It was a sad fact that Beau and Victoria couldn't carpool to the University despite living so close together, but they both agreed it was for the best that they not do so. Not just because he didn't want anyone to know, but because their schedules would surely leave someone waiting daily.
Beau always arrived first, sitting at the assembly desk and eagerly awaiting the moment that Victoria would step inside the class. They would make eye contact as soon as she had a seat, and even though they didn't move their posture in the slightest, they could see their mutual feelings soaring in the space between them. Beau loved this moment. It was so simple, yet made his entire life feel complete.
"Hey Beau."
Beau looked up to see Adam. Goddamnit, of course you're here when Victoria is about to enter.
"How can I help you professor Walcott?"
"I just wanted to check in with you over the fundraiser on Saturday. Are you still coming? You pledged a donation, I assumed you were."
"Uh yes, I will definitely be there. I made a commitment when I pledged."
At that moment, Victoria walked in. Beau began staring at her even though Adam began again.
"Will you be bringing Ava?"
Beau's entire body begin seizing in massive earth shattering alarm. He felt his arms shaking, his forehead sweating, and his lips quivering. He looked at Victoria immediately, who was staring back at him with just as much surprise as he was portraying on his own face.
"I need to know how many dinners to have the caterer set up," Adam waited for Beau to speak.
"I…uh…" Beau continued to struggle with a retort. He knew whatever he said next was crucial to his relationship. He looked at her again, then back up at Adam.
"Don't tell me she dumped you already?" Adam snickered, before looking back to see Victoria. "Good morning Ms. Montoya."
"Good morning," she calmly replied, hiding her pain as best she could.
Adam was laughing maniacally within. He knew Beau was freaking out, and that Victoria was finding out what a piece of shit Beau was. It was all working.
"So, is she coming?"
He finally spoke up. "No."
'He's seeing someone else,' Victoria told herself. Beau had told her that Adam was a horrible person, but it seemed like he was a saint, telling her the truth about Beau and saving her from wasting her time with a cheater. She held her strength and continued to be dignified. She wouldn't say a word or cause a scene. She was better than this moment and his drama.
"That's a shame. You've been dating for what? A month now?"
Reputation or Victoria. Reputation or Victoria. He could tell all of the truth right now, or he could continue to be the debonair without any flaws to his biography.
"Yes."
He didn't dare look at Victoria. He was fuming inside, pursing his lips to keep from screaming, or beating Adam where he stood.
He has to know. Why else would he be saying this in front of her? But he did start talking to me before she showed up…
"What did you and Ava do after the art gallery? You left rather early."
"That's enough!" Beau put his foot down. He stood up and rose himself tall before Adam, leaning his entire body against the desk with the palm of his hands. He was seething fury and made it known to Adam. "This isn't a place to be talking about girlfriends, there are students present."
"Sorry, I forgot we weren't alone anymore. Well, I hope to see you and Ava at the fundraiser. She was really beautiful and sweet, you can't let that one get away. Plus I spent a lot of time organizing this event, and I do hope it goes flawlessly. Enjoy your class," Adam spoke with the most innocent of faces, but Beau could see inside that he was doing this on purpose.
As Adam left his view, Beau didn't move his now frozen body. He was now free to eye Victoria, who was no longer looking up at him. Instead, she had her head down. She wasn't crying, but Beau didn't need to see tears to know she was devastated.
"It's not what it sounds like, I promise you. I-"
Beau couldn't say another word. Students began entering the assembly. He tossed his head down and mentally felt himself crumbling. So many thoughts were swirling around.
She hates me.
I have to teach a class.
I have to speak for two hours while the love of my life thinks I'm cheating on her.
What the fuck do I say?
Does Adam know?
When everyone had entered, he swallowed his massive guilt and decided he'd do his best to keep up appearances. He was a professional, and now was not the time to be emotional.
"Good morning class," his voice cracked. He took another deep breath before speaking again. "Today we'll be discussing Lady Chatterly's Lover…" Beau began, disgusted with the irony. "And the class struggles that kept Oliver and Constance apart."
He'd never felt such relief when the discussion was finally over and Beau could stop trying to pretend everything was okay. Victoria had been silent the entire class, which she never was. There was no doubt she was crushed, and all Beau could do was watch her sitting there with her head down. The scenario broke his heart.
He'd given the class their prompt and had a seat. Everyone looked at Victoria when she stood up a mere two minutes later. There was no way she had written a complete essay that fast. She placed a sheet of paper in his drop box and walked off without looking at him once. Beau waited until she was out of the room before grabbing the sheet of paper. The front page was blank. He flipped it over to see her wonderful cursive penmanship and just two words.
'Fuck you.'
Beau gulped and hid the sheet of paper in his briefcase.
#
He eyed Travis with contempt. He always was the last to finish his essay, but today it felt like he was purposefully holding Beau captive longer so that he wouldn't have a chance to run after Victoria, find her, and beg her to listen to his reasons. He tapped impatiently and looked at the clock. He only had a 15 minute window before Victoria would be at her next class.
At last Travis stood up and dropped off his essay. Beau had already packed everything, and grabbed the last essay to grade before running out of the classroom himself. He went back to his office, tossed everything on his desk and reached for his phone.
Voicemail.
He knew she turned off her phone at school because she hated being distracted. While that was usually an amazing quality about her, he now hated it. He recalled where her next class was and began running a marathon to get there before she would go in to have a seat.
Beau ran passed everyone in the english department, across a small courtyard and into the history building, dodging everyone as he did so. At last, he spotted her. He spotted her walking into the classroom. He couldn't yell out her name. People were watching. He had already made a fool of himself dashing across campus, he knew he couldn't beg Victoria to speak to him in front of students too.
He threw his head down in massive defeat and tried to calm himself down. Instead of returning to his cocoon, he decided he'd venture to the architectural building.
"Reed," Beau spat, closing Reed's door behind him. Reed was the head of the architectural studies, and was rather busy. However, Beau didn't care how busy anyone was right now.
"Are you okay? You look terrified," he set his coffee down and pitied Beau's composure.
"Did you tell anyone about me dating Victoria?" he said quietly while having a seat.
"No, of course not."
"Promise me!"
"I wouldn't tell a soul, you know who I am. You know I don't like Adam either. He's a gossip."
"I think he knows about us. He came into my class and started asking about Ava right in front of her."
Reed gasped at this sad scenario, shaking his head. "Perhaps he does. Have you been in public with her where he can see you?"
"No, I don't think so. I purposely take her places far from town that I don't think he'd go to. For heavens sake, we go out in Surrey!"
"I see, that is a step down for you. Did he ask you these things knowing she was in there?"
"Well…no," Beau paused. "He came in to ask about the fundraiser, and asked if she would be there too because of setting arrangements."
"It sounds like it was just bad timing. I'm sorry Beau."
"I swear, the universe is against me being with her! I'm finally happy, and it's all being taken away from me!"
"Have you spoken to her since?"
"Victoria? No. She left the class immediately and I couldn't ditch the rest of the class to talk to her."
"I see. It's going to be okay Beau. Just, tell her the truth. I think deep down, she might be a little more understanding than what you think."
"I hope so. God she looked so hurt. I'm so stupid, why did I have to get myself into this mess."
"Because you let Adam get into your head. And you can't let that happen. He's just trying to make himself feel better by stepping on others. You're above him, always will be."
"I appreciate it."
"Now, go find her and make things right. You have to at least try. You made it this far despite being pessimistic that she'd talk to you."
"You're right. Thanks Reed."
"Of course. Good luck to you. And I'll keep an eye on the boys, if I think they may know something, I'll give you a heads up."
"Thanks."
Beau slipped out of the room and looked at his phone again. He called her but again it went to voicemail. She's in class, he reasoned with himself. He took his pathetic body back into his office and decided he's use this hour rehearsing what he'd say when he finally got hold of her again. If she would let him, that is.
#
The ending of her class couldn't have come sooner. Beau waited outside the room. He didn't know what his strategy would be. Could he even follow her without drawing attention? His thoughts were cut short when the doors burst open and so did his strategy. His heart pounded as he watched the many students come pouring out. At last, he spotted her, and it was clear she didn't see him because she didn't go running off. He followed her calmly, watching the sea of students go dispersing out until he felt he could speak to her without making commotion.
"Ms. Montoya, may I have a word with you please in my office," Beau got along side her.
"Get away from me, she muttered. No one was around at this point. Beau grabbed her hand and pulled her into an empty room. As soon as he closed the door, she slapped him. The feeling of her warm fingers stayed on his skin, as did the hurt of her slap.
"I deserved that," was the first thing out his mouth. "But I promise you, it's not true!"
"Spare me your lies Beau, I will not tolerate this in my life."
"No. Look, I…"
He knew he had to come clean. Half of it was true.
"My colleagues, or Adam rather, pressured me into why I hadn't been coming to their social events lately. I told him I was seeing someone, and he asked me who. I couldn't tell them it was you, so I just blurted out my ex girlfriend's name. He insisted I was making her up so I had to get her to go out with me."
"You had to?" She was not impressed.
"Okay, I didn't have to. I was just trying to save face and hide your identity as best I could."
None of this mattered to her. He went on a date with another woman.
"Absolutely nothing happened, I assure you! I can't stand that woman! I just had her go out that one night, and the next morning I told her the truth, that I had used her as a cover story. She screamed at me and told me I was a piece of shit that she never wanted to see again."
"The next morning?"
Beau's face fell flat. How could a situation get so out of hand? He wanted to smash his face into the wall. "Yes, she spent the night. I won't lie to you. She said she was drunk and I didn't want to take a chance of that being true. She slept in my guest room."
"So you're telling me you didn't have sex with her? You didn't kiss her at all?"
"Yes we did kiss, but that's only because she grabbed me but I pushed her off of me and that's when I told her the real reason I had asked her out."
"I don't know what's worse," Victoria tossed her head around in disbelief. "You going out with another woman or you using this poor woman just to make yourself look like such a commodity. You're disgusting and I want nothing to do with you."
She was about to make her beeline for the door but Beau ran around her to block her exit.
"I fucked up and I get it completely. It was a horrible thing for me to do. I don't know why I let these clowns get into my mind about proving myself as someone that I'm really not. I can't believe for the life of me that I was even willing to hurt two people just to keep up appearances. I have absolutely learned my lesson. I've felt so awful over the whole thing, and it won't happen again. I am mad for you Victoria! I am so mad for you that..it was supposed to be a surprise. I don't know if you knew or not, but today is our two month anniversary. And I know that's stupid, but I'm so happy with you, and I want to celebrate every second I can with you. I got us two tickets to that show you wanted to see."
Victoria stammered. He was an asshole, but a sweet asshole. Everyone is allowed to make a mistake, right? She tried her to reason with herself. After all, she too was lying to him every day, and knew she had no right to punish him when she wasn't even willing to come clean herself.
"Please?" he eyed her again, the sullen hope of his expression almost as precious as when he lusted after her. She was so fond of him, it felt impossible to wound his face. His sexy, handsome, sculpted face, the one that wanted her with all of his might.
"I forgive you."
"Thank you so much! I will make up for it, I promise. Tonight is going to be amazing, so amazing you won't even remember this happened."
#
Victoria placed on her best little black dress as she eagerly awaited Beau's arrival. She was still terribly bothered about what had happened, but she kept reminding herself what a hypocrite she was. Beau was head over heels for Victoria, telling her every night just that. She couldn't lose that. And even though she was in love with him too, she hadn't yet told him. She wouldn't dare until she had nothing to come clean about.
It did bother him slightly, that she hadn't reciprocated this sentiment yet. But he knew rushing into something she wasn't feeling was worse than not having her at all. He was just thankful she'd allowed him this mistake and given him another opportunity to make things right. He just hoped there would be no other situations that would put him in this position again.
Beau pulled up in his best, a navy blazer with a soft red tie to compliment his black dress pants. He stepped out of his car and felt his body racing to the door. It seemed he'd lost all control of himself when it came to Victoria. If she was around, he had to be near her. He would dash for miles to be along side her heavenly body.
Beau knocked on her door, quickly being opened by a woman whose smile matched his own. He knew she had to feel the same way. Why else would she have opened up the door so fast? He eyed her with immediate lust. Her black ponte dress was so form fitting on the front, and he immediately realized she was not sporting a bra. The way the cotton hugged at the natural form of her large breasts made him stutter without even speaking. Her waist also clung to the material, and the dress ended with a full, shirred skirt.
"God you're marvelous," he spoke in more of a husky breath. She literally took his breath away.
"You look divine Beau," she cooed.
"These are for you," he handed her over a dozen red roses, as an apology for earlier and a way to woo her. Victoria puckered her lips in surprise, the natural rose of her cheeks highlighting her joy.
"Thank you. Allow me to place this in a vase before we depart. Come in."
Victoria began walking to her kitchen for fresh water, which gave Beau the view of her backside. Her dress was backless. Even more for him to fawn over. He couldn't stand how badly she robbed him of his composure, but knew he should be thanking the high heavens for feeling something that most people his age could say they'd never known. To think a woman could step out of nowhere and inject immediate joy into a dull, unsatisfying life seemed like the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.
Victoria came stepping back, each click of her black heels coming toward him matched the pounds of his heart. 'The goddess is coming nearer,' he thought.
"I can't get over how gorgeous you are. Sometimes I cannot wrap my head around the fact that you even let me kiss you."
"What are you waiting for?" Victoria flirted. Beau smiled widely before leaning in to her. He gripped her waist as his lips pressed against her own. Beau didn't let go for minutes, Victoria nudging him to stop. "We're going to be late!"
"I'm sorry. You know I have no control over myself when it comes to you. And I just noticed your dress shows the sides of your breast. I don't think the performance will come between my vision and you."
"Nonsense. You've seen me naked plenty of times."
"It's never enough."
Beau escorted Victoria through the aisles of the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Vancouver after a posh dinner at Glowball. Tonight he didn't have to worry about the other men either, as they were on Vancouver Island for a symphony he had no interest in. Being with Victoria and showing off what he considered his grand prize only further boosted the fact that he was a part of Vancouver's elite. He knew the men saw him with her and were infuriated that they could look but not touch. Not like he, the man that had beaten every available handsome man and managed to score a date with such a woman.
"I cannot believe we are sitting third row Beau!" Victoria exclaimed as they found their seats in the center of the row. "You must have fabulous connections."
"I do, luckily. The good news is, the arts are hardly a challenge in a city where hockey reigns as king." Beau took a seat along side his love after reviewing their tickets to ensure they were in the right spot.
"I do enjoy hockey as well."
"Really? I never pegged you for a sports girl. I would love to go to a game with you. But you could melt the ice the second you step into the arena."
"That was too cheesy, but I'll accept it."
Beau took a look back to see the venue was filling out slowly, mostly in the back. Many people stood in the lobby congregating and obtaining glasses of wine. This meant he had a few minutes to touch her without looking undignified in public. He immediately wrapped his arm around her, allowing his fingers to trace the sides of her exposed breast.
"I wanted to you touch you this way so badly at dinner. You looked better than every dish on the table."
"Beau, will you ever run out of compliments?"
"God no," he still continued to stare at her like he couldn't keep focus. He felt his body sway, his composition long gone in admiration. "I can't get over it. How on earth does a woman as gorgeous as you want anything to do with me?"
Victoria placed her hand on Beau's defined chin and gave him the best response she could fathom.
"Beau, you are graceful. Intelligent, easy to be myself around, and absolutely a handsome man. I am honored that someone of your stature thinks so highly of me. I thank you for taking a risk of your career to even consider speaking to me beyond academic means. To think I've had the luxury of being with you for two month makes me squeal inside. There is no imbalance here. I am just as lost for you as you are for me."
Beau was so taken with her answer. He secretly felt a shameful guilt, for lusting so badly for a student. For thinking he wanted her light years more than she wanted him. Yet she had just confirmed to him that his fears were for not.
Beau noticed a few guests coming to the front row in the corner of his eye. He looked over in complete shock. It was the Dean of the University.
"Damnit, the Dean is here," he whispered to Victoria. He quickly changed his body language, sitting forward and hoping to rid himself of his lovesick appearance.
"Professor Edison?" the Dean immediately noticed Beau from behind. Beau immediately scored himself for being so tall and for having red hair, it was too quick to notice him in public.
"Good evening Dean Chambers," Beau rose, quickly looking down to ensure no erection was protruding from his hot conversation.
"I'm glad to see you managed to work the University connections for tickets to the show tonight as well?" Chambers asked. His outfit was cut of the same cloth as Beau's ensemble, however Beau knew his was probably of fine Italian craftsmanship, probably doubled in price.
"I did, thank you for allowing us professor's at your stash!"
"Where are the rest of the professors? I've never seen you without them."
"Uh, they're in Vancouver Island this evening, I had other interests than what they had planned."
"Oh, I see. Beau, allow me to introduce you to my fiance, Rebecca," the Dean showcased a woman who was clearly a decade if not younger than the graying man that presented her. Rebecca's elegant dress managed to show off a respectable amount of her breasts, however Beau immediately decided she didn't look anywhere near as amazing as Victoria.
"Nice to meet you Rebecca. I see Chambers had no problem finding a woman as effervescent as himself."
"Thank you, you're too kind."
"And your date, my you look familiar," Chambers paused for a moment when he noticed Victoria.
Even after the gorgeous speech they'd just made to each other confirming their mutual attraction, Beau knew he couldn't. Even though he'd already made a mess of their relationship by going on a fake date and getting caught..he just could not. He'd lose his job. Surely she would understand. If the Dean knew for a second she was a student, his reputation would be completely sullied, not to mention the possibility of being unemployed.
"She's not my date, I just met her. I'm here alone."
Beau regretted his words even as they came out of his stumbling, nervous mouth. His hands began to tremble, and he didn't dare to look at her reaction. What else was there to do? He was dying inside.
The universe is determined to make me miserable again. Why is this happening to me?!
"Splendid, we have an extra seat, come join us!"
"That would be excellent, I'd love to."
Victoria felt her eyes swelling but held in the pain as best she could. Her heart pounded madly and a lump in her throat made the idea of even yelling at Beau impossible. She couldn't believe he'd say something so cold after just moments ago he was professing how mad he was for her. After what had transpired that morning. Victoria knew she couldn't sit through this show, or this relationship. Beau was far too concerned with his outward appearance than treating her like a human being. No amount of his lust was going to make this pain worthwhile. She stood up, catching the attention of Dean Chambers again.
"Are you sure I haven't met you before?"
"Yes....actually, I think I've met you before. I think you were acquainted with my ex boyfriend," Victoria declared, looking Beau in the eyes as she spoke this decision. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go look for my boyfriend and get a drink."
Beau nearly fell backwards at this, spreading his arms out to grab a seat before he did in fact fall. His mouth hung open and his lips began to quiver. He expected her to be quite upset, but he didn't think she'd flat out dump him. Victoria was out of the aisle when Beau decided to follow her.
"A drink sounds like a splendid idea, can I get you two anything?"
"We have ours, thank you."
"I'll go get something for myself. Excuse me."
Beau walked down the row calmly before dashing up the aisle. He could see Victoria hastily walking out, as well as the heat of her anger. Flames ran across the carpeted lay of the venue, each one he stepped on made his whole body burn at his stupidity. He didn't even have a moment to decide what he'd say because he was at a complete loss at the fact that she'd just announced their breakup.
"Victoria!" Beau called out, dodging people in the lobby and finally catching up to her outside. He grabbed her arm when he knew she wasn't going to slow down for him.
"Let me go!" she spoke quietly, trying not to cause a scene. He let go of her immediately.
"Victoria, I am so, so sorry," he begged, his eyes filled with a guilt and fear that could only be found on a small child committing their first sin. "I was terrified, I didn't know what to say when he said he recognized you!"
"I don't care."
"You have to understand, he is the Dean! His is the absolute authority over my job. Do you know how infuriated he would be with me if I told him you were my girlfriend and then he found out you were my student? Everyone would think I was a pervert!"
Victoria couldn't believe how ridiculous his excuses were. How important he felt other people's opinion were. Apparently so important than he didn't care how badly it hurt their relationship. She could feel her face tense, wrinkles exposing every ounce of anger.
"And what does that matter? Tonight was so important for us. And you felt it was more important to keep a reputation intact around people that have nothing to do with us? Dear god Beau, after I forgave you for going on a date with another woman, you pull another stunt the very same day? Are you mad?"
"I completely understand, I'm so sorry. This is getting so out of hand. I don't know what to do! I'm so scared Victoria! I don't want to lose my job, I don't want to lose my friends."
"What friends? Those people that you secretly hate and only hang out with so you'll be part of the club?"
"It's not like that!"
"Of course it is. You are pathetic! I knew I should have ran from you earlier. You don't care about me, you just care about everyone else's opinion of you!"
"Please forgive me. I'm crazy about you."
"If your friends opinions of you are more important than me, you've made your decision. You've made me feel worthless for long enough, Professor Edison."
"Tell me you didn't mean what you said back there!"
Her tears began flowing down her brown eyes rapidly. There was no stopping the pain.
"I did," she shook her head just to confirm her decision, in case he didn't understand. "I did."
"Victoria, please," Beau trembled. She could see behind his own eyes that he was moments from letting tears escape as well. In one quick motion she turned around and marched off across the large sidewalk.
Beau walked her exposed back, her voluptuous bottom as she stepped off. Each slam of her feet on the ground, he could hear his own heart breaking. He desperately tried to control his breathing. He knew now was not the time to cry. He couldn't go back inside to face his higher ups in this state. Before returning to the venue, he stepped into the bathroom and hid in a stall. He punched the door despite knowing how painful it would be to himself.
He'd lost her. The most gorgeous woman he'd ever met. A woman he'd fantasized about, and unrealistically had these fantasies come to life. Victoria hated him. And for what? For approval of people he almost never spoke to?
The pain of crashing his fist against the door did nothing to stop it. He started crying.