Months passed, Nick avoided talking about the baby after touching it. He avoided appointments by claiming he was busy. At this point I was showing and knew we were having a boy. Nick didn't seem interested when I told him. He hardly hung around the house especially if I was there.
I walked in from my final appointment; Nick looked up "How was it?" I dropped the picture on his lap "He's healthy, any day now." He jumped up following me to the room "I read sex can help make labor easier." I stopped and turned "That's probably the only time you've been invested in this whole thing." He shrugged "If it makes it easy, why pass it up?"
I got mad "You've had no interest in your son or any of the appointments but when fucking me is involved you're open to be "helpful" I don't think so." I laid down because my back was hurting me and I had a lot of pressure on my pelvis. Nick sat on the opposite side of the bed "I'm not ready. I'm still not sure I can do this." I got agitated because of the pain in my stomach "Of course you aren't. You aren't meant to be a father!"
He moved to my side of the bed "Let me help you." I shoved his hands away "I've done this, I got this." I stood up and my water broke; I looked down and neither one of us was moving. Nick jumped up a few moments later "Come on." He led me to the car "Where is everything. I'll come back for it later." I took a deep breathe "It's all in here."
We arrived to the hospital; Nick stood back away from the bed. The nurses kept encouraging him but he wouldn't budge. He had fear and regret written all over his face; the nurse guided me and helped me through my contractions. I turned to him; he had tears in his eyes. I reached my hand out to him, he shook his head and mouth "I can't."
The doctor walked up to him and rubbed his back reassuring him everything was fine. He stood beside me; I grabbed his hand but once I did, a contraction hit again and I squeezed his hand. The nurse stood up and Nick sat where she sat "I'm really sorry." The nurse helped guide him, he paid close attention to her and listened to her. I refused the epidural this time and just as I was beginning to regret it.
Nick came through, he guided my breathing and stayed strong though in his eyes he wanted to break down. The nurse allowed me to move around to help; I leaned on Nick for support, I forgot how painful this is and how long it takes, my doctor came in having me lay down so she can check me "We are at a 6 sweetie, you're doing good. Just keep moving and breathing. We're almost there."
A couple hours passed, I began crying because it hurt ten times worse but Nick stayed strong for me. He got some ice chips for me to chew on to help. It got to the point I had to lay down on my side; Nick rubbed my lower back.
The doctor came back in "Let's check you mama." Nick helped me to my back, she checked me "We're at a 9. You will start feeling pressure." I snapped "This is not my first baby." I started yelling when I felt a bunch of pressure; the doctor quickly grabbed some blankets and set up. I began pushing; Nick gulped but kept his attention on me occasionally looking to see if it was over.
The doctor hollered "One big push for me." I used all my strength I had left and pushed. Right away we got a loud crying baby. Nick looked down and tears left his eyes "Lil. Look at him." They cleaned him up and handed him to Nick; he came over to the bedside, holding him "I love you Lily. Thank you for doing this."
He handed me our son and sat at my side "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that. I was afraid of my emotions so I shut them out." I rubbed our son's little cheek "I know." Nick grabbed his finger "I love him." I looked up at him "He loves you. Don't ever doubt that."
Nick looked away "I love you too. I don't know if I will ever be able to repeat today and the process, it was... Traumatic." I laughed "I couldn't have done it without you. I don't know where I thought natural was the way to go." He laughed "That was insane. You definitely have my respect for doing it and sitting here completely pain free." I smiled "I'm exhausted. And hungry."
He picked up Julian from me "I can make a run to the cafeteria. I know you just missed dinner." I laid back "Please?" Nick laid Julian in the bassinet "Yeah rest up, I'll be back." I tried rolling onto my side so I could face Julian, though it hurt so much I managed. I fell asleep with my hand in the bassinet gently grasping his tiny hand.
I woke up once Nick came back with a food tray "This doesn't look appetizing." I grabbed it from him and opened it "This is fine." I started eating; he looked at Julian "Well my dad can shut up about having a son now." I stopped eating and looked at him "You talk to him still?"
He looked at me "Well yeah. He doesn't know where we are." I swallowed my juice "But he wants to kill you?" He smirked "Would you kill our son?" I rolled my eyes "You can't compare my logic to your dad's. He had no issue trying to kill you, I wouldn't even think about it." He nodded "True but past is in the past. He was excited for the blood line to continue, of course he wasn't quite happy that it continued yours."
I shook my head and got pissed "He's not getting involved in any of that. Nope. Nick get it out of your head." He smirked at me "Isn't it his choice?" I started getting more upset "No because it's not a choice. He's going to live a normal life." He chuckled "Whatever you say." I closed the food "I don't appreciate how little you are thinking about his life. He didn't ask to be brought here, he doesn't need that life style."
Nick stood up "Lil. You know what our lives come with. He may as well be prepared for anything especially if something happened to us." I glared at him "Then stop. I've managed to stay out of it." He picked up Julian "Can't you imagine him being a bad ass like his dad and grandpa?" I got irritated "My parents are just as powerful." He set him down in my arms "Exactly. Imagine the strengths combined. He will take over the world."
I didn't agree with it but I was too exhausted to argue it or fight. I agreed to disagree with Nick just because I didn't want to piss him off. Not because I feared him but I feared myself. I didn't want to publicly show myself in that way. We'd have that talk at his house.
The next few days were getting used to taking care of Julian and understanding his routine. Once we got a hang of it, we were ready to leave the hospital. He got cozy in his new room and slept comfortably; I spent most of my time with him and avoided talking to Nick majority of the time.
I came out of his room, Nick met me at the door "You can't avoid me forever." I crossed my arms "Who said I was avoiding you?" He smirked "Come on. I know deep down you want this. We both train with him and teach him everything we know; he'll be unstoppable." I glared at him "He's a baby and well far from becoming anything yet." He put his hand on my cheek "We created the world's next greatest mafia boss. You're dad would be so proud."
I moved his hand off of my face "Why can't he just have a normal life? Why do you have to force this on him. Nick come on, he doesn't deserve that." He raised his eyebrows "Maybe Connor should get a DNA test." He walked down the hall; I snapped "Because I wasn't raised around it. My dad wouldn't want this. He'd want it to stop." Nick turned "Then he's a fool too."
He continued walking; I followed him "Excuse me." He kept walking down stairs ignoring me, I grabbed his arm "I'm talking to you!" He turned and smirked in my face "I don't take orders from anyone. Including you." I looked him dead in the face not intimidated "I don't give a fuck. I'm talking to you." He bit his bottom lip "This is why he should be trained." I got into his face more and held my composure "He isn't doing shit. I said no. Respect my decision or you and I will have problems." He smirked with a chuckle "Lilianna. Calm down."
I raised my voice "Am I clear!?? If you do any kind of training with him I will rip you apart myself." He continued smirking and turned away "You surely have your work cut out for you." I felt my heart in my throat but I maintained myself "You don't know shit about me. You've only been gone every day we've been here. Showed no interest in anything until you saw your son. Now you want to stand here acting like you have a hold over my head? There's something worse than a leader. A territorial mother." He looked at me "I don't take threats lightly."
I turned to go back to Julian's room before I did something I can't take back "Then don't. I don't mean it lightly." I went back into the room shutting the door behind me; I laid back in the reclining chair and ended up falling asleep. I was nobody's bitch and neither was my son; if I die keeping him from that lifestyle so be it.