused again on cleaning Alex's wounds, while my fiancée is alternating his gaze between me and Camila who's standing at the door. "What do you need Camila?" I asked, "I really don't need anything, it's just to tell you this Santi guy wants to talk to you. He really looks a little angry."
"Tell me you didn't tell him it was Alex who left the guy like that." I asked, "Well…" she began, "Shit, you should keep quiet about that." I said in an annoyed tone "Beautiful, it's okay. I'll face whatever comes." said my fiancé to which I denied, "I'm not going to let you go to jail because of this guy." I responded more abruptly than I intended, "Nothing is going to happen to me."
"Obviously not, I'll avoid that no matter what it costs me." Camila was looking at us without understanding anything, while I finished cleaning Alex's hand. When I finished, I got up from Alex's lap and headed downstairs to face Santi's anger.
Once downstairs, the look of my entire family tells me they're worried and have thousands of questions, but I ignored them and entered the living room, which is where Santi is. I don't know how I'm going to convince him Alex wasn't to blame for what happened, but what I do know for sure is I won't let Alex get in trouble for hitting that guy.