I was having trouble sleeping, the pain in my back every time I moved from the bandages pulling on the healing wounds. The nurses were kind enough to get me a strong pain reliever to help me sleep.
I dreamt that Lance was there all night, holding my hand, talking to me all night. Everything was fuzzy in my dream, but I know he kept telling me he loves me.
When I woke up in the morning it was to the smell of breakfast being served by the nurses.
"The doctor is going to come take your bandages off and check them. He might let you go home today." The nurse brightly informed me. "He wanted the psych trauma doctor to come talk to you, but that handsome man in the sling informed us that you are his patient and he's cleared you to go home. We've been having to beat the ladies down in the medical billing department to stay away and let you rest though. I didn't realize that you worked here."
She continued on, chit chatting while she took my vitals and then let me eat in peace. After breakfast, Jim came by with my medical billing information for the hospital insurance. He just needed my signature, but still spent half an hour talking with me, grateful that I was going to be alright.
I was starting to feel abandoned, that I had not heard or seen Lance since that first time I woke up here. Brian said he understood about his mother, but that didn't mean he forgave me.
Tears rolled down my face worse than a leaky faucet by lunch time. The nurse concerned asked if I wanted to talk about it, but I just shook my head.
"Thank you, but I'll be alright. I'm just emotional right now, from everything." I forced a light smile and she patted my hand.
"Alright, but we are all here for you if you need us." She left after I ate my lunch and I laid there, letting my anxieties grow.
The doctor came by around three and after checking my bruising, my eyes, reflexes, and then the wounds on my back, he asked if I was ready to go home.
Sick of being stuck in bed with just my thoughts to run wild, I told him yes.
He nodded, "I'll get started on your discharge paperwork then." He patted my hand and left my room. I started crying again, wondering how I was going to get home, what I was going to wear, and if I was even going to feel safe again in my home.
"Lirael! Oh honey, why are you crying?" Beth's voice comes from behind me, and my head whips around to see her in a wheel chair being pushed by Lance.
I look at them both, seeing the care and concern in Lance's eyes, and I can't say anything, I just reach my hands out for a hug as I bawl. Lance is quick to gently wrap his arms around me.
"Are you in pain? I thought I heard the doctor telling the Nurses you could go home today?" Lance pulls back and I reach and pull him back to me tighter.
"I haven't seen you but once this whole time I've been here. I thought.. I thought..." I try to get out, my sobs choking my words up.
"Lirael, my love, I was here all night, every night. I was helping clean up your house and got things ready there for you to come home. I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean for you to think I didn't want to be with you anymore." He gently but firmly holds me to his chest, kissing my head tenderly, letting me cry out my emotions.
Once I've settled back down, Beth comes over, to hold my hand. "My poor girl, you've been through so much. Don't worry, we are all here for you." She gives me a weak smile, but her brows quickly pinch together, "Lirael, I wanted to apologize for asking you to keep that secret. It wasn't fair to you for me to ask that of you and maybe if I hadn't... this would not have happened." Tears collect in her own eyes as she waits for me to respond.
"Don't be silly, it's not your fault. If we had walked into the house together, I may not have him right now. He planned on killing whoever came through that door if I was not alone. If I had not of screamed gun, Brian may not even had made it. I guess that startled them both and moved just enough that the bullet didn't hit anything vital. So please don't feel guilt where you should not, mom." I reassure her.
She chuckles, "But at least you got to beat the shit out of that asshole. I'm proud of you, my dear."
We both break out into laughter, even though my laughter was more shock from hearing Lance's sweet mother cuss. After we had our little laugh, a thought ran through my mind.
"Why are you out of your room?" I ask her.
"We came to take you home. Well, Lance is taking me to Jim and Faith's house, and then you two can go home. But I wanted to see my girl too." Beth smiles warmly at me, sparing a glance at Lance.
I give Lance a smile of my own, even though it hurt to smile right now.
"I'm just waiting on my discharge papers, but I don't have any clothes to wear home." I mention, pulling at my hospital gown.
Beth does an 'ah ha' gesture with a finger in the air, and reaches around to grab a small bag hanging from one of the handles.
"Lance brough you a dress and shoes. I'll give you two some privacy. I'm sure you will need help to get dressed and Lance is better suited to help you dear." She rolls her self out into the hall as Lance pulls the privacy curtain closed.
He pulls some underwear out of the bag, slipping my feet in and pulling them up, but leaving them lower on my hips to avoid the swollen skin on my lower back.
I can feel the tension rolling off of Lance as he sees all the bandages on my back. I can only imagine what it looks like without them on.
The dress is light and loose fitting, slipping on over my head and Lance helps get my arms in, since I can't stretch them out or bend them too much to avoid opening up my wounds. He slips a pair of sandals on my feet and helps me stand on my own from the bed. I can't stand up straight from my back and feel like an old woman, hunched over.
The nurse comes in with my papers, grabs my bag of items that I came in with, other than my shirt from that day. It was tattered and ruined from the blood, so they threw it out. She helps pack up bandages, salves, gloves and some numbing cream if I needed it to sleep. She leaves to grab me a wheel chair and help me out to the entrance, while Lance takes his mother to the car and comes back to pick me up.
Getting into his car was hard, I was not sure if I'd be able to get back out on my own. I stayed in the car while Lance took his mother into his uncles house, informing them I was kind of tired. Lance was quick about coming back out, even though I nodded off from the pain meds that the hospital gave me earlier.
When I felt arms scoop me up under my knees, I jolted awake.
Lance calms me, "It's okay. It's just me, hold onto my neck, so I can carry you inside."
I do as he asks, hiding my face in the crook of his neck as we stepped inside my house. He carried me, carefully upstairs to my bedroom. I look around and notice nothing is out that Billy had used. I looked at my head board and took note that the restraints were no longer there either.
"What happened to my..?" I pointed and Lance gives me a strained smile.
"The police took all that as evidence. I didn't think you'd mind, considering."
I nod and sigh. "I need to clean my self, but can't soak in the tub, or sit under a shower yet. Can you help me to the bathroom, so I can take a washcloth bath please?"
I bite my lip and look down in embarrassment.
I have become so damn helpless and pitiful.