When I woke up the next morning, I was not feeling very well. Rajbir checked my temperature which was slightly higher than normal, and I had a runny nose.
'We should cancel the outing,' Piyush suggested when the rest of the team walked into the room to see how I was doing. I do not know how bad I actually looked, but judging by the look on everyone's faces, I think I looked way worse than I felt that day.
'But why?' Pihu asked, surprising everyone. She looked at all the others in the room with her hands in the air. She was apparently not happy to miss out on her fun because of a measly-looking colleague who is sick.
'Pihu is right. We should all go. This is our last chance to go out together, as a team, in Australia.' Rajbir was not too kind either. But I do not blame either of them as I would had reacted exactly the same way had Pihu been down with a fever. I wish that Pihu gets the flu soon, I slyly prayed.
'Will you be able to manage alone?' Piyush asked, looking concerned, and I nodded, just to make him happy. Internally, I was dying and wanted someone to be by my side just in case.
'Have fun!' I managed to say as the team walked out. Both Piyush and Pihu turned around to give me a look before heading out.
I was alone and unwell. To add to my misery, Pihu walked back in again. This time she was alone.
'I think he is not your type and you should step back,' she said, almost aggressively between clenched teeth. Her eyes were cold as if she were threatening me. Wait, she is threatening me!
'What?' I attempted to get up from my bed, but failed. I seemed to be really weak. My reactions, which was usually quite slow, were the slowest they had ever been.
'Do not think you are fooling me. I know what you have been trying to do for the last few days. I can see what you feel for him, but trust me, he has no feelings for you or anyone for that matter, at this moment. He is a good friend of mine. I have known him for months now, and I can tell you that he is not very comfortable with your attempts to be all over him, so back off!' there was a severe warning in her tone. I could see that she was trying to mess things up.
'Really?' I faked a laugh, and ended up coughing like an old woman. 'I known him for far more years and months than you have. He is a grown-up men who can speak his mind. If he has a problem with me or in being with me, he is very capable of telling me himself. You don't need to speak for him,' I growled at her, thanks to my sore throat, and before the unnecessary argument became more heated, I ducked my face under the duvet. There is no point wasting your time on a conversation with a bitch like her, I told myself. My head was hurting as if it were going to burst with all the anger and rage in me, and to add to all that, there was this bloody Australian flu. Somehow, I always knew that Pihu was trouble.
I had never been in a situation like this before, fighting over a man with a girl. I think I should talk to Piyush and tell him to put his friend in her place, I decided, and dialled his number after I heard Pihu stomp out of my room without closing the door behind her.
Surprisingly, Pihu picked up my call. What the . . . words evaded me, and she didn't take long to say, 'I told you not to bother him.'
I decided to lie down and take a nap as I felt exhausted after the unwanted war of words.
Later, I lay in bed looking at the white ceiling above my head. The fever, as well as Pihu's words, had hit me hard. It is evident that he doesn't want you to bother him. He did not even pick up your call. That was true, but it was also true that we had had such a fantastic time together; we had had such nice conversations, and he trusted me enough to tell me about his parents. Even that morning when he'd spoken to me, he'd sounded so concerned. It was not adding up. If everything was actually as good as I thought, then why had he not taken my call? Why did he allow Pihu to talk to me? My own thoughts and Pihu's words kept rushing through my brain. I recall waking up a few times with distributing thoughts about Piyush and Pihu in my head. Piyush will enjoy his day in my absence with Pihu . . . I was being as melodramatic as a film actress. I was the good girl in our love story but failed miserably when a surge of anger filled my heart. No thoughts, rational or otherwise, came to me. I was thoughtless and blank for the first time in ages. I could think of nothing, and soon I drifted into the world of nightmares.
When I woke up, I was feeling much better--physically. The fever was gone. I could tell that without the aid of a thermometer. I felt lighter in the head as the throbbing pain was gone, even though my nose was still blocked, and my throat hurt as if someone had mowed it using a tiny lawnmower.
I adjusted my pillows to sit up, and did what anyone does once they wake up----I aimlessly scrolled on my phone. It was not connected to the hotel Wi-Fi, so I had nothing new to look at. I plugged my phone into free data and went into the washroom while it synced. When I came back, to my surprise, there were a few WhatsApp calls as well as messages on the phone--mostly from Piyush and Rajbir.
I responded to Rajbir's messages to let him know that I was feeling much better and was happy that they were enjoying their trip. Piyush too had asked me if I was okay, but I chose to ignore his courtesy texts. After my heated conversation with Pihu last evening, I needed time to figure out where it was all going, and honestly, I had entirely convinced myself that he was toying with my heart and feelings. My ego, which I believed I termed as self-respect then, raised it's ugly head from under all the love that I had for him and ruled my actions.
More than Pihu, I was angry and upset with Piyush. He had made me believe that he felt something for me. We were friends, and he could have told me directly if he was not interested. I never crossed my limits. Who is Pihu? Why has he involved her? I recall saying such things to myself all day while analysing and overanalysing the situation. The rational 'me' should have just waited for them to return and talked to Piyush about what had happened between Pihu and me. But the rational 'me' was not well, and the new me was high on ego, the worst of human emotions. I decided to overthink and make matters worse. I was only interested in shutting him out of my life and forgetting the last three years of my life which I had mostly spent thinking about Piyush. It is never easy to forget the first love of your life, even if it is a one-sided love affair; all the memories come back to haunt you, all night, every night. But I had to try no matter how difficult it was.
This was the beginning of a new phase in my life, the worst period in a way.